Sexual Assault Survivor Stories

190. Dr. Lori: Healing Every Day After Sexual Trauma

Dr. Lori from Still Whole Wellness returns to the show for a deeply thoughtful conversation about healing, spirituality, trauma, boundaries, self-worth, and the daily work of becoming whole again after sexual trauma. This isn't surface-level self-help language. It's an honest discussion about what healing requires when trauma has impacted the way you think, speak to yourself, trust yourself, and move through the world. We talk about the idea that healing isn't something that only happens inside a therapist's office once a week. It's something that must become intentional every single day. Dr. Lori explains how unresolved trauma can quietly shape every area of a person's life, from relationships and physical health to self-talk, spirituality, and personal boundaries. She also shares how her own experiences ultimately led her to create Still Whole Wellness and write her book, Still Whole: A Blueprint for Healing. One of the most powerful parts of this conversation centers around boundaries. Dr. Lori explains why boundaries are not restrictions, but freedoms. They are evidence of self-worth. We also talk about reclaiming your voice, subconscious healing, the role spirituality plays in recovery, and why survivors often struggle to believe they deserve peace, rest, or happiness after trauma. This episode is reflective, practical, spiritual, emotional, and incredibly human. Whether you are actively healing, supporting someone who is, or simply trying to better understand the long-term impact of trauma, I think this conversation is going to stay with you long after it ends. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://www.stillwholewellness.com/ https://www.projectcallisto.org/ https://documenttheabuse.org/ https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!)Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

189. Tracy DeTomasi, Chris McGee & Derrick Hurley: Why Men Must Be Part of the Solution

For this episode, I brought together three people who have become powerful voices in the fight against sexual violence: Tracy DeTomasi, CEO of Callisto, Chris McGee, and Derrick Hurley. What started for Chris and Derrick as deeply personal journeys after the sexual assaults of their daughters has evolved into full-scale advocacy work focused on changing laws, challenging rape culture, supporting survivors, and pushing men to stop standing on the sidelines. This conversation centers around the upcoming "Dudes and Dads" campaign with Callisto, an organization using encrypted technology to help survivors privately identify serial perpetrators and connect safely with other survivors. We talk openly about why so many survivors never report, why serial offending is far more common than most people realize, and why men need to stop viewing this issue as "someone else's problem." What stood out to me throughout this roundtable was the honesty. Nobody here pretends to have all the answers. We talk about mistakes, discomfort, fear, frustration, and the reality that advocacy work is exhausting. But we also talk about why staying silent is no longer acceptable. Men have to become part of the solution. Not performatively. Not occasionally. Consistently. This episode is ultimately about action. Whether that means supporting a survivor, challenging harmful attitudes, donating to organizations like Callisto, educating young men, or simply having conversations most people avoid, every one of us has a role to play. We normalize this conversation by actually having it. And we start by believing. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://www.projectcallisto.org/ https://documenttheabuse.org/ https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

188. Martha Gagnon: The Hidden Pattern Behind Coercion

Martha Gagnon joins me for a deeply important and, at times, difficult conversation about coercion, control, and what she ultimately came to understand as rape within an intimate relationship. Her story doesn't follow the narrative many people expect—and that's exactly why it matters. In this survival story, Martha's relationship with this particular person began as what appeared to be healthy, emotionally aware, and enlightened. But it slowly shifted into a pattern of pressure, manipulation, and control that escalated over time. Martha walks us through how coercion operated in her relationship—how repeated pressure, emotional punishment, and the eventual inability to safely say no created a dynamic where compliance felt like the only option. She shares, in powerful detail, the moment that would later become central to her healing journey, and how confusion, self-blame, and manipulation kept her from recognizing the violation for what it was. As she began to process her experience, Martha encountered something many survivors face: the gap between lived experience and legal definition. Despite being believed, her case did not meet the legal standard for rape in her state. That realization became a turning point—not only in her personal healing, but in her advocacy. She has since founded Define Consent Iowa, working to push for a clear, comprehensive legal definition of consent that better reflects the realities survivors experience. This episode is not just about one story—it's about a broader misunderstanding that exists around coercion, consent, and trauma. Martha's voice brings clarity to something that is often minimized or dismissed, and her work is helping others recognize their own experiences, feel less alone, and begin to heal. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. linktr.ee/defineconsentiowa https://documenttheabuse.org/ https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

187. Sophie: "If I Said No Again…What Would Happen?"

Sophie was 14 when she entered a relationship that, at first, felt familiar and exciting. Over time, that relationship shifted into something she couldn't fully understand in the moment. What began as connection turned into pressure, confusion, and a growing sense that she was responsible for someone else's emotions, safety, and survival. This episode traces how that shift happened. Not through a single moment, but through a pattern—pushing boundaries in public, introducing sexual expectations early, using guilt and fear, and layering in threats of self-harm. Sophie describes what it felt like to be 15 and trying to manage all of that at once, while still telling herself she was just trying to make things work. By the time the sexual assault occurred, she was already navigating a situation where saying no no longer felt like a real option. Years later, Sophie began to understand what she had lived through. Through therapy, reflection, and eventually reporting, she started putting language to experiences that once felt confusing and disconnected. Her story includes the reality of not being believed the way she should have been, and still choosing to speak. What she shares here is honest, grounded, and a reminder that understanding often comes long after the moment itself—and that doesn't make it any less real. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://havenspacecoaching.com/ https://documenttheabuse.org https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave

186. Joseph Born: The Hidden Reality of Child-on-Child Harm

Joseph Born grew up surrounded by the raw, untamed beauty of Alaska—a childhood filled with exploration, curiosity, and the kind of freedom that most people would associate with innocence. But beneath that backdrop was something far different. In this episode, Joseph shares the part of his story that rarely gets talked about with the clarity it deserves: child-on-child sexual abuse, and the lasting imprint it leaves long after childhood ends. What makes this conversation so important is not just what happened, but how it showed up—behavioral shifts, confusion, acting out—things that are often misunderstood, dismissed, or punished instead of recognized for what they are. We spend time unpacking what those early indicators can look like when a child doesn't have the language, the safety, or the understanding to say, "Something's wrong." Joseph walks through the weight of secrecy and shame that kept him silent, and how that silence shaped the way he saw himself and the world around him. This is one of those conversations that challenges the way adults think about behavior in children and forces a more honest look at what might be underneath the surface. It also brings attention to something that still doesn't get nearly enough discussion—how children can act out harm on other children, often without anyone recognizing the deeper context behind it. Joseph also takes us into his path forward. Therapy didn't erase what happened, but it gave him a way to understand it, to process it, and to begin to separate who he is from what he went through. We talk about what healing looks like in real life, and why awareness, education, and open conversations are critical if we're going to do better for the next generation. This episode isn't easy. But it's necessary. And if there's one thing to take from it, it's this: the conversations we avoid are often the ones that matter most. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://havenspacecoaching.com/ https://documenttheabuse.org https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in.--Dave