Modern Love

In a new memoir out next week, the singer-songwriter Neko Case shares some painful childhood memories. In the studio with Anna Martin, Case is open and unapologetically angry as she describes being treated like “an unwanted child.” Both parents, she says, struggled with trauma and addiction. They often left her with no food and only her pets for company. Case also reads a Modern Love essay about the complex heartbreak that comes with being estranged from a parent with an addiction, and the joys of finding love and acceptance in the wake of that pain. Neko Case’s memoir, “The Harder I Fight the More I Love You [https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/neko-case/the-harder-i-fight-the-more-i-love-you/9781538710500/],” comes out Jan. 28. Caitlin McCormick’s Modern Love essay, “My Mother, the Stranger,” can be found here [https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/12/style/modern-love-mothers-day-alcoholism-estrangement.html]. McCormick, who recently published a short fiction piece in The Sewanee Review [https://thesewaneereview.com/articles/eleanor], is working on a novel. Listener callout alert: For our upcoming Valentine’s Day episode, the Modern Love team wants to hear about a moment when you knew you were falling for someone. Whether it happened all at once or as a gradual process, we want to learn about how it happened. Where were you? What did it feel like? What did you do next? (You can tell us about a current relationship, a past love or something happening to you right now.) The deadline is Feb. 5, 2025. The submission instructions are here [https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/15/podcasts/falling-in-love-stories-modern-love.html]. How to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks] Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Hank Azaria is used to putting on other personalities. You probably know him best from his work as a voice actor on “The Simpsons,” where he plays Moe the bartender, Professor Frink, Chief Wiggum and Snake Jailbird, among many others. His list of credits in stage plays, movies and TV shows is prolific, including roles like his Tony-nominated performance in “Spamalot,” Phoebe’s boyfriend on “Friends” and the dog walker on “Mad About You.” But at a certain point in his life, Azaria realized that he was using humor and acting to be anyone but himself, and that it was affecting his real-life relationships. After five devastating heartbreaks, he resolved to look inward, address his codependency issues and become his most authentic self. In this episode, Azaria tells us how he found authenticity and reads the Modern Love essay “In Defense of My Emu Tattoo [https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/03/style/modern-love-in-defense-of-my-emu-tattoo.html],” about an author who masks his true self by using humor but eventually finds love by learning to be himself. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks] Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

When Clare Cory was a young girl, she dreamed of love. But by the time she turned 50, Clare hadn’t found it. Still, she took a look around and found she was happy and was looking forward to the future. Clare fell in love with life. She saw a flower bloom, watched sunlight sparkle on the water and held her cat on her lap. Her heart was full.  Then, to her surprise, as Clare faced cancer and was about to turn 60, romance arrived.  On today’s episode, Clare explains how she fell in love and began sharing her life at a time when she least expected. This episode is adapted from Clare’s Tiny Love Story from 2024, "Finally Finding ‘The Magic.'" [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/21/style/tiny-modern-love-stories-he-said-we-were-missing-the-magic.html] * How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] * How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks] Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, we’re sharing an episode [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/20/well/breast-reduction-trend.html] from another New York Times podcast: “The Daily.” For decades, breast augmentations have been one of the most popular cosmetic surgeries in the United States. But in recent years, a new trend has emerged: the breast reduction. Lisa Miller, who reported the story for The Times, explores why this procedure has become so common with Rachel Abrams, the episode’s host. This episode originally aired Nov. 20, 2024. You can find “The Daily [https://www.nytimes.com/column/the-daily]” wherever you listen to “Modern Love.” How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] How to submit a Tiny Love Story [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks] Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

It felt as if the dating world hit a breaking point this year. With news headlines like “Is Dating a Total Nightmare for You Right Now? [https://www.thecut.com/article/tiktok-videos-single-women-crying.html]” and “Why the Young and the Single Can’t Commit to Dating Apps [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/14/style/gen-z-dating-apps.html]” appearing frequently, it became clear that there was a lot of pent up frustration. We gave you all the opportunity to let it out, and asked you to send in voice memos about your worst dates. We enlisted the help of the actor Joel Kim Booster, who hosts the podcast Bad Dates [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-dates/id1671873182], to turn your worst dates into tidbits of wisdom for a brand-new year of dating in 2025. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times. [https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html] Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story. [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html] Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts [http://nytimes.com/podcasts] or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.