WhatEvenIsThis's Podcast

Contractor for chaos

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2565464/fan_mail/new] What Even Is This… Anyways? What this season is: This season introduces a recurring short-story segment where I share spontaneous, real-life moments with no structure, no lessons, and no healing agenda—just stories as they happen, told voice-note style. Why it exists: * To keep the podcast light and fun * To capture life’s random, unhinged moments * To embrace ADHD storytelling as a feature, not a flaw When it appears: This segment pops up anytime when something random happens and needs to be said out loud. In this episode 1,  I tell the true story of how a man tried to hire me for violence. No lessons, no morals, just real-time thoughts, chaos, and a firm “absolutely not.”

Letting Go — Why Was That So Hard?

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2565464/fan_mail/new] EP 10: The Aftermath (Season Finale) In this season finale, I talk about what happens after the chaos. Moving out before eviction. Couch surfing with strangers. Security jobs in winter. Job hunting like my life depended on it — because it did. This episode is about rebuilding from zero, finding stability again, and the humbling lessons that come after you think the worst is over. And just when life starts to look up… the past knocks — loudly. Forgiveness. Relapse. Two unused plane tickets. And the moment I finally knew: I was done. This isn’t a fairytale ending. It’s a real one.

Locks Changed on Me — Who Authorized This?

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2565464/fan_mail/new] Locks Changed on Me — Who Authorized This? Four months into relocating, moving in together, and building what I thought was a life… the locks were changed on me. In this episode, I talk about the day I came home and couldn’t get in. No warning. No conversation. No keys. What followed was panic, police, property managers, betrayal, power plays, eviction notices, money disappearing, depression, and realizing—very loudly—that I was being erased in real time. This is what it looks like when control shows up wearing silence. If you’ve ever been abandoned without being told you were abandoned— this one’s for you. Blue Band

The Relationship Had Terms & Conditions — Who’s?

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2565464/fan_mail/new] In this episode, I sit in the uncomfortable space between knowing and leaving. This isn’t the episode where I pack my bags — it’s the one where I pack my thoughts. I talk about what it feels like to be self-aware but still stuck. About recognizing imbalance, power shifts, and emotional conditions… yet not having the courage (or capacity) to walk away — not yet. We unpack how love slowly became conditional, how my body reacted before my mind caught up, and how awareness without action doesn’t always free you — sometimes it just exhausts you. This episode is for anyone who’s ever thought: “I see it… I just can’t leave yet.” Small doses. Big truths.

When Love Became a Bill — Who Set Me Up?

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2565464/fan_mail/new] In this episode, I unpack how love quietly turned into obligation — when “we’re in this together” became a one-sided financial burden. From going half on bills that were never really half, to carrying emotional and monetary weight that wasn’t mine to hold, this is the story of how support slowly became exploitation. This episode explores the guilt economy, shrinking your needs for the sake of peace, and the moment you realize you’re no longer a partner — you’re a resource. Because cheating hurts your heart… but money issues quietly drain your soul.