Pathway to Recovery

The Seven Desires & Understanding Your Triggers w/ Debbie Laaser

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/fan_mail/new] Host Tara McCausland interviews Debbie Laaser about understanding and managing triggers after betrayal.  Laaser explains that distress from triggers is shaped by perceptions and encourages slowing down reactive fight-or-flight responses. Using her “seven desires” model (to be heard/understood, affirmed, blessed/loved unconditionally, safe, healthily touched, chosen, and included), she suggests identifying which unmet desires a trigger activates, noting that unmet needs intensify pain and that past experiences influence present reactions. She recommends journaling triggers with guided questions, offloading anger safely, and communicating practical needs rather than reacting. Laaser emphasizes wives are not responsible for husbands’ acting out behaviors, highlights post-traumatic growth, points listeners to seeking God to meet ultimate desires, and advises early professional help, community support, and a three-part recovery approach: his, hers, and eventually couples work after sobriety and truth-telling. Connect with Debbie at faithfulandtrue.com. [https://www.faithfulandtrue.com/] 00:00 Welcome and Topic Setup 01:57 Meet Debbie Laser 02:51 Triggers and Trauma 03:42 Why Triggers Hurt 07:14 Perception vs Truth 09:43 Seven Desires Framework 14:02 Restaurant Trigger Example 17:17 How Past Wounds Amplify Triggers 21:00 Working Through Triggers Process 27:36 Safe Anger Release 32:08 Needs and Boundaries 36:13 Daily Growth and God 43:42  Final Advice   Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/support] SA Lifeline Foundation [https://www.salifeline.org/] SAL 12 Step [https://sal12step.org/] Find an SAL12Step Meeting [https://sal12step.org/find-a-meeting/] Donate [https://salifeline.org/donate/] Contact to ask questions or make comments [https://salifeline.org/contact-us/] Transcripts [https://salifeline.org/podcast/]

Top Lines, Bottom Lines, Boundaries & Choosing Top Line Recovery w/ Jonathan L

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/fan_mail/new] Host Tara McCausland speaks with Pathway to Recovery co-host Jonathan L. Jonathan starts by sharing his adolescent internet porn exposure and how curiosity eventually led to  pornography addiction. He shares how his behavior intensified after his mother died when he was 14, and produced shame, compartmentalization, lying. After marriage, he disclosed to his wife, relapsed, hid again, and later experienced suicidal ideation.  This was followed by Divine help that came after a heartfelt prayer. He was soon after introduced to SAL 12-Step and has been working recovery since 2021. Tara and Jonathan define top lines, bottom lines, and boundaries, and discuss creative top-line practices to build trust, raise bottom lines (e.g., removing social media), and emphasize incremental progress, accountability, celebrating wins, and choosing recovery over addiction. 00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro 01:14 Podcast Milestones and Listener Shoutout 02:39  03:06 Early Exposure and Addiction Roots 04:41 Loss, Grief, and a Double Life 05:44 Mission, Marriage, and First Disclosure 08:50 Suicidal Ideation and Turning Point 10:35 Recovery Begins - Participating in SAL 12-Step and Therapy 13:35 Compassion for Younger Self 18:27 Defining Top Lines, Bottom Lines, Boundaries 21:54   22:44 Turning Alone Time into Trust Building Moments 24:05 Celebrating Progress 25:13  26:35 Sponsor Vision Exercise 27:06 Positive Recovery Mindset - Living by Top Lines 30:02 Weeds vs Flowers Reframe 30:36 Bottom Lines as Guardrails 31:17 Raising Bottom Lines  34:33 Addressing Overwhelm and Striving for 1% Better 37:44 Celebrate Wins Together 40:45 Intentional Recovery Work 42:22 Discipline Over Regret 43:38 Advice for New and the Tired Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/support] SA Lifeline Foundation [https://www.salifeline.org/] SAL 12 Step [https://sal12step.org/] Find an SAL12Step Meeting [https://sal12step.org/find-a-meeting/] Donate [https://salifeline.org/donate/] Contact to ask questions or make comments [https://salifeline.org/contact-us/] Transcripts [https://salifeline.org/podcast/]

Trauma 101: What It Is and How It Affects Both the Betrayed and Betrayer w/ Scott Stolarick

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/fan_mail/new] Host Tara McCausland interviews psychotherapist Scott Stolarick, who shares how his work in corrections and with  sex offenders led him to recognize trauma as a driver of maladaptive behavior and the need for both accountability and support rather than shame. They discuss common misconceptions about trauma, differences between recent and historical trauma, and how childhood coping strategies can become harmful in adult relationships. Scott emphasizes trauma’s personal nature, the importance of validating first disclosures, building safety and trust, careful history-taking, and thoughtful use of modalities like EMDR with informed consent, concluding with encouragement for those beginning or continuing recovery. 00:00 Conference Invitation 01:40 Meet the Host and Guest 03:49 Scott’s Background 04:43 Seeing Trauma in Sex Offenders 09:44 Myths About Trauma 13:05 Fresh vs Historical Trauma 14:19 Trauma for Addicts vs Partners 17:54 Childhood Maladaptive Coping Skills Brought into Adulthood 21:32 What Counts as Trauma 25:06 Building Resilience 28:33 Why Trauma Awareness Matters 31:17 Healing Order of Operations 35:54 Effective Trauma Modalities 37:25 Closing Advice for Recovery 38:36 Final Thanks and Wrap Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/support] SA Lifeline Foundation [https://www.salifeline.org/] SAL 12 Step [https://sal12step.org/] Find an SAL12Step Meeting [https://sal12step.org/find-a-meeting/] Donate [https://salifeline.org/donate/] Contact to ask questions or make comments [https://salifeline.org/contact-us/] Transcripts [https://salifeline.org/podcast/]

Finding Peace Through the Surrender Process w/ Heather B

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/fan_mail/new] Host Jonathan L.  interviews guest Heather B. about surrender as a key recovery principle. Heather shares formative experiences where prayer was her refuge amid family abuse and dysfunction, her brother’s fatal accident, and a first marriage marked by discoveries of multiple addictions that led to her choosing divorce. Heather describes healing trauma through therapy and shares how applying SAL’s three-step surrender process (“on the phone, on my knees, in the box”), has helped her learn to relinquish control and trust God, allowing her to find peace amidst many of life's challenges.   00:00 Conference Announcement 02:03 Meet the Host and Guest 02:40 Early Experiences with the Power of Prayer 05:15 First Marriage and Betrayal 08:03 Miracles and a New Path 09:28 Second Marriage Growth 12:37 Therapy and Trauma Healing 14:22 Learning the Surrender Process 16:38 What is Surrender? 19:17 Phone Knees Box Method 23:23 Letting Go of Outcomes 28:27 Regulating Big Emotions 30:40 Handling Intrusive Thoughts 32:30 Daily Spiritual Practice 35:33 Advice for Newcomers 37:22 Encouragement to Return 38:56 Closing Thanks and Wrap Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/support] SA Lifeline Foundation [https://www.salifeline.org/] SAL 12 Step [https://sal12step.org/] Find an SAL12Step Meeting [https://sal12step.org/find-a-meeting/] Donate [https://salifeline.org/donate/] Contact to ask questions or make comments [https://salifeline.org/contact-us/] Transcripts [https://salifeline.org/podcast/]

What To Do If a Dating Relationship is Affected by Pornography w/ Jill Manning

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/fan_mail/new] Host Tara McCausland welcomes Dr. Jill Manning for part two of a discussion on pornography and dating. This episode covers what to do when a dating relationship is already affected by pornography. Manning advises an immediate “slow down,” warning against the myth that marriage or sex will solve pornography or sexual addiction, and urges partners not to proceed toward engagement or marriage while addiction is active; she cites guidance that a year of sobriety and recovery work is ideally established first. They discuss avoiding codependent “fixing” by the non-using partner,  clarifying responsibility, and how marriage stress can escalate compulsive behavior. Manning describes recovery markers beyond abstinence—insight, humility, openness, honesty, transparency, firm boundaries, and emotional maturity—and notes compulsive sexual behavior often co-occurs with mental health issues. 00:00 Conference Announcement 01:19 Podcast Welcome 03:41 Slow Down First 08:46 Boundaries Not Fixing 11:16 Marriage Myth Debunked 19:33 Leverage Before Marriage 26:18 Mental Health Underneath 28:41 Signs of Real Recovery 36:03 Avoid Codependency 40:15 Hopeful Closing Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2171696/support] SA Lifeline Foundation [https://www.salifeline.org/] SAL 12 Step [https://sal12step.org/] Find an SAL12Step Meeting [https://sal12step.org/find-a-meeting/] Donate [https://salifeline.org/donate/] Contact to ask questions or make comments [https://salifeline.org/contact-us/] Transcripts [https://salifeline.org/podcast/]