The Fear Addict Podcast

Mark G: Memorial Episode

Death is the great equalizer that none of us will escape. After a long hiatus, The Fear Addict Podcast is back with a special episode in honor of Mark G, who passed away on August 7, 2023 at 1:07pm after a fierce battle with lung cancer. He was surrounded by a lot of love as we all touched him and he left this earthly realm. Death was something that was terrifying to Mark, but in the end, while he wasn't ready to go, he was at peace with it all.  Here we are, one year later, on the anniversary of his death. As we thought of ways to honor his memory, we thought it was best to bring in two of his closest friends, Carla and Geno to share memories of Mark on his journey towards facing his fears and ultimately turning that into healing and happiness. Sit back and listen to learn more about Mark's spiritual journey, to understand what it's like to grieve for someone you love and what it's like to confront the things that scares you most. And a special "Thanks," to all of the people who have listened, supported and shared The Fear Addict Podcast. This was Mark's life mission. We are working on a new season and will be back with regular episodes soon.   With Love,  Josh and Anise   Mark Burton Goff 4/9/65-8/7/23 Rest In Peace, Gentle Warrior

Betty: A Candid, Insightful Journey of One Woman's Path to Self Acceptance, Love and Hope

In this episode, Betty, who grew up in a household affected by generations of alcohol, substance abuse, gang activity and general dysfunction, coped with it by becoming a "scholastic perfectionist." To survive as a child and young adult in this emotionally chaotic household, she learned to have "zero needs." Betty talks bravely and candidly with Josh and Mark about how that belief system morphed into her making relationships, especially romantic ones her "drug of choice." Those relationship choices however were rooted in the distorted perception that love also had to be abusive to somehow be real. We go deep into this topic because the guys have both learned that equating love with pain makes it very difficult to learn self-love, because after all, how do you achieve unconditonal love of self by still attaching to pain? Betty talks about how a relationship like this, centered around a group of friends who committed a deep betrayal against her, led her into recovery in 12 Step rooms, particularly Alanon. She candidly expresses how she thought the program would help save a deeply dysfunctional relationship with a newly sober alcoholic, but she soon realized she was actually working a program to save her own life and for the first time, gain a true sense of self.

Bryson: Being Addicted to Anxiety and How to Overcome it With a Personal Process of Recovery

When a super-genius from the recovery world stops by Josh's place for a genius session behind the pink microphone, some amazing things happen -- Bryson shares his unique perspective as a Son of the South who grew up in the family disease and developed some hyper-controlling behaviors and an addiction to anxiety to deal with the overwhelming feelings of unloveability. He shares his journey with the guys from being a grown-ass man suffering from abject daily fear, to discovering and practicing his version of long-standing hope and faith. Bryson takes us on a deep exploration into his wild, funny and amazingly pragmatic perceptions about what drives the addictive mind and how he became loving and honest with himself which ultimately lead to his own personal version of serenity.

Eddie: Re-directing Fear into Faith and Deepening Relationship with a Higher Power to Overcome Family Patterns of Dysfunction

Eddie comes to the table to talk about his experience growing up with what he believed was an "idyllic" childhood in his Italian/Irish family. What came to the fore in the conversation with Josh and Mark is his realization that while his father did the best he could with what he had, there was a generational response to alcoholism in his past, that created a legacy of unconscious co-dependency. While his middle-class family presented well to the outside world, there was unexpressed fear in the household of "losing it all" financially, which Eddie internalized and created coping skills around, that lasted well into adulthood. This broke open a bigger conservation for the guys about relationships with their fathers and how that gets interpreted into roles we play as men in relationships, jobs, perfectionism, distorted beliefs, etc. But Eddie's recovery journey helped him develop a  powerful relationship with a power greater than himself (spoiler alert- his H.P. has an affinity for fighting the good fight on a galactic scale) that evolves to this day and became a source of confidence and self-esteem that he felt was lacking for so long.  The guys share their journeys of seeking a way out of the loop of making dysfunctional people, or relationships their higher power and the freedom and self-love that new perspective offers.

Fielding Edlow: Finding Authentic Self by Shedding the Bullshit and Grief of "Self"

Super special guest, Fielding Edlow, a smart, hilarious writer, actor, comedian and mom, takes us on a journey from her East Coast origins, coming of age in NYC, while dealing with body image, sugar-addiction and relationship obsession. When she discovered she had a problem with drinking, it was later revealed to her in Alanon that she suffered from that old familiar fear of being unloved and abandoned, but also having a deep-seated fear of actually being seen (we know, it's frikkin' complicated being us). Josh and Mark get down to their own problems with "self" and distorted perceptions, but find hope and strength by sharing how they implement new, learned methods of finding joy, satisfaction, creativity and recovery from obsessive thinking and anxiety. Fielding also shares the tools she's learned to authentically not care-take OTHER people's fears or problems and let go of the exhausting dance we all do of trying to get love and emotional support from basically human versions of fireplugs!