Become Good Soil

201: Styles of Relating – A Deeper Cut Series (Part 3)

“The main thing God gets out of your life is not the achievements you accomplish. It is the person you become. Spiritual transformation is not about behavior modification; it is about allowing the life of Jesus to permeate our whole being. This is a process that is slow, steady, and deeply relational. We become the kind of people who can naturally and easily do what Jesus would do, because His life has formed our life from the inside out.” — Dallas Willard Friends, We’d love for you to join us for the final episode in this three-part series. In this conversation, we take a hopeful look at what the Styles of Relating can become as we grow in maturity—as fear and shame loosen their grip, and as trust, courage, and love begin to shape our reactions more than our old habits do. Our hope is that you’ll find encouragement for your own relationships and a renewed sense that change, even slow change, is possible. We’re grateful to walk this road with you—toward deeper wholeness, steadier love, and a growing belonging in God’s Kingdom and Family. Please note there is a COMPANION PDF [https://storage2.snappages.site/98GBK9/assets/files/Styles-of-Relating_-A-Reflection-Guide-f-97.pdf] for this episode that includes deeper reflection questions for the Styles of Relating. You can find it HERE [https://storage2.snappages.site/98GBK9/assets/files/Styles-of-Relating_-A-Reflection-Guide-f-97.pdf]. It’s all been prologue. The best is yet to come. For the Kingdom, Morgan & Cherie

200: Styles of Relating – A Deeper Cut Series (Part 2)

“When we intentionally bring awareness to our internal world—our emotions, our sensations, our impulses; we begin to see the patterns that have been driving us. And once we see them, we are no longer bound by them. Awareness creates choice. Choice creates change.”  — Dan Siegel Friends, In this second episode of a deeper dive into Styles of Relating, we reflect on how fear, hedging, and self-protection show up in our relationships, in contrast to the moments when, by God’s grace, we find ourselves relating from trust, dignity, and self-giving love instead. Nothing has exposed and transformed our own patterns more than this work. Slowly, we are learning to pause, to notice what’s actually motivating our reactions, to identify when fear and shame have snuck in sideways. But here’s the gift: awareness really does open space for change. And that change has brought us more joy, safety, and connection in our marriage than we ever imagined. We are grateful to be on this journey with you—toward wholeness, deeper love, and a growing trust in God and His Kingdom. It’s all been prologue. The best is yet to come. For the Kingdom, Morgan & Cherie

199: Styles of Relating – A Deeper Cut Series (Part 1)

“We are born out of the laughter of the Trinity."  — Meister Eckhart (1260-1328),  Medieval Mystic Dear Friends, Around 2011, we discovered the work of Karen Horney and her insight into how humans relate to one another, especially under stress, in uncertainty, or for the sake of self-protection. Her work on the styles of relating became catalytic for both of us. It gave language to dynamics we were feeling but didn’t yet understand — why, despite our love for one another, we so often felt hurt, alone, or misunderstood. We were desperate for clarity, longing to discover what was not working, and what needed to change within us and between us to grow the kind of marriage we both believed was possible. In 2014, we recorded a live conversation exploring how our styles of relating had been colliding — and sometimes colluding — since before we were married. That conversation became Episode 9 of the Become Good Soil podcast, marking an early milestone in our journey toward healing and deeper connection. Now, we invite you to join us again as we revisit this territory. This is the first episode in a three-part series reflecting afresh on the Styles of Relating — a return to what these styles are, an exploration of how they may be showing up in our relationships, and an honest look at what it could mean to employ them in the service of Love instead of fear. We’re honored to walk this path with you. For the Kingdom, Cherie & Morgan P.S. If you haven’t explored our first two podcasts and the blog on Styles of Relating recently, we would encourage you to check out the following soul-nourishing resources as well: Wild, Unfettered, and Free - Jesus Modeling Styles of Relating (Blog) [https://becomegoodsoil.com/blog/2016/03/22/wild-unfettered-and-free] Getting Naked - BGS Podcast Episode 014 (Part 1 of 2) [https://becomegoodsoil.com/media/8ncz8v9/014-getting-naked-styles-of-relating-part-1-of-2] Getting Naked - BGS Podcast Episode 015 (Part 2 of 2) [https://becomegoodsoil.com/media/zv5p6wg/015-getting-naked-styles-of-relating-part-2-of-2]

198: The Process is the Purpose – A Deeper Cut Series (Part 10)

“There are some things that only time can do. Dynamite can't touch them.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower In The Scandals of the Kingdom, Dallas Willard names a profound tension between the person of Jesus and the dilemma of modern American Christianity. We spend vast sums of money and energy trying to get people into church. Meanwhile, in the Gospels, people tore the roofs off buildings just to get to Jesus. So much so, He often withdrew from the crowds—not to perform, but to be with His Father and to invest in a few trusted apprentices. Jesus was the most consecrated King who ever lived. And yet, while we strive to build platforms and leverage influence, He chose obscurity and intimacy and consented to the slow and steady work of His Father in the lives entrusted to his care. So we must ask ourselves: Why do we find Him hiding from crowds in places where we keep striving to be seen? If we are willing to be honest with both this longing to be seen and the desire to see immediate results for the fruit of our labors, we can access a precious part of us that becomes a fresh doorway to return home to the heart of God. This episode concludes a deeper cut series—an excavation of the foundational ideas unearthed through Becoming a King. At its core, we’ve been exploring a central, piercing question: How do we become the kind of men to whom God can entrust His power? Let me remind you—this path was never promised to be easy. But I can assure you: it is profoundly worth it. Over time, a compelling pattern emerges. Through the consent by day and by decade to the narrow road of deep apprenticeship, transformation is no longer just a hope—it becomes a lived reality. I see it in the stories, again and again, from men being led by God into deeper wholeness and restoration through Becoming a King [https://becomegoodsoil.com/becoming-a-king]. What once felt like a headwind—marked by adversity, resistance, and battle—in time becomes a tailwind. The strength and care of a good Father, ever present, begins to nourish and sustain us. A Father who is for us, not against us. Having committed Himself to our well-being, He relentlessly pours Himself into our shepherding and our apprenticeship. He is our tailwind. And even in our trials, in the end, we will encounter His exceeding kindness. In this episode, we conclude this conversation with some compelling ideas, questions, and stories from Outposts of Eden around the globe, thanks to the strength lent by allies John Scott Mooring, Pablo Ceron, Ryan Ruebsahm, and Chris Rice. Together, we’re looking deeper into the kind of King that Jesus is, and I want you to join us. It’s all been prologue. The best is yet to come. For the Kingdom, Morgan and Cherie

197: Living From Union – A Deeper Cut Series (Part 9)

“We are wounded in isolation and we are healed in community.” — Tim Keller What does it mean to be made in the image of a Triune God-in-Relationship? What if relational connection is the heartbeat of the with God life? What is a relational model for becoming a king or a queen, one who can steward from wholehearted maturity? We must begin by recovering our hidden life in God—the joyful intimacy available with the Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. Drawing our life from the Life of God, we move into relationships with our spouse, children, peers, and families—both our biological and kingdom families. Right where we find ourselves. On this day. In these circumstances. Perhaps even through these circumstances, God offers a creative invitation to shepherd us in such a way that the things which matter most are no longer at the mercy of the things which matter least. Join Cherie and me as we take a deeper cut into a relational rule of life and explore generative steps toward arranging our days so that more and more of us can be reattached to the Vine of Life. It’s all been prologue. The best is yet to come. For the Kingdom, Morgan and Cherie