NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

50% off Empowered Boundaries course Through July 4th! https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/?coupon=50OFFEMPOWERED [https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/?coupon=50OFFEMPOWERED]   Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 [https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989]   Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ [https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/] Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode): https://christyjade.com/somatichealing [https://christyjade.com/somatichealing] 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider [https://christyjade.ck.page/insider]   Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk [https://amzn.to/46dDSYk] TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg2MzRiMzkyZTBmMWNhZGZlOWUwMGRkay0tX0dvbGhKMEpr/o/VEMwNTMxNTI3Nzc1?ts=0.15]): Ever wondered why your narcissist experience feels different than someone else's? One moment they're charming. The next, they're ice, cold or worse playing the victim. In today's episode, we're breaking down the four main types of narcissists and how each one uniquely wrecks your piece. How lovely of them. So if you've been confused, stuck or second guessing your reality, girl, I've been there, but the clarity is coming. So let's go. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and drive ice and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here. To feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. (01:04 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg2MzRiMzkyZTBmMWNhZGZlOWUwMGRkay0tX0dvbGhKMEpr/o/VEMwNTMxNTI3Nzc1?ts=64.65]) Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself. Again, this podcast is for you, so steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. Welcome back to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast where we reclaim peace, power, and self-trust after narcissistic abuse. I'm your host, Christy Jaden. Today we're calling out the many faces of narcissism because not all narcissists look the same. Some are loud and in your face, some hide behind fake humility. Some are so covert you don't even realize what's happening until you've become a shell of who you used to be. So we're going to shine a light on these patterns and help you name the one you're dealing with or healing from. (02:04 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg2MzRiMzkyZTBmMWNhZGZlOWUwMGRkay0tX0dvbGhKMEpr/o/VEMwNTMxNTI3Nzc1?ts=124.74]) And queen naming it is a very powerful first step to taking your peace back. So you might be wondering, does it really matter what kind of narcissist I dealt with? My answer is yes. That's why we're here. So because the way a covert narcissist manipulates you is wildly different from how an overt one does, and if you don't understand the specific tactics used on you, you may keep replaying those wounds in your mind thinking it was your fault. So understanding the type brings clarity, which brings relief. We like that you love a little relief. Yeah, language to describe your experience and empowerment, to set those specific boundaries. That's the really, really, that's the gold right here. Or in some cases going full. No contact. If you are in a space, you can do that. So let's get into it. Number one, the overt narcissist. We can call this the obvious one. (03:09 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg2MzRiMzkyZTBmMWNhZGZlOWUwMGRkay0tX0dvbGhKMEpr/o/VEMwNTMxNTI3Nzc1?ts=189.79]) This is the one most people think of loud, arrogant, controlling, often very aggressive signs of that include bragging constantly like, oh yeah, and I got this house and I got this car. Or oh, even. It could even be an extension to their children. Oh, my kid does this and that, and yes, and I did that when I was young and goes on and on. Everything is about them and everything is grandiose. Then demeaning others to feel superior. They could be talking about people at their job. You could experience it. You're out with them to eat, and they're treating the wait staff like trash. They're putting other people down. The third thing is outbursts. When they are criticized, this is a big one. If you're familiar with walking on eggshells, this is probably them. They wanted control and admiration at all costs. So if they're criticized at all, even just a teensy bit, they are going to turn not happy real quick. (04:19 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg2MzRiMzkyZTBmMWNhZGZlOWUwMGRkay0tX0dvbGhKMEpr/o/VEMwNTMxNTI3Nzc1?ts=259.96]) Okay, number two is the covert narcissist. This is the victim. This one is sneakier. They seem kind, soft spoken, maybe even shy sometimes, but underneath they play the victim. They use guilt to control the guilt trips. Those are just the worst, aren't they? And they will emotionally withdraw as punishment. This one is huge. So think about that. Is the covert narcissist in your life? This is one of the big signs, emotionally withdrawing. You might not have seen that it was punishment, but it is. So we're starting to connect some dots here. You may have found yourself constantly apologizing and never feeling quite good enough, even though they acted like you were the problem. Okay? So you're apologizing when you feel like maybe you didn't do anything, but they're making you out to be the problem. Okay? So the third is the communal narcissist. This is the saint. (05:36 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg2MzRiMzkyZTBmMWNhZGZlOWUwMGRkay0tX0dvbGhKMEpr/o/VEMwNTMxNTI3Nzc1?ts=336.82]) They look like the good guy we talked about in a very recent episode. They can very much be the goodbye. A good guy, I can't speak today, maybe a pastor, a teacher, a charity worker. They look great. They're a saint to the outside world. They help others to be seen as a hero, though, not because they genuinely care. And if you're really close to them, you can see signs of that. But they'll say things like, I do so much for everyone and no one appreciates me. And this is a pattern, and this is a personality trait. So I just want to shout out to a lot of you moms here, we all might say that at some point, right? In our homes. So this isn't like anyone who ever says, no one appreciates me. We have our moments. This is a pattern, it's a personality trait. (06:38 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg2MzRiMzkyZTBmMWNhZGZlOWUwMGRkay0tX0dvbGhKMEpr/o/VEMwNTMxNTI3Nzc1?ts=398.27]) And they do it with many people that are close to them behind closed doors, and in a manipulative way. This isn't just a raw meltdown because they've just reached the end of the rope and they're having a hard day. This is a common thing for the communal narcissist. It's manipulation, masked as virtue. Okay, look at all I do and woe is me. Okay? Number four, this is, ugh, the malignant narcissist, the dangerous one. They're all dangerous, but this is a step up. This one combines narcissism with aggression and maybe violence. So first, they actually enjoy watching others suffer. (07:34 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg2MzRiMzkyZTBmMWNhZGZlOWUwMGRkay0tX0dvbGhKMEpr/o/VEMwNTMxNTI3Nzc1?ts=454.01]) Number two, on this, they can be emotionally or physically abusive. That obviously steps it up in the danger zone. And a lot of people come to me complaining about gaslighting. Ding, ding, ding. Here we are. They often gaslight and intimidate. If you felt scared or emotionally destroyed in the dynamic of the relationship you were in, please know you are not crazy. And I know you're probably starting to figure that out, but it can take a minute. You were dealing with the darkest kind of narcissist, okay? Think about that narcissist. I mean all around. Not good news. And you were dealing with the darkest kind and healing from this takes serious support and self-compassion, of course. So be good to yourself. Give yourself grace during this time. So what if you heard all those and you're not really sure? Sometimes they don't fit neatly into a little narcissist box. (08:49 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg2MzRiMzkyZTBmMWNhZGZlOWUwMGRkay0tX0dvbGhKMEpr/o/VEMwNTMxNTI3Nzc1?ts=529.1]) You might see traits from multiple types, and that is totally fine. The point isn't to label them with an exact name, right? One of these four or else, no. It's to understand what was done to you, how it impacted you, and how to reclaim your voice and your power now. So if you're still asking, well, why do I feel so broken after someone who seemed nice? Chances are you were dealing with a covert or a communal narcissist, and naming it isn't just validating, it is freeing. You can now know that and research even more. And I'll be doing more episodes. And obviously if you want to work one-on-one with me, we can go deeper into the specifics of the person you were in relationship with or that you're healing from. So we know what next steps to take specifically for you. So if you want to work one-on-one with me, I always have my link in there to do that. (09:57 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg2MzRiMzkyZTBmMWNhZGZlOWUwMGRkay0tX0dvbGhKMEpr/o/VEMwNTMxNTI3Nzc1?ts=597.12]) And if you are learning how to set boundaries with any of these narcissists, I have my Empowered Boundaries Course. Guys, this is 50% off because I don't know if I actually announced it on my podcast. I sent an email out, but I don't know if I announced it. So I'm going to extend it for a few more days. 50% off, which I don't think I've ever done that. If I did, it was a very long time ago. 50% off My Empowered Boundaries course. This is for any type of narcissist, how to set boundaries and not just with narcissists, with anyone, toxic with anyone, period in your life. So go check that out. It gives all the details and it's 50% off for a few more days. So get in there and grab your spot if you want that it is prerecorded, which is beautiful, you can do it at your own pace and always email me with questions. (10:56 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg2MzRiMzkyZTBmMWNhZGZlOWUwMGRkay0tX0dvbGhKMEpr/o/VEMwNTMxNTI3Nzc1?ts=656.64]) My email is always in the description box of the podcast in the show notes. So I hope this was helpful. If you want to go deeper, obviously sign up for one-on-one with me for coaching and that boundaries course. If you need, just help straightening up your boundaries, but you're not alone, you're not crazy and queen, you are coming back to life. I see you. I see your sparkle from here, okay? Alright. Until next time, stay strong. Let me see, let me see those muscles. Okay, queen, look at her. All glittery and strong. It's a beautiful combo and you got it. Alright, stay smiling and I will see you on Thursday's episode. Don't forget, please, please follow me on my podcast. It actually helps me reach more people and I love that. So if you could take just 30 seconds, if you are not following my podcast, please go to wherever you're watching it. (11:53 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg2MzRiMzkyZTBmMWNhZGZlOWUwMGRkay0tX0dvbGhKMEpr/o/VEMwNTMxNTI3Nzc1?ts=713.47]) Just scroll. It'll be sometimes they hide it a little. If you can just find whatever it says, follow so you can follow it. It really helps my algorithm to reach more people and it'll help and get that notification every time I post, which in this case will be Thursday because we do our thrive in five on Thursdays, which if you don't know, is some form of somatic healing that's healing from the body. Just short little exercises to do to help you get through this really tough time. Alright, I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, go ahead. Always feel free to share it with someone who could use it. I know sometimes we have friends or family members that also are going through a similar situation, so feel free to send them this and they can follow it too. Alright? The more people that can get this information, the less narcissists get away with, the more we shine the light on this, right? So let's make this a damn revelation revolution. Yeah, I'm tired guys. Alright, I will see you in the next episode. Keep that chin up and that crown high.

Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 [https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989]   Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode): https://christyjade.com/somatichealing [https://christyjade.com/somatichealing] Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ [https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/] ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ [https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/] 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider [https://christyjade.ck.page/insider]   Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk [https://amzn.to/46dDSYk]   Speaker 1 (00:00 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1Y2IyZjJhMjAzYzc0ODk4ODI2M2JmNHc4Q3ozd2JVRHlv/o/VEMwODM0NTAzMDYy?ts=0.9]): Hello Queens. Welcome to your anxiety reset. So if your thoughts are racing, your chest feels tight, or your energy is just all over the place, this is for you. And you don't need to fix everything. You just need to come home to yourself right here, right now, in this moment. So let's just take a few minutes to shift your state. So first, I invite you to place your feet flat on the ground barefoot if you can. And this can be inside your home, or if you want to pause and run outside, maybe behind your house or maybe, hey, if you want to go out into the woods and be free, go do that. But feeling the earth, the ground underneath you wiggle your toes. Now imagine roots growing from the soles of your feet down deep into the floor or earth beneath you. And you can say this out loud or silently, and you can repeat after me. I am supported. I am grounded. I am here. (01:21 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1Y2IyZjJhMjAzYzc0ODk4ODI2M2JmNHc4Q3ozd2JVRHlv/o/VEMwODM0NTAzMDYy?ts=81.45]) Okay, and take a deep breath as you let your body just land. Now let's do a calming breath pattern. Today. We're going to inhale through our nose for four seconds, and we're going to hold it for two. And exhale for six. So 4, 2, 6. Inhale through your nose. 4, 3, 2, 1. Hold for one, two, exhale, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And you can repeat this three times. Each time you exhale, imagine letting go of another layer of tension. And while you do these breaths, 4, 2, 6, I will speak to you with a little affirmation. So inhale four. With every breath I return to peace. I don't need to rush, I just need to breathe. (02:41 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1Y2IyZjJhMjAzYzc0ODk4ODI2M2JmNHc4Q3ozd2JVRHlv/o/VEMwODM0NTAzMDYy?ts=161.04]) All right, and we'll finish up our last inhalation and exhalation. Beautiful. Now we open the throat where stress and unspoken emotions, any of you have some of those they love to hide in the throat, right? So let's take a deep breath in, and this time, as you exhale, make a sound. Any sound, inhale could be a sigh, a hum, or a soft ah. Whatever it is, just let your body guide you. It will, you've got to feel free about this. Don't be shy. We're all here together. Let's do that again. Opening the throat, take a deep breath in and exhale, whatever. I sounded like a police siren. Whatever comes out is correct. It's right for you. All right, one more time. As you're inhaling, exhaling, I'm going to speak in affirmation to you. It's safe to let it out. My voice helps me heal. Yes. Now place your hands over your heart and your belly. Gently press in and feel your body rise and fall with your breath. And this time you can do it. If you want to inhale through your nose and out your mouth, that halo breath is my favorite. You're welcome to do that. Or if you just want to breathe at a normal pace or extra deep, whatever feels good for you, and I'm going to speak affirmations over you. (04:45 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1Y2IyZjJhMjAzYzc0ODk4ODI2M2JmNHc4Q3ozd2JVRHlv/o/VEMwODM0NTAzMDYy?ts=285.01]) I am safe in this moment. I am connected to myself. Peace lives in me. I love that peace lives in me. Let yourself sit in that for just a few more seconds. Peace lives in me. Yeah. How do you feel You did that? Five minutes. One nervous system shift and a powerful reminder. Your body knows the way home. It can find its way home if you give it a little space. If you want more tools like this, don't forget to tune in and follow my podcast. So go poke around. Sometimes they make it hard to find, but it's really important to help you be able to get the notifications every podcast that comes out. But also, do you know, it helps our podcasts, us podcasters, it us actually reach more people. When you hit follow, it helps the algorithm so that I am able to help more amazing queens like you. (06:08 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1Y2IyZjJhMjAzYzc0ODk4ODI2M2JmNHc4Q3ozd2JVRHlv/o/VEMwODM0NTAzMDYy?ts=368.33]) So if you wouldn't mind for yourself and for me, little Christie, Jade over here, if you could just find that follow button, I would so appreciate it. I'll give you the biggest, biggest air hug ever. And who doesn't want a little nervous system reset and a hug. Right. Alright. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. And I'm so proud of you for taking just these few minutes every Thursday. This is the Thrive in Five. Save these episodes. You can always go back to your favorites to just get a little reset. We all could use it.

Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 [https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989]   Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode): https://christyjade.com/somatichealing [https://christyjade.com/somatichealing] Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ [https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/] ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ [https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/] 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider [https://christyjade.ck.page/insider]   Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk [https://amzn.to/46dDSYk]   TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=0.15]): Hello Queens. Do you ever look back and think, well, he didn't cheat, or he didn't hit me, or he didn't X, Y, Z. Fill in the blank. So why do I feel like I'm still healing from a damn war? Let's talk about the nicer narcissists, the ones who smiled while they crushed your self-worth. Yeah, we're going to go there today. Stay tuned. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. (01:00 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=60.99]) Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, so let's talk about this nice guy or nice girl narcissist. They exist, right? And I have had my own experience with one of them and to the outside world, they are awesome. When you first meet them. They can be very awesome and charismatic and almost overly attentive in a way to you, but they end up as you get closer, and it can happen pretty quickly. As you get closer and more familiar with them and they get you under their thumb or in their spider web, whatever you want to call it, it can really shift and it can be a slow shift, or sometimes it can be a quick shift depending on how much control they feel they have, at what level they have control of you and feel like you're starting to be somewhat dependent. (02:23 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=143.22]) This can be romantic relationship, obviously, but there's also friendships that can be like this, or even boss situation ships, which is, I did have a situation like that where I thought I had the best boss ever until it quickly turned, and so that's a story for another time. But I feel you. I know what it feels like and you're like, they were a good guy, right? Maybe they never even yelled. They didn't lay a hand on you. Maybe they brought you flowers, polite to your friends, said they wanted to whine and dine you. So why do you feel so confused, manipulated, lost, whatever you want to call it. The truth is, just because someone looks and acts kind doesn't always mean they are safe, emotional abuse, isn not about the volume, it's about the control. There's subtle erosion. I'm going to repeat that. It's about control, and there is subtle erosion. (03:29 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=209.95]) Like I said, it can be quick, but usually it's a more subtle erosion unless they really rope you in fast. So that's exactly what the nice narcissists do best. So if you're wondering whether what you went through was bad enough to call abuse, let me tell you this with love, if you feel broken, if you feel like you lost yourself, if you're second guessing, your worth, your memory, right? Are you wondering, did that happen that way? Maybe I'm remembering it wrong. Your reality. That is enough. These covert narcissists, the good guys, they don't throw plates. They throw confusion. Okay? Look, they don't often yell. They withhold, they gaslight, they guilt trip. They charm the room. Like I said, they can be very charismatic and they make you feel like the crazy one. When you get upset, show any emotion, right? So let's break it down. Here are some signs that you were dealing with a nice guy, narcissist, or maybe you're currently in this situation. First of all, they rarely show anger, but you're always the one apologizing, right? So there is that shift of they might not show outward anger, but you always end up apologizing and kind of tiptoeing walking on eggshells. (05:11 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=311.2]) Two, they weaponized guilt, but I was just trying to help you, right? They're weaponizing guilt, and that's similar to three where they play the victim, I do everything for you and you're still not happy. Does that sound familiar? Number four, they're liked by everyone else. So you question your reactions constantly, right? Maybe these covert and over narcissists can often be a popular in communities. They can be leaders, they can be very good people, persons. How do you say that? People, A people person. But they're different with you. And it can be, like I said, that slow, slow erosion, the subtle erosion. So you kind of question yourself like, well wait, everyone else seems to love them, right? But that's very common, even with non narcissists. With abusers in general, they can be, they're not always, they can be abusive and jerks to everybody, but there are many that in the public eye, they're smiling, they're charismatic, they're overly accommodating or kind of love bombing, right? (06:41 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=401.48]) We're just giving compliments or, oh, you're so awesome and valuing people on the outside, but they don't. They go home and probably talk shit about those people and the people they're closest with, whoever is their victim or victims on their inner circle will get the treatment that narcissists give. So number five goes to they never said outright. Maybe they didn't call you names. Maybe they didn't say you're worthless, but you felt worthless in the relationship. So it makes it hard when you're like, well, they never said that. They didn't abuse me with the words, but somehow they made you feel worthless, and that is not on you, and you've got manipulated now to feel like it is maybe in your head or you question yourself, or you go back to that whole, am I remembering right? You are honey. You're remembering just perfectly your truth. (07:46 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=466.67]) Okay? So let's be clear here. Emotional safety, feeling safe in your emotions, in your body is not about how someone acts in public. It's about how you feel in their presence behind closed doors, and that's important. I definitely have had clients where it's very confusing to them where they feel like I must be the crazy one. No, they're acting different to you, but it's in a subtle way. It's not blatant. So you're questioning it. Don't question it. So you're not dramatic, you're not broken. You are conditioned to doubt yourself. Conditioning is a very important word in the narcissistic world. I say it a lot throughout, especially my recent podcasts, I've noticed because that word is a good one. If you're not familiar with get familiar with it, maybe you weren't outright physically harmed. Maybe they did not, like I said, scream at you, curse at you, but they manipulated and calculated and conditioned you to doubt yourself slowly and subtly, and that's why it's so hard to name A lot of the times it was slow. It is slow and subtle so much that you don't even catch it. So this healing journey from this specific type of narcissist is especially tricky, right? It's no easier because your brain was trained conditioned to justify their behavior. I want to say that again because this is a through line. With anyone going through narcissistic abuse in general, your brain was trained to justify their behavior. (09:53 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=593.97]) Also, your heart still misses the version of them they gave you maybe in the beginning, maybe the version of them that lives in the public eye that you wanted it them to be. That's a version. Guess what? It's a fake version. It's not reality. I know that sucks. You can't do X, Y, Z to make them be that way. That is not them. The true them that their inner circle, their victims will see is the version you got, and your body holds the trauma even when your mind keeps saying, but they were so nice or they did do this to me, right? I mean, let's point that out. There are highs and lows with these people. There's the more subtle lows than with the other types of narcissists that are more outward. But your body is remembering those parts, and your mind is trying to fight with your body. (11:08 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=668.85]) Like, oh, wait, oh wait, because you've been conditioned, right? So what do I love to do? Come on in class. Anyone? Anyone? Yes, you in the back? Yes. Listen to the body. The body speaks very loudly. If you let it and you listen, I'm going to say it again. The body speaks very, very loud and clear. When you actually let it and you listen, not when you have your mind, shut it down. Not when you feel your life with so much busyness and chaos that you're continuing, you're used to chaos and you continue the cycle. Even if you're away from the narcissist, you may still have a chaotic life because you're so used to it and you don't know what to do When you actually sit still and let your body, let your soul, let the silence let you speak. Sometimes it's scary to do that because there's trauma in there and it's not fun. (12:19 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=739.06]) But let me correct that. Okay, I'm Christie. Hello. I do somatic healing. Do you know this about me? And we actually, it can be a little intense, right? I'm not going to lie, but we can have fun too. I try to make this a fun empowering journey for you guys. So if you want to sign up for somatic healing, which is healing the body because it remembers and you want actual long term help where you are rewriting things and your body is actually releasing all of this, sign up. I have a link always in my description box of my podcast to sign up for somatic healing session. So it can be an enjoyable, empowering journey. It doesn't have to be dark and scary, okay? I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't let that happen. I keep you safe, and I do titration, which if you don't know what that is, you might if you're in the science world, but that is really going very slowly back and forth to make sure you are totally comfortable in every single session, every step of the way you will be taken care of. (13:39 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=819.22]) We're not going to retraumatize you. We're not going to let you go in a deep, dark hole. That is not the point. We are going to slowly heal the shit out of you. How's that sound? All right, I sidetracked there a second. So let's get back to it and wind things down. Here's what I want you to do. Step one, well sign up. Sign up for somatic healing with me. That will, I mean, I may be biased, but that will definitely help. But step one, besides that, validate yourself. Start saying it out loud. That was emotional abuse. Saying it out loud has helped me in my journey. And writing things down too, like putting pen to paper, saying it out loud to the world. That was abuse, that was emotional abuse. That clarity can be very, very powerful if you have not done that yet. (14:36 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=876.46]) Step two, you can track the patterns. Notice what you excused, what you believed, what you ignored, not shaming yourself. Look, we're not going to judge past us. No, no, no, ma'am. We want you to be aware to what? To just help yourself in the future. I don't want you to beat yourself up. I hear this so much with clients. I wish I would've seen this. I wish I would've done that. Well, guess what, Susie? We got to move forward. We're not going to live in the past, okay? We have this one life. I'm not going to let you focus on what you could have, should have, would've. We can all do that all day long. That's no fun either. Okay? So eat some chocolate cookies. Notice what you excused, what you believed, what you ignored, and decide what you don't want to do in the future, in your future relationships, whether it be romantic or friendships, right? (15:34 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=934.73]) What you're going to tolerate, what you're not going to tolerate, and do not be judgmental to the past, previous you. Be an encourager of yourself just like you would a friend, right? Step three, rebuild yourself. Trust. Ooh, that's a stinger. Self-trust is such a big word for narcissistic abuse survivors. It is hard to trust yourself after you've gone through something. You're like, how the hell when you're on the other side? And it depends where you are in your journey, but if you're on the other side, sometimes you get to a certain point. You're like, now, if I let that happen, all that happen, and now I have these kids and this, and there's a divorce, and there's that all this nonsense, you're so upset with yourself, it's hard to trust yourself again. So you have to start with small decisions. Say no when you may know. (16:34 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=994.07]) Say yes to your needs, because building time for you can actually build self trust because you are getting acquainted with yourself again, right? We're reclaiming you. So start small. Just start small with small decisions. Even just what do I want? Do I want that chocolate chip cookie? Hell yeah, I do. And eat the chocolate chip cookie and say, I really like chocolate chip cookies, right? Maybe your ex didn't let you eat cookies. Christie's here to say, eat the damn cookie. Okay? And step four, back to Somatic Christie over here. Get support, right? This could be a therapist. This could be me. I love helping women like you, obviously. That's why I'm here. I love doing this podcast. I love being able to create space for people who feel so confused and lost and give them some sort of clarity and guidance. I love it. But when I get to work one-on-one with you guys and impact you and watch, oh, it's the most amazing feeling to watch my clients go from just, how do you describe it? (17:54 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=1074.45]) This just lost, stuck, this stuckness, this loss, confusion, judgment on themselves. All the feelings you're going through, and to be able to be with you on the journey. And we get to heal. I get to help you heal and you heal yourself. How empowering that is that you get to do that. And when you're on the other side, I mean my clients, when they are on the other side, the holy shit moments and the amount of people who have said, I can't believe I am where I am now. I never would've thought that happened. And usually that's also saying, I can't believe that happened so quickly. People think, oh God, this is going to take a lifetime to undo the damage. No, it's not. Ma'am. We move quickly. My best friend doesn't call me Bunny for no reason. Okay? Again, I titrate to make sure you're comfortable. (18:59 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=1139.16]) But it's one of those things where when you go slowly and you do it the right way, you zoom out. It's actually a lot quicker than you would think. Hard to explain until you do it. So sign up for a session. Alright? So take two minutes today and ask where did I lose myself to keep the peace? Where did I lose myself to keep the peace? We might be surprised what comes up. So if this hit home for you, please, first of all, sign up for a session with me and send this to a friend who might be quietly struggling or loudly struggling. If you know anyone else that could use help with this type of relationship, situationship, whatever, please forward this to them. And of course, I always have My Empowered Boundaries course. I will link that as well. That's at your own pace. (19:56 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1YTE0ZWI5NTU5OTEyODVlZmMzZDljY0k1VTU4VEdmOFM5/o/VEMwMzY5MjM3ODc4?ts=1196.46]) You purchase the course and each week a new video drops, and that's 10 weeks, 10 videos, and you have a lifetime access to it if you really have a tough time with setting boundaries. But today, I feel like we're really also focusing on that healing from the body. So sign up for the one-on-one session. You're not alone, you're not crazy. I am here and I would love to help you. Just because he didn't scream or curse or hit you, doesn't mean you didn't suffer. And just because you're not bleeding on the outside doesn't mean it was not abuse. You are powerful. You are worthy when you say that I am worthy. Yeah, you're reclaiming your peace. One truth, that's your truth, right? Not their truth. Your truth. One truth at a time. Alright, until next episode we have every Thursday we have the Thrive in five, where I do some type of somatic healing, breath work, meditation, visualization, all the fun, every Thursday, little shorter episodes to keep you grounded. So make sure you follow my podcast so you get the notifications of the new episodes that pop up. I'm Tuesdays and Thursdays and stay royal because he's the Queen. Alright, see the next one.

Feel like you’ve lost yourself in the chaos of narcissistic abuse? In this 5-minute reconnection ritual, you’ll ground your body, clear your mind, and start remembering you. You’re not broken—you’re buried. Let’s bring you back.   Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 [https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989]   Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ [https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/] Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode): https://christyjade.com/somatichealing [https://christyjade.com/somatichealing] ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ [https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/] 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider [https://christyjade.ck.page/insider]   Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk [https://amzn.to/46dDSYk]   TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1Mzc1Mzc0MGRkZTU3MTY5MTRlMDUyQmF4a2ZsV0ItNFI3/o/VEMwOTA1MjY3NTk2?ts=0]): Hello Queen. If you've been walking around feeling like a stranger in your own life, this one is for you. So after narcissistic abuse, it is normal to feel lost. That is a very common thing because you have been surviving, you've shape shifted, you've been silencing your own needs, but underneath it, you are still there. That's the good news. You're there and you got a shiny gold crown. So today we're going to reconnect back to her fast, fierce, and focus. That's why it is thrive in five. Okay? Ain't, ain't nobody got time for all that noisy narcissist. (00:45 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1Mzc1Mzc0MGRkZTU3MTY5MTRlMDUyQmF4a2ZsV0ItNFI3/o/VEMwOTA1MjY3NTk2?ts=45.3]) Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Alright, so let's kind of shake the day off. Shake any emotions you have around this relationship, shake it off. That can be through your arm shaking. Maybe you shake your legs out, shake your feet. Alright? And if you feel safe, you can close your eyes or just have a steady gaze focusing on one spot in the room. Maybe feel your feet on the floor or if you're sitting, laying down wherever your body is, meeting the support. Now breathe in through your nose. Slow and deep exhale out of your mouth. This is a halo breath. It's my favorite one to just calm the nervous system. So we're inhaling. And you can imagine light, a beautiful, warm white light entering your body through your nose. And as you exhale, release the fog, the confusion, that noise of the narcissist and any relationship you have with them. Okay, in with the light, releasing the noise one more time in with the light. Hold it at the top and release. Really exhale, getting rid of every last drip drop of that nasty noise. Okay, so I invite you to place your hand on your heart and repeat after me. I am still here. (02:50 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1Mzc1Mzc0MGRkZTU3MTY5MTRlMDUyQmF4a2ZsV0ItNFI3/o/VEMwOTA1MjY3NTk2?ts=170.88]) I may have been silenced, but I was never erased. Go. Good. Every breath brings me closer to my truth. Beautiful. So we're going to do a quick visualization. Imagine yourself as a glowing outline, whatever color you wish, a glowing outline, dimmed but intact, fully intact, dimmed with each breath. And you can do again, the halo breath in through the nose, out the mouth, or whatever you're comfortable doing with each breath. Light fills in your outline, making it brighter, making it stronger, making it whole. That's your soul. It's not gone. It's just waiting. And she's ready. So imagine breathing in and exhaling. And each breath, just imagine this beautiful light filling every part of inside of your glowing outline. (04:19 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1Mzc1Mzc0MGRkZTU3MTY5MTRlMDUyQmF4a2ZsV0ItNFI3/o/VEMwOTA1MjY3NTk2?ts=259.75]) Go at your own pace. This is your light. This is your journey. This is you 2.0, baby, you ready? In and out. Wonderful. Now you don't have to find yourself. You are remembering yourself. And maybe you don't remember if you had childhood abuse where maybe you were dimmed at a young age and you don't even remember you were still there, which is very young. You are returning to yourself and every time you pause, you breathe and reconnect like we're doing today. You reclaim a piece of that power, of your power. You're not lost. You're coming home. Now, let's say that again. I'm coming home. Repeat after me. I'm coming home. How does that feel in your body? I am coming home. You get to be your own home. That is the most empowering thing in the world. When I started my journey, I remember I started to refer to my home like myself as my home. And it's so empowering. This is your home. This is your safety. And even if you don't quite feel there yet, keep doing these visualizations. Keep doing the work. Save some of these thrive in fives to come back to, because the more you do these, you are getting back to that part of you, right? That power. You're not lost, you are coming home. (06:28 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1Mzc1Mzc0MGRkZTU3MTY5MTRlMDUyQmF4a2ZsV0ItNFI3/o/VEMwOTA1MjY3NTk2?ts=388.1]) I hope this short visualization, meditation, whatever you want to call it, helped give you a little reset. And this should be a reminder to you that you are doing the work, you are taking the time out because you're still in there and you know can get back. You can to her. She's waiting for you. So I'm very proud of you and you should be proud of yourself. So let's all give ourselves an extra little hug. I'm hugging myself too. I did it. Look at me. Okay? I'm so proud of you. And don't forget to save these thrive in fives. They are wonderful to go back to whenever you feel like it could be. First thing in the morning while you're brushing your teeth, you don't have to be laid out on a bed. (07:29 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1Mzc1Mzc0MGRkZTU3MTY5MTRlMDUyQmF4a2ZsV0ItNFI3/o/VEMwOTA1MjY3NTk2?ts=449.48]) Anything is better than nothing when it comes to doing the mindset work, the body work, any of this. Okay? I am so excited you're doing this for yourself, and I'll see you in the next episode. That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your peace like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment. And check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

Feel like you’ve lost yourself after narcissistic abuse? You’re not alone — and you’re not broken. In this episode, we’ll unpack how the narcissist slowly erased your identity and walk through simple, empowering ways to start reclaiming your voice, your choices, and you. 💛👑   Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 [https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989]   Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ [https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/] Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode): https://christyjade.com/somatichealing [https://christyjade.com/somatichealing] ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ [https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/] 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider [https://christyjade.ck.page/insider]   Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk [https://amzn.to/46dDSYk]   TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1MGNkNmQ5ZmE0N2MwZDQ2YzZmMTdjNTVESGVic3Jmckt6/o/VEMwMzYwNDAyMDcx?ts=0]): Queen , you look in the mirror and wonder where you went. You hear your voice, barely recognize it. You've got fears, you've got doubts after Narcissistic abuse. Feeling like you have lost yourself is common, but it's not a weakness. It is a symptom of survival. But you are not gone. You are not broken. You're just buried beneath all the schleppy nippy. That's a word I did make up just now. But all the ways you had to stay small to stay what safe. So today we're going to start calling you that U2 0.0 back. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. (01:10 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1MGNkNmQ5ZmE0N2MwZDQ2YzZmMTdjNTVESGVic3Jmckt6/o/VEMwMzYwNDAyMDcx?ts=70.38]) I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, beauties. It's Christine. Today we're talking about something so many survivors carry quietly that aching feeling of being lost like you are floating through your own life, disconnected from who you used to be. Maybe some of you never even got to become fully that person or who you were supposed to become, but it's not too late. But I do hear this all the time. I hear I want to feel like myself again. (02:13 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1MGNkNmQ5ZmE0N2MwZDQ2YzZmMTdjNTVESGVic3Jmckt6/o/VEMwMzYwNDAyMDcx?ts=133.2]) I don't even know what I like anymore. I used to be joyful. So fun, that sparkle that we talk about. Where did it go? If you've ever thought those things, this episode is for you. So let's start off with how narcissistic abuse steals your identity. Okay? It isn't just emotional manipulation, this abuse, it is psychological erasure. Bit by bit. The narcissist dismissed your opinions, controlled your choices. They're always trying to gain control or see if they can get it back. So they're controlling your choices, criticizing. When you do have a moment that you may have an interest or something outside of what they're telling you to do, they will criticize it. So criticizing your interests, mocking your emotions. Oh, you're so dramatic. You're so sensitive and making you doubt your intuition, that gut feeling. They twist and turn things and manipulate so you doubt your truth until suddenly you stopped choosing. (03:33 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1MGNkNmQ5ZmE0N2MwZDQ2YzZmMTdjNTVESGVic3Jmckt6/o/VEMwMzYwNDAyMDcx?ts=213.31]) You stopped expressing. You started shrinking just to avoid the conflict, the rejection or the ever present rage of a narcissist. And over time, your nervous system learned this. Maybe it's safer to disappear. Seacrest out. I'm picturing that meme of, what is it? Homer, going back into the bushes, like reversing into the bushes. That little not meme, the gif, right? Maybe it's safer to just disappear back here, but disappearing is not what you are supposed to be or do, right? You're a queen after all. Okay? So that little light inside you, that sparkle, it's there and we're going to brighten it up. It just got dimmed, but we're here to reignite that. Let's throw some gas on that sparkle. Okay? So how do we do that, Christy? We're going to talk about three ways to start reclaiming you. So no pressure, first of all, and no perfection. But these are some things you can start doing little by little. So first, rebuild micro preferences. You're going to start small, ridiculously small. That's what you can handle right now. You have to build up. That's okay. Things like what's your favorite color? Now, it could be that simple. I literally have had more than one client when I've asked, what's your favorite color? They're like, I don't know. And then it can feel really disconnected, right? What music do you actually love? (05:23 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1MGNkNmQ5ZmE0N2MwZDQ2YzZmMTdjNTVESGVic3Jmckt6/o/VEMwMzYwNDAyMDcx?ts=323.38]) Do you like your egg scrambled or poached? What's your favorite movie? What do you want your room to look like? And you might feel overwhelmed. So start with the color. What color do you want your room? What colors do you want in your room? Just get a throw pillow to start, right? You're gradually building your micro preferences up. You'd be amazed how much of your identity lives in the details you stopped choosing. So ask yourself, is this what I want? Not what they wanted, what you want, what do you want? Okay, number two, talk to the before you. And this is for those of you who had aversion before this, right? If you had some childhood stuff where you had been dismissed and put down, this may not apply directly to you, but you can see, but this is especially for the people who got into relationships later in life and lost themselves. So think back to the version of who you were before. The abuse. What did she love? What made her light up? Even as a kid? Now ask, what did she need that she did not get? (06:50 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1MGNkNmQ5ZmE0N2MwZDQ2YzZmMTdjNTVESGVic3Jmckt6/o/VEMwMzYwNDAyMDcx?ts=410.72]) And here's where you can have fun work. Write her a letter, reintroduce yourself. Let her know you are coming back for her. And this time you're listening, you want to hear her and her preferences. Okay? So that's kind of a fun one, right? We get to do a tangible thing, write a letter. What did she need that she didn't get? What made her light up? Put it all out there. There's no right or wrong. There's no limit. You could do one page, you could do 40 pages. Number three, create yes and no lists. So if you're familiar with my work, that's how we always start with my one-on-one clients. And even in some of my groups, we do the hell yes, hell no. So you can start this. We go into it in a major way. That's amazing. But you can start small, okay? You have two lists on one piece of paper. (07:57 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1MGNkNmQ5ZmE0N2MwZDQ2YzZmMTdjNTVESGVic3Jmckt6/o/VEMwMzYwNDAyMDcx?ts=477.59]) You could start if you want to start small, right? Hell yes. On the top of one side, hell no on the top of the other. The yeses are the things that light you up. The nos are the things that drain you or disrespect you. This becomes your compass. It's how you begin to choose on purpose. Say that I want to choose on purpose. Say it. I want to choose on purpose. And each choice brings your power back, even if it's a small one, right? So think of something right now. Think of something that you just love. Let's say your ex didn't like you to eat a certain flavor of ice cream. He always just wanted his and didn't let you get yours, and you'd love mint chocolate chip ice cream. (08:53 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1MGNkNmQ5ZmE0N2MwZDQ2YzZmMTdjNTVESGVic3Jmckt6/o/VEMwMzYwNDAyMDcx?ts=533]) Write that on your list and want you to get you some this week, right? That's a simple, maybe silly thing, but it is a real thing. I listen to you guys, I hear all the stories. I know there are people who controlled you to the point that you couldn't even choose your own toothpaste, right? So go get that bubble gum flavor, toothpaste, and then the hell no things that drain you. I've got one. I've got one for you guys. I know some of you can probably relate. I have definitely had clients who can relate because of how we've been conditioned. We often feel like we need to be there for everybody and always be available, stuff like that. So one of my big ones that's on my hell no list is long phone conversations or answering the phone every time it rings. Stuff like that. (09:48 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1MGNkNmQ5ZmE0N2MwZDQ2YzZmMTdjNTVESGVic3Jmckt6/o/VEMwMzYwNDAyMDcx?ts=588.6]) You might be able to relate to that. That's draining. Especially if it's someone who's complaining or having a lot going on in their life. No offense to them, but you got your own shit. You got your own life. So you can either not answer or you can get on the phone and say, I have five minutes to talk. I got to be somewhere or do something. That's okay. That's build these lists. So you're knock on, you're right here. And these are some things that can help. There's plenty more. And if you work one-on-one with me, obviously we can customize your strategy there. So if you're feeling lost, if you're mourning the version of you that used to laugh more, sing louder, feel freer, please hear me. You did not lose her. She got quiet. She hid to essentially survive in one way or the other, but she's still here. (10:43 [https://www.rev.com/app/transcript/Njg1MGNkNmQ5ZmE0N2MwZDQ2YzZmMTdjNTVESGVic3Jmckt6/o/VEMwMzYwNDAyMDcx?ts=643.23]) And every single choice you make to show up for yourself could be small, could be big. You could say no when it's a no, say yes, when your soul lights up. Every time you do that, it's proof that you are coming home to you, to her. So you don't need to rush your healing. You don't need to have all the answers right now, but I promise if you stay on this path of truth true to you and self-love, you will find her again. She is not gone. And when you do, girl, she going to be so shiny and gold and sparkly. I am so proud of you. I'm walking this journey with you. Until next time, keep reclaiming that crown.