You Are Not Crazy (Patreon Exclusive Podcast)

[PREVIEW] What the DSM Gets Wrong About Survivors

You’ve probably heard of the DSM—the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It’s often treated like the authority on what’s “wrong” with people. It’s where diagnoses like anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, and personality disorders are defined and categorized. In this episode, I’m breaking down what the DSM actually is—and what it isn’t. These diagnoses are not based on clear biological evidence. There are no blood tests, no brain scans, no definitive markers. They are based on patterns, observations and agreements among clinicians. With the development of the next version (DSM-6), there’s a push to move even further toward a biological model of mental health—despite the fact that those biological markers still don’t exist. That matters for survivors. If you’ve ever been in a therapist’s office and felt like your reactions to abuse were being labeled as symptoms instead of understood as survival… this conversation is for you. We talk about: * Why trauma responses are often pathologized * How diagnoses like BPD are disproportionately applied to survivors * The risk of shifting away from context and toward unproven biology * The history of psychiatric models getting it wrong (like the chemical imbalance theory) * And why your pain makes sense in the context of what you’ve been through

[PREVIEW] When It Feels Real But Isn’t Safe: Understanding Pathological Love, Cluster B Traits, and Repeated Harm

In this episode, I break down one of the most confusing realities survivors face: something can feel deeply real and still be unsafe. We explore the difference between emotional intensity and emotional depth, and why relationships involving coercive control, gaslighting, and intermittent reinforcement create powerful bonds that are not built on secure attachment. I answer listener questions, including: * Was any of it real, or was I being used? * Are these borderline traits, narcissism, or something more calculated? * Why did they get worse when I got stronger? * When does mental illness stop being an explanation and start being an excuse? We also talk about Cluster B personality traits, the patterns that define pathological abuse, and why the cycle—not the label—is what matters most. If you’ve ever felt like you were constantly resetting the relationship, questioning your reality, or trying to understand what you were actually in, this episode will help you name it clearly.

[PREVIEW] Pattern Recognition vs. The Blame Game

There's a difference between someone naming a pattern to seek resolution and someone digging up the past to dodge accountability. If you've ever tried to address what's not working in your relationship and ended up defending yourself instead, this episode is for you. We talk about what healthy accountability actually looks like — and how to recognize when someone is rewriting history to keep you stuck.

[PREVIEW] When Mental Illness Becomes an Excuse for Abuse

This month’s Patreon episode dives into a theme that kept surfacing in your questions: When does mental illness explain behavior… and when does it become an excuse? Before answering your submissions, I break down what we actually mean when we talk about pathological abuse — repeated patterns rooted in personality structure, not just “a bad fight” or poor communication. We explore coercive control, gaslighting, intermittent reinforcement, blame shifting, and the power imbalance that defines these dynamics. I also clarify the differences (and overlap) between borderline traits, narcissistic traits, and antisocial traits — and why the traits matter more than the label. Some of the questions I answer: • Was any of it real, or was I being used the entire time? • How do I tell the difference between borderline traits and sociopathy? • Why did they escalate when I got stronger? • When does mental illness stop being an explanation and start being an excuse? Thank you for being part of this community <3 This is the Instagram video I reference: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DP8CTXVDQ11/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/reel/DP8CTXVDQ11/?hl=en] This is the podcast I mentioned: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1916632/episodes/10257007 [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1916632/episodes/10257007] As always, these Q&As are shaped by your questions. If you want to submit one for a future episode, I’ve reattached the question form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeMInxIFVH04aCaxJiNsA58os45FHcxWtBBa-SFYlwaHBq4Yg/viewform?usp=header [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeMInxIFVH04aCaxJiNsA58os45FHcxWtBBa-SFYlwaHBq4Yg/viewform?usp=header]

[PREVIEW] December Patreon Q&A: Self-Doubt, Trauma Bonds, and Rebuilding Trust in Yourself

This is the December Patreon Q&A episode. Thank you for being here, and especially to those of you who are new. In this episode, I answer a series of listener questions that all circle the same core theme: healing after emotional abuse while you’re still trying to make sense of what happened. We talk about: * Why you start doubting yourself when they suddenly seem calm, kind, or “normal” * Why those moments don’t erase the abuse—and why they’re actually part of the pattern * How intermittent reinforcement and trauma bonding keep your nervous system stuck in self-questioning * How to rebuild your internal sense of right and wrong when you still have to interact with them * Why the trauma bond often gets louder after you leave * What denial is really protecting, and how to gently confront reality without shaming yourself * Whether trauma bonds are rooted in childhood trauma—and what that question often misses This episode is especially for those of you who are out, or partially out, of an abusive dynamic and asking: Why is this still so hard when I know what happened? Why do I keep second-guessing myself? Why does my body react even when my mind understands? We talk a lot about nervous system conditioning, cognitive dissonance, attachment, and why As always, these Q&As are shaped by your questions. If you want to submit one for a future episode, I’ve reattached the question form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeMInxIFVH04aCaxJiNsA58os45FHcxWtBBa-SFYlwaHBq4Yg/viewform?usp=header [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeMInxIFVH04aCaxJiNsA58os45FHcxWtBBa-SFYlwaHBq4Yg/viewform?usp=header] This is the episode I mentioned about change: https://pdcn.co/e/www.buzzsprout.com/1916632/episodes/9907728-will-my-emotionally-abusive-partner-change.mp3?download=true [https://pdcn.co/e/www.buzzsprout.com/1916632/episodes/9907728-will-my-emotionally-abusive-partner-change.mp3?download=true]