The Schmear Podcast

S4E6: Klay Thompson, Explain Yourself (Feat. Megan Thee Stallion)

This week: I scream over a mystery animal on my car, realize it’s basically May already, and flex my proudest 2026 achievement....my grass. Then we spiral into iconic cheating scandals (because… what are these men doing?? YES we are talking about you Klay!!!), put celebs and trends ON TRIAL, and debate reboots, crying videos, podcasts, and biopics. Plus: what we’re watching, listening to, and obsessing over. Unhinged. Opinionated. Necessary.

S4E5: Traumatized by Easter Ham

This week on The Schmear, cousins Alyssa & Hailey reunite post-wedding (we love love!! 💍) and immediately dive into the real issues: why Easter food is actually foul, whether complaining ever gets you anywhere, and the shocking tale of a nail salon crush gone VERY wrong (@Hailey you good???) We’re talking calorie deficits (or lack thereof), and a Bagel Bite segment packed with hot takes that might ruin friendships, like, are weddings overrated? Is it rude to regift something you'll never use?? And do we actually believe everything happens for a reason… be honest. Plus, our latest Eyes & Ears obsessions: emotional Hannah Montana nostalgia, chaotic TV returns *cough cough* Taylor Frankie Paul is no longer The Bachelorette, movies we’re already obsessed with, and why March Madness brackets are all fun and games (until you realize money is on the line) Let's chive! 🥯✨

S4E4: Finales, Fame, and Future Apology Videos

On this week’s episode of The Schmear, cousins Hailey and Alyssa say goodbye to February and spiral straight into hot-girl spring energy ☀️ We’re breaking down the couples fight that broke out at Hailey’s pickleball championship (unhinged), and asking the real question: if we woke up tomorrow with 10 million followers… how long until we’re canceled? Old tweets? Family drama? PR nightmares?? Be honest. Plus: Traitors, Survivor 50, chaotic Love Is Blind, Taylor Frankie Paul’s Bachelorette era, Ryan Gosling on SNL, and why Bruno Mars lowkey snapped. Press play before your Facebook memories resurface. 💀

S4E3: We’re Not Beating the Bad Outfit Era Allegations

Florida reunions, fashion regrets, and pop culture chaos 🚨 This week on The Schmear, Alyssa and Hailey recap a mini Florida reunion for Lindsey’s bridal shower, unpack their worst outfit eras, and argue over what’s overrated vs. overhated (celebs, shows, trends...no one is safe). Plus: accidentally watching Skyscraper and witnessing history, spiraling over Traitors (#JusticeForLisaRinna), celebrating Tell Me Lies being OUT, new Queer Eye, Grammys-eve chaos, and why we’re on the brink of a legendary music year. Unhinged, opinionated, and very cousin-coded. 🎧✨

S4E2: 2026 Is a Fever Dream

On this future-forward episode of The Schmear, Hailey Wilson and Alyssa Burns spread the cream cheese on everything new, shiny, and slightly unhinged coming our way in 2026. We’re talking TV throwbacks rising from the ashes (yes, Scrubs is scrubbing back in and Malcolm in the Middle is very much having a middle-age moment), plus rumors of the Spice Girls spicing up Las Vegas with a possible Sphere residency (zig-a-zig-ah, indeed). And because we can’t help ourselves, we close things out with a totally unofficial, extremely unserious mock NBA draft featuring our favorite players, scouting reports based purely on vibes. It’s nostalgia, news, and nonsense, all perfectly schmear-ed together. 🥯🏀✨