The Gaslight Effect Podcast

When A Parent You Love Keeps Lying To You: Francesca Fontana on The Family Snitch

What happens when a parent keeps lying, and the whole family teaches you not to ask too many questions? In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern sits down with journalist and author Francesca Fontana [https://www.francescamariefontana.com/] to explore what happens when the stories you inherit about your family, and yourself, begin to unravel. Francesca's new memoir, The Family Snitch [https://www.francescamariefontana.com/the-family-snitch], traces her lifelong search to understand her father: a larger-than-life, mostly absent presence in her childhood who became even more mysterious when he went to federal prison. With few answers and a clear message to keep family matters "private," Francesca grew up with gaps, contradictions, and unreliable narratives, learning early that her father's promises often didn't match reality. As she got older, she stopped taking his words at face value, but the deeper questions didn't go away: Who was he really? Why did he lie? And what does it mean to love someone you can't trust? When Francesca becomes a reporter, she returns to the mystery with a new toolset, determined to follow the facts and reclaim her reality. But the investigation becomes more than a story. It becomes an emotional reckoning with hope, shame, self-doubt, and the painful pull of wanting a parent to choose honesty. Along the way, she confronts the hardest possibility: that the person she's searching for may not want to be known, and that choosing her own life might require closing the door she kept open for so long. Robin and Francesca talk about the psychological toll of living inside uncertainty, the seductive nature of "maybe this time," and the courage it takes to grieve not only a relationship, but the hope of one. They also discuss how writing the book helped Francesca integrate her past, build trust in her own perceptions, and step out of the "disease of doubt" into something steadier: agency, clarity, and self-respect. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com [https://robinstern.com/podcast/podcast-player/]. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ [https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/] Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ [https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/] Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern [https://twitter.com/RobinSStern] LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a [https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a] Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

What School Boards Teach Us About Civil Discourse with Scott Levy

In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern continues the limited series Conversations at the Edge, exploring what it takes to stay grounded, curious, and connected when conversations move into charged, uncertain, or deeply divided territory. Robin's guest is Scott Levy, author of Why School Boards Matter, a four-time elected public school board member in Westchester County, former president of a regional school boards association, and former Executive Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. Together, they shine a light on a part of American democracy most people rarely think about - local school boards - and why these often overlooked institutions may be one of our best hopes for rebuilding civic trust. Scott explains how school boards create a rare public space where neighbors with real disagreements have to show up, speak openly, and make decisions in the same room, eye to eye, not from behind screens. Robin and Scott discuss the public comment process, why controversial issues can intensify in the age of viral clips, and what helps communities avoid turning disagreement into dehumanization. They also explore "initiative fatigue" in schools, how too many competing mandates can overwhelm educators, and why thoughtful prioritization and better governance matter for teacher retention and student outcomes. The conversation closes with hope: what Scott sees in students, what in-person civic process still makes possible, and why strengthening local institutions, rather than pulling all power upward, may be essential if we want a healthier, more functional democracy. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com [https://robinstern.com/podcast/podcast-player/]. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ [https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/] Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ [https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/] Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern [https://twitter.com/RobinSStern] LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a [https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a] Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

Debate, Respect, And The Work of Questioning Mindfulness with Mo Edjlali

In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast—part of our limited series Conversations at the Edge—Dr. Robin Stern sits down with Mo Edjlali [https://www.mindfulleader.org/], founder of The Mindful Leader and author of OpenMBSR: Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction—Reimagining the Future of Mindfulness [https://www.mindfulleader.org/mbsr-training], for an honest conversation about what it takes to stay awake, ethical, and human in high-pressure environments. Mo shares his personal turning point: a rapid rise as a high-achieving entrepreneur, the leadership persona he adopted to succeed, and the painful crash that forced him to ask, "What is this all for?" From there, he traces how mindfulness, through intensive practice and deep inquiry, changed not only his stress level, but his perception of reality itself, and ultimately reshaped how he thinks about leadership. Together, Robin and Mo explore why meaningful growth often happens "at the edge," and why real progress sometimes requires the courage to challenge the culture of mindfulness from the inside, through debate, rigor, and a willingness to name uncomfortable truths. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com [https://robinstern.com/podcast/podcast-player/]. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ [https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/] Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ [https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/] Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern [https://twitter.com/RobinSStern] LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a [https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a] Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

What Young People Wish Adults Understood: Pierce Harris on Dialogue, Dignity, and Voice

In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern continues the limited series Conversations at the Edge—a space for staying grounded, curious, and connected when conversations move into charged, uncertain, or deeply divided territory. Inspired by Robin's ongoing dialogue with her dear friend Lynn Redleaf, the series is rooted in dignity and respect, and in the belief that making space for another person's ideas doesn't require agreement - it requires a willingness to understand without erasing, attacking, or diminishing the other. Robin is joined by Pierce Harris, a young peace builder who is already doing the work many adults avoid. Pierce is a senior at Ransom Everglades School and a rising freshman at Harvard College, with a deep commitment to dialogue, history, and global affairs. From leading student initiatives that bring peers together across political and cultural divides, to engaging with peacebuilding efforts beyond campus - including Seeds of Peace [https://www.seedsofpeace.org/] and work connected to SDG 16 [https://sdgs.un.org/] (peace, justice, and strong institutions) - Pierce brings a rare combination of intellectual rigor, moral clarity, and relational maturity. Together, Robin and Pierce explore what helps difficult conversations actually work: psychological safety, unspoken rules of dialogue, curiosity, and the willingness to hold multiple truths at once. Pierce shares how his family dinner table shaped his comfort with disagreement, what Seeds of Peace taught him about emotional intensity and human connection, and a defining moment when a hard disagreement didn't break a friendship, because the relationship mattered more than being right. Robin and Pierce also talk about moral distress and moral injury, what to do when the world feels out of alignment with your values, and how young people can protect their hearts without turning away from civic responsibility. Pierce closes with a call for dignity rooted in the simple truth that every human being deserves respect, and an invitation to both generations: for young people to step forward with courage, and for adults to take them seriously, listen deeply, and help create the conditions where their voices can be heard. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com [https://robinstern.com/podcast/podcast-player/]. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ [https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/] Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ [https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/] Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern [https://twitter.com/RobinSStern] LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a [https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a] Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

Why Some Conversations Shut Down: Anne Snyder on Dignity, Curiosity, and Real Listening

In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern continues the limited series Conversations at the Edge—a space for staying grounded, curious, and connected when conversations move into charged, uncertain, or deeply divided territory. Inspired by Robin's ongoing dialogue with her dear friend Lynn Redleaf, the series is rooted in dignity, respect, and the belief that making space for another person's ideas doesn't require agreement. It requires a willingness to understand without erasing, attacking, or diminishing the other. Robin is joined by Anne Snyder [https://annesnyder.org/about/], Editor-in-Chief of Comment Magazine [https://comment.org/], whose work centers on building spaces for meaningful conversation and genuine engagement across difference. Anne shares how a cross-cultural upbringing—shaped by life in Hong Kong, Australia, and a family story rooted in translation and deep listening—formed her lifelong fascination with how people come to believe what they believe, and what it takes to honor the dignity of every human being across lines of status, worldview, and identity. Together, Robin and Anne explore why so many conversations shut down today, especially in a digital culture that rewards speed, certainty, and contempt. They talk about the emotional experience of polarization—how isolation and threat responses can make us defensive, reactive, and quick to reduce people to labels—and what helps us stay cohesive enough to remain curious. Anne reflects on the practices that build resilience for "edge" conversations, including embodied community, ritual, place-based relationships, and the slow work of friendship that restores context and humanity. Anne also shares the editorial vision behind Comment—a publication committed to pluralism and good-faith engagement—and previews a new three-day festival at the National Cathedral designed to spotlight bridge builders across the social and political spectrum and offer a different, more human vocabulary for the common good. This episode is an invitation to return to the essentials: real relationship, real listening, and the courage to "live the questions" long enough for wisdom, and connection, to emerge. To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com [https://robinstern.com/podcast/podcast-player/]. Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone. Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/ [https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/] Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/ [https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/] Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern [https://twitter.com/RobinSStern] LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a [https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a] Dr. Robin Stern's Books: The Gaslight Effect [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders [https://robinstern.com/about-robin-stern/dr-robin-sterns-books/] Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.