TRUMP MAFIA

There is a two-word combo deal that I didn’t have on my Mar-a-Lago Bingo bonanza bucket list, and that is President Trump & Rikers Island! Rikers Island, gladiator academy for many a New York City gangster, and the sheer fact that the former President could even serve a day on the Island as they call it, defies humanity in so many ways, that it has taken me many stops and starts to even comment on this. And if I am being honest, I am surprised that 12 jury members decided that Donny did it, and again for those of you that are not aware of a jury it means that every single jury agreed that he was guilty on all the counts. But guess what, in the month of May as Don Don did the bodega tour, partied with young Hip-Hop upstarts Sheff G and Sleepy Hallow in the Bronx, and drove around the streets of Manhattan like Cam'ron when he had his Pink Range Rover,  this verdict, trial and ensuing post coital Fox News love fest only has proven one thing, $141 Million in campaign funds raised, is making Donola look like Kim Jung Un at a military parade, and oh yeah a resounding appearance at UFC fight night to a standing ovation, the haze of the last four years is really coming into focus…. So Alvin Bragg congrats buddy, mozzle mozzle and good things, it looks like this display of New Yawk justice, seemingly could turn into the pivotal moment wherein Don T, ascended to American Folk hero, and while if Trump was found guilty at the federal level of 34 counts there would be no question he would be headed to Otisville, we now have to play a guessing game on whether judge Juanito Marchand decides to actually sentence the president to jail time….

Donnie Boy, how is that courtroom, you say it’s a lil' chilly, I heard you the other day talk about , "IT'S AN ICE BOX," yeaaaah well, it ain’t Palm Beach buddy, it ain’t those crystal blue waters your used to or the glitzy confines of Mar-a-Lago where you can blast good ole Frankie Sinatra in the DJ booth and kibitz with all those plastic fuck-offs that eat rubber chicken, and continue to play a symphony of "IT’S ALL BIDEN’s FAULT." The Pirates in the Straight of fucking Hormuz, that’s smoking Joe’s fault, the gas prices, the oil drilling, the wars, the inflation, the taxes, the fucking hemorrhoids up your ass, ALL BIDEN’s FAULT! I really get it I really do buddy, but it seems like you are using this whole Al Capone bit to your advantage. I gotta be honest, when I started this Trump Mafia exercise almost four years ago, my instincts were telling me that you were most likely gonna end up with an orange fucking jumpsuit to match that tan, and that wonderful wispy comb over that makes the ladies go yeahhhhh, but I also thought it would just a tad more like a John Le Carré novel, then lets say James Patterson not that there is anything wrong with a Patterson novel, it's just Le Carré — he really nailed global intrigue, and characters that would inhabit the nexus of global crimes, and let's be clear, The Trump Russia stuff was way cooler, way more Michael Mann than Dick Wolff, but yet here we are...

If you really want to get in the spirit of American politics, I encourage you very strongly to visit your parents, with the assumption they are in their late 60s or 70s and the enjoy watching Fox News during six o’clock dinner, it’s an exhilarating experience. It happened to me today, and I was able to get in 20 minutes of a Fox News show called THE FIVE. The Five is a roundtable talk show that includes Greg Gutfield, Jeanie who you just heard, Dana Perino and Jesse Walters, and a sprinkling of guests, wherein they do Fox News fever dream hot takes on the current news, which today included a conversation about Defunding NPR for some reason, Death to America Chants in Michigan which got everyone really fired up and obviously my friend from Westchester, who seemingly looks like she runs the front room of a Trattoria in Richmond Hill Staten Island, but she is weighing in on politics and all things culture wars. I am not here to bash anyone in the media, maybe I am but again, the platform of Fox today gave me a chuckle, it showed me for the first time that at the end of the day, we might as well just fucking laugh.

Interesting times, I say interesting times, Trump mafia listeners. Are you still out there? I know I've been gone, but guess what, I'm back and I can't make any promises, but I think it's time to really keep us updated with what "The Don" is doing.  For this episode, I was talking with my producer, Arizona Rick, and here he is sending me text messages, demanding I have to go on air. Demanding. Imagine that. So here we are.  Now usually I would venture to go online for at least two weeks of research and really try and absorb whatTthe Donald has been doing so I can give you my well examined, studied and thoughtful take on what the fuck is going on inside Trump mafia land.  But I can't do it. I won't do it. I will only ingest this demonic soul through news osmosis, which will lead me down a road of giving you my overall philosophical ramblings on how I'm thinking about the presidential race unfolding or the day-to-day Trump rodeo fuck circus.  But the exercise I wanna do with you today is pose a few questions.

We reflect on the recent sprawling indictment, including RICO charges, that Georgia Prosecutor Fani Willis just leveled on ole' Donny Boy and his 18 Co-Conspirator buddies.