Let's Talk About it: Sex, Shame, and the Stories We Carry
Join us at the table today from Courage Conference as we examine story work in sexuality within the scope of marriage. The goal of this breakout session is to speak language around our experience of sex in a healthy and safe space, and to bring integration to the parts of us that have been left fragmented, confused, and even paralyzed by our own personal histories, traumas, and cultural world views. Please, seek the help of a professional therapist for trauma related to sex that is beyond the scope of this podcast. Your voice matters!
Discussion Questions:
1. How was the idea and design of sex first introduced to you? What language was used?
2. We all recall our first sexual encounter. a. How old were you? b. What was happening? c. How did this make you feel? d. How did this shape your view of sexuality?
3. What language do you currently use around sex? Do your words demonstrate duty, delight, disinterest, or even disgust?
4. Building on question 3, what are barriers in this season of life to sexual intimacy? (Poor self-image, low self-esteem, fatigue, resentment, stress, grief, past trauma, to name a few to get you started)
5. How can you build anticipation to set the stage for intimacy?
6. It’s all about intentionality, especially when you have littles at home. What are ways that you and your spouse can set apart needed time for intimacy?
7. For many women, sex can take lower priority with so many other things screaming for attention. On a scale of 1-10 what is the priority of sex for you?
9. Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Proverbs 5:15-19. SPICY! Sex is play! Where have patterns of intimacy become routine or mechanical rather than playful and stimulating? What are ways this interaction can change?
Prayer: Lord, you are the creator of sex and intimacy. Blessthe sexuality of this marriage and protect us from apathy, disappointment, busyness, disinterest, and unforgiveness that result in the dryness and failure of many marriages. Keep us pure and close the door to anything lustful or illicit that seeks to encroach upon our intimacy and take away anyone who would incite temptation to infidelity. Deliver us from the bondage of past sexual experiences and the effects of past mistakes that hinder a healthy view of sex in the present. Show us how to make sex new, playful, and alive that we would never seek to fulfill our sexual desires elsewhere. Open doors of communication between my spouse and I to express our needs, desires and emotions, prior to sex that we would come to experience wholeness and enjoyment duringsex. And, help us to never use sex as a tool of manipulation, but to understand it as an act of loving surrender - one that reflects the deeper surrender and intimacy that Christ desires with His bride, the church. Amen!
Resources: The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality, Sam Joelman https://a.co/d/aj7paOk [https://a.co/d/aj7paOk]Making Sense of Your Story, Adam Young https://a.co/d/1Kua3k4 [https://a.co/d/1Kua3k4]
Two Become One, Antonios Kaldas https://a.co/d/4Wo07Ad [https://a.co/d/4Wo07Ad]
The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of ChildhoodSexual Abuse, Dan Allendarhttps://a.co/d/e6I9ATz [https://a.co/d/e6I9ATz]Boys and Sex, Peggy Orenstein https://a.co/d/2dr7xm4 [https://a.co/d/2dr7xm4]
Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, Jay Stringer https://a.co/d/hbhPnmC [ https://a.co/d/hbhPnmC]
Here to There: Wild at Heart, Prayer for SexualHealing Prayer for Sexual Healing | Wild At Heart [Prayer for Sexual Healing | Wild At Heart]
What’s for Dinner: Keiaha’s homemade pasta noodles. Easy Homemade Pasta - Without a Pasta Machine - Nicky's Kitchen Sanctuary [Easy Homemade Pasta - Without a Pasta Machine - Nicky's Kitchen Sanctuary ]
