The Art of Approach Podcast

#27 - Dr. Mike Strand on psychology, relationship insecurities, IFS

Today's guest is Dr. Mike Strand, an established psychologist with a private practice here in Austin. We're excited about this one. Find out more about Mike: connectedcounselingwellness.com In this episode, we discuss a trending Instagram reel, answer a question from Reddit, and explore the topic of trust in relationships. We then go deep with Mike, who shares insights on dating, relationships, and internal family systems. The conversation covers topics such as gender differences in attraction, the importance of trust in relationships, and the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse. Mike also discusses his private practice and upcoming workshops on relationship building. We discuss Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and its application in personal growth and relationships. We explore the concept of parts within ourselves, including protectors, managers, firefighters, and exiles. We emphasize the importance of developing a relationship with these parts and cultivating self-energy. We also discuss the legacy burdens we carry from our parents and the potential for healing and transformation through IFS. Mike shares an exercise for exploring and understanding our parts, and we discuss the benefits of working with a trained practitioner.

#26 - Cory Smith on dating in the gay community, consent, clear communication

Welcome back to the show! Today our guest is Cory Smith, a business coach and socializing teacher here in Austin. Find out more about Cory and his work: coryjsmith.com In this episode of the podcast, we discuss various topics related to conversation, listening, consent, and rejection. We explore the importance of proximity and touch in gauging interest, as well as the need to approach interactions without expectations. We also address the question of how to ask for consent without breaking the mood, emphasizing the importance of playfulness, humor, and open communication. The conversation delves into the art of listening, with tips on eye contact, body language, and asking why questions. We also go into the difference between empathy and compassion, and the importance of setting boundaries in relationships. We discuss various aspects of dating and relationships, with a focus on the experiences of gay men. We explore topics such as authenticity, consent, rejection, and the challenges of dating apps. Corey shares his insights on the stages of psychological development for gay men and the prevalence of validation-seeking behavior on dating apps. We also discuss the importance of safety and boundaries in dating, as well as the need for non-bar environments for the LGBTQ+ community. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of communication, self-reflection, and personal growth in navigating the dating world. 00:00 Introduction and Overview 02:20 The Importance of Proximity and Touch 05:45 Approaching Interactions without Expectations 07:11 Asking for Consent without Breaking the Mood 37:25 Empathy vs. Compassion 47:28 Setting Boundaries in Relationships 51:05 Authenticity and Communication in Relationships 52:34 Consent and Reframing Rejection 55:46 Challenges and Pitfalls of Dating Apps 58:10 Safety and Boundaries in the LGBTQ+ Dating Scene 01:13:02 Dating as a Gay Man: Challenges and Experiences 01:19:22 Creating Non-Bar Environments for LGBTQ+ Community 01:24:37 Approaching Men and Setting Boundaries 01:28:48 Cautious Consent and Protecting Others 01:35:28 Finding Social Activities and Non-Bar Environments 01:37:13 Coaching Session Offer for Podcast Listeners

#25 - Glaucia Stanganelli on fashion and self expression, how money plays a role in dating

Welcome! This week we have an incredible guest, Glaucia Stanganelli. Find more about her: www.glauciastanganelli.com/ @glaucia_stanganelli or @artbyglaucia on Instagram In this episode of the Art of Approach podcast, we discuss the role of fashion in dating and relationships with Glaucia. We emphasize the importance of expressing oneself through clothing and style, as it can give a person an edge in the dating market. We also explore the concept of creativity in fashion and how it can be a signal of a person's willingness to invest in a relationship. The conversation touches on topics such as authenticity, comfort, and the impact of clothing on one's mood and confidence. In this conversation, we and Glaucia discuss the importance of personal style and how it can impact one's confidence and self-perception. We explore the idea of wearing clothes that fit well and flatter one's body shape, as well as the significance of experimenting with different styles and colors. We also touch on the role of shoes in a man's outfit and the importance of being open and receptive in dating and relationships. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the connection between personal style, self-expression, and personal growth.

#24 - Why women can't find attractive men, building a network of friends

We're back! After a few weeks off we're back with some great guests in the coming weeks. Today we discuss the challenges women face in finding attractive men and why some women aren't being approached. We explore the concept of proximity attraction and how it affects dating dynamics. We also share personal experiences and insights on approaching women and the importance of authenticity. The episode concludes with a discussion on the experimental mindset of approaching and the different approaches that work for different individuals. We then discuss our different approaches to dating and meeting new people. One of us shares his preference for feeling certain that a woman will be open and receptive before approaching her, while the other thrives off the pressure of approaching and enjoys the challenge. We also discuss the importance of getting out of the house and being in social places, as well as the value of approaching and connecting with interesting people, even when in a relationship. We highlight the need for men to continue meeting new people and maintaining a strong social network, rather than solely focusing on their partner. Find more about us: Tim IG: @the_approach_coach, theartofapproach.com Will IG: @willpower_lifestyle, williammulvaney.com, The Willpower Podcast

#23 - Vielka Kano on intimacy misconceptions and improving long-term relationships

Welcome back! This week we are joined by Vielka Kano who is an AASECT certified sex therapist here in Austin. You can find out more about her and her work at vielkakano.com. In this podcast episode, Vielka shares her insights into the field of sex therapy and the critical importance of sexual education. She discusses the widespread misconceptions and challenges people face regarding their sexual desires and needs, emphasizing the need for self-love, safety, and open communication in maintaining healthy sexual relationships. Vielka explores the concept of polarity and how it can intensify the sexual experience between partners, shedding light on the complexities of sexuality and the necessity for open dialogue and understanding. The discussion also covers finding balance in relationships concerning sexual satisfaction, respecting individual desires, and the benefits of Tantra in deepening emotional connections and enhancing intimacy. Additionally, the conversation addresses various aspects of sexuality, including the impact of positive associations on desire, the importance of mental health in sexual satisfaction, and methods for cultivating desire and managing common issues like low libido and premature ejaculation. Vielka provides techniques and insights into addressing these concerns. Further topics include erectile dysfunction, the role of emotions in sex, the effects of pornography on relationships, and maintaining desire in long-term relationships. The importance of communication, consent, exploration, and variety in sexual experiences are highlighted, with Vielka offering advice on keeping relationships vibrant based on her extensive experience as a sex therapist.