Startup Spouses

Your Marriage Has a 90% Chance of Failing If You Do This

What if you could predict whether your relationship would last — with 90% accuracy? The Gottman Institute can. In this episode of Startup Spouses, Marie (relationship & intimacy coach) and Adam (business coach) break down the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse — four destructive communication patterns that, left unchecked, can destroy your relationship and your business partnership. Whether you're navigating a marriage, a family business, or both, understanding these patterns is the first step to building the kind of communication that creates a truly mind-blowing relationship. Show Notes: What We Cover: 🐴 Horseman #1 — Criticism Going beyond feedback into shame and passive aggression. Learn why shaming never changes behavior — and what to say instead. 🐴 Horseman #2 — Contempt The most dangerous horseman. Superiority, sarcasm used as a weapon, eye-rolling, and the toxic "should haves." The antidote? Gratitude and dropping expectations. 🐴 Horseman #3 — Defensiveness When burnout and ego collide, defensiveness shuts down real connection — even in the bedroom. Learn how curiosity and vulnerability create safety instead. 🐴 Horseman #4 — Stonewalling The silent treatment. Checking out. The point where a relationship may be beyond repair without outside help. Recognize it early. Key Takeaways: * Shame does not change behavior — curiosity does * Lead with "I" statements and concern, not criticism * Drop the "shoulds" — comparison is a relationship killer * Put your ego aside and communicate, especially in intimacy * Accountability can't be forced — create an environment where it thrives * Both partners have to want it for a relationship to be repaired Resources Mentioned: * The Gottman Institute — gottman.com * Download our Weekly Spousal Meeting Agenda (link in show notes) Connect with Startup Spouses: * Subscribe, leave a review, and share with a friend!

Burnout Is Silently Destroying Your Marriage

In this episode of Startup Spouses, Marie Intimacy coach) and Adam (business coach) get real about burnout: what it looks like, how it sneaks up on you, and why hustle culture is conditioning an entire generation — including our kids — to run on empty. Drawing from their own experiences with sobriety, family business near-bankruptcy, a daughter's eating disorder, and a global pandemic all hitting at once, they share the mindset shifts and practical tools that helped them rebuild their capacity — and their marriage. You'll hear about: * Why "giving 110%" is actually a red flag — and what to say instead * The 80% Rule: how training for Ironman Triathlon taught Adam a better way to work, live, and lead * How burnout shows up in your body before your brain catches on * Simple embodiment practices to reconnect with yourself under stress * Why your intimacy life is the first casualty of chronic burnout — and how to protect it * The power of scheduling connection (yes, including sex) to keep your relationship from becoming a roommate situation Episode: Burnout Startup Spouses — helping entrepreneurial couples go from mediocre to mind-blowing In this episode: * [Intro] Marie & Adam introduce the topic of burnout and its connection to hustle culture * Adam's personal burnout story: panic attacks in college, over-functioning in the family business, and even "recovery burnout" in sobriety * Marie's burnout story: working restaurant shifts without breaks, young kids + undiagnosed ADHD, panic attacks driving to work * How burnout nearly destroyed their marriage when business insolvency, COVID, a daughter's eating disorder, and a move all hit in the same two months * The 80% Rule — the Maffetone Method, heart rate training, and how building capacity at 80% makes your 80% better than everyone else's 110% * Signs of burnout: weight changes, heart palpitations, nervous system dysregulation, loss of libido, anger, disconnection * Embodiment tools: breathwork, body check-ins, placing a hand on your chest, gratitude practice as a gateway to mindfulness * Why scheduling intimacy isn't unromantic — it's essential * Understanding responsive vs. spontaneous desire and what your partner actually needs to feel connected * How prioritizing your relationship fuels everything else in your life and business Resources mentioned: * Weekly Spouse Meeting Framework (download in show notes) * The Maffetone Method (heart rate-based training) If you enjoyed this episode: * Share it with a friend who needs to hear it * Leave a 5-star review * Subscribe so you never miss an episode "Let's build mind-blowing relationships with our spouses so we can build great businesses." Show Notes

Your Body Image is slowly Killing Your Marriage

Episode Description: Body image isn't just a women's issue — and it's not just about how you look. In this episode of Startup Spouses, Marie and Adam get honest about their personal journeys with body image, eating disorders, and the cultural pressures that shape how we see ourselves. Marie shares her experience being put on a diet at 12 years old, navigating body dysmorphia through perimenopause, and how open conversations with Adam became a turning point for her confidence and sexuality. Adam reflects on the silent struggles men face with body image, and together they discuss their family's real-life battle with severe eating disorders — and why this epidemic doesn't get nearly enough attention or resources.  This is a candid, compassionate conversation about letting go of impossible ideals, embracing your body as it is, and how confidence in yourself shows up in your relationship, your sex life, and your business.  ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses eating disorders, body image, and related mental health topics.  Show Notes: In this episode, Marie and Adam discuss:  * Why body image is a topic that affects men and women equally  * Marie's story: being put on a diet at age 12 and the long road to body confidence  * The "calories in, calories out" myth — and why our bodies are smarter than that  * How diet culture and the obesity industry have overshadowed the eating disorder epidemic Eating disorders as one of the highest-mortality mental illnesses — and why we don't talk about it enough  * Body dysmorphia: how we see ourselves vs. how our partners see us *  How open, honest conversations about intimacy and desire helped Marie reclaim her sexiness The power of embodiment — feeling sexy in your whole body, not just your head *  Their family's experience with a daughter battling severe anorexia and bulimia, and the lack of support for parents *  Practical tips: better lighting, professional photography, and ditching the mirror *  How weight training and martial arts shifted their relationship with exercise from punishment to celebration  * Why making your spouse feel sexy is one of the most important investments in your relationship  * Resources Mentioned: TADAM Photography (Denver, CO) — also featured in the Netflix show How to Build a Sex Room Connect with Marie & Adam: If you or someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder or body image issues, reach out to Marie directly — she can point you toward resources and support. If you enjoyed this episode

3 Frameworks That Exposed Every Flaw In Our Relationship

Show Notes: Ever feel like you're speaking a completely different language than your partner? In this episode of Startup Spouses, Marie (relationship & sex coach) and Adam (business coach) dive into three powerful frameworks that have transformed their own relationship — and can do the same for yours.They break down:The 5 Love Languages — why you might be showing love in a way your partner doesn't receive, and how to bridge that gapAttachment Styles — anxious, avoidant, secure, and disorganized, and how they show up in both your relationship and your business partnershipThe Enneagram — a deep-dive personality tool that helps you understand why you and your partner operate the way you do (Marie is a 2, Adam is a 3!)Marie and Adam get real about their own struggles — from feeling unloved despite trying hard, to avoidance patterns that crept into their relationship. This episode is a great starting point for couples who want to have safer, more vulnerable conversations without diving straight into the deep end.🔗 Download the free weekly meeting workbook to start having these conversations in just 20 minutes a week — link in the show notes.If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a fellow entrepreneurial couple, and don't forget to like and subscribe!

You're Building Legacy Wrong!

Episode Description: Legacy. It's one of the most loaded words in entrepreneurship — and one of the most misunderstood. In this episode of Startup Spouses, Marie and Adam Hill get real about what legacy actually means for entrepreneurial couples, why the traditional model is broken, and how to stop building a legacy about you and start building one for them. Drawing on Adam's firsthand experience as a fourth-generation family business leader — and the trauma, obligation, and identity crisis that came with it — this conversation will challenge everything you think you know about passing something on. Show Notes: Episode: Legacy — From Preservation to Preparation Startup Spouses | Helping entrepreneurial couples take their relationship from mediocre to mind-blowing In this episode, Marie and Adam cover: * Why 60% of family businesses don't survive to the second generation — and 90% don't make it to the third * The difference between legacy as preservation vs. legacy as preparation * How Adam's fourth-generation family business shaped (and burdened) his identity * Why estate planning and tax strategy are NOT a legacy * The danger of tying your family's entire identity to a single business * How "sacred cows" silently destroy multi-generational companies * Why legacy, at its core, is really about control — and what to do about it * How to have values conversations with your kids starting as young as 8 or 9 * Using your business as a vehicle for the next generation — not an obligation * The "shirt sleeves to shirt sleeves in three generations" phenomenon Key Takeaway: Stop trying to preserve what you've built. Start preparing the next generation to create their own value — on their own terms.