I Have Sh_t to Say

IHSTS - Ep. 09 - Stop Calling It Independent — Let's Talk Community

We throw the word "community" around a lot. But do we actually know how to build it — or what's getting in our way? In this first-ever two-guest episode, Megan sits down with two powerhouse community builders, Barbi Watson and Becca Parks, for a real conversation about what community means, why so many of us are quietly lonely, and what it actually takes to find your people. They dig into the difference between showing up online versus showing up in real life, why introverts and extroverts need community differently (but equally), how emotional intelligence is the backbone of any real connection, and when community turns toxic. Plus: a frank conversation about conflict, accountability, and why being "nice" might be the thing destroying your community from the inside out. Less civility, more vulnerability — this episode is for you. Key Timestamps [00:00] Welcome & Introducing the Two Bees — Barbi Watson and Becca Parks [02:19] Check-In Question: Wild Notes on Our Phones [09:20] What Community Actually Means to Each of Them [13:50] Barbi Watson on Connection, Resources & Building Your Self-Care Team [15:24] Becca on Showing Up, Social Justice Book Club & Kankakee [17:49] Do We Actually Need Community? (The Introvert/Extrovert Debate) [23:55] Energy Givers, Energy Vampires & the Neutrals [26:09] Community-Building Tips for Introverts [29:44] Emotional Intelligence as the Foundation of Real Connection [33:37] When Community Becomes Toxic — Conflict, Power & Accountability [43:14] Nice vs. Kind, Running Out of F*cks & Older Women Who Know [51:30] Personal Responsibility, Shame & Naming What You Feel [58:30] Self-Compassion, Boundaries & Owning Your Shit [01:03:34] Takeaways: Know Your Strengths, Ask for Help & Start with the Emotion Wheel Standout Quotes "Less civility, more vulnerability. Let's stop being civil and stop being nice. Let's start being real with each other." "You are one person away from something amazing. That's how I feel about it." "Your gifts are not everybody else's gifts. Know your strengths, know your weaknesses, and find people whose strengths fill in where yours don't." Therapist's Toolkit 3 Community Questions: 1. Am I isolating because I need rest — or because I'm afraid to be seen? 2. Who in my life gives me energy, and who drains it? Am I being intentional about both? 3. When I show up in conflict, is my goal to be understood — or to change someone else's behavior? Resources How We Feel App (free emotional check-in tool — all 52 emotions, shareable with your community) Emotion Wheel Rise & Thrive Wellness Events — riseandthrivewellness.net Crisis Support 988 - Suicide Prevention Lifeline Text HOME to 741741 - Crisis Text Line Find a Therapist: Psychology Today | SAMHSA Treatment Locator Rise & Thrive Wellness: riseandthrivewellness.net Connect With Us Have a topic you want us to cover? Questions about community or other mental health topics? We'd love to hear from you! * Submit topic ideas: ihavesh1t2say@gmail.com * Follow us: * Instagram: @ihavesh_ttosay * TikTok: IHaveSh_tToSay * YouTube: www.youtube.com/@ihavesh_ttosay * Rate & Review: Help others find the podcast by leaving a review Credits Podcast Host: Megan Campbell, LCPC, ATR-BC Podcast Executive Producer: Brian T Prairie Podcast Operations Manager: MacKenzie Cloy New episodes drop every two weeks on Tuesday mornings at 5 am. Subscribe so you never miss an episode! Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're in crisis or need personalized support, please contact a licensed mental health professional.

IHSTS - Ep. 08 - Welcome to the Drama Triangle — Population: Everyone

Everyone talks about drama like it's something that just happens to them. But what if you're in it — and you don't even know it? In this solo episode, Megan breaks down the Karpman Drama Triangle (also called the Victim Triangle), the psychological model that explains how we all get pulled into cycles of conflict, codependency, and dysfunction — at work, at home, and everywhere in between.  Megan unpacks the three roles of the triangle — Victim, Hero (Rescuer), and Persecutor — and why no one stays stuck in just one. She connects it all to codependency, extrinsic vs. intrinsic motivation, people pleasing, passive aggression, and the surprising link to how you order your eggs. Plus: what the Four Agreements have to do with getting out of the triangle for good.  If you've ever wondered how you keep ending up in toxic jobs, exhausting relationships, or drama you swore you wouldn't create — this episode is your map out.  Key Timestamps* [00:22] Welcome Back & Betrayal List Check-In Question* [09:38] Today's Topic: Drama and Codependency* [10:00] What Is the Karpman Drama Triangle?* [11:30] The Three Roles: Victim, Hero, and Persecutor* [13:22] How the Roles Shift — and Why No One Stays Put* [15:15] When the Hero Becomes the Persecutor* [16:48] Breaking the Cycle: How to Turn Internal* [18:11] Codependency vs. Anti-Dependency — Two Sides of the Same Coin* [21:15] Helping vs. People Pleasing: What's the Difference?* [24:41] The Runaway Bride Problem: Losing Yourself to Your Environment* [30:05] Codependency in Two Umbrellas (The One Most People Miss)* [32:00] Passive Aggression as a Triangle Trap* [35:15] From Persecutor to Passionate — Finding the Intrinsic Version of Each Role* [37:07] State vs. Trait: Knowing Yourself Well Enough to Know the Difference* [41:44] The Four Agreements and Always Doing Your Best* [45:00] The Wave Analogy and Non-Permanence  Standout Quotes "If you are leaning towards being passive aggressive, you're already in the triangle."  "The hero needs to feel valuable. The victim needs to be heard. The persecutor needs control. How do you meet those needs for yourself — internally?"  "If I feel like I've been wronged, I don't have to be a victim. I can be a survivor, an advocate — I have a choice."  Therapist's Toolkit Questions to ask yourself when you feel pulled into drama: * Am I offering help because someone asked, or because it makes me feel needed? * Is my reaction coming from a value-driven place, or am I in the triangle? * Am I hungry, angry, lonely, or tired right now? (HALT before responding) * Do I believe I have control over what happens to me — or does life just happen to me?  Resources * Karpman Drama Triangle__ (Google: Karpman drama triangle) * The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz__ (book) * Runaway Bride (1999)__ — referenced as a pop culture example of losing your sense of self  Crisis Support * 988 - Suicide Prevention Lifeline * Text HOME to 741741 - Crisis Text Line  * Find a Therapist: __Psychology Today__ | __Rise & Thrive Wellness__  Connect With Us Have a topic you want us to cover? We'd love to hear from you! Submit topic ideas: ihavesh1t2say@gmail.com Follow us: * Instagram: @ihavesh_ttosay * TikTok: IHaveSh_tToSay * YouTube: www.youtube.com/@ihavesh_ttosay Rate & Review: Help others find the podcast by leaving a review  Credits Podcast Host: Megan Campbell, LCPC, ATR-BCPodcast Executive Producer: Brian T PrairiePodcast Operations Manager: MacKenzie Cloy  New episodes drop every two weeks on Tuesday mornings at 5 am. Subscribe so you never miss an episode!  Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're in crisis or need personalized support, please contact a licensed mental health professional.

IHSTS Ep. 07 - Let's Fight About Self-Compassion

Self-compassion: healing framework or permission slip to stay stuck? In this episode, therapist Megan Campbell goes head-to-head (boxing gloves included) with returning guest Brittany Gregory to dig into one of the most misunderstood concepts in mental health. They break down Dr. Kristin Neff's three-part model—mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity—plus her newer addition: fierce self-compassion. Megan admits she has beef with the word, Brittany defends the theory, and somehow they arrive at something genuinely useful together. If you've ever rolled your eyes at self-help softness, wondered whether compassion and accountability can actually coexist, or felt like self-compassion just sounds too soft to work—this episode is for you. Key Timestamps * [00:46] Intro: Raw Dogging It with Boxing Gloves On * [01:13] Defining Self-Compassion: The Three Parts Breakdown * [03:04] Fierce Self-Compassion: The Mama Bear Addition * [05:28] Where Megan's Beef Actually Comes From * [07:47] Grace vs. Accountability: The Bastardization Problem * [09:18] Theory vs. Practice: What Actually Happens in Real Life * [10:39] The Rainbow Gray Area (It's Not Black and White) * [12:08] Is Self-Compassion a Privileged Theory? * [16:06] When "Nice" Creeps Into Compassion (And Why It Shouldn't) * [19:35] The Weaponization Problem: When People Use It Wrong * [23:48] Fierce vs. Tender: Finding Your Balance * [27:23] Yin and Yang: Why We Need Both * [31:37] The Real Point: Change Yourself, Change the Dynamic Standout Quotes * "My self-compassion voice in my head is you a lot of the time—which is funny, because you're the one fighting me on this." * "Compassion doesn't mean no accountability. You're not like, 'oh, it's fine that you suck.' That would be the first step—mindfulness—what am I actually saying to myself?" * "Self-compassion is the gray area. I can call it the rainbow area because that's prettier." Therapist's Toolkit  Dr. Kristin Neff's 3 Components of Self-Compassion: 1. Mindfulness — Checking in with yourself and noticing what you're feeling without getting swept up in the story 2. Self-Kindness — Talking to yourself the way you'd talk to a friend (not nice—kind) 3. Common Humanity — Remembering that suffering is part of being human, not a personal failing Fierce vs. Tender Self-Compassion: * Tender = Internal softening; acknowledging pain without judgment, being present with struggle * Fierce = External action; setting boundaries, standing up for yourself, mama bear energy Who benefits most from self-compassion work? People stuck in shame spirals, perfectionists, high-anxiety individuals, and anyone who ties their worth directly to their performance or mistakes. Resources * Self-Compassion.org — Dr. Kristin Neff's official site with practices and videos * The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff & Christopher Germer * Dr. Kristin Neff on Instagram (@neffselfcompassion) Crisis Support 988 - Suicide Prevention Lifeline Text HOME to 741741 - Crisis Text Line Find a Therapist: Psychology Today | SAMHSA Treatment Locator Verify Credentials: Check your state's professional licensing board website Connect With Us Have a topic you want us to cover? Questions about self-compassion or other mental health topics? We'd love to hear from you! * Submit topic ideas: ihavesh1t2say@gmail.com * Follow us: * Instagram: @ihavesh_ttosay * TikTok: IHaveSh_tToSay * YouTube: www.youtube.com/@ihavesh_ttosay * Rate & Review: Help others find the podcast by leaving a review Credits Podcast Host: Megan Campbell, LCPC, ATR-BC  Podcast Guest: Brittany Gregory  Podcast Executive Producer: Brian T Prairie  Podcast Operations Manager: MacKenzie Cloy New episodes drop every two weeks on Tuesday mornings at 5 am. Subscribe so you never miss an episode! Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're in crisis or need personalized support, please contact a licensed mental health professional.

IHSTS - Ep. 06 - When Your Brain Won't Shut the F*ck Up

Trigger Warning: This episode covers intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation, and mental health hospitalization. Please listen in a safe space. SHOW DESCRIPTION Intrusive thoughts. Suicidal ideation. Two terms that get thrown around — but most people don't know what they actually mean, how they differ, or what to do when they show up. Today Megan sits down with her longtime friend and fellow art therapist Brittany to have the conversation most people are too scared to start. They unpack what intrusive thoughts really are (hint: more common than you think), why suicidal ideation isn't the same as a plan, how the mental health system sometimes does more harm than good, and why shame is the thing that keeps people most stuck. This is a real, raw, honest conversation about the stuff that lives in the quiet corners of our minds — and why talking about it is the most powerful thing you can do. If you or someone you love has ever had a thought you were afraid to say out loud — this one is for you. KEY TIMESTAMPS [00:47] Trigger Warning & Introducing Guest Brittany [04:22] What Are Intrusive Thoughts — Really? [06:48] Intrusive Thoughts vs. Suicidal Ideation: What's the Difference? [09:56] Once the Door Opens: Neural Pathways & Why the Brain Goes Back [12:13] Suicidal Ideation as Control — When It Feels Like a Trap Door [15:22] How to Respond When Someone Shares These Thoughts [16:45] 988 & When to Call vs. When to Just Listen [20:16] Hospitalization: Helpful or a Policing System? [25:36] Forced Help & Patient Autonomy [28:05] Therapists Are Human Too — Brittany & Megan Get Personal [34:20] Common Humanity: You Are Not the Only One [37:15] Takeaways: Authenticity, Safety & Finding Your People STANDOUT QUOTES "Every thought doesn't need to be held or believed. It can just be — oh, that happened — and move on." "Shame grows in secret. You don't need to live with this in secrecy." "The more honest and authentic you are with yourself, the more you attract people who won't be outraged by your thoughts." THERAPIST'S TOOLKIT 3 Questions for When Your Brain Won't Quiet Down: 1. Is this thought something I'm choosing to act on, or is it just a thought passing through? 2. Do I have a safe person I can share this with — someone who will stay curious instead of afraid? 3. Am I riding the merry-go-round, or can I notice the thought and let it pass? RESOURCES 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — https://988lifeline.org/ Crisis Text Line — Text HOME to 741741 — https://www.crisistextline.org/ NAMI — National Alliance on Mental Illness — https://www.nami.org/ CRISIS SUPPORT 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text) Text HOME to 741741 — Crisis Text Line Find a Therapist: Psychology Today — https://www.psychologytoday.com/us Rise & Thrive Wellness — https://riseandthrivewellness.net/ CONNECT WITH US Have a topic you want us to cover? We'd love to hear from you! 📧 ihavesh1t2say@gmail.com 📱 @ihavesh_ttosay (Instagram) | IHaveSh_tToSay (TikTok) ▶️ www.youtube.com/@ihavesh_ttosay Rate & Review: Help others find the podcast by leaving a review CREDITS Host: Megan Campbell, LCPC, ATR-BC Guest: Brittany Greggory, ATR, LPC Producer: Brian T Prairie Operations Manager: MacKenzie Cloy New episodes every two weeks on Tuesdays at 5am. Subscribe so you never miss an episode! Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're in crisis or need personalized support, please contact a licensed mental health professional.

IHSTS - Ep. 05 - When the Storm Doesn't Stop

Episode 05: When the Storm Doesn't Stop Show Description When a tornado tore through their community, Megan and producer Brian didn't stick to the script — they pressed record anyway. This unplanned episode is a raw, honest conversation about what happens after the storm: the overwhelm, the decision fatigue, the coping mechanisms that aren't really working, and the mental health ripple effects that hit everyone, not just those who lost the most. Megan and Brian get real about their own not-so-great coping strategies (junk food, naps, and way too much caffeine), why your nervous system is actually doing its job when everything feels like too much, and how the Ring Theory of Support can help you figure out where you are, what you owe, and who you can actually vent to. Whether you lost everything, you're on the outer rings trying to help, or you're somewhere in the messy middle — this one's for you. Key Timestamps * [00:48] Intro: Why This Episode Exists * [03:52] Opening Question: What Coping Strategy Isn't Working for You Right Now? * [08:53] Megan's Honest Answer: Caffeine, No Water, and Skipping Showers * [10:42] Stress and the Body — Migraines, Brain Fog, and the Nervous System * [14:35] Social Media, Misinformation, and Overstimulation * [15:22] Are You Helping, or Centering Yourself in the Tragedy? * [18:10] The Problem with Too Many Volunteers * [21:32] Where Is Everyone Six Months Later? The Long Tail of Disaster * [27:02] Crisis Response vs. Trauma Processing * [28:30] Trauma vs. PTSD — An Important Distinction * [32:23] Ring Theory of Support Explained * [35:04] Comfort In, Dump Out — The Rule * [37:13] Are You Giving What They Need or What You'd Want? * [45:45] Ring Theory Beyond Disasters: Grief, Job Loss, Divorce, and More * [47:31] Your Nervous System Is Protecting You — Get Out of the Way of Healing * [51:39] Wrap-Up: Know Your Ring, Set Boundaries, Provide Comfort Standout Quotes * "Helping isn't helping if it's not helpful." * "Comfort flows in. Dumping flows out. That's the rule." * "Your nervous system is built to protect you. Sometimes we need to get out of the way of the healing." * "An intervention is only as good as the relationship." Therapist's Toolkit 3 Ring Theory Questions: 1. Where am I in the ring relative to the most affected person — and am I acting like it? 2. Am I providing comfort in, or accidentally dumping on someone who can't hold it? 3. Who in an outer ring can I vent to — so I can keep showing up for the people closer in? Resources * United Way of Northwest Illinois — Tornado Relief [https://www.unitednorthwest.org/] * Superior Embroidery [https://www.superiorembroidery.net/superior_embroidery_home/shop/home] * SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline — 1-800-985-5990 [https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/disaster-distress-helpline] * Rise & Thrive Wellness [https://riseandthrivewellness.net/] Crisis Support 988 - Suicide Prevention Lifeline Text HOME to 741741 - Crisis Text Line Find a Therapist: Psychology Today [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us] | SAMHSA Treatment Locator [https://findtreatment.gov/] Verify Credentials: Check your state's professional licensing board website Connect With Us Have a topic you want us to cover? Questions about community support or other mental health topics? We'd love to hear from you! * Submit topic ideas: ihavesh1t2say@gmail.com * Follow us: * Instagram: @ihavesh_ttosay * TikTok: IHaveSh_tToSay * YouTube: www.youtube.com/@ihavesh_ttosay * Rate & Review: Help others find the podcast by leaving a review Credits Podcast Host: Megan Campbell, LCPC, ATR-BC Podcast Executive Producer: Brian T Prairie Podcast Operations Manager: MacKenzie Cloy New episodes drop every two weeks on Tuesday mornings at 5am. Subscribe so you never miss an episode! Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're in crisis or need personalized support, please contact a licensed mental health professional.