Raised on Shame

There Are No Wrong Answers

There Are No Wrong Answers Consent, God, and ASMR: Raised on Shame, Kids Edition Season One Finale In this special Mother’s Day season finale of Raised on Shame, Kimberly sits down with her daughters for tea, questions, giggles, and an unscripted conversation about God, love, shame, consent, death, boundaries, curiosity, and the questions adults are sometimes afraid to answer. Together, they explore: * what love feels like * whether grownups know everything * what consent means * what shame feels like * what happens after people die * why asking questions matters * and what it sounds like when children are allowed to think out loud without fear This episode is messy, funny, thoughtful, philosophical, tender, distracting, sincere, and deeply human. Topics discussed include: * emotional safety * shame-free parenting * spirituality and faith * bodily autonomy * consent and boundaries * grief and death * childhood curiosity * raising children without fear-based conversations Books & Resources Mentioned * Let’s Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent and Respect A children’s book focused on body ownership, consent, respectful relationships, boundaries, and emotional safety. Midtown Reader [https://midtownreader.com/book/9781925089189?utm_source=chatgpt.com] * Amazing You!: Getting Smart About Your Private Parts A body-awareness book for young children focused on anatomy, privacy, boundaries, and age-appropriate conversations about bodies. Midtown Reader [https://midtownreader.com/book/9780142410585?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Listener Reflection Take a quiet moment sometime this week and ask yourself: “What questions was I afraid to ask as a child?” Or: “What parts of myself learned that curiosity was unsafe?” You do not have to solve those questions. Just notice them. And if you have children in your life, maybe ask them a real question and let their answer exist without correcting it. If this episode resonated with you: * follow the podcast * leave a rating or review * share the episode with someone you trust * or send a message about what stood out to you Disclaimer Raised on Shame is a storytelling and conversational podcast and is not a substitute for therapy, mental health treatment, medical advice, or crisis services. The views shared in this episode are personal reflections and lived experiences intended for educational and reflective purposes only. Connect with Kimberly and find additonal resources at wildertally.com [https://www.wildertally.com?utm_source=chatgpt.com] If this episode resonated with you: * follow the podcast * leave a rating or review * share the episode with someone you trust * or send a message about what stood out to you Thank you for listening to season one of Raised on Shame.

Faith, Shame, and the Stories We Inherit

In this episode, Kimberly Wilder, LMHC sits down with filmmaker and storyteller Candace Young for a deeply personal conversation about faith, identity, and the stories that shape us. What happens when two people grow up with completely different experiences of Christianity and still choose to sit at the same table and talk about it? Kimberly Wilder, LMHC shares her experience of growing up in a highly rule-based, shame-driven religious environment in the South. Candace offers a contrasting perspective, describing a childhood where faith was modeled through love, connection, and lived example rather than control. Together, they explore what it means to question what you were taught, to define your own beliefs, and to navigate spirituality on your own terms. This conversation moves through: * religious trauma versus relational spirituality * how shame forms across different life experiences * racism, identity, and feeling like an outsider * adoption, belonging, and internalized narratives of feeling unwanted * the pressure placed on women to carry and care for everything * learning to trust your own voice and intuition * interdependence and asking for help without guilt * purity culture, silence around sex, and generational patterns * grief, death, and evolving beliefs about what comes after At its core, this episode is about connection. Not agreement. Not conversion. Just the willingness to listen, to hold space, and to let different truths exist side by side. Resources & Media Mentioned * The Motorcycle Diaries (film) [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0318462/] * American Pie (film) [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0163651/?ref_=fn_t_1] * The Pitt (TV show) [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt31938062/?ref_=fn_t_1] * Claws (TV series) [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5640558/] * Let Us Prey (Documentary) [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt29926213/] * Mickee Faust Club (Tallahassee theater collective) [https://www.mickeefaust.com/] * Five Wishes (end-of-life planning resource) [https://www.fivewishes.org/]

You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone

In this episode of Raised on Shame, we explore the role of community in healing. This conversation centers on a truth that often gets overlooked in trauma work: healing does not happen in isolation. While many of us have learned to cope, survive, and even function on our own, those adaptations often come at the cost of connection. We talk about what happens when shame is carried alone, how trauma can disrupt our sense of belonging, and why safe, attuned relationships are not optional in the healing process, they are essential. This episode invites you to consider: * How isolation may have been an adaptive response, not a personal failure * What it means to experience being seen and understood without judgment * How community can begin to shift long-held patterns of shame * What safe connection actually looks like, beyond surface-level interaction There is also space in this conversation for the complexity of community. For many, connection has not always been safe. Rebuilding trust in relationships can be slow, layered, and deeply personal. If you have ever felt like you were carrying too much on your own, this episode is for you. Resources & Support This podcast is not a substitute for therapy.If this episode brought anything up for you, support matters. You can find additional resources www.wildertally.com/resources [https://www.wildertally.com/resources] Guest Information Deborah Jean Nielsen, LMFT, ATR-BC, EMDR Certified Therapist, EMDRIA Approved Consultant You can find her: * website www.deborahnielsen.com [www.deborahnielsen.com] * book Breaking Whole [https://www.audible.com/pd/Breaking-Whole-Audiobook/B0F2GMD55X?loginAttempt=true&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1&ref_pageloadid=not_applicable&plink=QNvoeYrrgeahqk22&pageLoadId=vJhXidYgcSK2lu5h&qid=1743526296&creativeId=0d6f6720-f41c-457e-a42b-8c8dceb62f2c&sr=1-1&showAmznLopSignalBanner=true] Stay Connected Season one of Raised on Shame is coming to a close soon. If you want to stay connected for the final episodes and what’s coming next, follow the podcast so you don’t miss future releases. About the Podcast Raised on Shame explores trauma, shame, and healing through honest conversations that bridge clinical understanding and lived experience.

The Shows That Raised Me

I wasn’t raised by television. But I learned how to live from it. In this episode, I introduce myself through the shows that shaped me, because for a long time, they were my only access to the world outside the one I grew up in. Raised in a controlled environment, I wasn’t just watching TV. I was studying it. Learning relationships, desire, identity, and belonging from fragments. And trying to build a self from that. This episode is about exposure, what happens when you grow up without a shared cultural language, and what it takes to unlearn the stories that were never fully yours. If you’ve ever felt behind, out of sync, or like everyone else knew something you didn’t, start here.

Gaslighting in the Name of God

Religious Trauma, Spiritual Abuse, and Rebuilding Self-Trust @wilder_tally | info@wildertally.com | www.wildertally.com [http://www.wildertally.com] Raised on Shame is a podcast about religious trauma, deconstruction, shame based faith systems, and learning to trust yourself again after leaving high control religion. Gaslighting is often used as a buzzword, but clinically it has a specific meaning. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone repeatedly distorts or dismisses your reality, causing you to doubt your thoughts, memories, and perceptions. In religious trauma and high control environments, gaslighting can be especially difficult to recognize. Language framed as “truth,” “growth,” or “spiritual authority” can override your internal experience. Over time, this can disconnect you from your intuition, your body, and your sense of self. In this episode of Raised on Shame, Kimberly Wilder, licensed trauma therapist, explores gaslighting in religious contexts, including how spiritual abuse, power dynamics, and shame based systems contribute to self-doubt and loss of self-trust. This episode integrates trauma-informed clinical insight, psychological research, and lived experience to help you identify gaslighting, understand its impact, and begin rebuilding trust in yourself after religious harm. Later in the episode, Kimberly is joined by a guest who brings both clinical and lived experience to explore how gaslighting operates in spiritual environments and how it differs from genuine care and support. • What gaslighting is (clinical definition vs common misuse) • Gaslighting in religious trauma and high control faith systems • Spiritual abuse and the role of power and authority • The difference between gaslighting and disagreement • Spiritual bypassing vs trauma-informed care • How gaslighting impacts memory, identity, and self-trust • Why survivors of religious trauma often doubt themselves If it feels supportive, you might reflect on: • Where have I been taught to question my own reality? • What happens in my body when I trust my perception? • What messages have shaped how I interpret my experiences? • What do I know to be true about my experience, without external validation? You might also try a grounding practice: • Name three things you know to be true about your experience • Notice what shifts in your body as you say them • Pay attention to any sense of clarity, resistance, or relief Explore trauma-informed resources, therapist directories, and support for religious trauma recovery: • https://www.wildertally.com/resources [https://www.wildertally.com/resources] Research referenced in this episode: • Gaslighting as a social and psychological control mechanism (American Sociological Review) • Scientific American: How gaslighting manipulates reality • National Library of Medicine (PMC): Psychological impact of gaslighting • APA PsycNet: Gaslighting and self-concept disruption • Trauma Resolution and Recovery Institute Books on religious trauma, gaslighting, and healing: • The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk • What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo • When Religion Hurts You by Laura Anderson • Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell If this episode on gaslighting and religious trauma resonated with you, you are welcome to share your questions or reflections. Your questions may be included in a future Q and A episode. Interested in sharing your story or expertise? Apply to be a guest: • https://www.wildertally.com [https://www.wildertally.com] Follow, rate, and review Raised on Shame to support the podcast and help others navigating religious trauma and deconstruction find this content. This episode discusses religious trauma, gaslighting, spiritual abuse, and psychological harm in a trauma-informed and non-graphic way. This podcast is not a substitute for therapy or mental health care. If you are seeking support for religious trauma or emotional distress, visit: • https://www.wildertally.com/resources [https://www.wildertally.com/resources]