Conflict Owner's Manual

One person can change the cycle of miscommunication: is it you? 137

Have you ever had an experience where words are spoken but they aren't responded to? Words aren't always communication. Sometimes, exchanging words can even miscommunicate, like when everyone just repeats their position or talking points. Then, everyone feels disappointed they aren't understood.  When you feel like words are a waste of time, stop. Observe what's happening, and share your observation. Interpret the words out loud as if you are translating a foreign language. Acting as communication navigator is a conflict competency, and everyone benefits from your conflict competence. Send us a text. We love hearing from you. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2411114/fan_mail/new] Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

When they don't listen to your facts, do this instead 136

Even people you like can make you feel their opinions are attacking you. Sometimes, you have facts to back you up but they won't listen. You may not agree with what they say but you can't convince them that your facts are correct. Here are four alternative approaches so you can defend your position without getting defensive. When you understand them even if you don't agree with them, you're being conflict competent.  You can be skilled at conflict, unafraid of conflict, and competent to handle conflict, even if the other person in the conflict doesn't realize you are doing it.  show notes: episode 135: What to do when emotions keep you in a conflict? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0WqsOA1T0I&t=34s Send us a text. We love hearing from you. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2411114/fan_mail/new] Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

What to do when emotions keep you in a conflict 135

Is your opponent in a conflict lying, or do you reject their facts because you don't trust them to tell the truth? You may think that first you believe a fact, and then decide how you feel about the fact. More likely, first you have a feeling, and then, based on that feeling, you decide to believe the fact or not. For example, are you inclined to disbelief facts stated by a politician you don't like, and believe the facts of politicians you like?   There are better questions to ask than whether you or your opponent believes the one set of true facts. Show notes: episode 24: Who is correct when opinions differ? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zGxGYPFaYs&t=28s episode 42: What connects assumptions, beliefs and intentions in conflicts? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kuJFFWOxng Send us a text. We love hearing from you. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2411114/fan_mail/new] Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

How to get along with difficult people 134

Getting along with people improves your happiness. But, maybe you can't find a way to get along with difficult people. They trigger you to react, and that ends up in a conflict. The situation is not hopeless. You already have answers to three helpful questions:  what's your reason for getting along with the difficult person;  how can you be curious about the difficult person's perspective; and  where is the interaction with the difficult person happening? With your goal, their perspective, and the context, you have the skills to not get into a conflict. Show notes: Episode #38 What's more effective than calling out someone you disagree with? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bjA0DMhjh4 Episode #40 Are any ghosts haunting your conflict? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJSQcOGeQFI&t=1s Episode #114 Is perspective taking a skill that diffuses conflict? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKGq2mHa9Zk&t=4s In these videos, we show you how to be skilled at conflict, unafraid of conflict, and competent to handle conflict, even if the other person in the conflict doesn't realize you are doing it. Everyone benefits when you are being conflict competent. Send us a text. We love hearing from you. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2411114/fan_mail/new] Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

How to bridge the gap in your conflict competence 133

Everyone handles conflict somehow. But different conflicts respond to different conflict skills. Your skills gap is the difference between the conflict you have, and your ability to deal with that specific conflict. What's conflict competent at your home may not be appropriate for your work, or friend group. Reflect on your prior conflicts, and how well your familiar conflict patterns worked out for you. What conflict skills do you need so you can do conflict better? If you want your disagreements well-managed before the conflict gets bad, you'll want to know your skill gaps. Those are the skills to practice when you're calm. Conflict competence improves the quality of your relationships. Send us a text. We love hearing from you. [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2411114/fan_mail/new] Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share. Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.