The Moving On Method® Podcast

The Divorce Recovery Story You Have To Hear: Nikki Spoelstra on Faith & Rebuilding

When everything falls apart at once, grief, divorce, addiction, and motherhood, how do you find the strength to rebuild? In this moving episode of The Moving On Method® with Michelle Dempsey-Multack, Nikki Spoelstra shares her powerful journey through loss, sobriety, and renewal. From the depths of despair to founding the Becoming Her community, Nikki reveals how radical self-trust, faith, and emotional recovery can transform the most painful moments into the foundation for an extraordinary new life. What You’ll Learn: * The “Victor, Not Victim” Mindset: How reframing pain changes your entire healing trajectory. * The Truth About Sobriety and Survival: Why Nikki says recovery was “divine preparation” for life’s hardest storms. * Emotional Self-Trust: Learning to make decisions that honor your peace, even when others don’t understand. * How to Rest, Rebuild, and Rise: Why rest isn’t weakness, it’s a necessary part of transformation. * Breaking Cycles of Shame and Control: How to stop carrying what isn’t yours and start caring without over-functioning. Episode Highlights: * 00:00 – When life collapses: navigating grief, loss, and survival * 05:40 – The “victor or victim” decision that changed Nikki’s life * 12:25 – Grieving complicated relationships and finding closure without reconciliation * 20:10 – Sobriety as divine preparation for motherhood and adversity * 29:15 – Redefining rest, recovery, and self-compassion after burnout * 36:48 – Public healing: setting boundaries with grace and emotional integrity * 43:02 – The “Modern Matriarch” mindset and what it means to become her * 47:12 – Nikki’s message to anyone feeling hopeless right now Meet the Guest: Nikki Spoelstra is a creator, speaker, and founder of the Becoming Her community, a digital platform for women devoted to self-trust, healing, and personal growth. Through her story of faith, sobriety, and transformation, Nikki has inspired thousands to redefine strength and embrace emotional literacy in their healing journey. Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned: * The “Victor vs. Victim” Framework – A mindset reframe for overcoming adversity. * The Serenity Prayer Practice – Daily grounding for recovery and emotional regulation. * The “Care, Don’t Carry” Model – Learning healthy emotional boundaries. * Modern Matriarch Mindset – Leadership and empowerment redefined for women post-divorce. * Becoming Her Method – A self-evolution model rooted in faith, recovery, and feminine empowerment. Closing Insight: Closing Insight: “The burdens we carry aren’t meant to crush us, they’re portals that lift us higher.” Nikki’s story reminds us that healing doesn’t begin with perfection; it begins with permission. Join The Moving On Collective! A safe, judgment-free support group experience for divorced and divorcing parents: https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity [https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity] Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore [https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey] Website - https://michelledempsey.com/ [https://michelledempsey.com/] Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645 [https://www.facebook.com/michelle645] TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1 [https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/] LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep270-becoming-her-nikki-spoelstra [https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep270-becoming-her-nikki-spoelstra] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

How To Be The Emotionally Safe Co-Parent: Expert Advice From Dr. Erika Velez

What if the most important skill your child could learn after divorce isn’t resilience, but emotional literacy? In this powerful and heartfelt episode, Michelle Dempsey-Multack sits down with clinical psychologist Dr. Erika Vélez to unpack how divorce impacts a child’s emotional world and why social-emotional learning is not optional; it’s essential. Together, they explore how parents can help children name their emotions, navigate co-parenting challenges, and break generational cycles of silence and shame. What You’ll Learn: * Why social-emotional learning is a critical skill for kids navigating divorce * How to help your child express and regulate emotions safely * What emotional modeling looks like, and how to do it without oversharing * How to stay grounded when you’re the “emotionally safe” parent * Why validation, repair, and self-compassion are stronger than perfection Episode Highlights: * 00:00 – The truth about children’s emotional needs during divorce * 05:32 – Why social-emotional skills matter more than ever in modern parenting * 11:05 – How parents unknowingly invalidate their child’s emotions * 17:24 – Modeling healthy emotional regulation (without burdening your kids) * 22:40 – The pressure of being the only emotionally grounded co-parent * 29:10 – What to do when your co-parent doesn’t “get it” * 36:45 – Repairing ruptures: How to own mistakes and reconnect with your child * 42:10 – The one rule that protects your child’s future: Love your child more than you hate your ex Meet the Guest: Dr. Erika Vélez is a licensed psychologist, founder of The Mindful Corner, and an expert in emotional literacy and conscious parenting. She helps families, teens, and co-parents navigate the psychological challenges of divorce with empathy, structure, and evidence-based tools for emotional regulation. Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned: * The Feelings Wheel – A tool to help children name complex emotions beyond “sad” or “angry.” * Love and Limits Framework – The balance of empathy and accountability in effective parenting. * Emotional Repair Model – How to return to difficult conversations to rebuild safety and trust. Closing Insight: "We can’t be the tour guide to a place we’ve never been." — Dr. Erika Vélez Parenting after divorce starts with your own emotional awareness. When you model authenticity, validation, and repair, you give your child lifelong tools to thrive, no matter how difficult the circumstances. Join The Moving On Collective! A safe, judgment-free support group experience for divorced and divorcing parents: https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity [https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity] Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore [https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey] Website - https://michelledempsey.com/ [https://michelledempsey.com/] Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645 [https://www.facebook.com/michelle645] TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1 [https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/] LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep269-social-emotional-learning-in-divorce [https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep269-social-emotional-learning-in-divorce] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Money & Moving On, Part 2: Sylvia Guinan on Budgeting, Boundaries, and Thriving Financially After Divorce

What if financial freedom after divorce wasn’t about sacrifice, but about clarity, control, and confidence? In this episode of The Moving On Method® Podcast, Michelle Dempsey-Multack and Sylvia Guinan, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst at Wells Fargo Advisors, unpack what it truly means to thrive financially after separation. From redefining your relationship with money to creating stability for your children, this conversation offers a practical and empowering roadmap for starting over with confidence and calm. What You’ll Learn: * How to create a post-divorce budget that reflects your real life, not your fears * The mindset shift from restriction to empowerment when managing money * Why self-care is a financial priority, not an indulgence * How to talk to your children about money in a way that builds healthy financial awareness * The most common financial red flags newly divorced women face, and how to avoid them Episode Highlights: * 00:00 – Michelle and Sylvia open up about the emotional side of financial recovery * 04:10 – Building your first post-divorce budget with confidence and clarity * 09:35 – The emotional psychology behind spending and scarcity * 14:20 – Prioritizing your essentials: home, health, and self-care * 20:15 – Teaching your children healthy financial habits without fear * 25:30 – Avoiding the top financial red flags after divorce * 29:00 – How to rebuild peace, confidence, and control through budgeting * 32:15 – Final reflections: clarity as the foundation of calm Meet the Guest Sylvia Guinan is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) at Wells Fargo Advisors, helping women transition from financial uncertainty to clarity and control. With deep expertise in post-divorce planning, she guides clients through budgeting, investment strategy, and long-term wealth preservation, empowering them to thrive independently. Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned: * The Post-Divorce Budget Framework: a two-column model for “Current Lifestyle” vs. “Retirement from Marriage” * Financial Boundary Method: redefining budgets as boundaries, not punishments * The Self-Care Allocation Principle: how emotional well-being directly impacts financial health * Money Mindset Reset: shifting from scarcity to stability Closing Insight: “A budget isn’t a burden, it’s your blueprint for freedom.” — Michelle Dempsey-Multack Every financial decision after divorce is an opportunity to rewrite your story. This episode reminds listeners that true wealth isn’t just measured in dollars, it’s in the peace of knowing you’re in control of your future. Explore "Money & Moving On," our new guide to financial freedom after divorce: https://bit.ly/MoneyMoveYouTube Join The Moving On Collective! A safe, judgment-free support group experience for divorced and divorcing parents: https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey Website - https://michelledempsey.com/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645 TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/ Link to Transcript: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep268-divorce-financial-recovery-and-budgeting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

The Effects of Childhood Trauma and Divorce with Guest Dr. Sasha Reiisieh

What happens to a child’s nervous system when they experience divorce, conflict, or emotional disconnection? In this powerful episode, Michelle Dempsey-Multack sits down with Dr. Sasha Reiisieh, an early childhood trauma expert, to explore how attachment, safety, and co-parenting dynamics shape a child’s emotional world. Together, they unpack what truly causes trauma, and why it’s not the divorce itself, but the absence of safety and repair that leaves lasting scars. If you’re a parent navigating separation, co-parenting challenges, or simply striving to raise emotionally secure children, this conversation will help you understand how to nurture resilience, connection, and calm, starting with yourself. What You’ll Learn: * The difference between trauma and traumatic events, and how your child’s body defines the difference * Why a child’s sense of safety is the single greatest predictor of emotional well-being after divorce * How one stable, emotionally regulated caregiver can offset chaos from the other parent * The science behind rupture and repair, and how parents can rebuild emotional trust * Why co-parenting dynamics often trigger old wounds, and how to model emotional balance for your kids Episode Highlights: * 00:00 – Why early attachment shapes lifelong emotional patterns * 04:22 – What trauma really is, and why it lives in the body, not the event * 09:40 – How caregivers teach the nervous system safety or fear * 14:58 – Divorce vs. conflict: what really impacts your child’s well-being * 20:31 – The myth of the “resilient child” and how to build true emotional safety * 26:47 – The power of one stable parent: creating a foundation of calm * 33:04 – How to help kids navigate loyalty binds and co-parenting tension * 39:50 – Repairing ruptures and teaching your child emotional regulation Meet the Guest: Dr. Sasha Reiisieh is a licensed early childhood trauma therapist and educator with over a decade of experience working with children and families. His research and clinical work focus on how attachment, regulation, and caregiver dynamics shape emotional health from birth through adolescence. Known for his compassionate, no-nonsense approach, Dr. Racy helps parents understand how to create emotional safety even in the face of conflict and change. Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned: * The Bigger, Stronger, Wiser, and Kind Model – A framework for emotionally attuned parenting * Rupture and Repair – How emotional breaks, when properly addressed, strengthen connection * Somatic Awareness Practices – Helping children and parents regulate through body-based awareness * The “One Good Enough Parent” Principle – The protective power of one stable caregiver Closing Insight: “Safety is the foundation of resilience. Your child doesn’t need two perfect parents; they need one emotionally regulated parent who can model calm, love, and connection even in chaos.” – Dr. Sasha Racy Join The Moving On Collective! A safe, judgment-free support group experience for divorced and divorcing parents: https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity [https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity] Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore [https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey] Website - https://michelledempsey.com/ [https://michelledempsey.com/] Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645 [https://www.facebook.com/michelle645] TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1 [https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/] LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep267-healing-after-divorce [https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep267-healing-after-divorce] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

How To Summon Your Single Mom Strength with Guest Amada Goetz

What if the secret to thriving after divorce isn’t about pushing harder, but learning when to let go? In this powerful conversation, Amanda Goetz joins Michelle Dempsey-Multack to unpack toxic grit, the hidden cost of overperformance, and how divorced and single mothers can reclaim energy, clarity, and joy without burning out. Listeners will walk away with practical frameworks for balance, permission to prioritize themselves, and strategies for rewriting outdated scripts about womanhood, motherhood, and success. What You’ll Learn: * Why toxic grit keeps women trapped in cycles of guilt, overwork, and exhaustion * How Amanda’s Character Theory helps you separate and align the different versions of yourself, mom, professional, partner, and more * The power of transition sequences to reset your energy and reduce overstimulation in parenting and work * Why outsourcing certain tasks (the “sanity tax”) can be essential for single parents How to navigate guilt, societal expectations, and scripts handed down by family or culture * 04:12 – Amanda shares her journey from a small-town upbringing to building a career in tech and marketing while navigating divorce. * 11:58 – The hidden weight of toxic grit and why traditional “lean in” culture fails single mothers. * 18:20 – Introducing Character Theory, a framework to understand the multiple roles we play and how misalignment leads to burnout. * 24:37 – Practical strategies for creating transition sequences that shift your energy between work, parenting, and personal life. * 31:15 – The “sanity tax” and how investing in help can protect your well-being and your children’s stability. * 36:42 – Reframing guilt and learning to ask: Whose voice am I hearing when shame or doubt creeps in? * 40:10 – Amanda’s insights on mosquito tasks, 10-10-10 decision making, and reducing cognitive overload. Meet The Guest: Amanda Goetz is an author, CMO, and founder whose upcoming book, Toxic Grit redefines resilience and self-leadership for women. A divorced mother of three, she blends personal experience with business acumen to empower women to pursue ambition without self-sacrifice. She is also the new host of the Girl Boss podcast, reimagined as Ambition 2.0. Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned * Character Theory – understanding the multiple identities within us and how to align them * Transition Sequences – practical rituals to reset energy when shifting roles * Sanity Tax – reframing outsourcing as a necessity, not a luxury * 10-10-10 Framework – assessing urgency and significance before reacting * Mosquito Task List – capturing small tasks to reduce cognitive load Closing Insight: “Permission is power. When we give ourselves permission to rest, delegate, and prioritize joy, we break free from the toxic cycles of guilt and overperformance.” Connect with Amanda: LikedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandagoetz/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandagoetz/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theamandagoetz/ [https://www.instagram.com/theamandagoetz/] Join The Moving On Collective! A safe, judgment-free support group experience for divorced and divorcing parents: https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity [https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity] Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore [https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey [https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey] Website - https://michelledempsey.com/ [https://michelledempsey.com/] Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645 [https://www.facebook.com/michelle645] TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1 [https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/] LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep266-amanda-goetz-reinvention [https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep266-amanda-goetz-reinvention] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]