Deviants

8. Female Dominants: Why Do Powerful Men Want to Surrender? [Season Finale]

We tend to picture dominance a certain way. A powerful man. A compliant woman. The script writes itself. But what happens when that script is flipped? In our season finale, we're joined by Dr Ruthless — doctoral researcher, lifestyle Dominant, and someone who has spent years holding power that most people assume belongs to men. Together we explore what female dominance actually looks like, why so many high-achieving men consciously choose to surrender to it, and what that reveals about masculinity, gender, and the stories we've all inherited about who gets to be in control. We get into the psychology of surrender, the trust that has to exist before any power exchange can happen, and where the line falls between submission and self-abandonment. We also explore what feminism has to do with all of this — and why chosen power looks very different from imposed power. If this season made you feel seen — join the community we're building at Unbound Relating. It's for people who are done with the cookie-cutter templates for love and life, and ready to write something more honest. Find us at unboundrelating.com [http://unboundrelating.com]. We'll be back with Season 2 in the summer. Thank you for listening. 🖤

7. Inside the World of Kink: What Actually Happens in a Dungeon?

When most people hear kink, they think extreme, risky… maybe even a bit broken. But what if most kink isn't really about pain, or even sex? In this episode, we’re joined by Tim Richardson, House Dom at Killing Kittens, to explore what actually happens inside the world of kink, and why it might be less about extremes and more about power, trust, and the relief of letting go. We get into myths vs reality, what first-time experiences are really like, how consent and communication actually work, and where the line is between exploration and harm. Because maybe kink isn’t something separate from everyday life…maybe it simply takes all-too-familiar power dynamics and lets us play with them. To find out more about Tim's Dungeons visit brightondungeon.com [https://brightondungeon.com]

6. Do Labels Help Liberate Us or Lock Us in?

What happens when the word that once set you free starts telling you how to behave? POC. Queer. Divorced. Childless. Child-free. Single mother. Co-parent. Labels can build belonging and give language to lived experience, but they also come preloaded with expectations. In this episode, Nyla and Cole explore how labels shape how others treat us — and how we begin to internalise them. When does identity become performance? When does belonging turn into fitting in? And who gets to decide when you’ve outgrown the words that once felt like home?

5. Have We Forgotten How to Disagree with Each Other?

In a world where political disagreement can feel like living in completely different realities, curiosity is becoming a lost skill. What happens when we stop trying to win conversations and start trying to understand them? Drawing on Cole’s “News Swap” experiment with his conservative brother, Nyla and Cole unpack how algorithms, outrage, and purity tests are quietly eroding our ability to stay connected across difference. The challenge: learning how to disagree without shaming, withdrawing, or losing our humanity — in dating, families, friendships, and anywhere intimacy meets conflict. A conversation about curiosity, containment, and what it really takes to stay in relationship when you don’t agree. Listen to all three "News Swap" conversations between Cole and his brother here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/news-swap/id1834581051 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/news-swap/id1834581051] https://open.spotify.com/show/6ncfiIkr2gjyzJkbkhtU9N?si=50ae53731d3a4cc9 [https://open.spotify.com/show/6ncfiIkr2gjyzJkbkhtU9N?si=50ae53731d3a4cc9]

4. What Happens When We Get Intimate with AI?

Is AI replacing human intimacy? Or is it merely exposing how lonely and connection-starved we already are? At the centre of the episode is an extraordinary conversation with K, an AI researcher who formed intimate relationships with multiple AI companions. His experiences brought him new insight, relational complexity, and eventually a psychotic episode. His story challenges easy assumptions about what counts as “real” intimacy, and it invites us to question where meaning, vulnerability, and attachment are now being sourced. Nyla and Cole reflect on K’s experience without sensationalising it, drawing on big thinkers like Esther Perel, Brené Brown, and Microsoft’s AI CEO, Mustafa Suleyman to explore parasocial attachment, emotional outsourcing, and the risks of connection without accountability. This isn’t an episode about being for or against AI. It’s about what we’re reaching for, and what we might be avoiding, when intimacy gets easier than being known.