Transforming LinkedIn Bullying Into The #DecideToBeKind Movement ft. Shelly Elsliger
Intro:
Shelly Elsliger, founder of Linked-Express, is a celebrated LinkedIn Trainer and Social Connection Maker. Founder of the #decidetobekind movement, she tackles online bullying and promotes a culture of kindness.
Recognized by the National Women Speakers and a Forbes contributor, Shelly is a voice for diversity and psychological safety in the workplace. In her personal time, she enjoys pickleball and supports animal welfare in Nova Scotia.
Writing a book, almost done, "From Connections to Protection: combating bullying on linkedin" - coming out in early 2025!
Stay in Touch with Shelly: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/selsliger [https://ca.linkedin.com/in/selsliger]
To learn more about Shelly and her Services: https://linkedexpress.ca/ [https://linkedexpress.ca/]
Bullying on LinkedIn is a little bit more discreet and it's not in your face like it is with some of the other social media sites you have to be very diligent. If you're dealing with a bully, don't think anything goes past them. And just remember that they can just come up like a chameleon and, and, and change their spots.
Welcome to weirdos in the workplace. The podcast that celebrates authenticity, transparency, passion, and purpose in our world of work today. I'm your host, Erin Patchell, and welcome to Shelly Ellslager, my friend.
Hi, Shelly. Hi, thanks for joining me. Thanks for having me. My pleasure. Uh, Shelley Elsliger is the founder of linked express. She's a celebrated LinkedIn trainer and social connection maker, the founder of the decide to be kind movement, hashtag decide to be kind. She tackles online bullying and promotes a culture of kindness.
She's been recognized by the national women's speakers and is a Forbes contributor. She's the voice for diversity and psychological safety in the workplace and in her personal time. She enjoys Pickleball, uh, and supports animal welfare in Nova Scotia. And Shelley, I was so excited just right before the show that you're going to be an author soon in early January, February 2025.
Um, book called From Connections to Protection, Combating Bullying on LinkedIn. That's amazing. You're so cool. I love you. It's great to talk about it, actually. Thank you. Getting it out there early. I like that. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, no, no, no. Um, I mean, you're probably one of the most prolific LinkedIn, uh, trainers that I've ever met.
Um, so, you know, that's pretty, I think that's pretty neat. You know, you're, you've deep dived right in. Yeah. I don't know my life without LinkedIn, to be honest. I, I, it's just such a big part of what I do and what I help other people to do and achieve. So I just feel it's just a part of my regular everyday life.
Every day, but. I've been using and promoting LinkedIn for a long, long time. Yeah, I actually love LinkedIn. I am not a fan of other social media platforms, mainly because I think, you know, the discussion kind of we're, we're going to be talking a little bit about bullying and online bullying today and, you know, and just being a, just a.
Big, big jerk all around, you know, people being jerks. Um, but I find like, like Twitter or X, you know, even like Instagram, Facebook, uh, Twitter, YouTube's terrible nowadays. You know, you can't look at a comment section without. Without just having it turn your stomach anymore, you know, um, anyways, we're going to go down that rabbit hole, uh, further, but I want to know, like, how did you get so invested in LinkedIn?
Like, tell me what that journey was like for you. So it's interesting how you know my relationship with LinkedIn became more than just the average person I mean I, I was an educator as a career development specialist I mean still am in many ways but that took up a big part of my career so there was.
LinkedIn had, like early on, had a contest and about what would you do, you know, if you were a LinkedIn trainer, how would you take LinkedIn and, and make LinkedIn something that would, um, improve, uh, somebody's, uh, life or a group of people's lives. You know what I mean? What would you do? And I had the idea that I.
Would create this workshop or series called LinkedIn and High Heels, and there's a story behind that by Hilton, but that I would create something for women business leaders called LinkedIn and High Heels and, um, to, to get them to rise up. So, you know, you can wear anything you want, but to rise up to the occasion, and how you could brand yourself effectively.
On LinkedIn and get over imposter syndrome and really create a space, um, as a woman leader on LinkedIn. And so when I presented this, and the funny thing is, is that I really didn't have an idea. So I presented it, won the contest, went to Calgary, ended up, you know, at this conference, which was kind of like the, what I won, um, ended up at a coffee shop.
I'm standing in line. I see somebody with the LinkedIn. jacket on. And of course, I know everything there is to know. So I decide that I'm going to pay a latte forward. And I'm going to, all of a sudden I got this idea, I'm going to call it a LinkedIn latte. So person orders and I come up and I say, I'll pay for that, you know, I'll pay that forward.
And so then I said, and here's your LinkedIn latte. And then anyway, we ended up sitting down and had an interesting conversation. Two hours later, when we should have been at the conference and networking, we were kind of like chatting. And then this whole idea came up that I, about what I had presented and why I had won and all of this.
You know, the whole story behind it, and it, it just, let's just say that coffee, and I think coffee is so powerful in creating relationships and opportunities, and I, I use the LinkedIn Latte thing ever since, but, don't trust anyone who doesn't drink coffee, by the way, yes, but it doesn't even have to be a coffee, it can be anything.
It's just that whole idea of social, like I call LinkedIn Latte everything, um, you know, but the whole idea of just. Using something to create connection. And with that coffee, I ended up being introduced to some key players at, at LinkedIn and people who liked my ideas and people who supported me and, and I ended up.
Just becoming kind of this. I don't, I don't want to say I was part of the LinkedIn team I wasn't at that point but it was somebody that they were looking at as you know somebody as a speaker somebody they could trust, because at that time we got to remember this is quite a ways back it doesn't happen today.
But they were looking for people who needed, who could, you know, spread the word and help people learn about their LinkedIn, uh, learn more about their LinkedIn experience and their LinkedIn profile and optimizing their profile because that's not really what LinkedIn Canada does. It's not what they do either.
Right. They're for sales. That's how they make money. So anyway, so it transpired and it grew. And then I ended up actually working with LinkedIn, like working with LinkedIn as an external liaison for University of Toronto for, um, uh, for a three, a three year period and actually working on LinkedIn learning and optimizing your profile.
And so that was a significant, um, three year stint of working with LinkedIn, like working in that capacity. So, yeah, so that's how it all transpired. So that's quite a ways back. And ever since then, ever since being. Having the opportunity to present what I would want to do with LinkedIn, um, ever since then, I, I've been a believer and I, I am just promote it wherever it can go.
And right now in 2024, it's no longer optional before it was, it's no longer optional today. No, I agree. I'm shocked that When I see people that aren't on LinkedIn, um, and I don't know how they, I don't know how they, they support their own careers, you know, I guess they're just happy with the job they have.
And that's great for them. And I hope that they never lose it. No, like that. And that is the issue because many people think that they only should be on LinkedIn for a job. If they're not looking for a job, then hey, let me get off LinkedIn and then go back if I need a job. And that creates so much havoc with your space on LinkedIn.
Mm-Hmm. , your, your algorithm. Mm-Hmm. , um, how your algorithm runs on LinkedIn and, and actually you're not, you're doing yourself a disservice because LinkedIn is actually a networking site. So if you're only on there to find a job, then you're taking away all of the, all of what has to happen on LinkedIn to lead up to, to that, you know, you're not building those connections.
You're not building trust. You're not showing your expertise. You're not working with the LinkedIn algorithm by, you know, only coming in when you think you should. And that's just totally like a myth. It's just because LinkedIn is at the end of the day, a net, a networking site and everything is grounded in.
You're like, let's put it this way. You're like ability score on LinkedIn is how well you network. Right. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Um, and it's, it's, it's like, you know, demonstrating your expertise anywhere else in the world to, you know, LinkedIn is just, you know, it's, it's, um, Kind of like a microcosm of the rest of the world, right?
It's just like condensed into one space. Um, so the opportunity is huge if you can take advantage of it by demonstrating your expertise and like sharing knowledge and ideas with people, you know, connecting with interesting people, getting curious. Um, I do find like, this is why I love LinkedIn so much.
It's because it's, it feels like the majority of people there, Have like kind of that growth mindset that you, you want to cultivate with your, in your network, or at least I do. The people in my network, you know, tend to be doing interesting things. They're curious. They're starting businesses or starting interesting projects or volunteering.
They're getting involved in their communities. Um, and I think that's amazing. And so when you told me that there's actually, um, this, this rather, you know, surprisingly large group of people that are actually using LinkedIn as like a tool for bullying, um, and then there's sort of like a dark underbelly. I was so surprised.
Um, can you, can you lead us into that a little bit? Yes, I mean, it's not, you know, I wish I could say that LinkedIn could hide itself from bullying. I, and I don't say this, and I talk about bullying on LinkedIn a lot. Um, and I don't say it to discourage people from using LinkedIn. I mean, I'm such an advocate for LinkedIn.
But I, you know, LinkedIn is one of those sites where people Go in sometimes blindly like they they want to go in believing that we're everyone's professional and everyone is going to take that professional space seriously. And, um, lift each other up and it is nice to believe that and for the most part, bullying on LinkedIn is a little bit more discreet and it's not in your face like it is with some of the other social media sites.
So, because of that, many people don't suspect it there. And, but it's, it exists, because at the same time. Naturally, there are people, jealous people, um, angry people, um, frustrated people and LinkedIn can be kind of a really good place for them to, um, take out the, those feelings. And, um, bully or harass people is a way for them to, um, gain power.
I mean, bullying on LinkedIn is no different than bullying any place. Um, bullies are, have, um, a need or a desire to, um, lash out at others as a way to mask their insecurities. And when you're dealing with LinkedIn in a professional site. You're dealing with a lot of power players, you're dealing with jealous colleagues, these are just the potential.
You're dealing with people who are very opinionated, and I mean that in a very exaggerated way. And you have people who are wanting the attention and not knowing how to get it in any other way. Right? And then you have what I call podmasters. And they are the, the ones that look like they're your best friends and act like they're your best friends and look like they're really looking out for you, but they're not.
And they, they go after you and control you in a way to, to, that looks to you like support or feels like support and inclusivity, but it's actually not because as soon as you make a wrong move. You're also from the group, and that can be very difficult for many people. So it exists. It can just be not as not as visible to people looking in as like YouTube, Facebook, Instagram.
Right. They can be much more visible. So, you know, my idea is that we have to know about it to do something about it. We don't have to know about it to run away from it because bullying exists everywhere. Um, but we have a chance by learning and opening ourselves up to understanding how it plays out to do something about it when we're in that situation.
And I think that that's what's important to me because I've had bullies in my life. And when I became old enough to, to understand it and to do something about it, I decided to become a true advocate and do something about it. And because LinkedIn takes up so much of my life. Learning about some of the stories that I have over the years, just kind of like those stories kind of did it for me like they kind of like the like where I was going with LinkedIn and kind of just created another space that I could that I found myself in been very passionate about because It's not something that's talked about that often when it comes to LinkedIn, but something that's really important to talk about.
A hundred percent. And I think it's, it's, you know, when you go on Twitter, when you go on YouTube, it's, you see the comments, it's kind of easy to ignore them in a way because you're ready for it. You know, you're ready. They're there, you're, you're kind of your guards up, you know, and I know sometimes I've posted some, you know, YouTube videos, like weird as in the workplace videos, uh, and there have been quite a few, usually they're in the DEI or, you know, inclusion space.
Which is very sad. And those are the videos that get targeted the most, you know, by online bullies and dissenters and people who are just philosophically opposed, you know, to, to being kind to others, essentially, you know, and actually including others and considering others. So, um, which it sounds crazy, but, um, you know, they're, they're, they're out there.
So, yeah, but, so, but, but the, the point is, um, you don't expect that on LinkedIn. Right. So, you know, I think that it is. harder to handle when you're not expecting it. You know, when you're, you feel like you're, you know, in a space where you can be authentic and let your guard down and then, you know, then it hits you and then something happens.
Um, and that's probably even, that's probably that much more traumatizing, I would think. It is. And, and it's happened to several people and, um, it's, it's so, um, impactful that I mean, you know, I could tear up at some of the stories that I've heard over the years because you, you know, most of us go into LinkedIn with so much trust and we're remote.
We're doing is we're going on LinkedIn because we want to open that open our, how do you say that? Our circle of trust. We want to open that by going on LinkedIn. And then what happens when we do encounter a bully, our, our, our power, our trust. Like it, it, we suddenly, suddenly something happens and we're just not expecting it.
We're not expecting that that's going to happen. Right? So, so what happens is it just may, it, it, everything it, that we've gone into LinkedIn with thinking about and imagining and, and that, that, that circle that we want so badly to, In large suddenly has been disintegrated with with with a remark or, um, with bullying or harassment and it closes people down it.
It it's sometimes unrecoverable for some people, they just can't come back, they leave the platform like it because it's so they just went in there with a sense of trust and they didn't suspect anything. So when that happened, it was so devastating that the result was devastating as well. And that's why I'm happy to be talking about it and writing a book about it.
Because. Awareness will is key awareness is that you go into LinkedIn, but you still have to have kind of and I call it like, you know, a bully alert system. And just be aware that it can happen because LinkedIn is not immune to bullying, LinkedIn is not immune to it. It's just. It may show up in different spots.
It may hide its ugly head. And it's easy to hide. Bullies can easily hide on LinkedIn because they can use What's there for them, like direct messaging, they can put things in like a really crowded, like, um, let's say a post does really well and they can take that post and manipulate it in some way, shape or form.
So there's just little, little way, there's, there's more ways to do it on LinkedIn that is not as outward as you would see on some of the other sites. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think it's very interesting, especially if you're someone who's new to LinkedIn, you know, that that phase that those first several weeks or months when you're on LinkedIn, or if maybe you're coming back, maybe you've had an account for a while, but you've never really been active, you know, and you decide to become active on LinkedIn, those are like really vulnerable moments, you know, like it's usually people are stepping way outside their comfort zone when they begin to become active on LinkedIn.
And so, you know, I can see that that would, that would be very difficult. Um, I have a lot of experience with bullying as a younger person. Um, we were bullied, bullied pretty profoundly, uh, you know, in, in, um, you know, when, in the younger years, um, And, uh, yeah, so I, I mean, I, I've never tolerated it with anyone.
It's one of my major triggers. You know, even I've, we've been walking with my husband on the street, you know, seeing kids bullying another kid and I will lose my shit, Shelly. I will literally like, I will, I will go off, you know, and, and I'm not like saying we should go yell at other people's kids or whatever, but it's happened once or twice.
You know, like it's just it's just such a big trigger like you should never treat people with disrespect. You know, I get it. I get it. Yeah. I don't I don't sit back and I, I can be pretty quiet, Matt, like my manner is kind of quiet. But when it comes to that I become somebody different. I, I, because I was bullied, um, and that's how the LinkedIn and High Heels came out, which you can talk about later, but I, um, yeah, it's a trigger for me as well.
And it's a trigger for me on LinkedIn as well. It's, it's like when I see it, because I became a CSI on LinkedIn for a year and reached out to people who had no, who were no longer active because I did a changemaker series for about three years where I, Every month, pretty much every month, I had a change maker series on people that I had become acquainted with or even friends with on LinkedIn.
And suddenly I saw people dropping off and not being there anymore. And so reaching out to them or finding them through another method and then hearing their stories. It just broke me. It really broke me because, you know, what happened when I was younger broke me as well. I mean, I recovered. I took that adversary and, you know, that adverse situation when I was, you know, 12 and 13, and I, I turned it around so that I could, you know, That I could do something good.
Um, but it breaks me when I see it. So when that happens, I, I become a different person because I can't just let it happen. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a psycho. Like they will never do that again. I guarantee you. I'm yeah, for sure. Um, and we're in it, you know, if my kids, if I see my kids even, cause I've got three, they're teenagers now and they're very well adjusted somehow.
Um, but, uh, you know, if I ever saw any of that behavior from them, even to each other or to other people, that was the last time they ever did that. Believe me, I can be scary. Like, you know, nothing scarier than a person who's been bullied and who's an anti bully. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we have to, anyway, I think they need, they need people like us.
Yeah. So how can everyone kind of keep an eye out for this kind of behavior? And what do you do if you notice it? So there, uh, so there are different things that can show up on LinkedIn, which is a form of bullying. You know what? I always say, go with your gut. Cause I've been told that over the years, if it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't right.
You know, if somebody, so I had a bully recently, people would not call that person a bully, but I am calling that person a bully. And the reason I say that is because I really don't put out anything on LinkedIn that I don't know something about, you know, I mean, they don't go there to be anybody else or I don't, you know, I have the, the things that I've honed the, the, you know, my expertise that I've honed.
And I usually really am very aware, and I plan what I'm going to share. And I share from the perspective of, of knowledge, like I, like I, I know, or it's an example or a story or some expertise. Sure. So anyway, this one person I've been in, you know, career development, like I said, a long time over 20 years.
And I put out something about, um, a resume and I, I told people not to post their resume on LinkedIn. And I'll tell today, do not post your resume on LinkedIn. Anybody can download your resume on LinkedIn, and that is a great way to say, okay, take my identity, you know, if you want to, that's it, you might as well just invite people post their whole resumes, like with their addresses and everything.
Yes. Okay. Yes. And they posted in the featured section or they posted. Now, if you post it for a recruiter in the private section, that's different. Nobody accesses the private place to for jobs because that's private. That's only between you and the recruiter, which is you're sending your resume in for a particular, you know, job that I'm not meant.
I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about like the featured section, people featured section to post the resume. And for people now, if you want to do a resume, but you with the understanding that none of your contact information are on there are no identity of work, you actually like work because that can go back to something like, you can't leave, you can't put a resume up there that could lead to any anywhere like you know, so.
But most people are not aware. So the majority, I can go on and if I find somebody with a resume, chances are that resume has not been edited in any way or docked any way to make it, um, okay, confidential, confidential and private. And you're just basically putting it up there, but you don't need to put it up there.
Somebody's going to ask you for your resume. If you're a job seeker, they're going to ask you, they need to, I mean, your resume, like your LinkedIn has, I mean, most of the qualities of your resume anyways, I would say, you know, of course your resume, I mean, it's your story, it's your journey, but at the same time, you're still doing your work experience.
You're still. Um, and you don't need to put your resume up there so I, I gave this advice. This one person who told me that's not true. People can put their resumes up there. And at first that was fine. People can have their opinions.
LinkedIn is built for sharing opinions, of course, but she was inviting people into the conversation, her, her friends, she basically telling me, no, it's not that way, and then it turned into. A direct attack at my knowledge. That's where it started to feel uncomfortable. Yeah. No kidding. I can't even imagine.
I didn't do anything at that time because bullies want you to react, right? So I know this, but sometimes it's so hard not. So I got caught up in reacting at the, at the beginning. And then as people came to support, um, her, uh, I kind of like, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Backed away a little bit. Okay. I could see that there was, you know, a bit of, um, unhappiness around the fact that I wasn't responding.
Okay. But I didn't respond. I let it go. I didn't block anybody at that point. I didn't report anybody at that point. I didn't really do anything about it. I just eliminated myself from the conversation. Hmm. Skip a week. I put out something else. Same thing. Challenging me. The same person? Same person.
Challenging me on another issue. That's so weird. Like why? So weird. But I was not surprised because as I said, if it feels that it's not right, you know, it's not right. And I wasn't surprised when she came back. So basically it got to the point that anything I posted, um, she would come back. With, with some kind of attack on what it was her, like, what were her qualifications?
Is she like a competitor or something? Like, what's the deal at all? Like any ter, which I was surprised about because like, you know, if you're in human resources, I would really never work with. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I mean, you're kind of like announcing that you're, you're a big old jerk, you know, you're a big old jerk.
And why would you be looking on LinkedIn in the featured section for somebody's resume? Like if you want somebody's resume, you know that that's private, that's private information. I mean, of all people. You know, of all, of all backgrounds. So it was really surprising for me, but I think it was more personal than anything.
And for, and not that there's any personal relationship, I don't have a personal relationship. I just don't think that either. She didn't like what I said, or just, I was the target that she decided to target. And, um, I became a target and I could see it. And so there came a point when I. Started to be feel very anxious when I would go and post on LinkedIn and I feel very comfortable on LinkedIn.
It's not a space that I feel. Uh, I feel good on LinkedIn. And so right away I said no. As soon as I feel like that, no, I can't go any further. So I decided to do what I had to do and I, I had taken screenshots I had taken because I was gonna block and, and, and, um, eliminate all the, those conversation.
Mm-hmm, . But you can't do that until you. Record everything, because LinkedIn will take, it'll only take seriously as much as you can provide, as much as the evidence you can provide. So I did all of that, I took all kinds of screenshots of the conversation, what was said, even, and so then at one point I even got a DM, a direct message from that person, saying that I should stop putting things out on LinkedIn that are wrong, I'm going to ruin my credibility, and it was horrible.
So I thought, no way is this going to be my experience on LinkedIn, so I'm going to get my, you know, I'm a bully advocate. I know what to do, and this is a perfect example to do it. And I just went about, I, I reported her. I sent in all the documentation, because when you block somebody, they can't see anything from you, and you can't see anything from them.
And so it's great. It's a lot more effective than just unfollowing or, um, you know, discontinuing the connection. Um, so that was important and I reported to LinkedIn and I do know that she got a warning of what she was doing. Because it started off with that one post, but then it ended up being three or four before I did anything about it.
And that was long for me, but there was kind of a reason why I let it go, I normally wouldn't, but I wanted to use it to teach people. And I wanted to, uh, and I, I'm using it as a, as a teaching moment, but when, you know, it didn't feel good at the beginning. And as much as, just as I expected, it became something and the more that it happened, the more, um, aggressive the, the, the conversations became the more, um, like, I'm going to say Sally, you weren't doing what you were told.
So, you know, yeah, like just really, really, it went from being just challenging to, um, To being aggressive. And that's what you understand a bully and behavior. And so I, um, and then I put a stop to it after, after that, but that was my most recent encounter. Yeah. I'm really sorry to hear that you had to have that experience.
Yeah, it wasn't pleasant, but at the same time, I know how to handle it. Right. Like I, I, and that's. I guess that was another reason why I started the book. I had been putting information away for the book. Um, that incident there told me that I had to start writing the book, get it out there because unlike, I mean, there are a lot of people being bullied and much worse than what that example much worse than what I was harassment.
Like that's legitimate harassment. Yeah. Yeah. People have been. You know, and we can talk about that, but there have been other, other examples that are much worse, um, in the end, some have been taken offline, some have been taken offline, the bullying continued offline, and so that could, that can be. You know, pretty, pretty detrimental and friend as such.
So if someone feels like they're being bullied, obviously, like if you feel like you're being bullied, reach out to somebody like Shelly or even myself, like I'm always happy to jump in and, and support people as well. But um, what, where, where do people actually report? Like how, how, what's the process look like if we're actually reporting something?
On your profile, there's actually different places that you can go to, but we'll give one for example. So if, so in my case. When that person, um, sent that, sent that message, as soon as she sends the message in the, the, the conversation, there are three dots on the top corner, right? If you hit that, those three dots immediately, you can do something.
So there will be different options. You want to report this? Do you want to block this? Do you no longer want to follow this person? It depends on what your relationship is with this person, but they'll ask you a different answer. Um, or do you want to block, uh, do you want to report? So I hit at that point, I hit, I want to report and then it'll give me different, different options.
Okay. And you have to pick the option that relates to the situation. Okay. So record, record everything first, like take screenshots. Um, but I asked you for it. Okay. They're going to ask you for it. Okay. So take, take the screenshots you need to take, report them through LinkedIn. Um, and then what are the consequences through LinkedIn if they're reported?
So LinkedIn will either. So there's different things. I mean, I think LinkedIn has a long way to go in, in terms, but I mean, you've got to remember that there's a billion, over a billion people, right? So it's not like they can implement anything and it. I just want to say that the blocking, I have to say this because a lot of people don't know this, but the blocking feature didn't come originally when LinkedIn started.
Blocking feature came in about 2014 when a woman who was being harassed on LinkedIn won a lawsuit against LinkedIn. Okay. And because of that lawsuit that she won. Um, LinkedIn had to implement the block feature, right? So, every time LinkedIn does something, it's, it's huge. It's big. So, they, it doesn't happen overnight.
So, the more that you have, the more they will respond to it. And, many people have been disappointed. You know, when I talk to people who feel that they've been bullied, they've been disappointed with some of the responses that come from LinkedIn. Like, it doesn't meet. The requirements. Mm-hmm. Of being considered bullying or harassment. And so then when that happens, if LinkedIn is not gonna support you, that means LinkedIn is not going to do anything on, on the end of that individual. Right? So that means it's in your hands to do something and that's when the blocking and anything like that else that you can do. Um, because if LinkedIn doesn't make a move and sometimes they don't.
Then it's up to you to just protect yourself in that way, and I think the blocking feature at this point is basically the feature that you have to not engage with that person. Now there have been some people, you know, there are people that go above and beyond real heavy duty bullies who will make fake profiles.
And when it's a fake profile, then, and you don't know, that's why when, when it comes to, um, weeding out these fake profiles, again, you can report it to LinkedIn. If it's a big profile, if you feel it's a big profile and there are really like, you can spot a big profile. If you really look. Because if that person has built a profile and they have two connections, uh, you know, there's certain little things like that that you can, that you can kind of get an idea if you look close enough.
So, you know, if you have had a bullying experience, and you just feel that that person may be somebody that's not going to stop or, and maybe you won't even know. Just remember when these invitations to connect are coming through, make sure to do your due diligence by looking at that person's profile, because you, you can be you, you can be responsible and you can find those spammy.
Um, those spammy connection requests and the, and, and, you know, there, I, I'd like to just give an example of what I mean. So there was a rabbit hole there. Sure. So there was a connection of mine. Uh, who is, you know, I was quite close to and a friend as well when I was living in Toronto and there was a situation, uh, with an ex and, um, the ex was stalking her on LinkedIn, New Worship, obviously, um, and it got pretty bad because there were comments made in order to have her fired from her job.
Um, there were all kinds of, like, insults and, um, DMs and, and as soon as she would block, um, him, he would just do a new account. So, um, she did screenshots of all of these accounts and eventually LinkedIn listened to her, but at the beginning they were not listening to her. So she took it in her, in her own hands, like she reached out to me, which I was happy about and said, You know, this is happening to me and it's, it's, it's ruining me like I, I can't sleep, I can't eat.
And I said, this is what you're going to do. This is what you're, you know, you have to make sure you're being diligent. You know, some people just accept connection requests, like, you know, they're falling from the sky and, and don't, It's not a, you know, connection request when you're dealing with bullying behavior, you have no choice, but to be diligent when you're looking at the connection requests that are coming your way, unless, unless you know, or unless you're pretty, unless you can look at the profile and know immediately that, that it's fine.
But if you're kind of doubt, then you don't want to do that. Use your gut instincts, have a bully because you know, bullies are smart. And even if you have mutual connections, that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Cause like, you're right. Some people just accept anyone, you know? So even if you've got mutual connections, that might not mean anything.
So you have to be very diligent. If you're dealing with a bully, don't think anything goes past them. And just remember that they can just come up like a chameleon and, and, and change their spots. And it's just the same bully just in a different, just in a different profile. But if you look deep enough, if you look, Diligent enough.
Most of the time they haven't had a long time to build their connections. So if you just look at that one piece of evidence alone, you know, and just, you'll get it. You'll get it. You'll feel it. And I think that that's just one thing you can do. Um, and, uh, anyway, that the person that I was referring to that had that bullying case, you know, Went off of LinkedIn for a year and a half after being bullied so much that she couldn't handle it, and it was so sad to, to, to see that happen to that degree.
And, and it's just so it's just important to be aware that it exists and it happens and, um, and people take it online because they can use something like your job, something that you're close to something that's important to you. They can use that and what they're going to go after. And that's what makes LinkedIn attractive for bullies in that way, especially when it comes to using your.
professional, the professional side to dig in and throw that knife or whatever you want to call it into the, uh, into the steak. I love it. I'm the worst metaphor person in the world, by the way. I mix up every single metaphor. So I was just waiting for what you were like, what's she going to say? Which, what are we throwing the knife into?
Um, I love it. Um, if there's, okay, so You, you work with a lot of people who are, you know, new to LinkedIn, you work with folks to get them from, you know, kind of a basic level to kind of an expert level. What is the best reason we've, we've talked a lot about like, you know, some trials and tribulations here with LinkedIn, but what is really the best reason to use LinkedIn in your opinion?
Community, the, the power of community. I mean, LinkedIn for me, well, it's all about community. I think. Communities are powerful. Um, and it's an incredible place to build community and I mean a global community. I'm a person who, you know, I've traveled, I, I just, I'm in diversity, equity, inclusion is another part of my, you know, portfolio, my, my expertise.
So it's so important for me for that global community and even moving, like, when you think about it so I've been, you know, Since I'm on LinkedIn, I've moved probably four provinces, and I don't have all contacts, even coming to, you know, I'm in Nova Scotia now, from Toronto to Nova Scotia, I didn't have a community here.
So what I did was I reached out. On linkedin and built that community so that when I came here, I could have some linkedin lattes with people and build at least that professional side and, and, you know, some have turned into be to be good friends and that provided me with the support because I'm a people person.
So, you know, it. Take that out of the equation and you're suddenly moving in moving somewhere where you don't have that community like I had an awesome community in Toronto, and an awesome community in Montreal and etc etc like, I mean I had my community. And so moving here with a business. And, you know, what do I do so actually LinkedIn was.
The key player in setting up that community for me, um, because I was able to come here and already schedule those kind of meetings and already feel like I know people like when we actually like, I think I had seven copies lined up when I got here. And when we actually met. It was like, there was no awkwardness, there was like no, we just, it was like we knew each other.
So there's a power in that, and when you're working with new grads like I have, you know, in university and college, like, I, They may be moving if they open their opportunities to moving to different places, this opens their opportunities for jobs. And so, but many fear going to the unknown that they built community.
And that's how I get them to break that fear of not moving somewhere else by building that community on LinkedIn so that they can continue building that community. offline once they get there. And so for me, it's, it's the power of, of community. Yeah. I think people need people like people need people. We are wired to need people.
We are wired to connect, um, and to support each other. And I think You know, people who don't think they need people probably you need, if you're out there and you're listening right now and you think I don't need people, I'm great on my own. I call bullshit because you will be a hundred times better if you have a good community around you to support you.
Um, I, yeah, I think that's true for everyone. Maybe you need community even more than everyone else does personally. Um, Yeah, and you be successful on LinkedIn, you need community because it's the community that's going to, to help you to grow. You know the power on LinkedIn isn't is really the second. So, you know your first connections.
Yeah. , but the power is really in the second connections because I can introduce you, I can tell somebody else, just like I was telling you earlier about different podcasts and, and, and yeah. And you know, I, it's the power of being able to share. It's the power of being able to, um, introduce It's the power.
It's, it's, it's, it's the power in building community for each other. Like, and so, yeah, it's just, it's so powerful. It's just, yeah, it's, yeah, it reminds me almost of that quote. Um, the more I know, the more I realize I know nothing at all. Right. The more people you connect with, the more you learn, the more you realize, like, wow, like my world, your world is so small.
There's so much out there. You know, so many, there's so many people, like a billion on LinkedIn. And you can't be successful on LinkedIn if you, if you go in with the idea that you're going to do it alone. Right. LinkedIn was not meant for that. It's a networking site. So they base everything. On your ability to connect and engage with people, they they based everything that like ability score that I told you about.
It's all based on on the power of community. It's based on the power of helping others. Um, that's what it's based on. So if you want your profile supported, if you want, you know, um, a stronger likeability score and to have a a, a stronger space and in LinkedIn, then the power is gonna rest. And how good you are with building those relationships, not doing it alone.
Yeah. It's just not the platform that was built in that way, you know? Uh, I mean, the mission of LinkedIn was for professionals to help professionals advance. So, uh, right there in itself, and that mission statement has never changed. Some people create their own mission statements for LinkedIn, but LinkedIn actually has its own mission statement.
Of course it does, yeah. They're, yeah, they're a business. And the mission statement is grounded in community. Um, yeah. Just before we wrap up, for starters, thank you so much for joining me today. Um, is there any way for people like, we're going to obviously add all your websites and your LinkedIn connection, like everywhere you could possibly get a hold of Shelly, we're going to put it in the show notes.
So never fear, you will be able to find her. Um, but do you have any actual like public trainings coming up or do you have any like information sessions or how can people learn more about how you can support them with LinkedIn? Yeah, I mean, right now, I mean, the best way is to, you know, to reach out on on LinkedIn, I have a services page there.
And, um, I mean, right now I'm in the thralls of this book and getting that done. So, yeah, I mean, and I've been visiting podcasts like this. And, you know, I, yeah, I mean, LinkedIn is always the best place to, to, I guess to connect. And because that's where I am and that's where I spend the majority of my time on social media I mean I know a lot of people will ask me what are your social media handles and.
I have to think for a moment to actually get there because on LinkedIn, I mean, among the other ones, maybe for social or connecting with family in New Brunswick, but other than that, LinkedIn is where I, you can get to know me without even Yeah, you can get to know me before we actually even speak. So, uh, that's the place to connect.
And I'm always happy to connect with people. Fantastic. Okay. Um, any, any final words, any, like, you know, just one more, a Columbo moment, just one more thing. I just want, you know, LinkedIn is, uh, is very powerful. And this, you know, what I talked about in regards to bullying and harassment is just a precaution.
It's just to say, you know, Don't go there blindsided. If you're looking for a job, it could show up with a potential employer. Uh, it can show up within your community. It can show up from a disgruntled colleague. It can show up with somebody who's just pure jealous of all your wonderful attributes. And just remember, it is a place with a lot of people, with a lot of diversity, which I think is amazing.
But at the same time, things can happen. It has a life of its own. So I just give that one piece of advice is that whether it's LinkedIn or any social media site, just go in with knowledge and go in with the idea that you're just gonna, that you know and understand what is there. And you're not going to go in and be blindsided, you're going to feel powerful.
And so if something comes your way, you'll do be able to do something about it just like I have and just like many people have. And now those people that have come back after being bullied are much stronger for it and much more confident and much more and much better at living LinkedIn life with that awareness.
And so it's actually something that is a good thing to know it's not something to be scared about it's something to say, I'm empowering myself I'm building confidence, and I'm educating myself. Thank you With all of the things that I need to know to navigate LinkedIn successfully and securely. And that's really what it comes down to.
And you're never alone. And you're never alone. And reach out. And reach out. You know, it doesn't have to be Aaron or it doesn't have to be me. There's lots of people within your community that will be helpful and, um, be, be able to just be there if you, if you need to, to answer or need some answers or need some guidance.
I mean, there are a lot of people on LinkedIn that have been there a long time, um, and, and know, uh, the ins and outs of. Getting help on LinkedIn. And so just use it. Um, and don't, and, and do use LinkedIn. Just remember that if you are, they just expect you to have it put the work in to, to provide any evidence or anything that can help your case.
And that, that would, that's not different from anywhere else. So if you're listening to this and you are not active on LinkedIn, consider this your sign that you need to be active on LinkedIn because everyone's got a cool story to share. That's true. Yes, and it's a great place to, um, brand and I, and, and as I said early on in the podcast, uh, LinkedIn is no longer optional.
It's, um, it's expected. So yeah, I mean, unless you're my husband and all you want to do all day is program and then everyone's just very happy for you to just sit in your little cave and program for 24 hours a day and that's fine. Nobody wants him on LinkedIn. Yeah, there are some people that will go on LinkedIn or don't believe they should have it should be on LinkedIn, but for the majority of us, we can benefit it benefit from it.
Right, right, right, right. It has been a pleasure, my lady. Thank you very much for joining me. I always enjoy spending some time with you. Thank you very much. Chat soon. Chat soon. Thank you.
