co-regulation

A pause; a new book; an upcoming series on ADHD and addiction

TL;DR: WE'RE WRAPPING CO-REGULATION SEASON 1 AND RELEASING FUTURE EPISODES ON HOLLY'S SUBSTACK, RECOVERING. [https://newsletter.hollywhitaker.com/] Access new episodes and more by going to newsletter.hollywhitaker.com [https://newsletter.hollywhitaker.com/] or clicking here to sign up. CREDITS Original music by Gracie Coates @graciecoates @gracieandrachel on Instagram, gracieandrachel.com [https://gracieandrachel.com/] Sound engineering, editor: Adam Day, adamdayphotography.com [https://adamdayphotography.com/] Producers: Holly Whitaker [https://open.acast.com/networks/61df8c11f2acc80013ad7e3d/shows/67f9346910b3098e4a5d87b6/episodes/hollywhitaker.com], Adam Day [http://adamdayphotography.com/], Kate Sines [http://katesines.substack.com/] Original art by Misha Handschumacher, cmisha.com [https://cmisha.com/] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

Why Sky Fusco Doesn't Want a Boyfriend (Sky Fusco)

Sky Fusco and Holly wrestle with fundamental questions about the role of the artist in times of crisis: Who gets to claim the title of artist? Is making art "enough" or should creative people abandon their practices to become EMTs and nurses? The conversation explores the existential doubt that plagues many creatives during unprecedented times, the fantasy of having "useful skills" instead of making vulnerable art, and how Sky uses herself as a guinea pig to give others permission to follow their creative impulses. The discussion evolves into Sky's recent decision to step back from dating men—not from hatred, but from exhaustion with those who refuse to engage in the internal work that women have been doing for decades, while maintaining that love remains her North Star even as she redefines what healthy relationships look like. TOPICS COVERED Artistic vulnerability and managing consequences of public sharing; writing about real people and relationships; intellectual property and copying in art; living as a full-time artist; claiming the role of an artist; existential questions about usefulness during crises; publicly changing your mind and contradicting previous positions; divesting from dating men and the male gaze; women's exhaustion in patriarchal systems; men's avoidance of feminist education and internal work; hetero-pessimism and relationship refusal; love as antidote to pessimism; redefining love and being the change you want to see. SKY FUSCO BIO Sky Fusco is an artist working across drawing, painting, writing, and a public practice she calls Internet Caretaking. Her commercial studio, ROCK SHOP, is located in Morro Bay, California. Her Substack, Unsupervised, has over 25 thousand readers, and makes frequent stops at topics like relationships, personal histories, living in community, creativity, technology, addiction, self-actualization, and navigating the digital Anthropocene as an artist. Sky took an unconventional educational path before claiming her artist identity at 27, Sky makes her living entirely through creative practice. Her visual work features bold emotional declarations, including the piece "We've been having feelings for years, they're perfectly safe." Her writing explores artistic courage, relationships, and contemporary women's experiences with sharp observation and visceral honesty. Sky's work serves as permission for others to follow their creative impulses, change their minds publicly, and use their lives as ongoing experiments in authenticity while maintaining love as a guiding principle. Sky's Substack [https://lordcowboy.substack.com/]; Sky's website [https://lordcowboy.com/] CREDITS Original music by Gracie Coates @graciecoates @gracieandrachel on Instagram, gracieandrachel.com [https://gracieandrachel.com] Sound engineering, editor: Adam Day, adamdayphotography.com [https://adamdayphotography.com] Producers: Holly Whitaker [https://open.acast.com/networks/61df8c11f2acc80013ad7e3d/shows/67f9346910b3098e4a5d87b6/episodes/hollywhitaker.com], Adam Day [http://adamdayphotography.com/], Kate Sines [http://katesines.substack.com] Original art by Misha Handschumacher, cmisha.com [https://cmisha.com] Transcript [https://www.patreon.com/posts/137937389/edit] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

Your Phone or Your Life? (Cody Cook-Parrott)

Holly and author Cody Cook-Parrott dive headfirst into the raw realities of staying regulated in an unregulated world. Cody shares their journey from near-mental breakdown to thriving queer rural life in Michigan, including the radical decision to permanently delete their 80,000-follower Instagram account while preparing to launch a book. Together, they explore the parallels between social media addiction and alcohol addiction, the art of building community in conservative small towns, and how to support trans loved ones during increasingly dangerous times. This conversation is a masterclass in attention as spiritual practice and choosing alignment over algorithm. TOPICS COVERED Mental health maintenance and medication as life-saving tools; the parallels between social media addiction and alcohol addiction; building authentic community in rural areas; co-regulation and nervous system support; the challenge of being a public figure expected to have answers while still struggling; leaving Instagram permanently despite professional pressure and financial implications; the ethics of platform choices and leaving Substack; attention as a spiritual practice and defending one's time; supporting trans partners and creating safety in small communities; bathroom safety and allyship practices; rural queer life and finding chosen family; building sustainable businesses without social media dependence; email lists as alternatives to social platforms; the intersection of creativity, sobriety, and mental health; grief and the preciousness of time following Andrea Gibson's death; celebrating personal achievements and throwing parties for yourself; dating apps and unexpected love stories; navigating news consumption without social media overwhelm; Democracy Now and intentional media consumption; small town dynamics between queer couples and conservative neighbors; the responsibility of having a platform during political crises; fundraising for Palestinian relief through social media before leaving; the upcoming book "The Practice of Attention" coming March 17th, 2026 ABOUT Cody Cook-Parrott is a writer and artist living on Michigan's Leelanau Peninsula.Cody hosts the podcast Common Shapes, writes the newsletter Monday Monday, and is author of How to Not Always Be Working, Getting to Center, and The Practice of Attention (March 2026) With a BFA in Dance from University of Michigan and currently pursuing an MFA at Naropa University's Jack Kerouac School, their work has been featured in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, and Dance Magazine. CREDITS Original music by Gracie Coates (of Gracie and Rachel) @graciecoates @gracieandrachel on Instagram, gracieandrachel.com [https://gracieandrachel.com] Sound engineering, editor: Adam Day, adamdayphotography.com [https://adamdayphotography.com] Producers: Holly Whitaker [https://open.acast.com/networks/61df8c11f2acc80013ad7e3d/shows/67f9346910b3098e4a5d87b6/episodes/hollywhitaker.com], Adam Day [http://adamdayphotography.com/], Kate Sines Original art by Misha Handschumacher, cmisha.com [https://cmisha.com] Transcript [https://www.patreon.com/posts/137041959/edit] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

How To Stop Thinking Everyone Is Always Mad at You (Meg Josephson, Part 2)

In the second part of Holly's deep dive with Meg Josephson, they shift from understanding fawning to working with it. Continuing their exploration of Meg's book "Are You Mad At Me?", the conversation explores perfectionism as a protective mechanism, "secondhand fawning" through others, and the core shame beliefs that drive these patterns. Meg explains how healing happens through secure relationships and offers a compassionate framework for understanding these survival mechanisms. Holly reflects on how recognizing her fawn response has been foundational to her healing journey. TOPICS COVERED The fawn trauma response and what it looks like; The six fawn archetypes (peacekeeper, caretaker, perfectionist, performer, chameleon, lone wolf); Complex relational trauma vs. single-incident trauma; How fawning develops as a survival mechanism in volatile homes; The intersection of fawning with ADHD and neurodivergence; Why digital communication amplifies "are you mad at me?" feelings; Chronic dysregulation and nervous system impacts; The connection between fawning and masking behaviors; Hypervigilance and external validation-seeking; How fawning shows up in romantic relationships. MEG JOSEPHSON BIO Meg Josephson is a licensed therapist, meditation teacher, and author of "Are You Mad at Me? A Guide to Caring Less About What People Think." She integrates mindfulness-based practices with trauma-informed therapy, specializing in the fawn trauma response. After recognizing her own chronic hypervigilance patterns in her twenties, she discovered meditation during concussion recovery and pursued graduate training in therapy. Her work focuses on complex relational trauma and helping clients develop self-compassion for protective patterns that no longer serve them. Meg’s new book Are You Mad At Me [https://bookshop.org/a/85251/9781668082461]? Is out now. She writes the Substack Peace of Mind [https://megjosephson.substack.com/]. You can follow Meg on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/megjosephson] and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@megjosephson]. CREDITS Original music by Gracie Coates (of Gracie and Rachel) @graciecoates @gracieandrachel on Instagram, gracieandrachel.com [https://gracieandrachel.com/] Sound engineering, editor: Adam Day, adamdayphotography.com [https://adamdayphotography.com/] Producers: Holly Whitaker [https://open.acast.com/networks/61df8c11f2acc80013ad7e3d/shows/67f9346910b3098e4a5d87b6/episodes/hollywhitaker.com], Adam Day [http://adamdayphotography.com/] Original art by Misha Handschumacher, cmisha.com [https://cmisha.com/] TRANSCRIPT AVAILABLE ON PATREON [https://www.patreon.com/posts/ep-11-how-to-is-135781527] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

Why We Think Everyone Is Always Mad at Us (Meg Josephson, Part 1)

Part 2 of this is available now on patreon for patrons of this show! Check us out here. [https://www.patreon.com/c/coregulation] In this first installment of a two-part series with therapist Meg Josephson, Holly and Meg unpack the fawn trauma response - the fourth trauma response that leaves people constantly wondering, "Are you mad at me?" Drawing from her new book of the same title (Are You Mad At Me? [https://bookshop.org/a/85251/9781668082461]), Meg gives language to this internal hypervigilance that develops as a childhood survival mechanism. Holly shares her journey of recognizing chronic dysregulation and fawning patterns. They explore how this response intersects with neurodivergence, addiction recovery, and our digitally connected world that amplifies these feelings. TOPICS COVERED The fawn trauma response and what it looks like; The six fawn archetypes (peacekeeper, caretaker, perfectionist, performer, chameleon, lone wolf); Complex relational trauma vs. single-incident trauma; How fawning develops as a survival mechanism in volatile homes; The intersection of fawning with ADHD and neurodivergence; Why digital communication amplifies "are you mad at me?" feelings; Chronic dysregulation and nervous system impacts; The connection between fawning and masking behaviors; Hypervigilance and external validation-seeking; How fawning shows up in romantic relationships MEG JOSEPHSON BIO Meg Josephson is a licensed therapist, meditation teacher, and author of "Are You Mad at Me? A Guide to Caring Less About What People Think." She integrates mindfulness-based practices with trauma-informed therapy, specializing in the fawn trauma response. After recognizing her own chronic hypervigilance patterns in her twenties, she discovered meditation during concussion recovery and pursued graduate training in therapy. Her work focuses on complex relational trauma and helping clients develop self-compassion for protective patterns that no longer serve them. Meg’s new book Are You Mad At Me [https://bookshop.org/a/85251/9781668082461]? Is out now. She writes the Substack Peace of Mind [https://megjosephson.substack.com/]. You can follow Meg on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/megjosephson] and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@megjosephson]. CREDITS Original music by Gracie Coates (of Gracie and Rachel) @graciecoates @gracieandrachel on Instagram, gracieandrachel.com [https://gracieandrachel.com/] Sound engineering, editor: Adam Day, adamdayphotography.com [https://adamdayphotography.com/] Producers: Holly Whitaker [https://open.acast.com/networks/61df8c11f2acc80013ad7e3d/shows/67f9346910b3098e4a5d87b6/episodes/hollywhitaker.com], Adam Day [http://adamdayphotography.com/] Original art by Misha Handschumacher, cmisha.com [https://cmisha.com/] Transcript available here [https://www.patreon.com/posts/135780595] ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.