Ep #81 - Transitions, Waiting Mode, and Appointment Days
In this episode, I respond to a listener letter from my We Are A Lot community [https://we-are-a-lot.circle.so/adhd-community] about something so many of us struggle with: what to do with yourself when you have two appointments in one day and the hours in between feel like a black hole. We talk about waiting mode, anticipatory overwhelm, the trap of comparing yourself to neurotypical people who seem to effortlessly bounce from thing to thing, and why emotional regulation has to come before any scheduling strategy. I share what's been working for me since the beginning of the year: treating appointment days as life admin days, keeping a pre-made list of low cognitive load activities for those in-between hours, and letting go of the pressure to be "productive" when your brain is already maxed out. We also do a quick 90-second body reset together, because sometimes you need to unclench before you can think straight. Weekly bonus episodes, video episodes, ad-free episodes, full archive on Patreon $7.99 monthly or pay annually for a big discount. [https://www.patreon.com/c/ALOTADHDPOD]
Join the "We Are A Lot" ADHD/AuDHD Online Community. Choose the level that works for you:
We Are A Lot Community + Podcast (Patreon) — $24.99/month: [https://www.patreon.com/c/alotadhdpod/membership] Full community access on Circle plus ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and video episodes on Patreon.
We Are A Lot Community — $17/month: [https://we-are-a-lot.circle.so/adhd-community] 24/7 support hub with daily body doubling sessions and weekly meetings with Jen & other members and over ten sections of guided online ADHD/AuDHD help hubs made by Jen. (Use code WELCOME7 at checkout [https://we-are-a-lot.circle.so/checkout/we-are-a-lot-community-i?coupon_code=WELCOME7] and get $7 off of your first month, cancel anytime easily, no sales pressure)
Body Doubling Only — [https://we-are-a-lot.circle.so/checkout/online-body-double-sessions] $ [https://we-are-a-lot.circle.so/checkout/online-body-double-sessions]7.99 month: Daily body doubling sessions with Jen & other members. (Use code WELCOME3 at checkout a [https://we-are-a-lot.circle.so/checkout/online-body-double-sessions-o?coupon_code=WELCOME3]nd get $3 off of your first month, cancel anytime easily, no sales pressure)
Shop to Support the Show: Jen's Favorite ADHD Supports (with Discounts)
Brain.fm — A Focus Tool I Use Every Day [https://www.brain.fm/alotpod] I listen while I work and I can feel my brain lock in. It's not AI, or binaural beats. Brain.fm is science-backed sound made by musicians and scientists for ADHD brains. I want you to try it for 30 days free, with my link! [https://www.brain.fm/alotpod]
The Big A## Calendar [https://thebigasscalendar.com/?dt_id=2932945] I have the Big A## wall calendar that maps out the entire year and the Big A## personal planner with 365 days in one view, dry erase markers, color coded labels. With my unique link you can get 10% off of your order. [https://thebigasscalendar.com/?dt_id=2932945]
Hugimals — Weighted Comfort for Kids & Adults [https://www.hugimalsworld.com/JENKIRKMAN] I own Hugimals, give them as gifts, and love that they're made by a neurodivergent founder who understands nervous system needs. These weighted stuffed animals and pillows help with anxiety and overwhelm, and you can get 15% off anytime using my link and code JENKIRKMAN [https://www.hugimalsworld.com/JENKIRKMAN] (it never expires).
Bookshop.org — Books I Recommend [https://bookshop.org/shop/jenkirkman] I love Bookshop.org because every purchase supports your local independent bookstore, not Amazon, while still shipping directly to you. I've curated book lists on ADHD/AuDHD and mental health, and you can get 20% off everything when you shop using my link. [https://bookshop.org/shop/jenkirkman]
The Time Timer - a Cute Visual Time Tool! [https://www.timetimer.com/collections/all-1/products/time-timer-mod-home-edition] I use my Time Timer every single day to help me visualize time during work blocks, and to gamify chores. There's no discount, but when you use my link I [https://www.timetimer.com/collections/all-1/products/time-timer-mod-home-edition] earn a percentage that goes directly into supporting this podcast.
Appointed — Planners, Notebooks & Desk Goods [https://appointed.co/JENKIRKMAN] Appointed notebooks are my go-to for my spiral notebooks, day planners, calendars and Le Pen pens for list-making, journaling, and planning. Save 15% off with my link and code JENKIRKMAN. [https://appointed.co/JENKIRKMAN]
Bearaby - Weighted Blankets, Warmables, Stress Pillows [https://bearaby-us.pxf.io/kOaYez%C2%A0] I LOVE my Bearaby cooling weighted blankets, the weighted and warmable lap lounger, I need their products daily to regulate and relax. Their products are built to calm the body down and support a. natural sleep cycle.
UnHide - Weighted Faux Fur Blankets, Pillows, Plush Home Goods [https://unhide.us/JENNIFER%C2%A0] I LOVE my UnHide faux fur weighted blankets, my squish pillows and my backrest that is always on my bed for my sitting up in bed working days. Get 20% off everything with my link and JENNIFER at checkout.
