The Grief in the Room - Why leaders must learn to do endings well
In this deeply reflective episode, David and Suzanne explore a topic rarely named in organizational life — grief at work. They discuss how leaders and teams experience grief during professional transitions such as restructures, layoffs, leadership changes, or the end of major projects. Suzanne invites leaders to see beyond the familiar language of stress and burnout, recognizing that unacknowledged loss often lies beneath.
The conversation bridges psychology, leadership, and systems thinking, linking grief to models like Kübler-Ross’s Stages of Grief, William Bridges’ Transition Model, and Sam Kaner’s Groan Zone. Together, they highlight that creating space for endings — to name, honor, and process what has been lost — allows new beginnings to emerge with clarity and trust.
💡 Key Concepts & Models Referenced
* Kübler-Ross’s Stages of Grief: Understanding emotional responses to loss — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
* Anticipatory Grief: The anxiety and emotional weight of knowing change or loss is coming before it happens.
* William Bridges’ Transition Model: Moving through endings, the neutral zone (or “messy middle”), and new beginnings.
* Kaner’s Groan Zone: The discomfort and confusion that accompany true transformation and collective sense-making.
* Space to Lead Model: The importance of slowing down, reflecting, and making intentional space for what’s true before moving forward.
🧭 Key Takeaways
* Grief is not just personal — it’s professional, collective, and systemic.
* Leaders must name and honor endings to build trust and make room for renewal.
* Anticipatory grief is common in organizations facing change and can heighten anxiety if unacknowledged.
* Doing endings well prevents unresolved emotional residue from surfacing later in team dynamics and culture.
* “Name it to tame it” — identifying loss gives people language and permission to process emotions.
* Good endings create psychological safety and pave the way for creative, clear beginnings.
🗣️ Memorable Quotes
“Grief is part of leadership. Every time you move to a new role and leave a team behind, that’s grief.” – Suzanne Fox
“Before you begin something new, you have to end what used to be.” – Suzanne Fox
“Creating space to honor what’s been lost is essential for renewal.” – David LeBlanc
🔗 Resources
* On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
* Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges
* Facilitator’s Guide to Participatory Decision-Making by Sam Kaner
🎧 Closing Reflection
Leaders are constantly navigating endings — some clear, some ambiguous. By acknowledging grief and making space for endings, we invite authenticity, integrity, and renewal into our leadership practice.
