Perspectives: Listening
I’ll be honest, this episode has been sitting on our agenda for ages.
Jennie and I have explored a lot of subjects on our podcast. Sleep. Identity. Discovery. Shyness. Motivation. Digital Balance. Third Spaces etc. But listening, really sitting down and dedicating a whole episode to listening, has been well overdue. Because in many ways, it’s the thread running through everything we do at The Informed Perspective. It’s the reason behind everything we do.
We were joined by three incredible guests, Corine Jansen, co-founder of the Global Listening Movement; Jenny Smith, a receptive listening practitioner; and Dr. John Coleman OBE, a psychologist who specialises in parent-teen communication. Between them, they brought such different perspectives to the table.
Something Corine said really stopped me in my tracks. She talked about how the real question in listening isn't whether you meant to listen well, it's whether the other person actually felt heard. And when I think about conversations I've had, or ones I've been on the wrong end of, that really hit home.
Jenny brought in something I hadn’t come across before, the idea of co-regulation. That when one person in a conversation is genuinely present and grounded, the other person’s nervous system actually starts to settle. Listening isn’t just emotional. It’s physiological. I found that genuinely fascinating.
And then John spoke about teenagers in a way that I think every parent needs to hear. The teenage brain is going through enormous restructuring and understanding that, changes everything about how we show up for the conversations that matter most.
But honestly? The moment that got me most was at the end. We always close with a question from one of our tween contributors. And this time it was:
“Why do adults always say ‘listen more’ — but never seem to do it themselves?”
None of our guests could fully argue with the premise. Corine’s answer was the one I keep thinking about, she said that when most adults tell a child to “listen,” what they actually mean is “obey.” And that real listening only begins when our need to be right becomes slightly less important than the reality of the other person. That’s a hard thing to sit with. But worth considering.
Jennie admitted that her boys are now so conditioned to hearing “listen” as a command that even when she genuinely wants to share something with them, they brace themselves first. I completely relate to that.
And my youngest, who is 7, has started turning it back on me. Very calmly, he’ll say: “Mummy, you’re always talking about listening. Now you need to listen to me.” Which is, frankly, fair enough. 😄
This is exactly why we created our Are You REALLY Listening? events, intentional spaces where parents and young people come together to actually hear each other. In a world that pulls us in every direction, making that space deliberately feels more important than ever. And this episode is the heartbeat of all of that.
This episode also connects to something bigger that I’m working on, a research project exploring how well we truly listen to one another in today’s world. If you haven’t already, I’d love it if you took five minutes to fill in the questionnaire. It’s completely anonymous, open to absolutely everyone, and every single response genuinely matters.
👉 Link to Take Part [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdpxyabWEa8enyuTZGt3rJysbp5_Dsj5OiYpJzlu0UpQ5wxSQ/viewform]
I’ll be sharing the findings once they’re collated and I can’t wait to find out what everyone is thinking and experiencing.
In the meantime, press play and notice how you are listening today.
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