17 assertive rights: you have the right to say 'no' and 'i don't know'
Everyone should learn these and treat as sacred:
1. You have the right to act in a way that preserves your self-esteem and dignity, even if someone finds it offensive - as long as your motives and intentions are not aggressive. You cannot deny others the right to act similarly, even if you find it offensive, as long as their motives are not aggressive.
2. You have the right to be treated with respect, listened to, and taken seriously. You should also treat those who approach you in the same manner.
3. You have the right to say no without feeling guilty. You cannot expect someone to feel guilty if they say no to your request.
4. You have the right to ask for information from professionals, including doctors. It is your duty to inform those who ask you about things and facts that concern them personally.
5. You have the right to clarify any uncertainties regarding the interpretation of your self-assertive rights with the person concerned. You must acknowledge the other's right to do the same, even if you do not see such problems.
6. You have the right to do anything as long as you do not disturb, limit, disadvantage, or obstruct others in asserting their own rights. You have no right to object to anyone's actions as long as the above applies.
7. You have the right to make mistakes, errors, and bear the consequences. You have no right to deny another's right to consider their own mistakes and errors as natural companions of their activities, and not feel guilty for them, as long as the error caused by them does not limit the possibilities and rights of others.
8. You have the right to change your decisions. You must respect it if someone changes their decision in a matter that only concerns them and is their responsibility. You have no right to question why they did so unless their decision violates any agreement or common interest.
9. You have the right to make illogical decisions. Others have the same right, and you have no right to question their own logic.
10. You have the right to say "I don't know." You have no right to expect anyone to fully understand the furthest consequences of their decisions before making them. You have no right to hold them responsible if they acknowledge this and do not consider an aspect that you consider important, as long as they have taken into account the most basic factors and consequences.
11. You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts, and feelings, take responsibility for them, and bear the consequences as long as they do not hinder others' exercise of their self-assertive rights. You must respect others' right to do the same.
12. You have the right not to explain your behavior to others unless it concerns prior agreement or common interest. The same applies to others.
13. You have the right to shape your relationship with others using your own chosen means, as long as you do not violate others' rights. You must acknowledge others' right to do the same.
14. You have the right to decide whether or not you take responsibility for solving other people's problems. If your help is refused, you don't have the right to be offended. You can't expect others to take responsibility for solving your problems. If they do, you have the right to refuse their help.
15. You have the right to feel independent from the goodwill of others when dealing with your affairs, and to disregard whether or not you have previously gained their goodwill. You cannot demand this from others.
16. You have the right to say that you don't understand what others are trying to communicate to you if they are only using signals to convey their intentions, problems, feelings, or thoughts and expecting you to figure them out. You don't have the right to expect others to understand you if you are trying to inform them solely through signals.
17. You have the right to solitude.
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