The Usual Place

S1E97: Is modern dating in Singapore broken?

A recent Straits Times survey of 1,000 unmarried people explained why the dating scene is so bleak: it’s hard to meet new people, dating can be expensive and there are unrealistic expectations of love and relationships. In this episode, Natasha chats with: • Liu Zhiqun, co-founder of Kopi Date, a dating platform that curates one-on-one coffee dates, and • Dr Kenneth Tan, an assistant professor of psychology at Singapore Management University, who studies relationships from end-to-end - that is from singlehood to why relationships end. Highlights (click/tap above): 1:53 Has dating become harder? 5:29 21 years old, no dating experience 10:10 The ‘perfect partner’ problem 11:33 Has social media warped our idea of romance 14:21 Dating 101: teaching rejection in schools? 18:29 Why people don’t bring their best self on dates 21:46 “Why do I have to work for love as well?” 27:15 Is school the best place to look for love? 31:20 Fear of being alone leads to settling 32:34 Red flags, icks: are they just excuses? 36:25 Old-school gender rules in a modern dating world 41:52 Can the Government fix our love lives? Host: Natasha Ann Zachariah (natashaz@sph.com.sg [natashaz@sph.com.sg]) Read Natasha’s articles: https://str.sg/iSXm [https://str.sg/iSXm] Follow The Usual Place podcast on IG: https://str.sg/8KNT [https://str.sg/8KNT] Follow Natasha on LinkedIn: https://str.sg/v6DN [https://str.sg/v6DN] Filmed by: Studio+65 Edited by: Eden Soh & Natasha Liew Executive producer: Danson Cheong Producers: Natasha Ann Zachariah and Elizabeth Law Follow The Usual Place Podcast and get notified for new episode drops every Thursday: Channel: https://str.sg/5nfm?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/5nfm [https://str.sg/5nfm?ref=inline-article] Apple Podcasts: https://str.sg/9ijX?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/9ijX [https://str.sg/9ijX?ref=inline-article] Spotify: https://str.sg/cd2P?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/cd2P [https://str.sg/cd2P?ref=inline-article] YouTube: https://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast [https://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast?ref=inline-article] Feedback to: podcast@sph.com.sg?ref=inline-articlepodcast@sph.com.sg [podcast@sph.com.sg?ref=inline-article] --- Follow more ST podcast channels: All-in-one ST Podcasts channel: https://str.sg/wvz7?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/wvz7 [https://str.sg/wvz7?ref=inline-article] Get more updates: http://str.sg/stpodcasts?ref=inline-articlehttp://str.sg/stpodcasts [http://str.sg/stpodcasts?ref=inline-article] --- Get The Straits Times app, which has a dedicated podcast player section: The App Store: https://str.sg/icyB?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/icyB [https://str.sg/icyB?ref=inline-article] Google Play: https://str.sg/icyX [https://str.sg/icyX] -- #tup #tuptrf See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

S1E97: Hands-on dads look great because the bar is low: Singapore father on unfair parenting expectations

Do fathers in Singapore get a bad reputation for being hands-off? Minister in the Prime Minister’s Office Indranee Rajah, who chairs the new Marriage and Parenthood Reset Workgroup, drew some flak for speaking about career “detours” as something that should be normalised for mothers - with little mention of a fathers’ role in the parenting journey. Why do we frame the parenting experience as mainly a woman’s role? In this episode of the podcast, I put that question to two fathers: new stay-at-home dad Jeggan Rajendram and Kevin Goh, the Group Head of engagement and programmes at the Centre for Fathering. We discuss who dads benchmark themselves to and whether mothers are preventing fathers from being more hands on. Highlights (click/tap above): 2:05 Are fathers missing from the parenting conversation? 3:30 “Regret minimisation”: Jeggan’s decision to be a stay-at-home dad 7:10 “People still look at me like I was crazy.” 11:27 Mums get a ‘head start’ on parenting 15:08 What’s holding fathers back from being more hands-on? 17:20 Mums, please involve dads, and let go 21:20 Whose standard is the right one? 24:05 The loss of identity as a stay-at-home parent 30:30 Being the stay-at-home parent doesn’t have to be forever 33:27 Encouraging dads to be more active parents 37:11 When dad’s your personal hairstylist 40:08 Will we have more babies if dads and mums are equals? Host: Natasha Ann Zachariah (natashaz@sph.com.sg [natashaz@sph.com.sg]) Read Natasha’s articles: https://str.sg/iSXm [https://str.sg/iSXm] Follow The Usual Place podcast on IG: https://str.sg/8KNT [https://str.sg/8KNT] Follow Natasha on LinkedIn: https://str.sg/v6DN [https://str.sg/v6DN] Filmed by: Studio+65 Edited by: Eden Soh & Hadyu Rahim Executive producer: Danson Cheong Producers: Natasha Ann Zachariah and Elizabeth Law Assistant producer: Stacey Ngiam Follow The Usual Place Podcast and get notified for new episode drops every Thursday: Channel: https://str.sg/5nfm?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/5nfm [https://str.sg/5nfm?ref=inline-article] Apple Podcasts: https://str.sg/9ijX?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/9ijX [https://str.sg/9ijX?ref=inline-article] Spotify: https://str.sg/cd2P?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/cd2P [https://str.sg/cd2P?ref=inline-article] YouTube: https://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast [https://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast?ref=inline-article] Feedback to: podcast@sph.com.sg?ref=inline-articlepodcast@sph.com.sg [podcast@sph.com.sg?ref=inline-article] --- Follow more ST podcast channels: All-in-one ST Podcasts channel: https://str.sg/wvz7?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/wvz7 [https://str.sg/wvz7?ref=inline-article] Get more updates: http://str.sg/stpodcasts?ref=inline-articlehttp://str.sg/stpodcasts [http://str.sg/stpodcasts?ref=inline-article] --- Get The Straits Times app, which has a dedicated podcast player section: The App Store: https://str.sg/icyB?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/icyB [https://str.sg/icyB?ref=inline-article] Google Play: https://str.sg/icyX [https://str.sg/icyX] -- #tup #tuptrf See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

S1E96: Singapore forensic psychologist explains why voyeurs and molesters commit crimes

Will a new bystander campaign by the police get more people to speak up for victims for molest and voyeurism? In this episode of The Usual Place, I chat with Ms Lim Shoon Yin, the executive director of Singapore women’s rights group Aware, about what holds bystanders back and what they can do. Also on the podcast is Dr Julia Lam, a forensic psychologist, who assesses people who have committed offences like sexual crimes. She studies impulse control disorder and behavioural addiction, among other areas. She explains why perpetrators cross the line and act on urges, despite knowing it’s a crime. Highlights (click/tap above): 1:51 Are more people reporting sexual assault? 4:20 Why do bystanders freeze? 6:01 Could you become a molester or voyeur? 9:15 Why perpetrators choose to cross the line 10:36 Why take the risk of getting caught in public? 13:42 How bystanders can safely intervene, if unsure 17:33 Perpetrators not deterred by warning announcements, posters 20:22 Do conservative societal attitudes contribute to such behaviour? 26:02 What victims need when they report harassment Host: Natasha Ann Zachariah (natashaz@sph.com.sg [natashaz@sph.com.sg]) Read Natasha’s articles: https://str.sg/iSXm [https://str.sg/iSXm] Follow The Usual Place podcast on IG: https://str.sg/8KNT [https://str.sg/8KNT] Follow Natasha on LinkedIn: https://str.sg/v6DN [https://str.sg/v6DN] Filmed by: Studio+65 Edited by: Eden Soh, Hadyu Rahim & Amirul Karim Executive producer: Danson Cheong Producers: Natasha Ann Zachariah and Elizabeth Law Assistant producer: Stacey Ngiam Follow The Usual Place Podcast and get notified for new episode drops every Thursday: Channel: https://str.sg/5nfm?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/5nfm [https://str.sg/5nfm?ref=inline-article] Apple Podcasts: https://str.sg/9ijX?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/9ijX [https://str.sg/9ijX?ref=inline-article] Spotify: https://str.sg/cd2P?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/cd2P [https://str.sg/cd2P?ref=inline-article] YouTube: https://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast [https://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast?ref=inline-article] Feedback to: podcast@sph.com.sg?ref=inline-articlepodcast@sph.com.sg [podcast@sph.com.sg?ref=inline-article] --- Follow more ST podcast channels: All-in-one ST Podcasts channel: https://str.sg/wvz7?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/wvz7 [https://str.sg/wvz7?ref=inline-article] Get more updates: http://str.sg/stpodcasts?ref=inline-articlehttp://str.sg/stpodcasts [http://str.sg/stpodcasts?ref=inline-article] --- Get The Straits Times app, which has a dedicated podcast player section: The App Store: https://str.sg/icyB?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/icyB [https://str.sg/icyB?ref=inline-article] Google Play: https://str.sg/icyX [https://str.sg/icyX] -- #tup #tuptrf See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

S1E95: Is caning an appropriate way to discipline school bullies?

By 2027, every school will have to follow standard disciplinary measures such as detention and conduct grade adjustment for different types of misbehaviour. But the measure that divided parents, teachers and parliamentarians was that bullies can get up to three strokes of the cane. Caning in schools is not new, so why were so many people upset that school bullies will be caned? In this episode of The Usual Place, I speak with ST education correspondent and former secondary school teacher Elisha Tushara, and chief executive officer of the Singapore Children’s Society Ang Boon Min, about what caused the scrutiny over caning for bullies. At a time when bullying cases are increasing - albeit by a small number - will caning change behaviour among recalcitrant students? Also, if parents step in to take on their child’s bullies, will it make things worse? Highlights (click/tap above): 1:35 Does caning students work? 4:55 Do children learn from being caned? 8:22 Creative ways students try to escape caning 11:20 How do children become bullies? 13:34 Reframe the language around bullying 16:35 Most children don’t want their bully punished 19:11 Natural for parents to “feel an ache” 20:42 What is restorative justice? 22:35 Will teachers be stretched further? 26:45 How to help bullied children feel safe? 29:35 Parents involvement can be “unproductive” Host: Natasha Ann Zachariah (natashaz@sph.com.sg [natashaz@sph.com.sg]) Read Natasha’s articles: https://str.sg/iSXm [https://str.sg/iSXm] Follow The Usual Place podcast on IG: https://str.sg/8KNT [https://str.sg/8KNT] Follow Natasha on LinkedIn: https://str.sg/v6DN [https://str.sg/v6DN] Filmed by: Studio+65 Edited by: Eden Soh & Natasha Liew Executive producer: Danson Cheong Producers: Natasha Ann Zachariah and Elizabeth Law Assistant producer: Stacey Ngiam Follow The Usual Place Podcast and get notified for new episode drops every Thursday: Channel: https://str.sg/5nfm?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/5nfm [https://str.sg/5nfm?ref=inline-article] Apple Podcasts: https://str.sg/9ijX?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/9ijX [https://str.sg/9ijX?ref=inline-article] Spotify: https://str.sg/cd2P?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/cd2P [https://str.sg/cd2P?ref=inline-article] YouTube: https://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast [https://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast?ref=inline-article] Feedback to: podcast@sph.com.sg?ref=inline-articlepodcast@sph.com.sg [podcast@sph.com.sg?ref=inline-article] --- Follow more ST podcast channels: All-in-one ST Podcasts channel: https://str.sg/wvz7?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/wvz7 [https://str.sg/wvz7?ref=inline-article] Get more updates: http://str.sg/stpodcasts?ref=inline-articlehttp://str.sg/stpodcasts [http://str.sg/stpodcasts?ref=inline-article] --- Get The Straits Times app, which has a dedicated podcast player section: The App Store: https://str.sg/icyB?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/icyB [https://str.sg/icyB?ref=inline-article] Google Play: https://str.sg/icyX [https://str.sg/icyX] -- #tup #tuptrf See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.

S1E94: Sky high condo prices: are sales being funded by parents' retirement savings?

Never mind that it’s way out west - Tengah’s first private condominium development sold out almost all its units over its launch weekend at the end of April. At an average price of $2,120 per sq ft and a location that’s under the Outside Central Region (OCR) classification, the affordable suburban condominium is starting to feel more expensive. But despite all our complaints about high property prices and the uncertain global outlook, these sales show that Singaporeans are still willing to fork out serious money for new, unsubsidised private residential properties. Is this the new normal buyers have to get used to? In this episode of The Usual Place, Natasha speaks with veteran property analyst and chief research officer at MOGUL.sg Nicholas Mak, and CEO and Chief Investment Officer at financial advisory firm MoneyOwl Chuin Ting Weber. We chat about who are the buyers driving the sales of these properties, and what’s driving these record new launch condo prices? Highlights (click/tap above): 1:20 What's driving up condo prices? 4:55 FOMO in buyers driven by agents 7:25 HDB upgraders not main condo buyers 9:56 Who's renting if everyone's buying? 15:28 The myth of constantly rising prices 19:28 Making compromises to make mortgage 31:40 Good debt and what you can afford 37:22 Parents digging into retirement funds for kids 48:00 Why isn't the government stepping in more? 51:36 The similarities between healthcare and property Host: Natasha Ann Zachariah (natashaz@sph.com.sg [natashaz@sph.com.sg]) Read Natasha’s articles: https://str.sg/iSXm [https://str.sg/iSXm] Follow The Usual Place podcast on IG: https://str.sg/8KNT [https://str.sg/8KNT] Follow Natasha on LinkedIn: https://str.sg/v6DN [https://str.sg/v6DN] Filmed by: Studio+65 Edited by: Eden Soh, Fa’izah Sani & Natasha Liew Executive producer: Danson Cheong Producers: Natasha Ann Zachariah and Elizabeth Law Follow The Usual Place Podcast and get notified for new episode drops every Thursday: Channel: https://str.sg/5nfm?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/5nfm [https://str.sg/5nfm?ref=inline-article] Apple Podcasts: https://str.sg/9ijX?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/9ijX [https://str.sg/9ijX?ref=inline-article] Spotify: https://str.sg/cd2P?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/cd2P [https://str.sg/cd2P?ref=inline-article] YouTube: https://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast [https://str.sg/theusualplacepodcast?ref=inline-article] Feedback to: podcast@sph.com.sg?ref=inline-articlepodcast@sph.com.sg [podcast@sph.com.sg?ref=inline-article] --- Follow more ST podcast channels: All-in-one ST Podcasts channel: https://str.sg/wvz7?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/wvz7 [https://str.sg/wvz7?ref=inline-article] Get more updates: http://str.sg/stpodcasts?ref=inline-articlehttp://str.sg/stpodcasts [http://str.sg/stpodcasts?ref=inline-article] --- Get The Straits Times app, which has a dedicated podcast player section: The App Store: https://str.sg/icyB?ref=inline-articlehttps://str.sg/icyB [https://str.sg/icyB?ref=inline-article] Google Play: https://str.sg/icyX [https://str.sg/icyX] -- #tup #tuptrf See omnystudio.com/listener [https://omnystudio.com/listener] for privacy information.