No Returns

Choke by Chuck Palahniuk

The No Returns crew is joined by local musician and educator, Jessie Buns(!!), to slog through Chuck Palahniuk's 2001 novel, Choke! Alyssa Savino is a writer, a pop culture enthusiast, and is "deeply Midwestern." Subscribe to her newsletter, Soft Earlobe [https://softearlobe.substack.com/], listen to her "mini-podcast" (often about snacks) Xylophone Break [https://open.spotify.com/show/6Aax60dd1Nqw9muNlGDgYr?si=a55526445ea64124], and follow her on Twitter [https://twitter.com/heyitsalyssamae] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/hey.itsalyssamae/]. Kevin Krein was the host of the Anhedonic Headphones Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/show/4AWW2EKCgSmBCMFxZwM3Qb?si=60c89ee405914f9c]. You can read the things he has written about contemporary popular music, his poor mental health, and where those things intersect, on his website [https://www.kevinkrein.com/], and you can follow him on Twitter [https://twitter.com/KevEFly] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/kev_e_fly/]. The podcast's original theme music was written and performed by Blake Gardner. He performs as Blake Rules—listen on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5cdbXEnJgop6zjIxn4ljZ8?si=X9z0NIXVRPOROXqJrJtzew] or follow him on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/yeahokblake?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==].  Closing Credit Music: “Too Much,” written by Carly Rae Jepsen, John Hill, Jordan Palmer, Noonie Bao, and Sammy Leighton Clay; performed by Carly Rae Jepsen. Dedicated, Interscope, 2019. Episode Music Credits: “I Just Want My Vibrator Back,” written and performed by Prick. Self released, 2026 “Reckoner,” written and performed by Radiohead. In Rainbows, Self-released 2007. “There’s Been An Accident,” written by Greg Dulli; performed by The Twilight Singers. Powder Burns, One Little Independent, 2006. “Closer,” written by Trent Reznor; performed by Nine Inch Nails. The Downward Spiral, Interscope, 1994. “Touch Me, I’m Going to Scream Pt. 1,” written by Jim James; performed by My Morning Jacket. Evil Urges, ATO, 2008. “Orgasm Addict,” written by Pete Shelley and Howard Devoto; performed by Buzzcocks. New Hormones, 1977. “If You Feel It,” performed by Ms. Tyree “Sugar” Jones. Eccentric Soul: The Big Mack Label, Numero, 2006. “Corporate World,” and “Stealing Fat,” written and performed by Michael Simpson and John King. Fight Club, Restless 1999. "Chef’s Kiss,” written by Meghan Trainor, Grant Boutin, Brittany Amaradio, Caroline Ailin, and Mark Shick; performed by Meghan Trainor. Toy With Me, Epic, 2026 “Nightcall,” written by Vincent Belorgey and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo; performed by Kavinsky featuring Lovefoxxx. OutRun, Record Makers, 2013. “Fuck With Myself,” written by Alexander Shuckburgh, Tim Anderson, and Jillian Banks; performed by Banks. The Altar, Harvest, 2016. “Obsession,” written by Holly Knight and Michael Barres; performed by Animotion. Animotion, Mercury, 1984.

The Magic of Jelly: 100 New and Favorite Recipes

WE'RE BACK IN THE KITCHEN THIS TIME, trying out some recipes from this episode's featured title—The Magic of Jelly: 100 New and Favorite Recipes by Welch's. We're scooping jam, quarreling at the grocery store, and finally revealing Kevin's veganism journey!! Alyssa Savino is a writer, a pop culture enthusiast, and is "deeply Midwestern." Subscribe to her newsletter, Soft Earlobe [https://softearlobe.substack.com/], listen to her "mini-podcast" (often about snacks) Xylophone Break [https://open.spotify.com/show/6Aax60dd1Nqw9muNlGDgYr?si=a55526445ea64124], and follow her on Twitter [https://twitter.com/heyitsalyssamae] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/hey.itsalyssamae/]. Kevin Krein was the host of the Anhedonic Headphones Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/show/4AWW2EKCgSmBCMFxZwM3Qb?si=60c89ee405914f9c]. You can read the things he has written about contemporary popular music, his poor mental health, and where those things intersect, on his website [https://www.kevinkrein.com/], and you can follow him on Twitter [https://twitter.com/KevEFly] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/kev_e_fly/]. The podcast's original theme music was written and performed by Blake Gardner. He performs as Blake Rules—listen on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5cdbXEnJgop6zjIxn4ljZ8?si=X9z0NIXVRPOROXqJrJtzew] or follow him on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/yeahokblake?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==].  Closing Credit Music: “Too Much,” written by Carly Rae Jepsen, John Hill, Jordan Palmer, Noonie Bao, and Sammy Leighton Clay; performed by Carly Rae Jepsen. Dedicated, Interscope, 2019. Episode Music Credits: “Bootylicious,” written by Falonte Moore, Beyoncé Knowles, and Rob Fusari; performed by Destiny’s Child. Survivor, Columbia, 2001. “Sugar,” written by Mike Posner, Adam Levine, Joshua Coleman, Lukasz Gottwald, Jacob Kasher Hindlin, and Henry Walter; performed by Maroon Five. V, Interscope, 2014. “Peanut Butter and Jelly,” performed by Buckwheat Boyz. Koch, 2001 “Peanut Butter Sandwich,” written and performed by Raffi Cavourkian. Singable Songs For The Very Young, Troubadour, 1976. “Jellybelly,” written by Billy Corgan; performed by Smashing Pumpkins. Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness, Virgin, 1995. “Strawberry Crush,” written by Evan Cline, Sam Ashworth, Tanner Adell; performed by Tanner Adell. Buckle Bunny, Columbia, 2023. “Straw Buh-buh-buh-buh-berry Shortcake,” written by Andy Street and Judy Rothman Rofe; performed by Sandy Howell. Strawberry Shortcake, 2003.  “Sugar, Sugar,” written by Jeffy Barry and Andy Kim; performed by The Archies. Everything’s Archie, Calendar, 1969. “Straweberry Kisses,” written by Jeff Franzel, Andy Marvel, and Marjorie Maye; performed by Nikki Webster. Follow Your Heart, Gotham, 2001 “Fruit Salad,” written by Greg Page; performed by The Wiggles. Yummy Yummy, ABC, 1994.

Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder

The No Returns duo is joined by RETURN GUEST, Lauren Neumann, to talk about Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House in the Big Woods!! Alyssa Savino is a writer, a pop culture enthusiast, and is "deeply Midwestern." Subscribe to her newsletter, Soft Earlobe [https://softearlobe.substack.com/], listen to her "mini-podcast" (often about snacks) Xylophone Break [https://open.spotify.com/show/6Aax60dd1Nqw9muNlGDgYr?si=a55526445ea64124], and follow her on Twitter [https://twitter.com/heyitsalyssamae] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/hey.itsalyssamae/]. Kevin Krein was the host of the Anhedonic Headphones Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/show/4AWW2EKCgSmBCMFxZwM3Qb?si=60c89ee405914f9c]. You can read the things he has written about contemporary popular music, his poor mental health, and where those things intersect, on his website [https://www.kevinkrein.com/], and you can follow him on Twitter [https://twitter.com/KevEFly] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/kev_e_fly/]. The podcast's original theme music was written and performed by Blake Gardner. He performs as Blake Rules—listen on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5cdbXEnJgop6zjIxn4ljZ8?si=X9z0NIXVRPOROXqJrJtzew] or follow him on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/yeahokblake?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==].  Closing Credit Music: “Too Much,” written by Carly Rae Jepsen, John Hill, Jordan Palmer, Noonie Bao, and Sammy Leighton Clay; performed by Carly Rae Jepsen. Dedicated, Interscope, 2019. Episode Music Credits: “Little House on The Prairie Opening Theme,” “Little House On The Prairie Closing Theme,” “Shine On Harvest Moon,” “Blue Autumn,” "California Melodies,” and “The Christmas Tree,” composed by David Rose.  “Little House (Trixie Remix),” performed by Trixie Mattel, self released. “Music Box Dancer,” written and performed by Frank Mills. Music Box Dancer, Polydor, 1979 “Ocean Avenue,” written by Ryan Key, Ben Harper, Pete Mosely, Longineu W. Parsons III, and Sean Mackin; performed by Yellowcard. Ocean Avenue, Capitol, 2003. “Our Love,” performed by Percy Faith. The Love Goddesses, Columbia, 1964 “Over The Rainbow,” composed by Harold Arlen; performed by Liberace. The Best of Liberace, Geffen, 1972 “Arkansas Traveler,” performed by Pa’s Fiddle Band. Happy Land: Musical Tributes to Laura Ingalls Wilder, Pa’s Fiddle, 2005. “Irish Washerwoman,” performed by Pa’s Fiddle Band. The Arkansas Traveler: Music From Little House on The Prairie, Pa’s Fiddle, 2007.

Raw Food/Real World by Matthew Kenney and Sarma Melngailis

Alyssa and Kevin get FRESH in this episode, and prepare food from the recipe book, Raw Food/Real World. Written by Sarma Melngailis (as seen in Netflix's Bad Vegan) and Matthew Kenney (known for his dicey business and financial practices), this book aims to convince its audience that raw veganism is accessible. And decidedly not for ugs!! No Returns resident vegan, Kevin, has thoughts. And Alyssa is here for the smoothie.   Alyssa Savino is a writer, a pop culture enthusiast, and is "deeply Midwestern." Subscribe to her newsletter, Soft Earlobe [https://softearlobe.substack.com/], listen to her "mini-podcast" (often about snacks) Xylophone Break [https://open.spotify.com/show/6Aax60dd1Nqw9muNlGDgYr?si=a55526445ea64124], and follow her on Twitter [https://twitter.com/heyitsalyssamae] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/hey.itsalyssamae/]. Kevin Krein was the host of the Anhedonic Headphones Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/show/4AWW2EKCgSmBCMFxZwM3Qb?si=60c89ee405914f9c]. You can read the things he has written about contemporary popular music, his poor mental health, and where those things intersect, on his website [https://www.kevinkrein.com/], and you can follow him on Twitter [https://twitter.com/KevEFly] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/kev_e_fly/]. The podcast's original theme music was written and performed by Blake Gardner. He performs as Blake Rules—listen on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5cdbXEnJgop6zjIxn4ljZ8?si=X9z0NIXVRPOROXqJrJtzew] or follow him on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/yeahokblake?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==].  Closing Credit Music: “Too Much,” written by Carly Rae Jepsen, John Hill, Jordan Palmer, Noonie Bao, and Sammy Leighton Clay; performed by Carly Rae Jepsen. Dedicated, Interscope, 2019. Episode Music Credits: “The Juice,” written and performed by Hero. VHS Pop, 2016. “Orange Crush,” written by Bill Berry, Peter Buck, Mike Mills, and Michael Stipe; performed by REM. Green, 1988, Warner Brothers. “Hungry Eyes,” written by John DeNicola and Franke Previte; performed by Eric Carmen. Dirty Dancing: Original Soundtrack, RCA, 1987. “Another Brick in The Wall Pt. 2,” written by Roger Waters; performed by Pink Floyd. THe Wall, Columbia, 1979. “Music For A Sushi Restaurant,” written by Thomas Hull, Harry Styles, Tyler Johnson, and Mitch Rowland; performed by Harry Styles. Harry’s House, Columbia, 2022. “Juice,” written by Jason Evigan, Sean Douglas, David Macklovitch, and Patrick Gemayel; performed by Chromeo. Head Over Heels, Big Beat, 2017. “I Got The Juice,” written by Janelle Monáe, Pharrell Williams, Nate “Rocket” Wonder, Roman GianArthur, Nana Kwabena, Joshua Dean, and Tayla Parx; performed by Janelle Monáe. Dirty Computer, Bad Boy, 2018. “Juice,” written by Melissa Jefferson, Eric Frederic, Theron Thomas, Sam Sumser, and Sean Small; performed by Lizzo. Cuz I Love You, Atlantic, 2019.  “I’m Healthy” and “Salad Time,” written by Blake Gardner; performed by Blake Rules. Kids Trap and Kids Trap 11, self-released. “Healthy Foods,” written by Christopher Cerf; performed by Frank Oz. Sesame Street, 1988. “Shimmy Shimmy Ya,” written by Russell Jones and Robert Diggs; performed by Ol’ Dirty Bastard. Return to The 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version, Elektra, 1995.

The Girls by Emma Cline

This week Alyssa and Kevin return and discuss the book Emma Cline wrote while dwelling in a backyard shed—The Girls! Alyssa Savino is a writer, a pop culture enthusiast, and is "deeply Midwestern." Subscribe to her newsletter, Soft Earlobe [https://softearlobe.substack.com/], listen to her "mini-podcast" (often about snacks) Xylophone Break [https://open.spotify.com/show/6Aax60dd1Nqw9muNlGDgYr?si=a55526445ea64124], and follow her on Twitter [https://twitter.com/heyitsalyssamae] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/hey.itsalyssamae/]. Kevin Krein was the host of the Anhedonic Headphones Podcast [https://open.spotify.com/show/4AWW2EKCgSmBCMFxZwM3Qb?si=60c89ee405914f9c]. You can read the things he has written about contemporary popular music, his poor mental health, and where those things intersect, on his website [https://www.kevinkrein.com/], and you can follow him on Twitter [https://twitter.com/KevEFly] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/kev_e_fly/]. The podcast's original theme music was written and performed by Blake Gardner. He performs as Blake Rules—listen on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/artist/5cdbXEnJgop6zjIxn4ljZ8?si=X9z0NIXVRPOROXqJrJtzew] or follow him on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/yeahokblake?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==].  Closing Credit Music: “Too Much,” written by Carly Rae Jepsen, John Hill, Jordan Palmer, Noonie Bao, and Sammy Leighton Clay; performed by Carly Rae Jepsen. Dedicated, Interscope, 2019. Episode Music Credits: “Little Flame,” written and performed by Carsie Blanton. The Red Album Vol 2, self-released, 2026 “This One’s For The Girls,” written by Chris Lindsey, Hillary Lindsey, and Aimee Mayo; performed by Martina McBride. Martina, RCA Nashville, 2003. “Helter Skelter,” written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney; performed by The Beatles. The Beatles, Apple, 1968. “Never Learn Not to Love,” written by Dennis Wilson; performed by The Beach Boys. 20/20, Capitol, 1969. “Girl, So Confusing,” written by Charlotte Aitchison and Alexander Guy Cook; performed by Charli XCX. Brat, Atlantic, 2024 “What It Feels Like For A Girl,” written by Madonna Ciccone, Guy SIgsworth, and David Torn; performed by Maddonna. Music, Maverick, 2000. “Bad Girls,” written by Maya Arulpragasam, Nate Hills, and Marcella Araica; performed by MIA. Matangi, Interscope, 2013. “Love Land, “written by Charles Wright and Don Trotter; performed by Charles Wright and the Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band. In The Jungle, Babe, Warner, 1970.  “Whole Lotta Love,” written by John Bonham, Willie Dixon, John Paul Jones, Jimmy Page, and Robert Plant; performed by Led Zeppelin. Led Zeppelin II, Atlantic, 1969 “Nightcall,” written by Vincent Belorgey and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo; performed by Kavinsky and Lovefoxx. Outrun, Record Makers, 2010. “Leash,” written by Sky Ferreira and Jorge Elbrecht; performed by Sky Ferreira. Babygirl Original Motion PIcture Soundtrack, A24, 2024. “Dignity,” written by Erin McCarley and Evan Hutchings; performed by Erin McCarley. Yu Yi, self-released, 2017.