Modern Love

When we asked Modern Love listeners how location sharing is affecting their relationships, the responses we got were all over the map. Some people love this technology. Some hate it. But either way, it has changed something fundamental about how we demonstrate our love and how we set boundaries around relationships. Today, we’re sharing a few of our favorite listener responses. Then, Host Anna Martin talks with Arlon Jay Staggs, a Modern Love essayist who has wrestled deeply with whether to share his location. At first, location sharing wasn’t a big deal for Staggs and his mother. He took a lot of long drives, and it made sense for her to keep tabs on him. But when he realized his mother was watching his little blue dot too closely, and it was causing her stress when she needed peace of mind, Staggs decided the sharing had to stop. He just couldn’t figure out how to tell her. And when tragedy struck his family, the stakes of his decision to share or not share became a lot higher. Today’s episode was inspired by the essay “Every Move I Make, She’ll Be Watching Me. [https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/07/style/modern-love-she-tracks-my-every-move.html]” Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html]. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks]. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

The director Celine Song won over audiences and critics alike with her first feature film, “Past Lives,” the semi-autobiographical tale of a married Korean American woman meeting up with her former childhood sweetheart. Now Song is back with another story about love called “Materialists.” This time the main character is a matchmaker, a job that Song did briefly in her early 20s. Today on the show, Song reads Louise Rafkin’s Modern Love essay “My View From the Margins [https://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/31/fashion/31lovesub.html],” about a relationship columnist who can’t figure out love in her own life. And Song tells us how neither falling in love at age 24 nor making a career of writing about love has brought her any closer to understanding it. “It’s the one thing that makes me feel like a fool,” Song says. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html]. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks]. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

For Father’s Day, the Modern Love team asked for your stories about fatherhood and emotional vulnerability. We heard from listeners who told us that their dads rarely expressed their emotions, from listeners whose fathers wore their hearts on their sleeves and from fathers themselves who were trying to navigate parenting with emotional honesty and sensitivity. Your stories had one thing in common: even just a peek into your father’s emotional world meant so much. On this episode of Modern Love, we hear your stories about your dads. Then, Terry Real, a family therapist, returns to the show to offer his advice on being a father while also showing kids what it means to be emotionally vulnerable and available. He offers his philosophy around parenting through a combination of techniques. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html]. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks]. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

In last week’s episode [https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/28/podcasts/love-soundtrack-music.html], the Modern Love team shared the songs that taught us about love when we were young. But in this week’s episode, we hear from you, our listeners, about the songs that helped shape your ideas about love. We heard from present-day teens streaming their anthems on repeat, and we heard from listeners who have been with their partners for over 50 years. There were stories of jazz and rap; adrenaline rushes and loneliness; and many hard-won lessons in matters of the heart. (“Don’t let your friends choose your boyfriends,” Amy from St. Louis said.) We share a compilation of some of your songs and stories in the first half of our episode. And we finish our episode with an essay about the end of love [https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/06/style/modern-love-no-hearing-aids-then-no-marriage.html]. After more than 50 years of marriage, Tina Welling decided that she wanted a divorce — a decision that turned out to be liberating. Thank you to all of the listeners who sent us their teenage anthems. We’ve compiled them into one glorious Spotify playlist [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5PpJ2xkawJWHLpPXW4kNgf?si=e96543458a494e86]. [You can listen to this episode above, or on Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/modern-love/id1065559535?mt=2], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/03Er7mSPq9IEewOgbPD3vO?si=CYApBISZSoCH6AjwdiGsFw&nd=1], Amazon Music [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/c40b7b82-b31d-493d-ac33-273b39d153ca/modern-love] or wherever you get your podcasts.] Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html]. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks]. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

This episode of “Modern Love” features Lisa Selin Davis’s essay “What Lou Reed Taught Me About Love [https://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/09/fashion/What-Lou-Reed-Taught-Me-About-Love-modern-love.html].” She writes about how the song “I’ll Be Your Mirror [https://open.spotify.com/track/4PINSJIlBWsnVeveicq1S8?si=1e94d8cadd1543ab]” became the soundtrack to her summer romance with a floppy-haired “rocker kid” who inadvertently helped her find healing. Then, we hear from some members of the “Modern Love” team about the songs that influenced them as teenagers and about the memories — funny, empowering, nostalgic — that they carry with them. Stay tuned for next week’s episode, where we’ll hear from our listeners about the songs that taught them about love. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html]. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks]. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.