To Help You Heal

Episode 152: Why We’re So Hard on Ourselves

This week on the podcast, I want to talk about something I think so many of us experience without even realizing it: the internal dialogue we carry every single day. Sometimes the loudest voice in our lives is the one nobody else can hear. In this episode, I’m sharing some personal stories about feeling unseen, how experiences from childhood followed me into adulthood, and the ways negative self-talk can quietly become “background noise” in our lives. From replaying conversations and overthinking messages to apologizing unnecessarily or assuming rejection before we even put ourselves out there, I think many of us are carrying thoughts we stopped questioning a long time ago. I also talk about: * why self-doubt often disguises itself as protection * how rejection, comparison, and painful experiences shape the way we see ourselves * the exhausting mental conflict many women quietly carry * why familiar thoughts are not always true thoughts * how compassion toward ourselves can begin to change the conversation internally One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is this: Just because a thought feels familiar doesn’t mean it’s telling the truth. Reflection Questions: * What do I say to myself regularly? * Where did that belief come from? * What would I say to a younger version of myself now? I hope this episode helps you begin to notice the voice in your head with a little more awareness and a little more compassion.

Episode 151: Maybe You Don't Need to Push Harder

Have you ever found yourself feeling like you just need to try harder? Push more. Figure it out. Force clarity.  In this week’s episode of To Help You Heal, we're talking about the exhaustion that comes from living in constant “go mode” and the pressure many of us place on ourselves to keep everything together. When life feels uncertain, unresolved, or overwhelming, our instinct is often to push harder—but what if more pressure isn’t actually the answer? We'll discuss the difference between healthy effort and alignment, the illusion of control, and the ways fear and urgency keep us stuck in cycles of exhaustion.  This episode is a gentle reminder that not everything meaningful has to be forced—and that sometimes the breakthrough comes when we finally loosen our grip. In this episode: * Why many of us default to pushing harder when life feels uncertain * The emotional and physical cost of constant striving * How fear and the need for control fuel the pressure to push harder * The difference between effort and alignment * How peace and clarity often emerge when we create space instead of pressure Reflection Questions: * Where am I pushing from fear instead of peace? * What am I trying to force right now? * What would it look like to trust instead of striving? * Where do I need to loosen my grip a little? If this episode resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. You can connect with me on social media or through my website. And if you’re longing for deeper support as you navigate your own healing journey, you can book a free Clarity Call [https://tidycal.com/mariemonville/claritycall] with me.  Thanks for joining me for this week’s episode of To Help You Heal. I hope it reminded you to breathe a little deeper, take some time to rest, and trust that you do not have to carry everything on your own.

Episode 150: Hitting the Reset Button

In this week’s episode of To Help You Heal, I’m wrapping up this series by talking about something many of us need: a reset. Sometimes what we need most is not a dramatic life change or a total reinvention. We simply need space to pause, notice what feels off, and take one intentional step forward. Often the signs that we need a reset are subtle. We may feel disconnected, emotionally tired, mentally cluttered, or stuck on autopilot. It is not always chaos that signals change is needed—it is often misalignment. In this episode, I share common areas where a reset may be needed: * Your pace – life feels rushed and there is no margin * Your mind – too much input, overthinking, mental clutter * Your space – physical clutter affecting clarity * Your priorities – everything feels urgent, but nothing feels meaningful * Your spirit – feeling disconnected from prayer, peace, or God’s presence I also walk through simple ways to reset without overwhelm: * Pause and name what feels off * Ask yourself: What do I need more of? What do I need less of? * Choose one small shift * Repeat the process regularly A reset is not failure. It is a sign that you are paying attention and responding to what your life needs right now. Reflection Questions * What feels off right now? * Where are you running on autopilot? * What do you need more of? * What do you need less of? * What is one small reset you can make this week? You do not need to reinvent yourself. Sometimes healing begins with one honest pause and one small step forward.

Episode 149: Finding the Fun

In this week’s episode of To Help You Heal, I’m talking about why fun matters more than we often realize. So many of us treat fun like something we’ll get to later—after the to-do list is done, after everyone else is cared for, after life feels less busy. But fun isn’t frivolous or something we have to earn. It’s restorative, healing, and an important part of living well. When life feels heavy, fun is often the first thing to disappear. Stress, grief, burnout, responsibility, and survival mode can crowd it out before we even notice it’s gone. Sometimes we don’t realize it until someone asks, What do you do for fun?and we don’t know how to answer. In this episode, I share why joy and fun help regulate stress, reconnect us to creativity, build resilience, and remind us who we are outside of pressure and productivity. I also talk about how fun doesn’t have to be big or complicated. It can be simple moments like: * Laughing with a friend * Listening to music while cooking * Taking a walk outside * Baking something new * Dancing in your living room * Trying something just because it sounds interesting Sometimes finding fun again means redefining it for the season you’re in now. Reflection Questions * What has crowded out joy in your life lately? * What used to help you feel alive? * What feels light or interesting right now? * What small act of joy could you make space for this week? You do not have to wait for life to feel perfect before you enjoy it. Fun is not something you earn—it’s something you’re allowed to cultivate now. Come back next week as we wrap up this series and talk about hitting the reset button.

Episode 148: See the Good

Last week we talked about the reality that life has been a lot lately. And I walked you through three simple things that help me navigate those heavy seasons. This week we're going deeper into the first one: seeing the good. I actually have those words on the wall behind my desk. See the good. I love that reminder every time I sit down to work because the truth is that our perspective is everything. Whatever we're focused on, that's exactly what we're going to find. If I'm looking for problems, I'll find them. If I'm looking for good, I'll find that too. It's the same reason why when you're shopping for a new car you suddenly start seeing that car everywhere. So I want to train myself to look for the good — especially when there's so much that doesn't feel good. But I want to be clear about something first. I am not asking you to deny that life is hard or pretend your feelings don't exist. Because gratitude becomes unhelpful when it's used to silence what hurts. When someone tells you to just be grateful or just focus on the positive, that can actually feel dismissive. It minimizes what you're going through as if there isn't room for the pain too. What I want to invite you into is something different. Holding both at the same time. You don't have to choose between acknowledging what's hard and noticing what's good. We can do both. We can say things like: this season is exhausting and there are still moments of beauty. I feel the grief and I'm grateful for the person walking with me. Things feel uncertain and I still see God's faithfulness. I'm struggling and I still laughed today. Healing often happens when we stop forcing one truth to cancel out the other. The pain doesn't get the final say. It's not the entirety of the story. Think about being on an airplane on a rainy day. The storm is real on the ground. But once you get above the clouds it's vibrant and sunny and beautiful. Seeing the good is knowing that the sun is still there even when you can't see it yet. Here are three simple habits that help: At the end of each day ask yourself one question: what was good today? Not amazing or spectacular. Just good. Then name three things that are also true right now. They can be as honest as: I'm tired, I'm loved, and I made it through. And then practice catching the small goodness around you. The sunlight coming through the window. A kind text. A moment of quiet. Laughter. Strength you didn't know you had. Those three things together can be genuinely life-changing because they teach us to hold both at the same time and catch what we would otherwise miss. And if you're in a really hard season and the good feels difficult to find, that's okay. Maybe your good today is that you got out of bed. That you asked someone for help. That you took it one breath at a time. Quiet good still counts. Reflection questions for the week: * What has felt especially hard or draining for you lately? * Even in that hard place, what good exists that's easy to overlook? * Where have you felt pressure to just be positive instead of honest? * What would it look like to hold both at the same time? You don't have to deny what's hard in order to notice what's good. Hard is not the only thing here. And pain is not the end of the story. Come back next week as we take the next step in this journey.