38. Too Invalidated to Trust Myself - Chronic Invalidation, Self-Doubt and Learning to Trust Your Feelings Again
Ever felt like you’re too uncertain to trust your own feelings?Yeah. Us too.
In this episode of Too Much Apparently, we (Carly and Alice — two therapists who know what it’s like to question everything you feel) get real about chronic invalidation — what happens when you’ve been told, directly or subtly, that your thoughts, feelings, and experiences aren’t quite right.
We explore how that drip, drip, drip of being dismissed, corrected, or misunderstood can slowly erode your ability to trust yourself — and why so many sensitive and neurodivergent people end up over-analysing everything, checking with others, and wondering if they’re “allowed” to feel the way they do.
This time we talked about:
🎙️ We’ve felt this thing too (and we still do): Hello second-guessing everything, asking “am I allowed to feel like this?”, and needing other people’s opinions to figure out your own.
👀 What it looks like in real life: Feeling confused in conversations, going into shutdown or overwhelm when you’re not understood, replaying interactions, and carrying a quiet sense of “maybe I’m wrong.”
🧠 Why our brains do it: Chronic invalidation, gaslighting-like experiences, trauma, and years of being told — in big and small ways — that your internal experience can’t be trusted.
🧍🏽♀️🧍🏻 The different ways it shows up: People-pleasing, over-analysing, withdrawing from relationships, struggling to speak up, or feeling disconnected from your own intuition and gut.
🧰 Coping mechanisms: Seeking reassurance, scanning for the “right” answer, suppressing emotions, or trying to override your feelings with logic.
🌱 How to make peace with it: You feel how you feel — and learning to trust yourself again starts with letting your experience be real.
Thanks for listening
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👩🏻💻 Alice Tew:
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→ Instagram: @reparentingwithalice [https://www.instagram.com/reparentingwithalice]
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Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn’t therapy, and it’s not a substitute for professional support. We’re here to share ideas and experiences, but if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.
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