Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Come Get Fat With Tom Segura | Your Mom's House Ep. 837

Tom will be touring in Tacoma, Washington at the Emerald Queen Casino, and after that, Oakland, California, at the Paramount Theatre November 30th. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour [https://tomsegura.com/tour] SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on early Black Friday deals. Head to https://Wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair’s Black Friday deals for up to 70% off. - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse - Use code YMH at https://monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. What's up, Chomos?!? It's a super-sized episode as Tom and Christina spiral into complete chaos as they announce Tom’s brand new Italian bakery opening in Austin, debate the official hierarchy of Small Fat, Mid Fat & Super Fat, and revisit one of YMH’s greatest Cool Guys — the meth dude who “came in 4 strokes.” The mommies also break down a billionaire who lost over $300 million gambling, roast Bezos and Zuckerberg’s glow-ups, and discuss why every CEO is suddenly shredded. Plus: fat pets, fart mics, autistic rant guy, and the saddest cat breastfeeding story ever told. Your Mom’s House Ep. 837 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:46 - A Taste Of IT-Ly 00:05:40 - Opening Chaos & Classic Cool Guy Musings 00:10:55 - What Type Of Fat Are You? 00:19:51 - Clip: Rant On Autism 00:22:26 - Clip: The Drooling Gambler 00:29:47 - Clip: Fat Love 00:35:53 - Fat Pets 00:44:49 - Clip: Ex Liked My Farts 00:46:12 - Fit CEO's 00:54:51 - Tommy Lasorda 00:58:31 - Clip: Dressed Up 01:00:57 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:04:18 - Indian Hospitals 01:08:08 - TikToks 01:14:09 - Closing Song - "Principal Coffee" by Chydah Sneeze Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

FedSmoker Jr Strikes Again! | Your Mom's House Ep. 836

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Go to https://Helixsleep.com/YMH for 27% Off Sitewide. - Head to https://BlueChew.com to get your first month of FREE with promo code YMH - Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. It’s almost Jeans-giving, and Tom Segura & Christina P are feeling thankful for historical revisionism, meth-fueled prophets, and the sweet smell of 1700s body odor. The Main Mommies kick things off with a totally factual retelling of Thanksgiving, then dive into life (and death) before antibiotics — when losing a tooth could mean losing your brain. Tom unveils his plan to hit 3% body fat “just to feel something”, Christina confesses her papier-mâché addiction, and they dissect the seeming reincarnation of everyone’s favorite tweaked out double agent asking cops, “What’s your serial number?” Add in J. Lo’s silent treatment to her bus driver, a Barbie with diabetes, and a guy who physically can’t eat a pickle — and you’ve got a classic hour and some change of unhinged YMH magic. Your Mom’s House Ep. 836 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:45 - A Stinky History Lesson 00:08:06 - Opening Clip: What's Your Serial Number? 00:15:49 - FedSmoker Jr 00:20:46 - A Quick Lipshits Plug 00:21:46 - Clip: Cool Neighbor Lady 00:25:48 - Tom’s 3% Body Fat Plan 00:32:15 - Vial & Disgusting Fat Guy 00:38:25 - Christine's Craft Hoarding Intervention 00:43:33 - Piss Break & Diabetes Barbie 00:47:28 - Jennifer Lopez 00:58:35 - Clip: Master Of Clits 01:02:13 - Clip: Afraid Of Pickles 01:06:42 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:12:15 - Clip: Ryan Wants To Be Recognized 01:13:12 - Wyatt Buhl 01:18:00 - Closing Song -"White Girl (With A Fat Ass)" by Odd-Track Numbers Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Did We Find The NEW FedSmoker?! | Your Mom's House Ep. 835

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to http://LIQUIDIV.COM and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. Tom and Christina are back in the Studio Jeans for another week of really wild finds and the discovery of a possible heir to the FedSmoker crown. Before that, Christina launches her new winter makeup drop (“Cuts You Up”) and the Jeans reminisce about classic reality TV — from Wife Swap’s “God Warrior” meltdown to Ice Cube’s bizarre early-2000s race-swap experiment on FX. They then dive deep into constipation talk (suppositories vs. laxatives), hospital horror stories, and whether couples who don’t fart in front of each other are living a lie. Tom reveals his new fear of contact lenses, Christina roasts his glasses, and finally both spiral into laughter over the reincarnation of a YMH legend on a college campus. What’s Up There Chomo? Your Mom’s House Ep. 835 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:54 - Wife Swap God Warrior 00:09:45 - Opening Clip: No Poop For You 00:12:25 - Good Old Fashioned Brown Talk 00:21:19 - Race Swap Reality Show 00:28:24 - Apartheid Museum 00:31:16 - Clip: Gas Station Photographer 00:35:17 - Dad Eyes 00:40:31 - A New FedSmoker? 00:52:22 - Crazy American Melts Down On Boat 00:56:11 - Christina's Curations 01:08:41 - Wrap Up 01:09:48 - Closing Song - "Vocal Fry Jam" by Gaping Dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

A Hamburglar Halloween w/ Ryan Sickler | Your Mom's House Ep. 834

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Head to https://Mood.com and use code YOURMOM to find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover YOUR perfect mood. - Get organized, refreshed, and ready for the holidays for way less. Head to https://Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/YMH. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. Happy Hallow Jeans! Welcome to a very spooky and very fashionable episode of Your Mom’s House! 🎃 This week, Tom Segura and Christina P get into the Halloween spirit—well, Christina does—by showing up as Karl Lagerfeld, complete with fingerless gloves and antisocial energy, while Tom is dressed as a Tom Segura who totally forgets his costume. The jeans dive into Karl’s insane quotes, fashion snobbery, and hatred of sweatpants, before somehow landing on Florida’s trashiest white people, Santa-denying parents, and why Jewish holidays can’t compete with Christmas. Then, the Hamburglar aka Ryan Sickler joins the show to talk about his new stand-up special Live and Alive, why his brow lift left him without a Halloween costume, and how bullying might actually build character. Plus, the Main Mommies also show Ryan some horrible or hilarious clips and everything insane they've been watching this week. ROBBLE ROBBLE! Your Mom’s House Ep. 834 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:57 - Opening Clip: Ryan Needs Some Action 00:06:28 - Halloween On Christmas 00:14:14 - Florida Trash 00:22:50 - Fart Eyes Responds 00:25:40 - Some Gay Stuff 00:34:37 - Clip: Exploding Horny Dude 00:37:48 - Bert 00:40:59 - The Hamburglar Roasts Karl Lagerfeld 00:47:17 - Pudding Unc 00:54:08 - Clip: One Eyed Lady 00:56:12 - Clip: Picky Eater 01:02:09 - Sickler's New Special 01:07:28 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:22:31 - I'm Ryan 01:27:07 - Cafe Bich Nga 01:30:22 - Lars Van Trier Loves H Dog 01:32:18 - Austin's Poop Problem 01:41:38 - Clip: Earl Changes 01:47:19 - Closing Song - "Fuk Me Tonite" by Matt Mercer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Mentalist Oz Pearlman Blows Our Minds | Your Mom's House Ep. 833

Tom's traveling across Texas, Amarillo on Nov. 1st, then Lubbock on Nov. 2nd and El Paso on Nov. 6th. Make sure to get your tickets at ⁠https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Shop SKIMS Men's at ⁠https://SKIMS.com⁠. - Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠https://monarchmoney.com/ymh - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse Tom Segura and Christina P. welcome world-renowned mentalist Oz Pearlman to Your Mom’s House! Oz stuns the crew with mind-blowing mental tricks, wild psychological insights, and a peek behind the curtain of how he reads people. From guessing Tom’s childhood crush to revealing impossible inside jokes, Oz leaves everyone speechless. Plus, Tom and Christina talk Killarney drunks, pickup artist “Mystery,” and the weirdest viral videos on the internet. Your Mom’s House Ep. 833 https://tomsegura.com/tour [https://tomsegura.com/tour] https://christinap.com/ [https://christinap.com/] https://store.ymhstudios.com [https://store.ymhstudios.com] https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast [https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast] Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:04 - Opening Clip: Master Of Redneck Accents 00:10:07 - Sham From Killarney 00:17:39 - Clip: No Neck 00:20:16 - Clip: Coochie Confrontation 00:23:03 - Mystery Is Back 00:35:32 - Oz Pearlman Is Here To Blow Our Minds 00:41:07 - Show N Tell 00:46:35 - Ryan Gets Got 00:54:18 - How'd You Get A Job Here? 01:03:16 - Entertaining Steven Spielberg & Other Heroes 01:12:42 - Christine's Turn 01:19:29 - Enny Hates This 01:22:38 - Birthday Money Trick 01:27:07 - Wrap Up 01:29:23 - Closing Song - "It's A Surprise" by DJ Wet Nut Sack Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]