Below The Circle

143. What Grief Have You Been Carrying That’s Been Disguised as Strength?

What grief have you been carrying that you’ve been calling strength? You’ve been busy, capable, dependable, and strong for so long that no one may have noticed how heavy it has become. Maybe even you forgot to ask what pain has been hiding underneath every yes, every role, every title, and every “I’m fine.” In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares a tender story of disappointment, loss, and the moment she realized she was not simply being strong. She was grieving. Through Psalm 23 and 1 Peter 5:7, she invites you to stop performing strength, bring your grief into the light, and ask God for the next step, not the whole plan. You are allowed to set it down. This week’s reflection: What grief have I been carrying that I’ve been calling strength? 1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” Psalm 23:4 “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me…” In this episode / links: • The grief hidden inside strength • A personal leadership wound Dr. Phyllis rarely shared • Why busyness, caregiving, and resilience can hide pain • The Landing Lounge waitlist: thebelowthecircle.com If something in you went quiet and true while you listened today, you don’t have to do this next part alone. The Landing Lounge is a sanctuary for women who are ready to stop performing and come home to themselves. It opens its doors later this year. Tell the tower you’re coming in — reserve your seat at thebelowthecircle.com. When the doors open, you’ll be among the first ones in. New episodes every week. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Below the Circle™ with Dr. Phyllis Hayes-Reams Stop circling. Start landing. It’s not too late to land — whole, aligned, free.

142. If You Stripped Away Every Role You Play, Who Is the Woman Underneath?

Who are you when you take off every name tag you wear? You’ve been so many things to so many people for so long, the woman underneath has gotten quiet. You can’t remember the last time someone asked who you were — not what you do, not who you take care of, not what role you fill — but who you ARE. In this episode, Dr. Phyllis sits with you at a threshold she’s stood at herself. She tells you the story of the chair in her living room — the moment everything stripped away — and the verse from Luke that gave it language. This isn’t an episode you listen to in the background. You are allowed to wonder who she is. This week’s reflection: Who are you when no one needs anything from you — when every name tag is set down? Luke 15:17 “And when he came to himself…” In this episode / links: • Your Clearance to Land — a private welcome video from Dr. Phyllis: thebelowthecircle.com • The Landing Lounge waitlist: thebelowthecircle.com If something in you went quiet and true while you listened today, you don’t have to do this next part alone. The Landing Lounge is a sanctuary for women who are ready to stop performing and come home to themselves. It opens its doors later this year. Tell the tower you’re coming in — reserve your seat at thebelowthecircle.com. When the doors open, you’ll be among the first ones in. New episodes every week. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Below the Circle™ with Dr. Phyllis Hayes-Reams Stop circling. Start landing. It’s not too late to land — whole, aligned, free.

141. When Was the Last Time You Were Fully in The Moment?

When was the last time you were truly present, not planning tomorrow or replaying yesterday? In this heartfelt episode of Below the Circle, Dr. Phyllis invites you to slow down, breathe, and notice where your mind has been living. Through personal stories, scripture, and honest coaching truth, she shares how autopilot can quietly steal our peace, our joy, and the moments happening right in front of us. Using Psalm 118:24, Dr. Phyllis reminds us that today is the day God has made, and presence is not something you have to earn. It is a practice you can begin again, one breath and one moment at a time. Episode highlights: (2:40) Welcome to episode 141 and the 52-week descent (5:48) Today’s core question: when were you fully in a moment? (7:14) The painful cost of living on autopilot (9:40) Dr. Phyllis shares her personal story of missing moments (15:16) Psalm 118:24 and the gift of today (18:01) Presence is a muscle that can be rebuilt (23:25) Three reflection questions for the week (26:05) One simple practice to begin being present (26:44) Preview of episode 142 (28:23) Invitation to the Landing Lounge (30:25) Encouragement to share the episode with another woman Connect with Dr. Phyllis: http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ [http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ ]https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ [https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ ]https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams [https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams]

140. Are You Exhausted From Your Life or From Pretending Your Life Isn’t Exhausting?

What if the exhaustion you feel is not weakness, but a warning signal asking you to be honest? In this heartfelt episode of Below the Circle, host Dr. Phyllis speaks to high-achieving women who look fine on the outside but feel empty, numb, and worn down inside. She shares the difference between normal tiredness and deep depletion, reminding listeners that constant pretending can cost them joy, peace, connection, and even a clear sense of self. Through her own story from 2019, Dr. Phyllis opens up about 1overcommitment, guilt, burnout, and the moment she realized something had to change. This episode is a caring call to stop performing, tell the truth, and take the first step toward landing in what matters most. Episode highlights: (0:28) The honest question behind “I’m fine.” (2:31) The difference between tired and depleted (3:49) Exhaustion is not weakness; it is a signal (5:13) The hidden cost of pretending you are fine (6:46) Dr. Phyllis shares her 2019 depletion story (13:07) The first change needed is honesty (14:37) Honesty is the runway for landing (15:17) Permission to stop pretending (16:18) Preview of next week’s episode on presence Connect with Dr. Phyllis: http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ [http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ ]https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ [https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ ]https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams [https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams]

139. Are You Chasing Something or Running from Something

Are you chasing success, or are you running from the pain you have not named? In this honest and deeply personal episode of Below the Circle, Dr. Phyllis invites you to look at the “buffet” of life, where titles, roles, achievements, and endless yeses can start to feel like proof that you are enough. Through her own story of high achievement, imposter syndrome, betrayal, leadership pressure, COVID-era stress, and a hard landing with God’s help, she shows why the next title will never heal an old wound. This episode is a loving call to stop piling your plate, stop circling above your hurt, and ask one brave question: What am I running from? Peace, joy, and real rest begin when you choose to land. Episode highlights: (0:00) Chasing achievement to feel enough (2:11) The life-changing question: Are you chasing or running? (4:08) Fulfillment, validation, permission, and labels (10:10) Dr. Phyllis shares her personal story (17:49) Medical school, imposter syndrome, and hard seasons (20:13) Workplace betrayal and reopening old wounds (25:56) Leadership, COVID, scleroderma, and burnout (28:19) God’s hard landing and the wake-up call (31:57) Why the chase will never heal the hurt (35:41) The question to sit with this week (37:18) Episode 140 teaser Connect with Dr. Phyllis: http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams