The Dementia Collective

Why Men Struggle to Ask for Help in Dementia Care (with Ron Beleno)

Why do so many men struggle to ask for help when caring for someone living with dementia? In this episode of The Dementia Collective, Andrew Karesa [https://www.linkedin.com/in/andykaresa/] sits down with Ron Beleno [https://www.linkedin.com/in/ronbeleno/], caregiver advocate and leader in the aging and dementia space, to explore the role men play in dementia caregiving and why many feel pressure to handle the responsibility alone. Ron begins by sharing his own caregiving journey after his father was diagnosed with dementia in 2007. Over more than a decade of supporting his father, Ron experienced firsthand the emotional and practical realities of caring for a parent with dementia, and how that experience shaped the work he does today supporting caregivers across Canada. Much of the conversation centers on the expectations many men carry when they step into caregiving roles. Ron reflects on the pressure to remain strong for the family, to manage dementia care independently, and how those expectations can make it difficult for male caregivers to ask for help or build support networks early in the journey. Andrew and Ron also explore the idea of the care team and why dementia caregiving becomes far more sustainable when responsibility is shared. Rather than trying to manage everything alone, Ron speaks about the importance of inviting others into the journey, whether family members, friends, community supports, or what he describes as “caring community members.” The conversation also touches on caregiver mindset and the internal conversations many caregivers have with themselves. Ron discusses how stress, responsibility, and cultural expectations can shape the way caregivers think about their role, and how reframing those expectations can help families navigate dementia with greater confidence and connection. Throughout the episode, Ron returns to a consistent theme: that caregiving does not need to be carried alone. Building a care team early can transform the experience not only for the caregiver, but for the person living with dementia as well. In this episode: • Why men are often underrepresented in dementia caregiving conversations • The pressure many male caregivers feel to manage dementia care alone • Why asking for help can feel difficult for men caring for a parent with dementia • The importance of building a care team early in the caregiving journey • How caregiver mindset shapes the dementia caregiving experience • The role of caring community members in dementia support networks • Why sharing responsibility can make caregiving more sustainable Whether you are caring for a parent with dementia, supporting a loved one living with Alzheimer’s disease, or trying to better understand the caregiving experience, this conversation offers thoughtful insight into the challenges many families quietly navigate and the importance of building support along the way. Learn more at:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠ [⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠]https://www.ronbeleno.com [https://www.ronbeleno.com]https://wecanbe.ca [https://wecanbe.ca]———Join The Village and help shape conversations like this by submitting questions to our guests: https://www.patreon.com/cw/blueBellVillage———Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. It should not be used to diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical condition. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or treatment. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Andrew Karesa, blueBell Village Ltd., or any of its employees, contractors, or team members.

She’s Still There: Separating Alzheimer’s from the Person You Love (with Erin Chalmers)

What does it mean to love someone whose personality is changing and to slowly realize it is not them? In this episode, Andrew Karesa [https://www.linkedin.com/in/andykaresa/] sits down with Erin Chalmers [https://www.linkedin.com/in/erin-chalmers-b88467178/], co-anchor of Global Edmonton Morning News [https://globalnews.ca/author/erin-chalmers/], daughter, caregiver, and Board Member of the Alzheimer Society of Alberta and Northwest Territories [https://alzheimer.ca/ab/en/about-us/board-directors], to talk about her mother’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis and the quiet shift from confusion to clarity that many families experience. Erin shares what the first signs looked like in 2022, the moment her family realized something deeper was happening, and the decision to be proactive instead of reactive. She opens up about sitting down with her mom early to talk through care preferences, navigating a system that can feel fragmented, and learning to separate the disease from the person she loves. The conversation moves beyond logistics. Erin reflects on how caregiving reshaped her identity, how she learned not to take certain behaviours personally, and why the phrase “that’s the disease” became a turning point in her understanding. She speaks candidly about advocating during a hospital stay, the emotional weight of watching cognition fluctuate, and the importance of day programs and structured support for caregivers. Together, Andrew and Erin explore what meaningful caregiver support actually looks like in Alberta, why the system often relies heavily on families to coordinate care, and what she hopes changes for the next generation. They also discuss what initially drew her to blueBell Connect, the importance of centralized communication within family care teams, and the kind of families who would benefit most from a personalized coordination tool. In this episode: • The early signs families often question or dismiss • Why being proactive after diagnosis matters • How to separate the disease from the person • What hospital experiences reveal about gaps in dementia care • The emotional cost of caregiving and how to avoid losing yourself • Why day programs can be a lifeline for families • What meaningful caregiver support in Alberta should look like • How centralized communication tools can reduce stress and confusion Whether you are walking through a new diagnosis, supporting a parent from a distance, or working within the healthcare system, Erin’s story is a reminder that even as memory changes, identity and dignity remain. Connection is still possible. She is still there. Learn more at:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠] https://www.bluebellvillage.ca [⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠] ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ [⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠]Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. It should not be used to diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical condition. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or treatment. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Andrew Karesa, blueBell Village Ltd., or any of its employees, contractors, or team members.

Where’s the Plan for Dementia Care in Canada? (with Dr. Saskia Sivananthan)

What if the problem isn’t whether Canada has a dementia strategy, but whether families can actually feel it? In this episode, Andrew Karesa [https://www.linkedin.com/in/andykaresa/]sits down with Dr. Saskia Sivananthan [https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-saskia-sivananthan/] to examine the gap between Canada’s National Dementia Strategy and the lived reality of families, clinicians, and communities trying to navigate brain change. Drawing on her experience working at the intersection of research, policy, and national coordination, Dr. Sivananthan unpacks what strategy is supposed to do, where implementation breaks down, and how funding decisions shape what support is actually available on the ground. Together, Andrew and Saskia discuss federal leadership, provincial variation, accountability, and why a plan on paper does not automatically translate into coordinated care. The conversation moves beyond individual caregiving stories to ask a broader systems question: if we say we have a national plan, what would it look like for families to experience it as one? In this episode: • What Canada’s National Dementia Strategy [https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/diseases-conditions/dementia-strategy.html] was designed to accomplish • How funding shifts affect coordination and long-term impact • The difference between announcing a strategy and implementing one • Why fragmentation across provinces continues to shape care experiences • The role of accountability in national health initiatives • Where Canada lags and where it shows leadership globally • What meaningful national alignment in dementia care could actually look like Whether you are a caregiver, policymaker, clinician, researcher, or someone trying to understand how dementia care is structured in Canada, this conversation offers a grounded look at the systems behind the support families depend on. Learn more at:⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠⁠⁠⁠] ⁠https://brainwellinstitute.org [https://brainwellinstitute.org] https://www.saskiasivananthan.com [https://www.saskiasivananthan.com]Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. It should not be used to diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical condition. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or treatment. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Andrew Karesa, blueBell Village Ltd., or any of its employees, contractors, or team members.

The Practice of Joy in Dementia Care (with Carrie Aalberts)

What happens to joy when dementia enters the picture? When routines change, roles shift, and caregiving becomes heavier than anyone expected, is joy still possible, or does it quietly disappear? In this episode of The Dementia Collective, Andrew Karesa [https://www.linkedin.com/in/andykaresa/] sits down with Carrie Aalberts [https://www.linkedin.com/in/carrie-aalberts-ms-74b868169/], gerontologist, dementia educator, and founder of Dementia Darling [https://www.dementiadarling.com], to explore why joy still matters in dementia care and how it can exist alongside grief, exhaustion, and uncertainty. Carrie shares her personal journey into dementia care, shaped by her grandmother’s diagnosis and years working inside senior living, adult day programs, and community-based care. She reflects on what surprised her early on, including how often families were left without guidance, and how those experiences reshaped her understanding of dignity, empathy, and what meaningful care actually looks like. Much of the conversation centers on joy, not as positivity or denial, but as an intentional and evolving practice. Carrie explains how joy changes throughout the dementia journey, why it looks different than it once did, and how caregivers can find moments of connection even in the most difficult seasons. She emphasizes presence, slowing down, and letting go of unrealistic expectations placed on both caregivers and people living with dementia. Andrew and Carrie also explore the role of children in dementia care, sharing why intergenerational spaces can foster empathy, normalize aging, and create powerful moments of connection. They discuss how community-based models challenge the isolation many families experience, and why caregiving should never be a solitary endeavor. The conversation turns to systemic barriers in dementia care, including cost, staffing shortages, and the emotional toll placed on family caregivers who are often forced to navigate complex systems with little support. Carrie speaks candidly about burnout, grief, and the need for better structures that honor both caregivers and care workers. Throughout the episode, they examine how technology can enhance care when used thoughtfully, from virtual reality and remote support tools to digital education platforms that meet caregivers where they are. Rather than presenting technology as a replacement for human connection, Carrie frames it as a way to reduce burden, expand access, and preserve dignity. In this episode: • Why joy still matters in dementia care • How joy changes throughout the caregiving journey • The emotional reality caregivers rarely talk about • Why intergenerational care benefits both children and elders • Systemic barriers families face when seeking support • How technology can enhance connection and quality of life • What dignity-centered dementia care really looks like Whether you are a caregiver, a professional, or someone walking alongside a loved one with dementia, this conversation offers reassurance, honesty, and a grounded reminder that joy does not disappear with diagnosis. It changes, it deepens, and it still belongs. Learn more at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca [⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠] ⁠ [⁠https://www.bluebellvillage.ca⁠]https://www.dementiadarling.com [https://www.dementiadarling.com] Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. It should not be used to diagnose, treat, or prevent any medical condition. Always consult your physician or another qualified healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or treatment. The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Andrew Karesa, blueBell Village Ltd., or any of its employees, contractors, or team members.

The Notebook Asked the Question Nobody Wants to Answer

What if The Notebook was never really a love story?Most people remember it that way.But underneath the romance, the film is doing something much more unsettling.It’s exploring what happens when memory fades… to the point that identity itself begins to break apart.In this video, we look at why The Notebook might actually be one of the most revealing films about dementia, caregiving, and the way we understand a person over time.The story quietly captures a tension that many caregivers recognize immediately:• The difference between who someone was and who they are now• Why families respond to that change in completely different ways• How care systems focus on the present, often at the expense of the past• What moments of recognition really mean… and what they don’t• And how one person can begin to feel like twoWhat makes The Notebook powerful isn’t just the love story.It’s the way it shows that memory loss isn’t only about forgetting.It’s about what happens when the continuity of a person’s life is disrupted.And that idea matters far beyond film.Because the way we understand memory shapes how we respond to aging, caregiving, and conditions like dementia.This isn’t a recap of the movie.It’s a reflection on how The Notebook captures something deeply true about identity, loss, and what it means to care for someone who is still here… but no longer the same.