Bits of Wisdom with Terry Weaver

Bits of Wisdom Podcast #59

“True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one’s self; but the point is not only to get out — you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.” Henry James What is true happiness? How many people have found it? What percentage of our population lives in true happiness? I have only glimpsed it and grabbed ahold of it for moments, maybe a few days at a time, but True Happiness is something I continually strive for. Henry James had it right in my opinion — to have true happiness — we must get out of ourselves first and then figure out how to stay out. One of the best-selling books of all-time, The Purpose Driven Life, begins with the line, “It’s not about you.” The reason we have functioning bodies, the ability to love, empathize, and give is because we were made for others. Isolation and self-absorption are dangerous; they are a recipe for self-destruction. The hardest criminals on the planet are placed in solitary confinement and kept from human contact for two reasons: they are a dangerous and because a lack of human contact is painful. To be in isolation is a very real form of torture because it keeps us from what we were made for, others. Giving ourselves to others is the first part of Henry James’ statement; the second is having an ‘absorbing errand.’ What is an absorbing errand? It’s simply a purpose, passion, or mission greater than ourselves. It’s a personal striving that enriches those around us. If we can find our purpose, our fulfillment takes care of itself — our true happiness is a byproduct of doing what makes us come alive. “True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one’s self; but the point is not only to get out — you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.” Henry James Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe [https://terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Bits of Wisdom Podcast #58

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s. Their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” Oscar Wilde When struck with this statement, the question immediately came to mind, is this true of my life? To find out I inverted the statement: Most people are themselves. Their thoughts are uniquely their own. Their lives are original, their passions a reality. When I tested myself against these two opposites, I asked, which I’m closer to? This is a worthy exercise that can help us test the truth and authenticity in our lives. Are we being who we want to be? Are we who we were meant to be? Or, are we trying to become a version of acceptable or ideal? “Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us.” Which are you living? Whose thoughts are you thinking? Who are you mimicking? What unlived life are you avoiding? “Know thyself” is a philosophical maxim that was inscribed upon the Temple of Apollo in Greece in the 5th century BC. It was by thinking, questioning, and exploring that the Greeks invented drama, philosophy, democracy, and Western civilization to name a few significant contributions. Questioning and exploring ourselves is one of the most worthy pursuits of life. I hope these Bits of Wisdom help you along the journey of knowing yourself. Remember, Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s. Their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe [https://terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Bits of Wisdom Podcast #57

“Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness.” Anonymous What’s caging you? What have you been born into that’s limiting you? When I first discovered this quote, it hit me hard because I was born into an ideology that still affects me today. The process of being born and raised in an ideology is often referred to as domestication. It’s important to understand that most of us are born and raised in some form of domestication. Governments, religion, education, clubs, cliques, and cults all carry belief systems their subjects are encouraged to adopt, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad; these systems become laws we live by. They can limit us and even cage us. I recently took an acting class led by Christopher Tramantana, a professor at the NYU Tish School of Drama. Professor Tramantana teaches ‘clown’ among other forms of drama, but he is most interested in the ‘clown character.’ He shared why. The clown is the ultimate creator; the unlived self. The clown has no shame, which is why he’s free to create. His statement got me thinking about the boxes life tries to put us in and the way we willingly allow it, and even assist at times so that we can ‘fit in.’ When we begin to realize we’ve been domesticated, and on some level born in a cage, we can make adjustments to help free ourselves and begin exploring our unlived lives, begin trying new things, and gain our wings to fly. Remember, Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe [https://terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Bits of Wisdom Podcast #56

“Nobody can save you but yourself and you’re worth saving. It’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning then this is it.” Charles Bukowski Millions of people are drowning today, millions died yesterday and last week, and hundreds of millions in past years. Why? Because they were at war with themselves and didn't know how to overcome the battle within. Bad luck, fate, karma, or something else has a way of barreling down on us at times. I recently met a man who suffered from a tree falling on his head. He was placed in a medically induced coma and underwent multiple surgeries to repair the damage; this took place over many months as he healed. I later found out it happened when he was bull-dozing trees. Was this man struck with misfortune or mistake? Who will ever know? The misfortune we feel we’ve suffered is often no more than a series of bad decisions: to take another drink, or risk, or massage our pride or self-righteousness. These poor choices build up and eventually life reacts, and the choices avalanche upon us. If we maintain a victim mentality, we will have a tendency to look at life as unfair or even chalk consequences up as bad luck, but the thinking person will see that life is an accumulation of choices that either pay off or bankrupt us. Of course, there is a middle ground, but this message is for the person suffering for seemingly no reason, unaware they are drowning themselves. There is a common maxim in acting that states, “Never play the victim. It’s the weakest choice.” The same is true for reality. Victims seem to have tragedy in their blood. The man who left us the opening quote knows about drowning. He was an alcoholic, an abuser, and an all-around bad human until he realized at some point that: “Nobody can save you but yourself and you’re worth saving. It’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning then this is it.” Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe [https://terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Bits of Wisdom Podcast #55

“Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.” Seneca There’s great power locked up in this small statement. We should ask ourselves often, where are we headed? In what direction is our life pointed? What goal or dream or pursuit have we undertaken? If someone were to ask, ‘What’s your major aim this year,’ could you answer? If we cannot answer this simple question, we may be lost in our direction. A person without an aim to her life, is likely to end up adrift on a sea of distraction. We can get lost on a sea of distraction for years before we know what’s happened. The wonderful thing about having an aim for our life, is even if we miss our target, we are closer than when we started, and when we look back, we see progress and purposeful ambition; this is fulfilling in and of itself. Without a definite aim, it’s hard to see progress. Without an aim, our life begins to wander, and before we know it, we’ve wasted one of the finite resources we have. Time and tide wait for no man. One of the best ways to resolve this issue and find a definite aim, is to create one. You can develop a life mission, vision, and purpose statement, and these will give you something to point your life at. They can act as a compass when you become adrift. Having a vision statement in life gives us a guide to navigate the myriad of distractions and pitfalls that often take us away from our purpose and prevent us from living a life of significance. I’ll leave you with an example—my life vision statement. This small statement has helped me stay on track, especially when life has gotten tough and I felt discouraged. Inspire those I love and the world through my faith, creativity, and writing. Terry Weaver is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe [https://terryweaver.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]