Before I Go

Is the emotional cost of this worth it?

Marion and Dani return for S2, after some really honest conversations about the emotional and psychological cost of showing up authentically in this podcast. S1 began as Marion navigated what she understood to be her final year of life. She had chosen MAiD and was getting things in order. This shared podcast with Dani was part of her legacy. At the end of S1, Marion was approved for a miracle drug that slowed the progression of PH, giving Marion a chance to shift her perspective and revisit what it means to live with intention. Dani had to shift her role as care provider which raised a lot of questions. If daily—or even hourly—monitoring of her mom is no longer needed…, what does she do now? If her main purpose in life has been to care for someone else, who is she now? What does she do with the anticipatory grief she has lived with for so long? And what does self-care look like, when someone else’s care has been her priority?  Season 2 explores caregiving and the experiences of care providers with honesty. We’ll look at the realities of self-care and how we can and should reframe our attitudes towards taking care of ourselves. Dani and Marion have chosen to continue this sacred and meaningful work of normalizing these difficult conversations in the hope that other carers listening will feel seen, heard and respected. We will all continue to be honest and present on the next chapter of this journey.  Welcome to Season 2 of Before I Go. Vision Quest Communications, the producers of Before I Go, gratefully acknowledge the financial support of Indigenous Screen Office - iso-bea.ca [https://iso-bea.ca/] You can also watch full Season 2 episodes on our YouTube channel. [https://www.youtube.com/@BeforeIGoPodcastbyVQC]

Before I Go: Season 2 Trailer

Season 2 of “Before I Go” returns with mother–daughter duo Marion and Dani as they continue to normalize the conversations most people avoid: about death, grief, illness, and the systems that shape our care. Building on the profound impact of Season 1, they go deeper into the emotional cost of caregiving, what it means to be an Indigenous patient and caregiver within a healthcare system marked by medical racism, and the hard questions around MAiD (Medical Assistance in Dying) and why so few Indigenous people are able to access it. This season, Marion and Dani open up about the toll of sharing their story so vulnerably, the miracle drug that changed Marion’s prognosis, and the unexpected losses that still found their family. Through honest conversations, they explore intergenerational trauma, environmental and medical racism, emotional and medical justice, and the quiet, everyday heroism of caregivers who pour themselves into the people they love. “Before I Go” doesn’t promise easy answers. Instead, it offers a space to feel seen, heard, and held, one listener at a time. If you’ve ever navigated illness, loss, or the weight of caring for someone else, Season 2 is an invitation to keep asking hard questions and to remember to care for your own mind, body, and spirit along the way. *****CONTENT WARNING***** Each episode of this podcast touches on subjects related to trauma, misogyny, racism, medical racism, sexual misconduct, Residential Schools, as well as many aspects of death and dying. Self-care is our priority, and we ask that you please take care as you listen, step away for a break when you need to, and use the resources below for support.  Mental Health Support Resources: https://www.hopeforwellness.ca/ [https://www.hopeforwellness.ca/] , 24/7 telephone: 1-855-242-3310, Online chat [https://www.hopeforwellness.ca/] NIHB Mental Health Services regional office [https://www.sac-isc.gc.ca/eng/1579274812116/1579708265237#email] First Nations Health Authority (BC), Toll-free: 1-866-913-0033,  info@fnha.ca [info@fnha.ca] MAiD Resources: https://www.fnha.ca/what-we-do/healthy-living/end-of-life-journey/medical-assistance-in-dying [https://www.fnha.ca/what-we-do/healthy-living/end-of-life-journey/medical-assistance-in-dying]   Centre for Education and Research on Aging [https://cerah.lakeheadu.ca/resources/palliative-care-resources/]   https://nctr.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/When-the-Time-Comes-Final-Edit-and-Format3510-march-24.pdf [https://nctr.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/When-the-Time-Comes-Final-Edit-and-Format3510-march-24.pdf]  https://www.dyingwithdignity.ca/blog/reclaiming-cultural-teachings-about-mortality-grief-loss-death-and-dying/ [https://www.dyingwithdignity.ca/blog/reclaiming-cultural-teachings-about-mortality-grief-loss-death-and-dying/]  https://endoflifedoulaassociation.org/doula-list-maid/ [https://endoflifedoulaassociation.org/doula-list-maid/]  https://camapcanada.ca/ [https://camapcanada.ca/]  https://abo-peoples.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/CAP-2024-FinalReport-PEOLC-MAID_WEB_EN-.pdf [https://abo-peoples.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/CAP-2024-FinalReport-PEOLC-MAID_WEB_EN-.pdf]   Grief & Loss Support Resources: https://www.beendigen.com/programs/talk4healing/ [https://www.beendigen.com/programs/talk4healing/]  https://www.hospicenorthwest.ca/services/outreach-program/ [https://www.hospicenorthwest.ca/services/outreach-program/] https://lumarasociety.org/indigenouswellness/ [https://lumarasociety.org/indigenouswellness/] , 1-866-9LUMARA, info@lumarasociety.org [info@lumarasociety.org]  https://livingmyculture.ca/ [https://livingmyculture.ca/]  Indigenous Books on Grief and Loss:https://www.strongnations.com/store/item_list.php?it=1&cat=3027 [https://www.strongnations.com/store/item_list.php?it=1&cat=3027]  Residential School Support Resources: https://www.irsss.ca/ [https://www.irsss.ca/] , 1-800-721-0066 for Survivors and Their Families https://nctr.ca/contact/survivors/ [https://nctr.ca/contact/survivors/] , The National Residential School Crisis Line 1-866-925-4419 [tel:1-866-925-4419]  Produced with the participation of the Indigenous Screen Office, in partnership with YouTube Canada.

MEANING, PURPOSE & JOY

Dedicated to our brother and uncle, Bill Blue. Hard to fathom that this is the final episode of Season 1…what an incredible journey. Today, Marion and Danielle begin by talking about the illness their brother/uncle is facing, the pain of this reality, and processing difficult emotions. Dani addresses the difficulty of being a caregiver, recognizing the strength it takes to carry that burden. “Why me…just because I can?” She has the most beautiful answer - “No, it's because of love." Marion talks about their family’s growth, and generational healing - about creating new neuropathways for change and how cycles can be interrupted. And the courage it takes to continue to stand even when life knocks you down.  The two women also talk about how the podcast began on a personal level, but became educational and advocational. The episodes were not all about MAiD, but addressed the intersection of environmental, medical, legal, and educational racism and the lack of agency that impacts Indigenous people every day.  The conversation then moves to the knowledge and wisdom shared by our wonderful guests! We celebrate how they have each shaped their spaces, and we hold our hands up to them, and these conversations that have changed us.  And finally, this podcast began as Marion planned the end of her life. She will continue to do so, but was able to share that she has been offered a new medical therapy. It is not a cure, but it is slowing the progression of the disease and giving her more quality time with us. We even have an update at the very end of the podcast!  Such a positive conclusion to Season 1, this fills us with gratitude and hope. Thank you, dear listeners, for walking on this journey with us. We look forward to being together again for Season 2! Until then, take care of yourselves, and know that we see you.  *****CONTENT WARNING***** Each episode of this podcast touches on subjects related to trauma, misogyny, racism, medical racism, sexual misconduct, Residential Schools, as well as many aspects of death and dying. Self-care is our priority, and we ask that you please take care as you listen, step away for a break when you need to, and use the resources below for support.  Mental Health Support Resources: https://www.hopeforwellness.ca/ [https://www.hopeforwellness.ca/] , 24/7 telephone: 1-855-242-3310, Online chat [https://www.hopeforwellness.ca/] NIHB Mental Health Services regional office [https://www.sac-isc.gc.ca/eng/1579274812116/1579708265237#email] First Nations Health Authority (BC), Toll-free: 1-866-913-0033,  info@fnha.ca [info@fnha.ca] MAiD Resources: https://www.fnha.ca/what-we-do/healthy-living/end-of-life-journey/medical-assistance-in-dying [https://www.fnha.ca/what-we-do/healthy-living/end-of-life-journey/medical-assistance-in-dying]   Centre for Education and Research on Aging [https://cerah.lakeheadu.ca/resources/palliative-care-resources/]   https://nctr.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/When-the-Time-Comes-Final-Edit-and-Format3510-march-24.pdf [https://nctr.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/When-the-Time-Comes-Final-Edit-and-Format3510-march-24.pdf]  https://www.dyingwithdignity.ca/blog/reclaiming-cultural-teachings-about-mortality-grief-loss-death-and-dying/ [https://www.dyingwithdignity.ca/blog/reclaiming-cultural-teachings-about-mortality-grief-loss-death-and-dying/]  https://endoflifedoulaassociation.org/doula-list-maid/ [https://endoflifedoulaassociation.org/doula-list-maid/]  https://camapcanada.ca/ [https://camapcanada.ca/]  https://abo-peoples.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/CAP-2024-FinalReport-PEOLC-MAID_WEB_EN-.pdf [https://abo-peoples.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/CAP-2024-FinalReport-PEOLC-MAID_WEB_EN-.pdf]   Grief & Loss Support Resources: https://www.beendigen.com/programs/talk4healing/ [https://www.beendigen.com/programs/talk4healing/]  https://www.hospicenorthwest.ca/services/outreach-program/ [https://www.hospicenorthwest.ca/services/outreach-program/] https://lumarasociety.org/indigenouswellness/ [https://lumarasociety.org/indigenouswellness/] , 1-866-9LUMARA, info@lumarasociety.org [info@lumarasociety.org]  https://livingmyculture.ca/ [https://livingmyculture.ca/]  Indigenous Books on Grief and Loss:https://www.strongnations.com/store/item_list.php?it=1&cat=3027 [https://www.strongnations.com/store/item_list.php?it=1&cat=3027]  Residential School Support Resources: https://www.irsss.ca/ [https://www.irsss.ca/] , 1-800-721-0066 for Survivors and Their Families https://nctr.ca/contact/survivors/ [https://nctr.ca/contact/survivors/] , The National Residential School Crisis Line 1-866-925-4419 [tel:1-866-925-4419]

PART 2 - BECOMING WHAT YOU'VE NEVER SEEN.

Today, in the second part of our conversation, Marion and Dani talk with Myrna McCallum about choices. About the trauma we carry, and how it informs all of our choices. About recognizing that the legacy of being a survivor of trauma means finding the strength to consciously choose to face each day.  Myrna shares her path to making new and better choices, what led her to advocacy work in the legal system, and her belief that the practices of medicine and of law have a responsibility to be trauma-informed, to stop the cycle of pain and racism. And finally, Dani, Marion, and Myrna talk about gratitude for the time they have spent together and how open, honest, and authentic conversations can be centring, inspiring, and healing. Thanks for listening. Please take care of yourselves, and if you need to, make use of the resources listed on our podcast main page. Episode-Relevant Links: https://angelasterritt.com/ [https://angelasterritt.com/] https://greystonebooks.com/products/unbroken?srsltid=AfmBOoqhuCNYtQusjdLaUrhMK40ubfBurFr4fRpCXe7mfEIpHuc6w42K [https://greystonebooks.com/products/unbroken?srsltid=AfmBOoqhuCNYtQusjdLaUrhMK40ubfBurFr4fRpCXe7mfEIpHuc6w42K]  https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-trauma-informed-lawyer/id1514824294 [https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-trauma-informed-lawyer/id1514824294]

HEALING IS THE ONLY IMPERATIVE. PART 1

We would like to dedicate today’s episode to the memory of Ty Iron.  Today, Marion and Dani share a no-holds barred conversation with lawyer Myrna McCallum who shares her lived experience with incredible honesty and insight.  Together they discuss residential schools, the resulting trauma and intergenerational trauma - and carrying the grief of our ancestors. Looking at coping with despair and the strength it takes to choose hope, they talk about the idea that when we heal, we can heal what our ancestors could not. Myrna also shares her experiences as a lawyer, the need for trauma-informed lawyering, and the importance of giving consideration to the people who bring in legal issues, not the legal issues alone. And finally, about healing - about truthtelling, acknowledging trauma, never forgetting the past, and dignity for Indigenous people  As always, please take care of yourselves and if you need to, make use of the resources listed on our podcast main page. **Content Warning:  Throughout this episode, there is discussion of the devastating experiences in residential schools and Indian hospitals, and at the time codes listed below, there is talk of suicide and drug use: 9:47 - drug overdose 10:13 - 24:48 - thoughts of suicide 46:05 - 47:36 - drug overdose and death ABOUT Myrna McCallum: Myrna McCallum is Métis Cree from Treaty Six Territory (Green Lake/Waterhen Lake First Nation), and a true changemaker and a leading champion of trauma-informed lawyering. She is the host of The Trauma-Informed Lawyer Podcast and also acts as a subject matter expert and consultant on trauma-informed advocacy, procedure, and policy. Myrna is also an author of 2 books: “Trauma-Informed Law: Primer for Lawyer Resilience and Healing”, and “Criminal Law: Canadian Law, Indigenous Laws & Critical Perspectives”, and founded the Justice as Trauma conference, which returned for a second year this March in Vancouver. She has taught several courses on trauma-informed principles and is currently writing her memoir. In 2020, Myrna received the Federal Department of Justice’s first ever Excellence in Legal Practice and Victim Support Award. McCallum defines trauma-informed justice as a system rooted in healing, cultural responsiveness, equity and community relationships. It focuses on restoring dignity and supporting the mental and emotional well-being of those who have been harmed while also protecting the psychological well-being of those responsible for delivering justice. Episode-Relevant Links: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-trauma-informed-lawyer/id1514824294  https://goodminds.com/products/healing-the-soul-wound-trauma-informed-counseling-for-indigenous-communities-second-edition?srsltid=AfmBOop62zhSMLzaiZr_-5QJd7wocuFwz6INEsZo63msKCuIWu1v3WRG  https://markwolynn.com/it-didnt-start-with-you/  http://www.iap-pei.ca/story-eng.php