One Cage at a Time

Fire Birds - #060

A lot of people forget what a cultural phenomenon Top Gun was when it came out in 1986, in fact it was so popular that it created a whole industry of cheap crappy knock offs including a 1990 film that had the bright idea to make the movie about helicopters rather than fighter jets. Nevertheless, like all of the other rip offs, it was a box office dud and was forgotten almost immediately. So, join us as we strap on our tactical helmets and fight for ocular dominance as we watch Top Gun’s schlocky, idiot cousin: Fire Birds A cocky pilot faces personal tragedy in combat so he is sent to an elite flying school where he must put aside his ego and overcome his own insecurities for the betterment of his unit and become one of the best of the best in the US military while falling madly in love with a gorgeous fellow pilot. Wait, sorry that was Top Gun… actually… that’s the exact same plot of this movie. Never mind Fire Birds stars Oscar, Golden Globe and Emmy award winning screen legend Tommy Lee Jones, Nic’s Guarding Tess nemesis and real life Marine Captain Dale Dye, the gorgeous love interest from Blade Runner and David Lynch’s Dune….and also Ray Finkle AKA Lieutenant Einhorn in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Sean Young and of course, the greatest, that’s right I said he is the greatest, HE IS THE GREATEST helicopter pilot to ever take on the South American Cartel, Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

Longlegs - #059

As we’ve seen in the past Nicolas Cage has an uncanny ability to literally disappear into a role like few actors are capable but usually if you stop a film like Pig, Adaptation or Dream Scenario you can still easily recognize him. But what happens when you cover all traces of Nicolas Cage with heavy prosthetics, ratchet the insanity up to 11 and turn him into the creepiest villain we’ve ever seen him play? We’ll find out as we take on the 2024 Ari Aster produced A24 horror film Longlegs A semi-psychic detective is tasked with solving a series of unexplainable murders committed by someone leaving cryptic letters at the scene while seemingly having no connection to the victims. What follows is a creepy lurid decent into the world of the occult, satanic ritual and, of course, murder. Longlegs stars former professional kiteboarder and It Follows star Maika Monroe, multi-hyphenate star of film, television and theater and Agents of Shield regular Blair Underwood, Orange is the New Black/Justified regular who made her acting debut as that creepy ass kid in David Lynch’s version of Dune Alicia Witt, and of course, a man we’d all unwittingly do the dark bidding of any day of the week, Academy Award winning actor who awakens the Mr. Downstairs in all of us Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

Dream Scenario - #058

If you love Nicolas Cage like we do, then this is a great time to be a fan. We’re living in the middle of the third Nicolas Cage renaissance or the Ren-Nic-Sance as we call it. There was the indie darling Ren-Nic-Sance the culminated with Leaving Las Vegas, the action Ren-Nic-Sance that was kicked off by the holy trilogy of The Rock, Con Air and Face/Off and now we’re in what I’d like to call the “I’m Nic Cage and I do whatever I want because I’m Nic Cage” Ren-Nic-Sance. Films like Mandy, Pig and the Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent kicked off this era but Nic proved this renaissance was just getting started last year when he starred in the Ari Aster produced horror dramedy Dream Scenario A typical boring, college professor dad is suddenly thrust into the limelight when thousands of people around the world start inexplicably dreaming of him but what starts as a fun global experience quickly takes a dark turn when the dreams turn to nightmares and he has to navigate the consequences of his new unwanted fame. Dream Scenario stars “that guy from that thing” character actor Dylan Baker, Emmy award winning actress Julianne Nicholson, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt regular and an actress who can’t help but make most men prematurely ejaculate Dylan Gelula, the Ladies Man himself Tim Meadows, a guy who can’t seem to stop flirting with his cousin Michael Cera and of course, the man of all of our dreams, Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

The Croods 2 - #057

When we last left the world’s first family, The Croods were on their way to box office dominance and started a journey to find the perfect place to live. Unfortunately for the entire planet the continuation of their journey was pushed back due to development hell until the fall of 2020 which for some odd reason wasn’t a great time to be hanging out in movie theaters. Nevertheless The Croods managed to make another small fortune and learned to walk upright again just like the rest of us with The Croods: A New Age The Croods continue their hunt for a new home away from the sprawling hellscape they left behind in the first movie only to stumble upon a walled-in idyllic paradise but there’s just one problem, this new land is already inhabited by some insufferable hippies who see The Croods as a bunch of unevolved primitive cavemen and soon hatch a plan to give neanderthals the boot and steal Guy for themselves. The Croods: A New Age gives us one of the final performances from screen legend Cloris Leachman, newcomers to the franchise - the amazing Leslie Mann and everyone’s favorite Imp (George RR Martin’s words, not ours!) Peter Dinklage, Hollywood’s go-to when they need a snarky character Ryan Reynolds, Oscar winner Emma Stone and two-time nominee Catherine Keener, and of course the cave-dad we all wish we could get into a cuddle pile with, Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - #056

The last time Nicolas Cage did a Marvel movie we ended up with the disastrously awful 2011 film Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance, so in true Nic Cage fashion he followed up that blunder with a masterpiece. So throw on your spider suit, tie the belt on your trench coat and pop on a fedora as we take a brief journey to the incredible animated world of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse After getting bitten by a radioactive spider from another dimension, teenage Miles Morales is forced to take up the mantle of Spider-Man so he and a group of Spider-People from the multiverse can stop the super villain Kingpin from activating a inter-dimensional collider capable of wiping out all of their universes. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse stars Dope star and scene stealer Shameik Moore, Rebooted Captain Kirk Chris Pine, Marvel’s new Hawkeye Hailee Steinfeld, New Girl star Jake Johnson, the new Blade (if it ever gets made) Mahershala Ali, Lily Tomlin playing a decidedly less stupid character than we saw in Ant Bully, SNL alum and standup comedian John Mulaney, Ray Donovan star and the Sabertooth we don’t talk about Live Schreiber, the voice of Baby Shark Kimiko Glenn and of course a real tough mug, yeah that’s right I’m talking a hard boy who can take down any biscuit boxer Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Kim Coppola better known as Nicolas Cage.