Things I meant to say naked

How good are we at taking turns? Threesomes

Today’s episode explores the downward spiral Figs went through after a conversation with a friend who confidently declared that only two things end a marriage: babies and threesomes. Figs has thoughts... In this episode, she challenges that claim by asking the uncomfortable (and fun) questions: Are threesome fantasies actually that common? Is this really a male-centric fantasy? Is it an even split where one person pushes to have a threesome and the other partner complies? Who’s even having threesomes? How do they impact relationships in real life? And finally, is it possible for a threesome to benefit a relationship rather than destroy it?   Citations and Stuff I read: Armstrong, H. L., & Reissing, E. D. (2014). Attitudes toward casual sex, dating, and committed relationships with bisexual partners. Journal of bisexuality, 14(2), 236-264. Johnston, S. W. (2025). “My First Threesome with Them Was a Religious Experience”: A Mixed-Methods Study of Symbiosexual Experiences. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 1-18. Jonason, P. K., & Marks, M. J. (2009). Common vs. uncommon sexual acts: Evidence for the sexual double standard. Sex Roles, 60(5), 357-365. Joyal, C. C., Cossette, A., & Lapierre, V. (2015). What exactly is an unusual sexual fantasy?. The journal of sexual medicine, 12(2), 328-340. Kulibert, D., Moran, J. B., Preman, S., Vannier, S. A., & Thompson, A. E. (2021). Sex on the Screen: A Content Analysis of Free Internet Pornography Depicting Mixed-Sex Threesomes from 2012–2020. European Journal of Investigation in Health, Psychology and Education, 11(4), 1555-1570. https://doi.org/10.3390/ejihpe11040110 [https://doi.org/10.3390/ejihpe11040110] Morris, H., Chang, I. J., & Knox, D. (2016). Three’sa crowd or bonus?: College students’ threesome experiences. Journal of Positive Sexuality, 2(November), 62-76 Pandey, M. K., Thakral, H., Mishra, P., & Rao, T. S. (2025). Decoding Threesomes: Insights into Motivations, Gender Dynamics, and Societal Impact. Journal of Psychosexual Health, 26318318241299028. Pornhub (2025, March 18). 2024 year in Review. Pornhub Insights. https://www.pornhub.com/insights/2024-year-in-review#categories  Scoats, R., Joseph, L. J., & Anderson, E. (2018). ‘I don’t mind watching him cum’: Heterosexual men, threesomes, and the erosion of the one-time rule of homosexuality. Sexualities, 21(1-2), 30-48. Scoats, R. (2019). ‘If there is no homo, there is no trio’: Women’s experiences and expectations of MMF threesomes. Psychology & Sexuality, 10(1), 45-55. Scoats, R., Anderson, E., & White, A. J. (2021). Exploring gay men's threesomes: Normalization, Concerns, and sexual opportunities. Journal of Bodies, Sexualities, and Masculinities, 2(2), 82-106. Scoats, R., & Anderson, E. (2019). ‘My partner was just all over her’: jealousy, communication and rules in mixed-sex threesomes. Culture, Health & Sexuality, 21(2), 134-146. Scoats, R. (2019). Understanding Threesomes: Gender, Sex, and Consensual Non-Monogamy (1st ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780429453328 [https://doi.org/10.4324/9780429453328] Valovirta, E. (2021). Repeated Pleasure: Reading the Threesome Ménage Romance as Digital Literature. Powerful Prose, 45. Art: bofenglin For updates, follow figs the therapist's Instagram: @figstherapy or their podcast Instagram and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thingsimeanttosaynaked]: @thingsimeanttosaynaked Or learn about figs, the therapist or want figs as your therapist check out  figstherapy.com [https://www.figstherapy.com/] I want to hear from you. What are things you meant to say naked— the truths, the questions, the unsent texts? [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2521853/open_sms]

Trying to Be Patient With a Man Who’s Sending Mixed Signals: letter from a lover (listener)

Today’s episode features an anonymous letter from a listener navigating the blurry, emotionally charged terrain of a situationship that refuses to stay casual. After a recent divorce and a firm decision to “take things slow,” what begins as an easy reconnection slowly turns into daily check-ins, intimacy, emotional support, and mixed signals that don’t quite line up with the label nothing serious. Together, we unpack what it means when words and actions don’t match, why consistency can feel more powerful than commitment, and how attachment, timing, and self-protection shape modern dating. This episode explores the quiet confusion of relationships without titles, the comfort of being chosen without promises, and the question many of us avoid asking out loud: Can this be healing, or is this the bare minimum? If you’ve ever felt emotionally close to someone who insists they don’t want more—yet keeps showing up anyway—this one is for you. For updates, follow me on instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thingsimeanttosaynaked/] and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thingsimeanttosaynaked]: @thingsimeanttosaynaked Or learn about figs, the therapist and her services go to figstherapy.com [https://www.figstherapy.com/] Or if you want to write Figs a letter on something you meant to say naked and want it spoken on air. Email her at: hello@figstherapy.com I want to hear from you. What are things you meant to say naked— the truths, the questions, the unsent texts? [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2521853/open_sms]

I'm in a situationship...now what?

Today's episode wraps up our three-part series on situationships. (And if you haven’t heard the first two yet, I highly recommend you give them a listen first.) Now that you know what a situationship is, let’s talk about what happens when you realize… you’re actually in one. In this final chapter, we’ll explore your options—whether you choose to stay, redefine the relationship, or walk away. For updates, follow me on instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thingsimeanttosaynaked/] and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@thingsimeanttosaynaked]: @thingsimeanttosaynaked Or learn about figs, the therapist and her services go to figstherapy.com [https://www.figstherapy.com/] Citations and things I read for today's episode: Delizo, S. K. D. J., Dapliyan, Y. A. R., Ban-eg, H. T. A., Canlas, C. A. F., Tong, N. I. D., & Yusingco, E. R. I. (2025). Navigating Ambiguity: An In-Depth Exploration of Situationships in Contemporary Romantic Relationships. Dolan, E. W. (2025, August 4). New Psychology Research reveals why people stay in situationships. PsyPost. https://www.psypost.org/new-psychology-research-reveals-why-people-stay-in-situationships/  George, A. S. (2024). Escaping the situationship: Understanding and addressing modern relationship ambiguity among young adults. Partners Universal International Innovation Journal, 2(3), 35-56. Gibson, T. J. (2020). If you want the milk, buy the cow: A study of young black women's experiences in situationships Langlais, M. R., Podberesky, A., Toohey, L., & Lee, C. T. (2024). Defining and describing situationships: An exploratory investigation. Sexuality & Culture, 28(4), 1831-1857. Singh, S. Fooling in the Name of Love: Welcome to Gen-Z Relationships. Shah, K. (2024, January 31). Half of 18 to 34 aged Americans have been in a “Situationship.” YouGov. https://business.yougov.com/content/48492-half-of-18-to-34-aged-americans-have-been-in-a-situationship  Stanley-Blackwell, R. (2025). Navigating Casual Relationship Breakups-The Role of Attachment Orientation and Expectations on Coping Strategies and Distress (Doctoral dissertation). I want to hear from you. What are things you meant to say naked— the truths, the questions, the unsent texts? [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2521853/open_sms]

why do we keep going back into situationships

Welcome to part 2 of our three-part series on situationships. Today, we’re diving into the long-term psychological effects of situationships—and why so many of us leave one only to slip right into another. Cue: “ReLEase ME!” Situationships are relationships that form and maintain themselves with ambiguity.  For updates, follow me on instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thingsimeanttosaynaked/]and tiktok: [https://www.tiktok.com/@thingsimeanttosaynaked] @thingsimeanttosaynaked Or learn about figs, the therapist and her services go to figstherapy.com [https://www.figstherapy.com/] citation and things I read: Delizo, S. K. D. J., Dapliyan, Y. A. R., Ban-eg, H. T. A., Canlas, C. A. F., Tong, N. I. D., & Yusingco, E. R. I. (2025). Navigating Ambiguity: An In-Depth Exploration of Situationships in Contemporary Romantic Relationships. George, A. S. (2024). Escaping the situationship: Understanding and addressing modern relationship ambiguity among young adults. Partners Universal International Innovation Journal, 2(3), 35-56. Gibson, T. J. (2020). If you want the milk, buy the cow: A study of young black women's experiences in situationships Langlais, M. R., Podberesky, A., Toohey, L., & Lee, C. T. (2024). Defining and describing situationships: An exploratory investigation. Sexuality & Culture, 28(4), 1831-1857. Singh, S. Fooling in the Name of Love: Welcome to Gen-Z Relationships. Shah, K. (2024, January 31). Half of 18 to 34 aged Americans have been in a “Situationship.” YouGov. https://business.yougov.com/content/48492-half-of-18-to-34-aged-americans-have-been-in-a-situationship   art: bofenglin I want to hear from you. What are things you meant to say naked— the truths, the questions, the unsent texts? [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2521853/open_sms]

situationships...wHY???

Welcome to part 1 of our three-part series on situationships. Today's episode dives into why they happen and why they are so common. This episode is part one of a three-part series exploring the dating phenomenon of situationships.  For updates, follow me on instagram [https://www.instagram.com/thingsimeanttosaynaked/]and tiktok: [https://www.tiktok.com/@thingsimeanttosaynaked] @thingsimeanttosaynaked Or learn about figs, the therapist and her services go to figstherapy.com [https://www.figstherapy.com/] Citation and stuff I read: Delizo, S. K. D. J., Dapliyan, Y. A. R., Ban-eg, H. T. A., Canlas, C. A. F., Tong, N. I. D., & Yusingco, E. R. I. (2025). Navigating Ambiguity: An In-Depth Exploration of Situationships in Contemporary Romantic Relationships. George, A. S. (2024). Escaping the situationship: Understanding and addressing modern relationship ambiguity among young adults. Partners Universal International Innovation Journal, 2(3), 35-56. Gibson, T. J. (2020). If you want the milk, buy the cow: A study of young black women's experiences in situationships Langlais, M. R., Podberesky, A., Toohey, L., & Lee, C. T. (2024). Defining and describing situationships: An exploratory investigation. Sexuality & Culture, 28(4), 1831-1857. Singh, S. Fooling in the Name of Love: Welcome to Gen-Z Relationships. Shah, K. (2024, January 31). Half of 18 to 34 aged Americans have been in a “Situationship.” YouGov. https://business.yougov.com/content/48492-half-of-18-to-34-aged-americans-have-been-in-a-situationship  art: bofenglin I want to hear from you. What are things you meant to say naked— the truths, the questions, the unsent texts? [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2521853/open_sms]