Getting It All Out At The End With Jeff Stewart: Dad Hat 018
In today's episode of The Dad Hat, I talk to Jeff Stewart, author of "Living: Inspiration From A Father With Cancer."
Let's Meet Today's Guest On The Dad Hat, Jeff Stewart
Jeff Stewart is a healthcare consultant, scientist, inventor, award-winning playwright, and father of seven. He was a Jeopardy! College Champion and runner-up in the Tournament of Champions. Jeff lives in Cary, North Carolina.
Parsing The Science And Good Luck
They began by discussing how Jeff's training as a biologist affect things. He was able to better parse through the information received from well meaning friends to avoid wasting time on unproven treatments or other types of pseudoscience.
The book includes many inspirations, Lee thought of them as life lessons. One of them being to recognize good luck as well as the bad. Jeff mentions his own good luck in having the cancer diagnosed at all since it would have been missed in standard testing.
Living For Now, Teaching For Tomorrow
From here the question moves onto a discussion about how the diagnosis affected Jeff's outlook. Most people think in terms of five maybe ten years. Jeff had to learn to live for the immediate future and for the long term.
Next they talk about the most important lessons Jeff and his wife taught to their children. Jeff's kids are very kind and they learned to be that way because Jeff learned when to let go of dominance as a parent and allow his children to learn to make the right decisions.
What's Kindness And Competing With Our Kids
Jeff goes on to explain what kindness means to him and the contrast between being kind and 'being nice'. After discussing some of Jeff's inventive work the conversation turns to Jeff's formative years in rural Oregon. He learned a lot from his parents who were both teachers and firmly connected to their community.
One piece of advice Jeff would give to all the fathers out there is that they aren't in competition with their kids. Lee brings up the book The Conscious Parent and it's idea that parent tend to try making their kids into better versions of themselves. The guys discuss whether this is a good strategy.
The Age For Sex Ed And Birthrates
When asked if anything changed in his parenting approach since his eldest child was born Jeff responds that with the idea that we're bound to change quite a bit in that amount of time (31 years). Jeff shares a couple things he would change about his parenting back then and a few things he felt he did right.
A curve-ball question leads to talking about sex ed. When is the best time to talk to your kids and how should you do it? Jeff gives us his advice based on the studies he's read on the subject. Basically saying it should be an ongoing conversation that leaves little room for curiosity. They're going to learn it, you want them to learn it from you.
And since they're in the neighborhood subject-wise Lee brings up birthrates. Jeff looks at the subject from an economic standpoint and thinks it unlikely that we're going to produce enough births to avoid some level of population decline.
Perspective And My Favorite Bits
Wrapping up the conversation they get back to the book, revealing two of Jeff's favorite bits of inspiration in the book. They are, funnily enough, about books and what you can or can't learn form them. Jeff shares bit about his children's reaction to the book and some of the conversation it brought about.
Finally Lee asks for a bit more about what keeps Jeff going. Jeff credits his religious belief and his experiences of doing hard things. Everything seems easier if you have the right perspective.
Hopefully, todays episode with author, Jeff Stewart gives you some added perspective on your life and how your living it.
Jeff Stewart Resources & Extra Media
- https://www.amazon.com/Living-Inspiration-Father-Jeff-Stewart/dp/B0C3KSDYZ6
