Dead Dads

"I'm Lucky It Hurts This Much" — Matty Woods on Losing His Dad to Cancer

Matty Woods's dad just died. Nigel passed at home on a "beautiful bluebird January day" — surrounded by family, with a glass of Dalmore scotch in hand, on his own terms. After nine years fighting prostate cancer, Nigel chose MAID — medical assistance in dying — and gave his family a real, deliberate, dying-with-dignity goodbye. This is one of the most powerful conversations we've recorded on the Dead Dads Podcast, and Matty is sitting in the rawest part of grief: fresh, early, still finding the words. For the men out there who've just lost your dad, who are watching your father die slowly from cancer, or who are trying to figure out how to deal with anticipatory grief that doesn't follow any rulebook — this episode is for you. Nigel Woods spent nine years fighting prostate cancer (which he renamed "MDS — mangled dick syndrome," because of course he did). He wrote letters to his grandkids. He recorded videos for his friends. He built a bridge on his property he'd cry coming home to. And when he chose medical assistance in dying, he gave his family one final, impossible gift — the kind of goodbye most of us don't get to give the people we love. Matty Woods came into the studio fresh from emceeing a 1,200-person celebration of life for his dad. In this episode of the Dead Dads Podcast, he tells us: – Why his dad's two rules for his celebration of life were "no sadness, and a shot of scotch before you walk in" – What it felt like to hold his father's hand as he passed and "breathe in all of his energy" – The sign he got on a plane to Hawaii — and the neon-green streak across the night sky he'll never forget – Why he's "finding it difficult to stay really sad," and what anticipatory grief actually feels like when you've had nine years to brace for it – How he's now living as "the steward of his dad's legacy," and asking himself "What would Nig do?" This is a conversation about losing your dad to cancer. About medical assistance in dying in Canada and what dying with dignity actually looks like inside one family's living room. About anticipatory grief, the long goodbye, and the strange "lucky it hurts this much" feeling that follows when a father passes away exactly the way he wanted to. If your dad died — recently or years ago — or you're walking through it right now with him: you are not alone. Welcome to the club no one wants to join. Losing your dad sucks. But talking about it doesn't have to. — The Dead Dads Podcast is the only podcast for men who've lost their dads. Grief for men, men's mental health, and male grief — unfiltered. Two guys whose dads are dead, sitting across from guests who get it. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham. — Chapters: 00:00 Cold open — 1,200 people, one shot of scotch 03:00 Nigel's rules for his own celebration of life 06:30 "I'm lucky it hurts this much" 07:30 Mangled Dick Syndrome — prostate cancer, dark humor edition 12:00 Anticipatory grief and the August scare 13:00 Choosing MAID — medical assistance in dying on his own terms 15:00 The bluebird day, the bridge, and the scotch 17:30 Holding his hand as his father passed away 18:45 The plane, the comet, and "There he is. He's running." 23:30 Emceeing in front of 1,200 people 30:00 "What would Nig do?" — living as the steward 32:30 Why Matty feels infinitely proud — Follow the show, leave a rating, and join the club: All the links: linktr.ee/deaddads Instagram: @deaddadspodcast TikTok: @dead.dads.podcast We are not therapists. We may like to think we are, but we are not. We give really good advice though — just not medically or therapeutically. Although if you do feel better after this one, that's okay. But we'll bill you.

When Does Grief Get Easier? This Is What Actually Happens | Dave Genn of 54-40 | Dead Dads Podcast

"When does grief get easier?" — it's the question every man asks after losing his dad. 💔 Dave Genn got the honest answer from guys who'd already been through it: the hurt doesn't dull, and it doesn't get less painful. But it stops being all day, every day. That's what actually happens. We're Roger and Scott — two guys whose dads are dead, here to normalize the stuff nobody says out loud. Losing your dad sucks, but talking about it doesn't have to. IN THIS EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT → Why Dave says "when you see your father pass, you're next" → How his dad mourned the end of his creative life before he died → The moment Dave rewrote "Crossing a Canyon" from major to minor — because the original didn't feel right after his dad died → The album that came out of that grief (La Difference) → A dream where his dad said "everything's gonna be okay" → Why grief doesn't get less painful — it just stops being all day, every day → Losing his mom four years later, and the apathy that followed → Being an atheist when the people you love die → Why mortality is the great leveler This is a raw, honest, and genuinely funny conversation about losing your dad — and finding out how much he's still with you. 🎸 Dave Genn is the lead guitarist of 54-40, a Canadian rock band that's been together for over 40 years. His father, Robert Genn, was one of Canada's most beloved painters and creator of The Painter's Keys — a newsletter read by over 60,000 artists worldwide. CHAPTERS 00:00 When Dad Passes You're Next 01:37 Meet Dave Genn 02:02 Who Robert Genn Was 03:44 Advice Dreams and Songs 05:25 Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis 06:37 Final Months at Home 09:23 Turning Grief Into Art 11:27 Aftermath Work and Logistics 13:09 Legacy Paintings and Mortality 15:47 Counting the Years 16:37 Bandmates and Loss 18:08 Work as Coping 19:25 Crossing a Canyon (and La Difference) 22:33 Collaboration and Support 24:13 Grief Over Time 27:56 Advice for the Moment 28:34 Nihilism and Apathy 30:14 The Great Leveler 32:03 Atheism and Afterlife 33:19 Closing and Resources Dead Dads Podcast is a grief support space for men who've lost their dads. Dark jokes. Honest conversations. Losing your dad sucks, but talking about it doesn't have to. 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode 🎙️ Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts + more: https://linktr.ee/deaddads FOLLOW + CONNECT Website [https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@dead.dads.podcast] Substack [https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast/notes] #DeadDadsPodcast #grief #mentalhealth New episodes every week.

20 Years Later — What Grief Looks Like When the Dust Settles

Mike Wasko's dad died 20 years ago. He's still figuring out what that means. At 29, Mike became his father's primary caregiver after a cancer diagnosis. Then he walked out of a doctor's appointment knowing something his dad didn't — and had to decide what to do with that information. That moment changed everything. Two decades later, Mike sits down with us to talk about what grief actually looks like when the raw edges start to dull. Spoiler: it doesn't disappear. It just shifts. In this episode: * What it's like to grow up with a father who intimidated everyone around him — and why Mike now calls that "a gift" * Becoming his dad's caregiver at 29, and the one conversation he never should have had to have * Why he finally went to therapy — and what his therapist said that reframes grief completely * The "cosmic joke" of watching his youngest son become his late father, trait for trait * The crater analogy: why grief isn't something you get over — it's something you get used to "Grief is the cost of loving someone. And that's just a perfectly natural response." If you're years out and still feel it — this one's for you. And if you're just starting, this is what 20 years of living with it looks like. It gets different. Maybe even better. Chapters: 00:00 – Introduction: Who Is Mike Wasko? 01:21 – Mike Joins the Pod: 20 Years of Grief 02:34 – Why He's Talking About It Now 04:23 – Meet Bob Wasko: "Larger Than Life" 06:23 – His Dad's Parenting Style: Tough Love & Unconventional Fun 07:25 – The Diagnosis: Six Months, and a Secret to Keep 13:34 – Giving Up His Life to Move In With His Dying Dad 15:12 – The Falling Out — and the Reconciliation That Changed Everything 18:16 – Anger, Therapy, and "The Cost of Loving Someone" 24:50 – Becoming a Dad and Finding His Father in Himself 29:10 – His Kids Ask Why Grandpa Died (and Want to Build a Robot of Him) 31:37 – Approaching the Age His Dad Died 32:28 – Mike's Grief Analogy: The Crater That Never Fills 35:35 – Final Thoughts & Where to Follow 🎧 Dead Dads Podcast is a grief support group for men that laughs way too much. New episodes every week on YouTube, Apple, Spotify, and everywhere you listen. FOLLOW + CONNECT Website [https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@dead.dads.podcast] Substack [https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast/notes] 📲 Follow the show so you never miss an episode. 💬 Leave a review — it helps more men find this.

Grief for Men After Your Dad Dies | The Dead Dads Check-In

What does grief actually look like after losing your dad? In this Dead Dads Check-In, we talk about the parts of father loss that don’t always get said out loud. The family vacation that feels off without him. The anniversary rituals that keep him close. The question of whether to keep his stuff or get rid of it. Crying in front of your kids. Dad jokes. Garage clutter. Random sayings. All of it. This episode is for men dealing with grief, father loss, and the strange mix of sadness, guilt, humor, memory, and love that comes after your dad dies. If your grief has felt messy, uneven, or unexpectedly funny at times, this one will feel familiar. What you’ll get out of this episode * A more honest picture of what grief can look like after losing a father * A reminder that grief is not just sadness. It can also be guilt, laughter, rituals, and random memories * A way to think about what to keep, and what to let go * Reassurance that grief moves around. It does not show up the same way every day * Permission to cry in front of your kids without feeling weak * A reminder that remembering your dad can happen through small family traditions, not just big emotional moments * The feeling that you’re not the only one whose grief looks messy, uneven, or unexpectedly funny Chapter list 00:00 When your son sees you cry 00:32 Where grief sits right now 01:09 The first family vacation without dad 01:51 How we mark our dad’s anniversary 02:29 Helping your kids remember their grandpa 03:10 Dollar store memories and dad clutter 04:09 The appliances dads absolutely did not need 04:57 First concerts and dads waiting in the car 05:17 Should you keep your dad’s stuff after he dies? 06:37 Is it okay for men to cry? 07:06 Crying in front of your kids after father loss 09:20 Are dad jokes actually funny? 10:25 The expressions every dad repeated to death 10:49 Garage junk, batteries, and classic dad behavior Follow + Connect Website [https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@dead.dads.podcast] Substack [https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast/notes] New episodes every week.

He Got the Call… and Had to Tell His Family His Dad Was Dead

Start here if you need the quick version If you’re dealing with losing your dad, or your dad died suddenly and you had to handle everything, this episode will feel familiar. John got the call. Then had to sit down with his mom and brother and tell them their dad was gone. No plan, no instructions, no will. Just responsibility. The kind you definitely didn’t apply for… but somehow got the job anyway. If you have a little more time John shares what it’s like to lose a father when nothing is prepared. There’s no will, no clear instructions, and no estate planning. You have to make big decisions while you’re still trying to process that it really happened. We talk about what it’s like to tell your family that someone has died, and how it feels to be the one sharing that news. In the first few days, funeral planning, logistics, and paperwork appear right away, like a to-do list you never wanted. There’s also pressure that hits fast. People expect you to be the strong one, to stay steady, to carry it for everyone else. This is where emotional stoicism in men shows up, and where it can start to crack a bit under the weight. We also talk about the unfinished conversations, the questions you never asked, and the things you assumed you’d have time to figure out. Turns out, that part doesn’t just fade out quietly. This episode is also practical. If you’re looking for real advice on losing a parent or trying to understand how to deal with grief, there are takeaways here. Especially around what happens when there’s no will, and how avoidable estate planning mistakes can make a hard situation a lot harder. If you’re dealing with the loss of a father, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers an honest look at grief without pretending it’s simple or easy. In this episode, you’ll learn: - What it’s actually like to get the call and then be the one who has to tell your family - What the first few days look like after your dad dies, not the version people imagine, the real one - How to handle everything when there’s no will, no plan, and no clear instructions - Why the pressure to be “the strong one” shows up fast, and what it does to you - Why the conversations you didn’t have stick with you longer than you expect - How to make decisions when nothing feels clear and you don’t trust your own judgment yet - What you can do now so your family isn’t left figuring it out while they’re grieving John and his dad John Abreu spent his childhood in both Venezuela and Canada. His father (John Abreu Sr.), a mathematician, lived by discipline, hard work, and always being there for his family. He encouraged John to think more deeply and strive for better, even if John didn’t always see the value then. In 2022, his dad died suddenly, with no plan and no will, leaving John to tell his family and handle everything that followed. Now he’s focused on carrying forward what mattered, while being more open and proactive so the people around him aren’t left guessing. In this episode: 0:00 – Why Small Moments Hit Hardest (grief shows up when you don’t expect it) 0:23 – What This Podcast Is (real talk about male grief, not expert advice) 1:02 – Why Talking About Losing Your Dad Matters (even if guys avoid it) 2:42 – What You Carry From Your Dad (what only makes sense later) 6:01 – The One Sentence That Sticks Long After He’s Gone 7:24 – What You Might Do Differently (especially around stoicism) 8:53 – What It’s Like to Get the Call (how fast everything changes) 12:09 – How to Tell Your Family Someone Died (when you’re not ready) 13:47 – When Responsibility Lands on You (and you don’t get a choice) 16:27 – What the First Few Days Look Like (shock, logistics, priorities) 17:38 – What Happens Without a Will (why it gets heavier) 19:17 – How to Make Decisions Without Clear Answers 20:14 – What “Doing It Right” Means (burial, cremation, meaning) 21:58 – How to Honor Someone So It Lasts (beyond the funeral) 23:59 – How Grief Changes Over Time (staying strong isn’t enough) 25:45 – How Losing Your Dad Shows Up in Parenting 28:24 – The Questions You’ll Wish You Asked (and why you didn’t) 31:50 – What You Can Do Now to Prepare (so family isn’t guessing) 33:21 – What Grief Sounds Like Years Later (the sentence that stays) About Dead Dads Dead Dads is a podcast for guys figuring out life after losing their dad. It’s real conversations about grief, identity, and everything that comes after. You’re not alone. Follow + Connect Website [https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/] TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@dead.dads.podcast] Substack [https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast/notes] New episodes every other week.