This Queen Says

Episode 10: The Life You Choose | Yoma Okwa

In this deeply reflective conversation, I sit down with Yoma Okwa, from the Class of 2006. After 13 years in the energy sector, Yoma is making a bold transition into education, turning a book club she started in 2017 into a children’s book company that designs libraries for schools across Nigeria and the UK. But this episode isn’t just about a career change. It’s about the moment Yoma realized she’d been following someone else’s script instead of choosing her own life. This conversation explores the courage it takes to course-correct, the freedom of creating your own path, and the patience required when everyone around you can’t recognize the version of you that’s emerging. Yoma’s message is clear: there is no structure, there are no rules, and you’re allowed to change your mind with new information, because at the end of the day, you only get one life, so make sure it’s the one you chose. Yoma’s wisdom in her own words “Loving myself was saying, ‘Actually, this is who I am. I’m not trying to be like anyone else. I’m not trying to imitate people. This is the path I’ve chosen for myself.’ It’s almost like creating your own path.” “You only get one life, you get just one pass, so make good use of it. Make sure it’s the one you chose. It’s not something that someone else has scripted for you.” “I wish women spoke more about patience. Good things take time—from your hair to your skin to your relationships. Everything gets better with time, just like fine wine.” “I had to learn to take time to really sit with myself and ask: Are you authentic? Is this the life you chose, or did you stumble on it? Just really asking hard questions.” --------------- Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thisqueensays_podcast?igsh=MzFwN29hbjF2a2V5&utm_source=qr] or send an email to thisqueensays@gmail.com [thisqueensays@gmail.com]. Music by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com [https://thisqueensays.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Episode 9: Boundaries set you free | Ify Okafor

In this hugely enjoyable chat, I sit down with Ify Okafor, from the Class of '97. A a woman who wears many crowns: certified wholeness coach, digital parenting advocate, and as well as her 9-5, Ify reflects on her journey from being a people pleaser to reaching a point today where she unapologetically declares: "you don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea." At the heart of Ify's message is the courage to recognize that mental load is real and exhausting, and that it is important to know what is important to you. This conversation honours a woman who survived extreme burnout, four high-risk pregnancies and emerged as a reformed people pleaser ready to help other women do the same. Ify’s wisdom in her own words “I realized that I had to forgive people that probably didn't realize they hurt me. They were probably just bleeding and indeed that bled over me. And it was either I hold onto that or I let it go so that I could be free." “You’re lack of planning, ain’t gonna be my source of emergency. I'm sorry. I work, I run a business, but my family is my priority. And I'm very unapologetic about that." “I used to avoid conflict because I felt like conflict meant not liking me. But now, after all the work I've done on myself, I'll tell you what I think. If you don't like it, I get it. I understand. You may not be everybody's cup of tea. We will all be fine.” “God sometimes sends some of us through chaos first so that we can advocate for others about what not to do.” ------------- Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thisqueensays_podcast?igsh=MzFwN29hbjF2a2V5&utm_source=qr] or send an email to thisqueensays@gmail.com [thisqueensays@gmail.com]. Music by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com [https://thisqueensays.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Episode 8: Refined, Not Defined | Ife Morrison

In this powerful conversation, I reconnect with Dr. Ife Morrison, my classmate and Class of ‘96. Now a cardiologist at the Vanderbilt Heart and Vascular Institute in Nashville, Ife reflects on her journey from being hyper-focused in medical school to reaching a point today where she proudly declares: “It’s time to flourish.” At the heart of Ife’s message is the courage to continue evolving, even when life throws significant obstacles your way, even when you’re merely taking the next step in survival mode, and even when you understate your own impact. This conversation honours a woman who has put in the work, navigated various life transitions, and is now ready to embrace her full potential. Ife’s wisdom in her own words “I am powerful, I am strong, I am worthy, I belong, and I can do anything. Say it to yourself until it becomes a part of you” “I want to emphasize to myself that you're still becoming. Who you are right now is still in transition. So embrace the transition. Don't let those challenges define you or make you feel shame” “You can have it all, but not necessarily all at the same time. And be happy with it. Be happy with that fact” "I want to say to my 65-year-old self: well done. And there's still more you can do. Don't stop having impact. Who says 65 is it? It's just an arbitrary time point" ------------ Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thisqueensays_podcast?igsh=MzFwN29hbjF2a2V5&utm_source=qr] or send an email to thisqueensays@gmail.com [thisqueensays@gmail.com]. Music by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com [https://thisqueensays.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Episode 7: Who Have You Helped? | Hannatu Adegboyega

In this fun episode, I sit down with Hannatu Adegboyega, a QC ‘99 girl who builds and leads high-performing sales teams in tech. This conversation explores navigating power dynamics as a young Black woman in male-dominated industry, the unspoken office politics women don’t talk about enough, and why being present matters more than having the perfect plan. Hannatu’s message is clear: prepare yourself while you wait, trust the timing even when it makes no sense, and when you’re 65, make sure you can answer the question—who have you helped? Hannatu’s wisdom in her own words “Be present. Be mindful. It’s very easy to get caught up in everything else” “I learned this summer that the most expensive things we did for my children were not the things they talk about most.” “You will give account of the resources and influence you’ve been given in your career, in the marketplace. If you can’t find one person, five people whose life changed because of you, you need to ask for a few more years.” “Enjoy where you are right now. You’re not gonna have it again.”------- Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thisqueensays_podcast?igsh=MzFwN29hbjF2a2V5&utm_source=qr] or send an email to thisqueensays@gmail.com [thisqueensays@gmail.com]. Music by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com [https://thisqueensays.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Episode 6: Embracing What You Enjoy | Ogo Nwokedi

In this inspiring chat, I catch up with Ogo Nwokedi, my ‘W’ classmate. With nearly 20 years of experience as a lawyer in the shipping industry and as a published writer, she shares the liberating impact of her mother’s transformative advice: “You don’t have to be good at everything.” Words I think should be printed as posters. This conversation celebrates the courage to pivot, the freedom of not conforming to expectations, and the beauty of living authentically. Ogo’s message is clear: explore everything, enjoy the journey, don’t wait for perfect timing—and remember that every decade of a woman’s life is fantastic. Ogo in her own words “When you seem very resourceful and capable and you’re taking care of things, people assume that you’re fine. But the first person that you’re not being truthful with a lot of times is yourself. It’s important to tell yourself the truth when you’re alone, and look after yourself.” “We often underestimate what we’ve learned over the years. You don’t really know how much you’ve learned until you start to teach someone. We all know something. We all have something we can share.” “I would say smile, and be ready to explore. Be ready to have an adventure.” ------- Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thisqueensays_podcast?igsh=MzFwN29hbjF2a2V5&utm_source=qr] or send an email to thisqueensays@gmail.com [thisqueensays@gmail.com]. Music by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com [https://thisqueensays.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]