Why Men Seek Male Approval
In this special listener-requested episode of Clear Minds In Color, mental-health coach Robert Saint Michael explores the psychology behind homosociality — the way men form identity and belonging through the approval of other men — and how this behavior shapes emotional connection, power, and intimacy.
Originally inspired by a viral clip from beauty influencer Shamsi Rashid (@shamsiiito), this conversation takes a deeper look at how social dominance theory, gender roles, and cultural conditioning influence the way men navigate vulnerability and validation.
We unpack what these theories get right — and what they miss — about modern masculinity.
From the “protector” role in heterosexual relationships to the myth that male closeness threatens sexuality, this episode challenges stereotypes and explores how healthy brotherhood can be a space for care, empathy, and identity-building.
Key themes:
* The difference between homosociality and homosexuality
* How social dominance theory shapes belonging and approval
* The emotional cost of the “protector” role in relationships
* Gender role conflict and the struggle to be seen
* New research showing men are building vulnerability into masculinity
Hosted by: Robert Saint Michael
Presented by: Clear Minds In Color — evidence-based strategies for emotional wellness and modern mental health.
Learn more: clearmindsincolor.com [https://clearmindsincolor.com/]
Referenced in This Episode
* Shamsi Rashid — Instagram: @shamsiiito [https://www.instagram.com/shamsiiito]
* Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick (1985) – Between Men: English Literature and Male Homosocial Desire
* Gayle Rubin (1975) – The Traffic in Women: Notes on the Political Economy of Sex
* Sidanius & Pratto (1999) – Social Dominance: An Intergroup Theory of Social Hierarchy and Oppression
* Michael Flood (2008) – Men, Sex, and Homosociality: How Bonds Between Men Shape Their Sexual Relations with Women
* Jeff Hearn (2012) – Men, Masculinities and Gender Relations
* Mahalik, Burns, & Syzdek (2007) – Masculinity and Perceived Normative Health Behaviors in Men
* Frederick, Fessler, & Haselton (2016) – Do Men Suppress Vulnerability in Romantic Relationships?
* O’Neil, Good, & Holmes (1995) – Gender Role Conflict Theory
* Simon & Nath (2004) – Gender and Emotion in the United States
* Levant, Wimer, & Williams (2011) – Masculinity Constructs and Relationship Quality in Men
* Eric Anderson (2009) – Inclusive Masculinity: The Changing Nature of Masculinities
* bell hooks (2004) – The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love
* Raewyn Connell (2015) – Masculinities (2nd Ed.)
* Simon Baron-Cohen (2011) – The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty
* Christopher Boehm (1999) – Hierarchy in the Forest: The Evolution of Egalitarian Behavior