Mezzo by Chris Damian

My Pastor Lied, the Diocese Covered It Up… and I Stayed Catholic

In this episode, I’m joined by Paul Fahey, a former parish catechist turned licensed counselor in Michigan who now works at the intersection of mental health, Catholic theology, and spiritual abuse. Paul shares his journey from homeschooled, Steubenville-era zeal and a full-time job in parish ministry to walking away after years under a narcissistic pastor, a hostile work environment, and a diocese that refused to act—right up to a bulletin letter publicly shaming the entire staff.We talk about spiritual abuse as an abuse of power and conscience, why “he hasn’t committed a crime” is a devastatingly low bar for Catholic leaders, and how systemic betrayal in the Church can wound as deeply as individual acts of harm. Paul reflects on Pope Francis, fundamentalism, and moving from a transactional God to a “God of gratuitous love,” as well as why he remains Catholic even when he can’t always fully participate. We also explore survivors’ Masses, the Eucharistic Congress, hopeful universalism, purgatory as truth-telling, and the grassroots work of communities like Sisters of the Little Way and Awake. If you’ve been harmed by the Church, are wrestling with staying or leaving, or just want better language for spiritual abuse, this conversation is for you.

Can Religious Schools Take Public Money and Still Discriminate?

The Catholic case at the Supreme Court: Can faith-based schools receive public funds while discriminating? This episode unpacks a pivotal legal battle shaping the future of Catholic education and religious liberties in America.The Supreme Court case St. Mary Catholic Parish v. Roy tests a fundamental question: Can faith-based schools accept public funding and still refuse enrolling children because they have same-sex parents? In this discussion with Cade from gayextrad and Justin from Empty Chairs, we explore how Colorado's universal preschool program intersects with religious freedom—and what it could mean for thousands of children and families.Join us as we dive into the complex legal and moral issues behind the case— from non-discrimination laws to religious liberty standards. The briefings in the case question the very purpose of Catholic education: Is it insular community building or engagement with the outside world? How do Church teachings about sexuality and equality collide with the realities of publicly funded services? And what does this case reveal about the broader battle over religious identity and civil rights in the United States?We break down key legal cases like Employment Division v. Smith and Carson v. Mackin, and examine how they influence current debates. Plus, hear reflections about conservative Catholic educators, LGBTQ Catholics, and legal experts, on whether the Church’s mission is to create a closed community culture or to embrace an evangelizing Gospel.In a time where religion and law collide, misunderstanding and misrepresentation abound—from accusations of discrimination to claims of religious persecution. We highlight why this case is more than legal wrangling: it’s about what kind of society and what kind of Church we want to build— one that prioritizes inclusivity or one that shields religious institutions from accountability.This discussion challenges us to reconsider what it truly means to practice faith in a pluralistic society—and how legal decisions reverberate through the lives of real children and families.Tune in to hear nuanced perspectives and think critically about how laws shape our moral and spiritual communities—because the outcome could redefine faith-based schooling for generations to come.00:00 Introduction to the Case01:00 Background of the Universal Preschool Program02:45 Legal Context and Non-Discrimination Requirements06:04 Supreme Court's Involvement and Key Questions07:30 Understanding Employment Division v. Smith10:59 Perspectives from Catholic Communities12:50 The Role of Admissions in Religious Education15:32 Freedom of Conscience and Government Funding17:54 Protecting LGBTQ Families in Catholic Education20:40 The Dilemma of Catholic Identity and Inclusivity23:57 The Purpose of Catholic Education26:35 The Impact of Discrimination on Children30:52 Misunderstanding Religious Liberty33:33 Government's Duty Against Religious Injustice34:41 Misrepresentation of Catholic Teachings35:48 Discrimination Justified? A Catholic Perspective38:09 The Role of Catholic Schools in Society40:08 Diversity in Catholic Education42:36 Navigating Complexities of Catholic Doctrine45:09 Funding and Discrimination in Catholic Schools47:35 The Impact of Discrimination on Children49:38 The Gospel as Good News for All53:40 Conversations with LGBTQ Parents in Catholic Schools

Bizarre Things My Conversion Therapist Told Me to Do

In this episode, Christopher Dowling-Magill and Danny Peterson return to share the bizarre and often shocking things their Catholic conversion therapists encouraged them to do in the name of “healing” same-sex attraction. From “non-erotic” group cuddling and “snuggle prayer” to Journey Into Manhood weekends, skate-park inner-child rituals, deliverance sessions, and psychological warfare, they unpack what these practices actually looked like in real life—and how they shaped their bodies, boundaries, and beliefs.We dig into the theology and ideology behind this world: Christopher West’s sexualized sacramental imagery, Courage International’s roots in ex-gay narratives, spiritual warfare explanations for attraction, and the way bishops, dioceses, and “orthodox” Catholic therapists create systems where shame and boundary violations are baked in. The guests reflect on what it meant to realize they were not just victims, but sometimes led into harming others under Church-approved guidance.Finally, they offers a word of hope: leaving conversion therapy doesn’t mean giving up on growth. It means pursuing healing that doesn’t require changing who you are in order to be loved—by God or anyone else.00:00 Bizarre Conversion Therapy Practices01:38 Non-Erotic Touch and Holding Therapy14:56 Conversion Therapy Camps and Exercises19:23 Theology of the Body and Controversial Teachings23:28 Sexual Content in Catholic Ministries27:36 Church-Induced Angst and Sexuality31:28 Unethical Practices in Therapy33:39 Spiritual Warfare and Conversion Therapy41:33 Institutional Failures and Accountability49:37 A Nugget of Hope: Embracing Growth

The Pope Benedict XVI Argument For Gay Love

A deep, provocative conversation on how Christian communities confuse repression with asceticism—and how that confusion harms women, gay men, and anyone raised in purity culture. We explore the work of Alasdair McIntyre, Sarah Coakley Coakley, Augustine, Pope Benedict XVI, and the lived experiences of queer Christians to ask: What does a healthy, imaginative, morally mature approach to sexuality look like? And how can Christians tell better stories about desire, sin, and love?00:00 Repression vs Asceticism01:30 How Christian Sexual Culture Creates False Binaries03:00 The Unique Burden Placed on Women and Gay Men05:30 Why Avoidance Becomes a Moral Trap07:15 Repression as a Hidden Form of Hedonism09:00 St. Francis and the Disruption of False Asceticism10:30 Pleasure, Charity, and Divine Desire12:00 Marriage, Sexual Cycles, and Misunderstood Virtue13:30 Augustine, Sin, and the Logic of Charity14:45 Benedict XVI and Moral Development16:00 Trauma, Fear, and the Moral Imagination18:00 Why Stories Shape Desire20:00 The Church’s Failure of Imagination22:00 Why “No Gay Sex” Was Never Enough23:30 Toward Mercy, Vulnerability, and New Stories

Betrayed by Catholic Studies: My Story of Abuse and Institutional Failure

Content warning: This story includes discussions of suicide, sexual violence, assault and abuse, including clergy sexual abuse. If you're having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988.In September 2013, former chancellor Jennifer Haselberger went public with allegations that the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis had mishandled clergy sexual abuse cases. A few weeks later, the Department of Catholic Studies at the University of St. Thomas was grappling with accusations in its own community. Father Michael Keating, one of the department's most popular professors, had gone on leave. A young woman had come forward with allegations that he had abused her as a child. The story circulating among students was that she had misremembered and was lashing out because of mental instability. The head of the Department of Catholic Studies, Dr. Don Briel, knew much more than he was letting on. And all of this brought new pain as it was uncovered years later.So what happens when the Church’s silence and institutional neglect continue to allow abuse to flourish? In this latest episode, we explore the horrors behind sacred facades, revealing how charisma and ideology can mask devastation for decades. This episode isn't just a story — it's a call for accountability, a journey through trauma, and an urgent plea for renewal within an institution that is supposed to help those hurting, not harm them more deeply. Chris also shares my own painful journey from admiration to disillusionment, unpacking the scandal of Father Keating’s alleged abuse and the Church’s complicity, as well as the ways in which the Catholic Studies program at the University of St. Thomas furthered harm. And he also uncovers his past experiences of sexual violence in the midst of this. We’ll explore the how Church leadership ignores warning signs, and how a community’s silence can enable ongoing harm — often at the expense of the most vulnerable. We break down the systemic failures and explore the emotional toll on victims who had nowhere to turn, fostering both fury and hope for change.In this episode, you'll uncover: • The complex web of lies, cover-ups, and silence that allowed abuse to persist in Catholic institutions for over a decade• How charisma and intellectual brilliance can be tools of manipulation, enabling predators to evade justice • The subtle ways the Church’s teachings and community dynamics can foster silence and self-blame among survivors • The transformative power of truth-telling, healing, and holding institutions accountable in the fight for justice and renewal • Why acknowledging the ugliness is essential for genuine spiritual and institutional rebirth This is a story for anyone impacted by abuse, advocates for change within religious communities, and those searching for hope amid betrayal. The Church’s moral authority is at stake — but beyond that, so is its capacity to love and protect its most vulnerable members. 00:00 Trigger Warning and Introduction00:49 The Keating Scandal Unfolds02:12 Community Reactions and Internal Struggles04:44 Revelations and Reflections05:35 The Impact of Abuse Documentaries11:36 Keating's Manipulative Behavior13:42 Rage and Responsibility18:53 Institutional Failures and Personal Accountability23:18 A Call for Renewal and Accountability29:16 Reflecting on the Catholic Studies Gala31:07 The Weight of Silence and Misremembering34:21 Messages from Alumni37:33 Personal Achievements and Exclusion42:21 The Power of Inclusion and Belonging46:07 Reconciling with the Past and Moving Forward