Why Marriage?

Next steps in the 'Why Marriage' journey

If you've enjoyed listening to the podcast and would like to know more about how marriage can both reflect and benefit from a spiritual dimension, we have suggested some follow-on resources: 1) Tim and Kathy Keller’s podcast series: ‘Cultivating a Healthy Marriage [https://marriage.gospelinlife.com/]’. It’s an excellent place to hear thoughtful teaching on the Bible’s view of marriage as a covenant which reflects God’s own with humanity. 2) The couple have also written a book called ‘The Meaning of Marriage’ [https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=the+meaning+of+marriage&adgrpid=56960796601&gad_source=1&hvadid=259079259500&hvdev=c&hvexpln=0&hvlocphy=9221451&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=6685255624076866055--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=6685255624076866055&hvtargid=kwd-300757154624&hydadcr=24430_1816093&mcid=d4ca420cca4f36878777845ce12c90b3&tag=googhydr-21&ref=pd_sl_91ewsuu124_e]which goes deeper into topics such as the secret of marriage, the essence of marriage and the power of marriage. 3) There is is a short film series called ‘Know God’ [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQuh7soEVl8&list=PLHvce-kc-eauvYudQTiQaV7OwRzpmNaRr&index=1]made by the Jesus Film Project if you’re interested in finding out more about the Bible’s story of love and rescue. 4) There is also a YouVersion Bible plan available called Covenant Explained [https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/65822] about the theme of marriage in the Bible… 5) Finally, if this series has sparked any questions or would like to get in touch with a member of a team to continue your exploration journey, send an email to: questions@familylifeuk.org [questions@familylifeuk.org]. You can find out more about FamilyLife, which is part of Agapé UK, [https://agape.org.uk] the organisation behind this podcast by visiting our website [https://familylifeuk.org].

Why is Marriage Good for the Soul?

In this special episode, FamilyLife Global directors, Neil and Sharoll Josephson share about how marriage can contribute to our holistic development as human beings. They share about the highs and lows of their own 47-year-long marriage and what has sustained them over its course. Key quotation and references: Website: Familylifecanada.com [http://Familylifecanada.com] Books: Henri Nouwen – Wounded Healers Research: Andrew Greely report Quotations: ‘Marriage is our last best chance to grow up’ ‘We rarely criticise somebody to better behaviour, we inspire somebody to better behaviour by believing in them’. ‘There’s something really freeing about being entirely safe’. ‘No marriage counsellor can change your heart’. ‘The resources of your spiritual heritage can touch you in places that will bless your marriage’. ‘I experienced what Blaise Pascal called a God-shaped vacuum’ ‘I think there’s something wrong about the ‘you complete me idea’...I don’t believe that’s possible… there’s a misplaced spiritual hunger’. ‘We all come in to a marriage with a relational dowry’ ‘If you have pretend honesty in your marriage, you will get pretend intimacy’

Why is Marriage Good for the Poor?

Harry Benson, research director of Marriage Foundation, examines the topic from the perspective of lower income groups. He addresses how the destigmatisation of pre-marital sex in the 1960s and 70s was disadvantageous for the poor, who no longer benefitted from the protection of marriage. He discusses how marriage went from being a 'cornerstone' - a foundation for life, to being a 'capstone' - a symbol of individual success and completion. He shares the findings of the Millennium Cohort - a study which revealed how the poorest couples who married were more likely to stay together than the richest couples who never married. Finally, he emphasises how 'people are hard-wired to want reliable love' and that marriage offers the best chance of receiving this. Key references and quotations: ‘The cornerstone has become the capstone’ ‘We are hardwired to want reliable love; the act of marriage itself sends a strong signal that you are serious about giving and receiving reliable love’. ‘It is easy to slide rather than decide’. ‘There is a huge buffer against poverty within the act of marriage’ ‘The patriarchy is found in cohabiting relationships. The power rests with the person who is less committed’. 1970s - 9% teenage people not living with both natural parents - now 45%. Explained by marital decline.

Why is Marriage Good for Society?

Tony Rucinski, director of the Coalition for Marriage addresses the important issue of why it matters for parents to be closely involved in raising their children during the early years and how marriage gives families a better chance of being able to do that. He touches on how men and women are different and how the set-up of man-woman marriage is uniquely adapted to help children prepare for life in the world. Tony addresses the unique role of the family and its impact on everything from house prices and immigration to crime and overall happiness. He ends on a hopeful note, revealing how Gen-Z are turning back to marriage and its celebration of traditional values such as sacrifice, commitment and honour. Key references and quotations: Coaltion for Marriage Website [https://www.c4m.org.uk] Books: Erica Komisar - 'Being There' [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Being-There-Prioritizing-Motherhood-Matters/dp/0143109294/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=193184967304&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.aPYBQ-zCDgEDxNAhMqoXT6AJIFuIptqQInpf9raOCyxhMJ5pMg5ngFSahamUpuVfc4iWLrG2AH3RljkoqK0BfQ.WpjE5pIBM5nh2eAtRhDQDVOP8Kqm-5nbDuDMon5qyAM&dib_tag=se&gad_source=1&hvadid=779297339458&hvdev=c&hvexpln=0&hvlocphy=1006598&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=2037534666329991612--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=2037534666329991612&hvtargid=kwd-382469731679&hydadcr=24432_2302334_1513&keywords=erica+komisar+being+there&mcid=7dc8e0ec16913b939e2fa8b7be87d063&qid=1761911080&sr=8-1&ufe=app_do%253Aamzn1.fos.95fd378e-6299-4723-b1f1-3952ffba15af] Mary Harrington - ‘Feminism Against Progress’ [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feminism-Against-Progress-Mary-Harrington/dp/1800752040/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=186028227829&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.oCP6rY0PUDtGP48u4Dy8wTiVVACZoLsM5apwZKj3HHjGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.0h4liErb7VgvsHCejWvcxYbdf6PVLp3pM2-HgA8ozBY&dib_tag=se&gad_source=1&hvadid=779282552764&hvdev=c&hvexpln=0&hvlocphy=1006598&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=66005380148720806--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=66005380148720806&hvtargid=kwd-2014425462848&hydadcr=10807_2162816_3636&keywords=feminist+against+progress&mcid=12d328b09c333e83bc4c063efa5fbc9f&qid=1761911313&sr=8-1] Kimberly Ells - ‘The Invincible Family’ [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Invincible-Family-Defying-Global-Motherhood/dp/1684510554]

Why is Marriage Good for Men?

With a wide-spread cultural narrative portraying marriage as a drain on resources and an unwise investment for men, Carter Skeel, Executive Director of the Institute for Family Studies explains why married men are better off financially, physically, socially and emotionally (married men have 40% higher household income than their unmarried peers) as well as experiencing greater sexual satisfaction. Here are some of the references quoted in the episode: Website: Institute for Family Studies [https://ifstudies.org] Books: Robert Putnam - 'Bowling Alone' [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bowling-Alone-Library-Elizabeth-Morrow/dp/1912127725/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=194864513748&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.tb00kBbgos85rucgWSHVdqtRY9wmRZuAftDqccd-Dih_9mCSTzBr_wN0QlA7Cp0mlck90cTfMr8WKc9taRDijPFdDpyyCx1q3BVDlZzij_6IQMZ6AkLKsBNSV00phaSPLXjT-bX08nKNw9A6J2wx3g.6AHAELUU6FKqitdVabpTMnVxMWb4qrKKlIFe0fwTsU4&dib_tag=se&gad_source=1&hvadid=779370679196&hvdev=c&hvexpln=0&hvlocphy=1006598&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=6291072987413293127--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=6291072987413293127&hvtargid=kwd-308286195576&hydadcr=10833_2162896_3957&keywords=bowling+alone+by+robert+putnam&mcid=3baf7ab7f08f3e89b868067d64653f7e&qid=1761910012&sr=8-1] Jonathan Haidt - 'The Anxious Generation' [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Anxious-Generation-Rewiring-Childhood-Epidemic-ebook/dp/B0CGWS3JQ6] John Mancini - 'How to Make Marriage Great Again' [https://ifstudies.org/blog/how-to-make-marriage-great-again] Articles: Marry early and flourish together article [https://ifstudies.org/blog/marry-early-and-flourish-together] Why Marriage is good for men article [https://ifstudies.org/blog/why-marriage-is-good-for-men] A Mainstream Consensus on the State of Men article [https://ifstudies.org/blog/a-mainstream-consensus-on-the-state-of-men] Quotes: “Masculinity is not a problem to be solved, but a way of being that needs to be channeled in directions that are both good for men themselves and for society. We do need a more expansive vision of what it means to be a man, but replacing the “Man Box” with a different yet highly restrictive and less natural idea of masculinity is not the answer.” – Aaron Renn Reports: Marrying Later Report [https://nationalmarriageproject.org/2022-state-our-unions]