Ep. 10: Defining "Normal" [The Four Letter Word]
Spoiler alert - normal doesn't exist. In the first 10 minutes of this episode, join us for a little pregame if you will, with my dad talking me through IF my own pendulum swings in my personal development journey are healthy or "normal" (going from performer to largely hiding away) as I've become aware of my inner child and family origins. From there we discuss the differences between me and a friend of mine who has similar childhood needs with a different coping mechanism (crying vs. performing) and comparing our "normals". With a very physical, somatic reaction like crying, my personal curiosity is, like my ability to "turn off" my performative side, will someone with a more physical, seemingly "uncontrollable" reaction like crying, be able to "turn it off" like I did? Should they even want to? This leads us to the question of "is this normal" for a family. Dad leads us into a conversation about how to define a family's function and what questions to ask to discover if a family is "doing what it is supposed to do" rather than "is it normal"?There's quite a lot of chapters in this discussion and while they're all different they're all so connected. Whichever part you end up connecting with, we hope it's helpful.As always, Help finding a therapist - Psychology Today:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us (click on "Find a Therapist" at the top of the page.)Many therapists are now offering insurance-covered virtual sessions, and there are many services that will help you connect specifically with an online-therapist, which is an amazing option:https://www.betterhelp.com/start/If you're new to therapy - please know that sometimes it can take a while to find a good fit in a therapist. Therapist shopping can be super rough, but it's worth the effort. If your first meeting isn't ideal, or makes you uncomfortable, don't be discouraged. You don't have to go back - just make an appointment with someone else, and keep going until you find the right fit. It's so worth it. You can also talk to spiritual leaders & trusted friends for local therapist recommendations.---Chapters:00:35 Rebekah's question about pendulum swinging from attention-seeking performer to hermit(ish)09:00 When a childhood coping mechanism is held in the body and reactions are seemingly uncontrollable, like crying, will you see the same ability to "turn off" reactions like this that are so deeply engrained in the body? 12:03 What makes a family "normal"? The answer is that THAT'S the wrong question. What is a family's FUNCTION? We can define that. (Meeting family member's needs: maintenance, nurturance, and guidance...) 29:52 Quick reminder that EVERYONE HAS BAGGAGE.37:35 Chiropractor Metaphor for the sloooooow process of personal change44:07 Quick Summary45:36 You're not crazy. :) 46:11 Comparison; the places to use it and the places to NOT use it. :) ------Intro Music: Staying Positive by spinningmerkaba (c) copyright 2019 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/jlbrock44/59438 Ft: greg_baumontOuttro Music: gravitationalWaves by airtone (c) copyright 2016 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/airtone/55021
