Love & Infertility

The Disconnect You Didn't See Coming: Dr. Clay & Ginny Break Down Infertility's Toughest Dynamics

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area. This episode may contain topics that can be upsetting to some listeners including infertility and reproductive trauma, miscarriage and pregnancy loss, medical procedures (including IVF and IUI), childlessness, and mental health challenges. Have you ever felt a sudden disconnect from your partner? Not because your love changed, but because infertility hit you both differently? In this episode, Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka unpack the most common dynamics they see in couples navigating infertility and reproductive loss. From the partner who wants to stay positive while the other needs to grieve, to explosive disagreements about whether to pursue IVF, to the impossible question of whether to show up to holiday celebrations with the family, this episode covers it all.  Free Digital Download — Dr. Clay's Infertility & Mental Health Manual  [https://www.drclaybrigance.com/infertility-and-mental-health-manual] * Book Dr. Clay for speaking or training → https://www.drclaybrigance.com/trainings-for-mental-health-professionals [https://www.drclaybrigance.com/trainings-for-mental-health-professionals] * Therapy with Dr. Clay/ Shiloh Counseling → https://shilohcounselingllc.com/ [https://shilohcounselingllc.com/] * Learn more about the Four Pillars approach → lhttps://www.drclaybrigance.com/fourpillars  [http://www.drclaybrigance.com/fourpillars] Connect with Ginny Lupka →  https://linktr.ee/ginnylupkacounseling [https://linktr.ee/ginnylupkacounseling]

When Shame Becomes Anger: Dr. Clay & Ginny Recap Their Conversation with Emily Silva Hockstra on Infertility & Identity

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance, Ginny Lupka, and Emily Silva Hockstra and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area. This episode may contain topics that can be upsetting to some listeners including infertility and reproductive trauma, egg donation, miscarriage and pregnancy loss, medical procedures (including IVF and IUI), childlessness, and mental health challenges. Have you ever felt so ashamed that you pushed the person you love most completely away? In this recap episode, Dr. Clay and Ginny revisit their powerful conversation with Emily Silva Hockstra and unpack one of the most misunderstood dynamics in the infertility journey: how shame quietly disguises itself as anger, and what it costs couples who never learn to tell the difference. This episode is part therapy session, part honest conversation, and entirely for anyone who has ever felt like they were falling apart while trying to hold it together. Free Digital Download — Dr. Clay's Infertility & Mental Health Manual  [https://www.drclaybrigance.com/infertility-and-mental-health-manual] * Book Dr. Clay for speaking or training → https://www.drclaybrigance.com/trainings-for-mental-health-professionals [https://www.drclaybrigance.com/trainings-for-mental-health-professionals] * Therapy with Dr. Clay/ Shiloh Counseling → https://shilohcounselingllc.com/ [https://shilohcounselingllc.com/] * Learn more about the Four Pillars approach → lhttps://www.drclaybrigance.com/fourpillars  [http://www.drclaybrigance.com/fourpillars] * Connect with Ginny Lupka →  https://linktr.ee/ginnylupkacounseling [https://linktr.ee/ginnylupkacounseling] * Emily on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/soulsadventures/?hl=en] * Emily’s Website [https://soulsadventures.com/] * Emily’s substack [https://substack.com/@emilysilvahockstra] * Sunset Gratitude: 365 Hopeful Meditations for Peaceful and Reflective Evenings All Year Long [https://www.amazon.com/Sunset-Gratitude-Meditations-Peaceful-Reflective/dp/1577154282] by Emily Silva-Hockstra  * Moonlight Gratitude: 365 Nighttime Meditations for Deep, Tranquil Sleep All Year Long [https://www.amazon.com/Moonlight-Gratitude-Nighttime-Meditations-Tranquil/dp/1631062921/ref=books_amazonstores_desktop_mfs_aufs_ap_sc_dsk_1?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=7gbSb&content-id=amzn1.sym.6d92b4c0-97d6-4063-b66e-20890dfbd616&pf_rd_p=6d92b4c0-97d6-4063-b66e-20890dfbd616&pf_rd_r=145-9443091-3300059&pd_rd_wg=Zlkpz&pd_rd_r=1aaf33a0-2300-45b5-9c2c-1e3eea28063d] by Emily Silva-Hockstra  Sunrise Gratitude: 365 Morning Meditations for Joyful Days All Year Long [https://www.amazon.com/Sunrise-Gratitude-Morning-Meditations-Joyful-ebook/dp/B08GSRF2W6?ref_=ast_author_dp&th=1&psc=1] by Emily Silva-Hockstra

“Creation Is Always There": How Emily & Nate Found Joy, Creativity, and Each Other After Infertility

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance, Ginny Lupka, and Emily Hockstra and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area. This episode may contain topics that can be upsetting to some listeners including infertility and reproductive trauma, egg donation, miscarriage and pregnancy loss, medical procedures (including IVF and IUI), childlessness, and mental health challenges. Welcome to Episode 3 of Love & Infertility, the podcast created for couples navigating the emotional rollercoaster of infertility, IVF, IUI, miscarriage, and reproductive trauma together. In this episode, hosts and therapists Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka sit down with author, mindset coach, and speaker Emily Silva Hockstra to hear her deeply moving story of love, loss, and creation. Emily opens with a reading from her book Sunset Gratitude — a grounding meditation on hope and heartbreak — before sharing her story of marrying at 37, being diagnosed with Primary Ovarian Insufficiency (POI), and facing a 1% chance of natural conception. After exploring IVF, egg donation, and adoption, Emily and her husband Nate chose a childfree life. What followed was years of grief, therapy, shame, and anger… and ultimately, a marriage and a creative life more beautiful than either had imagined. What sets Emily and Nate apart is not just what they survived, but how they survived it. Emily's framework — redefining creation, releasing titles, and holding grief and joy at the same time — is both practical and profound. What You’ll Learn: (04:13) The egg donor decision — and why it wasn't right for Emily emotionally (06:26) Choosing a childfree life (10:13) Shame, DNA, and the grief of legacy  (17:15) Redefining creation: how writing became Emily's version of giving birth (20:39) Three years of grief journaling and how it led to Sunset Gratitude (29:23) When joy starts coming back, it can arrive with guilt and shame  (33:26) Holding grief and joy at the same time and why it doesn't need to make sense (37:18) Emily's message to couples: find a creative outlet, redefine life together, release the title Resources Mentioned: Emily’s Books: • Sunset Gratitude: 365 Hopeful Meditations for Peaceful and Reflective Evenings All Year Long [https://www.amazon.com/Sunset-Gratitude-Meditations-Peaceful-Reflective/dp/1577154282] by Emily Silva-Hockstra  • Moonlight Gratitude: 365 Nighttime Meditations for Deep, Tranquil Sleep All Year Long [https://www.amazon.com/Moonlight-Gratitude-Nighttime-Meditations-Tranquil/dp/1631062921/ref=books_amazonstores_desktop_mfs_aufs_ap_sc_dsk_1?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=7gbSb&content-id=amzn1.sym.6d92b4c0-97d6-4063-b66e-20890dfbd616&pf_rd_p=6d92b4c0-97d6-4063-b66e-20890dfbd616&pf_rd_r=145-9443091-3300059&pd_rd_wg=Zlkpz&pd_rd_r=1aaf33a0-2300-45b5-9c2c-1e3eea28063d] by Emily Silva-Hockstra  • Sunrise Gratitude: 365 Morning Meditations for Joyful Days All Year Long [https://www.amazon.com/Sunrise-Gratitude-Morning-Meditations-Joyful-ebook/dp/B08GSRF2W6?ref_=ast_author_dp&th=1&psc=1] by Emily Silva-Hockstra  • Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593189485/?bestFormat=true&k=wintering%20the%20power%20of%20rest%20and%20retreat&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-bk-ww_k0_1_13_de&crid=1MMR9N2VW7S53&sprefix=wintering%20the] by Katherine May  • RESOLVE: [https://resolve.org/] The National Infertility Association • Abby McHale [https://www.abbymchale.com/]  LET’S CONNECT: Emily Silva Hockstra * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/soulsadventures/?hl=en] * Website [https://soulsadventures.com/] Dr. Clay Brigance * Instagram: @dr_claybrigance [https://instagram.com/dr_claybrigance] * Website: www.drclaybrigance.com [http://www.drclaybrigance.com] Ginny Lupka * Instagram: @ginnylupkacounseling [https://instagram.com/ginnylupkacounseling] * Substack: "That's Our Time" [https://thatsourtime.substack.com/] Website: www.ginnylupkacounseling.com [http://www.ginnylupkacounseling.com]

A Recap of Justine & Chad Froelker on Infertility, Identity, & What It Really Means to Be a Team

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance, Ginny Lupka, Justine Froelker, and Chad Froelker and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area. This episode contains honest discussion of infertility treatment, embryo loss, pregnancy grief, and the emotional weight of ending a fertility journey without children.  In this recap episode, Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka reflect on their powerful conversation with Justine and Chad Froelker — a couple who navigated two rounds of IVF, a gestational surrogate, and three embryo losses before making the courageous decision to stop treatment and choose a childfree life together. This episode unpacks the themes and lessons that stood out most: what it looks like to truly be a team through infertility, how to hold grief without losing each other, and why the dream of becoming a parent doesn't have to cost you everything. Free Digital Download — Dr. Clay's Infertility & Mental Health Manual  [https://www.drclaybrigance.com/infertility-and-mental-health-manual] * Book Dr. Clay for speaking or training → https://www.drclaybrigance.com/trainings-for-mental-health-professionals [https://www.drclaybrigance.com/trainings-for-mental-health-professionals] * Therapy with Dr. Clay/ Shiloh Counseling → https://shilohcounselingllc.com/ [https://shilohcounselingllc.com/] * Learn more about the Four Pillars approach → lhttps://www.drclaybrigance.com/fourpillars  [http://www.drclaybrigance.com/fourpillars] * Connect with Ginny Lupka →  https://linktr.ee/ginnylupkacounseling [https://linktr.ee/ginnylupkacounseling] * Connect with Justine and Chad → https://justinefroelker.com/ [https://justinefroelker.com/] * Stress and coping in couples facing infertility - Pasch & Sullivan, 2017 [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28813283/]

The Couples Toolkit: Free Resources, Real Tools, and the One Communication Skill That Changes Everything

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance, and Ginny Lupka and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area. This episode contains honest discussion of infertility, pregnancy loss, grief, and the mental health impact of reproductive trauma. In this bonus episode, Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka go beyond the conversation and hand you an actual toolkit: a free downloadable mental health manual, a proven communication framework used in couples therapy, and an honest conversation about the guilt, grief, and boundaries that come with navigating infertility as a couple and within a family system. Whether you're in the two-week wait, processing a loss, or struggling to feel like a united front with your partner, this episode gives you tools you can use today. Free Digital Download — Dr. Clay's Infertility & Mental Health Manual  [https://www.drclaybrigance.com/infertility-and-mental-health-manual] * Book Dr. Clay for speaking or training → https://www.drclaybrigance.com/trainings-for-mental-health-professionals [https://www.drclaybrigance.com/trainings-for-mental-health-professionals] * Therapy with Dr. Clay/ Shiloh Counseling → https://shilohcounselingllc.com/ [https://shilohcounselingllc.com/] Learn more about the Four Pillars approach → lhttps://www.drclaybrigance.com/fourpillars  [http://www.drclaybrigance.com/fourpillars] * Connect with Ginny Lupka →  https://linktr.ee/ginnylupkacounseling [https://linktr.ee/ginnylupkacounseling]