The Art of Manliness

Why You Don’t Follow Through on Your Health Goals — and How to Fix It

Most of us know what we should do to be healthier: eat better, move more, sleep well. The real challenge? Actually following through. On today’s show, I talk to behavioral psychologist Amantha Imber, author of The Health Habit [https://amzn.to/3MwRx8p], who argues that the missing piece in most health advice isn’t more information — it’s learning how to bridge the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Amantha first outlines four “habit hijackers” that sabotage your best-laid plans and shares practical, research-backed tactics to overcome each one. We then dive into some specific health habits that will give you a lot of transformative bang for your buck. We discuss how restricting your sleep can help you sleep better, the truth about the popular 10,000 steps a day recommendation, the underrated power of an after-dinner walk, and more. Resources Related to the Podcast * Hijacker Survey Link [https://hhabithijacker.scoreapp.com/] * Related AoM Podcasts: * The Psychology of Effective Weight Loss [https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/health/podcast-721-the-psychology-of-effective-weight-loss/] * How to Hack the Habit Loop to Build a Better Life [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/podcast-1050-how-to-hack-the-habit-loop-to-build-a-better-life/] * The Microbiome Master Key [https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/health/podcast-1076-the-microbiome-master-key-how-100-trillion-bacteria-influence-your-weight-mood-and-all-around-health/] * Related AoM Articles:  * Unlocking the Science of Habits [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/habits/power-of-habits/] * The Science of Drive: 5 Theories of Motivation [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/motivation-theories/] * The Power of Temptation Bundling [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/habits/get-better-without-torturing-yourself-the-power-of-temptation-bundling/] * The 10 Best Ways to Make Exercise an Unbreakable Habit [https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/fitness/10-best-tactics-making-exercise-unbreakable-habit/] * The Importance of a Good Start: Using Temporal Landmarks to Achieve Your Goals [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/temporal-landmarks-achieve-your-goals/] * AoM “Sleep” archives [https://www.artofmanliness.com/?s=sleep] * AoM “Habits” archives [https://www.artofmanliness.com/?s=habits] * The Power of Implementation Intentions [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/a-formula-for-success-the-power-of-implementation-intentions/] * The Digestive Power of an After-Dinner Walk [https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/health/the-digestive-power-of-an-after-dinner-walk/] * The Existential in Red Dead Redemption 2  [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/podcast-854-the-existential-in-red-dead-redemption-2/] * Sleep Restriction and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy [https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-treatments/c/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-insomnia/procedures/sleep-restriction.html] * Study: Holding the Hunger Games Hostage at the Gym [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4381662/] * Study: “I Don’t” vs “I Can’t” [https://academic.oup.com/jcr/article-abstract/39/2/371/1797950?redirectedFrom=fulltext]  * Study: The Fresh Start Effect [https://faculty.wharton.upenn.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Dai_Fresh_Start_2014_Mgmt_Sci.pdf] * Study: Designing More Effective Goals by Using Emergency Reserves (“Hall Passes”)  [https://marketing.wharton.upenn.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Designing-More-Effective-Goals-by-Using-Emergency-Reserves-A-Field-Experiment.pdf] * Study: Untapping the Health Enhancing Potential of Vigorous Intermittent Lifestyle Physical Activity (VILPA) [https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40279-020-01368-8#Sec1] * Study: Reduced exertion high-intensity interval training [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7394749/] Connect With Amantha Imber * Amantha's website [https://www.amantha.com/] * Amantha on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanthaimber/] * Amantha on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/amanthai/?hl=en] * Amantha's podcast, How I Work [https://open.spotify.com/show/5m2RKgsP2yYYrSxgUf1UaP?si=fc22b3be30854d5e] See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

Masculinity as Confident Competence

There’s a lot of debate these days about what it means to be a man. But maybe the answer is simpler than we think, and a lot of masculinity just comes down to confident competence. A broad set of know-how. The ability to get stuff done. The capacity to move through the world with purpose and skill. As someone who's lived several lives in one, Elliot Ackerman certainly embodies that ethos. He's a decorated Marine, a former CIA paramilitary officer, a National Book Award-nominated novelist, and now the writer of A Man Should Know [https://www.thefp.com/w/elliot-ackerman], a column at The Free Press that explores the small but significant skills that shape a man’s life. Today on the show, Elliot and I talk about why young men are struggling, how intention, discipline, and competence can change the way a man carries himself, and a few of the specific skills a man should know — from how to wear a watch to how to give a eulogy. Resources Related to the Podcast * Elliot's novels [https://amzn.to/485MRNO] * Elliot's "A Man Should Know:" columns: * How to Introduce Yourself [https://www.thefp.com/p/a-man-should-know-how-to-introduce-yourself] * How to Be a Friend [https://www.thefp.com/p/a-man-should-know-how-to-be-a-friend] * How to Own a Watch [https://www.thefp.com/p/a-man-should-know-how-to-own-a-watch] * Fields of Fire by James Webb [https://amzn.to/4p4sIz6] * The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien [https://amzn.to/4oWz9E9] * The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger [https://amzn.to/482GJHG] * AoM Article: 100 Skills Every Man Should Know [https://www.artofmanliness.com/skills/manly-know-how/100-skills-every-man-should-know/] * AoM Skills Archives [https://www.artofmanliness.com/skills/] * AoM Podcast #307: Make Your Bed, Change the World [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/podcast-307-make-bed-change-world/] * AoM Article: 10 Ways to Be a Better Husband Today [https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/relationships/10-ways-to-be-a-better-husband-today/] * AoM Article: How to Choose a Watch [https://www.artofmanliness.com/style/accessories/mans-guide-wristwatches-choose-watch/] * AoM Article: How to Give a Eulogy [https://www.artofmanliness.com/skills/how-to/write-deliver-eulogy/] * AoM Article: A Eulogy for My Grandfather, William D. Hurst [https://www.artofmanliness.com/skills/how-to/write-deliver-eulogy/] * The Poetics of Manhood: Contest and Identity in a Cretan Mountain Village by Michael Herzfeld [https://amzn.to/4obmJaB] * AoM Article: MacGyver Manhood and the Art of Masculine Improvisation [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/macgyver-manhood-and-the-art-of-masculine-improvisation/] * Free Press discount code: subscribe at thefp.com/manliness [https://thefp.com/manliness], and save 10% off your first year Connect With Elliot Ackerman * Elliot on IG [https://www.instagram.com/elliot.ackerman/] * Elliot on X [https://x.com/elliotackerman] See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

A Butler’s Guide to Managing Your Household

Note: This is a rebroadcast. It’s a tough job to manage a household. Things need to be regularly fixed, maintained, and cleaned. How do you stay on top of these tasks in order to keep your home in tip-top shape? My guest knows his way all around this issue and has some field-tested, insider advice to offer. Charles MacPherson spent two decades as the major-domo or chief butler of a grand household. He’s also the founder of North America’s only registered school for butlers and household managers and the author of several books drawn from his butlering experience, including The Butler Speaks: A Return to Proper Etiquette, Stylish Entertaining, and the Art of Good Housekeeping [https://amzn.to/4c6KlIt]. In the first part of our conversation, Charles charts the history of domestic service and describes why the practice of having servants like a butler and maid ebbed in the mid-20th century but has made a comeback today. We then turn to what average folks who don’t have a household staff can do to better manage their homes. Charles recommends keeping something called a “butler’s book” to stay on top of household schedules and maintenance checklists. We then discuss how to clean your home more logically and efficiently. Charles shares his golden rules of house cleaning, the cleaning task you’ve probably neglected (hint: go take a look at the side of the door on your dishwasher), his surprising choice for the best product to use to clean your shower, how often you should change your bedsheets, and much more. Resources Related to the Podcast * AoM Article: How to Establish a Simple Cleaning Routine and Stick to It [https://www.artofmanliness.com/lifestyle/homeownership/heading-out-on-your-own-day-14-establish-a-simple-cleaning-routine-and-stick-to-it/] * AoM Article: How to Clean Your Entire House in 30 Minutes [https://www.artofmanliness.com/lifestyle/homeownership/how-to-clean-house-in-30-minutes/] * AoM Article: How to Clean Like a Man [https://www.artofmanliness.com/lifestyle/homeownership/how-to-clean-like-a-man/] * AoM Article: Keep Your House in Tip-Top Shape — An Incredibly Handy Home Maintenance Checklist [https://www.artofmanliness.com/lifestyle/homeownership/keep-your-house-in-tip-top-shape-an-incredibly-handy-home-maintenance-checklist/] * AoM Article The Butler’s Book: How to Create the Instruction Manual For Your Home [https://www.artofmanliness.com/lifestyle/homeownership/keep-your-house-in-tip-top-shape-an-incredibly-handy-home-maintenance-checklist/] * AoM Article: Towards a Philosophy of Household Management [https://www.artofmanliness.com/lifestyle/homeownership/towards-a-philosophy-of-household-management/] * The Book of Household Management by Isabella Beeton [https://amzn.to/3ItKpo6] Connect With Charles MacPherson * Charles’ website [https://www.charlesmacpherson.com/] See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

How the World Wars Shaped J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis

When people think of J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, they often picture tweedy Oxford professors and beloved fantasy authors. But their writing wasn't drawn only from their bucolic days teaching at Oxford and walking in the English countryside; it had a darker, deeper backdrop: the trenches of World War I and the cataclysm of World War II. Lewis and Tolkien weren't just fantasy writers — they were war veterans, cultural critics, and men with firsthand knowledge of evil, heroism, and sacrifice. In today’s episode, I’m joined by Joseph Loconte, returning to the show to discuss his latest book, The War for Middle Earth [https://amzn.to/4r18t6T]. We explore how both world wars shaped the perspectives of Tolkien and Lewis, found their way into works like The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia, and infused their literary masterpieces with moral weight, spiritual depth, and timeless themes of resistance, friendship, and redemption. We also talk about the legendary friendship between Tolkien and Lewis, the creation of the Inklings, and how the men demonstrated the countercultural power of imaginative storytelling. Resources Related to the Podcast * Related AoM podcasts: * #178: The Inklings Mastermind Group [https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/relationships/podcast-178-c-s-lewis-j-r-r-tolkien-and-the-inklings-mastermind-group/] * #272: Lewis, Tolkien, and the Myth of Progress [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/podcast-272-c-s-lewis-j-r-r-tolkien-myth-progress/] (Loconte’s first appearance on the AoM podcast) * #430: Why You Need to Join the Great Conversation About the Great Books [https://www.artofmanliness.com/living/reading/great-conversation-the-great-books/] * #499: A Fascinating Primer on Norse Mythology [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/norse-mythology-primer/]  * #594: How Churchill (and London) Survived the Blitz of 1940 [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/podcast-594-how-churchill-and-london-survived-the-blitz-of-1940/] * #723: Men Without Chests [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/podcast-723-men-without-chests/] * #765: C.S. Lewis on Building Men With Chests [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/podcast-765-c-s-lewis-on-building-men-with-chests/] * #951: The Hobbit Virtues [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/podcast-951-the-hobbit-virtues/] * Related AoM articles * The Power of Conversation: A Lesson from CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/the-power-of-conversation-a-lesson-from-cs-lewis-and-jrr-tolkien/]  * Lessons in Manliness from Viking Mythology [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/viking-mythology-ragnarok-the-norse-apocalypse/]  * Lessons in Manliness: The Hobbit [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/lessons-in-manliness-the-hobbit/] * Men Without Chests [https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/men-without-chests/] * “Blood, Sweat, and Tears” [https://www.artofmanliness.com/blood-sweat-and-tears-by-winston-churchill/] speech by Winston Churchill * 4 Classic Chapter Books to Read Aloud With Your Kids [https://www.artofmanliness.com/living/reading/classic-chapter-books-for-kids/] * Related outside articles: * Tolkien’s Deadly Dragons [https://www.josephloconte.com/commentary/national-review-tolkiens-deadly-dragons/]  * Munich Agreement [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munich_Agreement] * Owen Barfield [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Owen_Barfield] * Tolkien books mentioned: * The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C7D2S3CN/?tag=stucosuccess-20]  * Beowulf [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0544442784/?tag=stucosuccess-20] translated by Tolkien * The Hobbit [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007978NU6/?tag=stucosuccess-20]  * The Lord of the Rings [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0618640150/?tag=stucosuccess-20]  * Beren and Luthien [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1328791823/?tag=stucosuccess-20]  * Letters from Father Christmas [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0063340534/?tag=stucosuccess-20]  * Lewis books mentioned: * The Letters of C.S. Lewis [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075V3RQ6N/?tag=stucosuccess-20]  * The Collected Poems of C.S. Lewis [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1606354116/?tag=stucosuccess-20]  * The Pilgrim’s Regress [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0802872174/?tag=stucosuccess-20] * The Chronicles of Narnia [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0064409392/?tag=stucosuccess-20] * The Great Divorce [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060652950/?tag=stucosuccess-20] * The Screwtape Letters [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060652934/?tag=stucosuccess-20]  * The Space Trilogy [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZAT776G/?tag=stucosuccess-20]  * The Four Loves [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062565397/?tag=stucosuccess-20] * Mere Christianity [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060652926/?tag=stucosuccess-20]  * The Reading Life [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062849972/?tag=stucosuccess-20]  * Related books by other authors: * Tolkien and the Great War [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0618574816/?tag=stucosuccess-20] by John Garth * The Somme [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FOACO46/?tag=stucosuccess-20] by Martin Gilbert * The Guns of August [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0345476093/?tag=stucosuccess-20] by Barbara Tuchman * The Future of an Illusion [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0393008312/?tag=stucosuccess-20] by Sigmund Freud * The [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143105132/?tag=stucosuccess-20] Aeneid [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143105132/?tag=stucosuccess-20] by Virgil * Phantastes [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0802860605/?tag=stucosuccess-20] by George MacDonald * The Vinland Sagas [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0140447768/?tag=stucosuccess-20] * The Iliad [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0140275363/?tag=stucosuccess-20] and The Odyssey [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0140268863/?tag=stucosuccess-20] by Homer * The Divine Comedy [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0141197498/?tag=stucosuccess-20] by Dante Alighieri * Le Morte d’Arthur [https://www.amazon.com/dp/0140430431/?tag=stucosuccess-20] by Thomas Malory Connect With Joseph Loconte * Joseph's website [https://www.josephloconte.com/] See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].

Family Culture and the Sibling Effect — What Really Shapes Who You Become

When we think about what shaped our life trajectory, we often focus on the way our parents raised us. But what about our siblings? What role do they play in who we become? My guest today makes the case that siblings may be just as influential as parents in impacting how we turn out. Her name is Susan Dominus, and she’s a journalist and the author of The Family Dynamic: A Journey into the Mystery of Sibling Success [https://amzn.to/4otP4JT]. Susan and I start our conversation by unpacking the broader question of what drives human development more — nature or nurture. We then dig into how siblings shape us, from the impact of birth order to how rivalry can raise our ambitions and alter our life paths. Along the way, we also explore the influence parents do have on their kids — and why it may not be as strong as we often think. Connect With Susan Dominus * Susan's website [https://www.susanpdominus.com/] * Susan's faculty page [https://english.yale.edu/people/full-part-time-lecturers/susan-dominus] * Susan at the NYT [https://www.nytimes.com/by/susan-dominus] See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy [https://art19.com/privacy] and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info].