The Native American Wars Podcast

Episode 14 - Panfilo de Narvaez, the Idiot

An episode where Panfilo de Narvaez, the Butcher of Caonao, manages to prove himself the least competent conquistador to ever live.  Truly an idiot, his fortune was based upon friendship with an aristocratic relative who happened to rule Cuba.  Outnumbering Cortez roughly six to one, he managed to lose his men, his post and his eye.  But his next adventure would make prison and disfigurement seem like a miraculous victory - tune in and find out.  What an Idiot!

Episode 13 - Ponce De Leon (part 2) Names Florida, Dies.

Ponce De Leon obtains the Charter for Florida, then finds it and some not so cooperative indigenous people who have anticipated his arrival and intentions.  See Cayusa tribesman fling items both pointy and barbed at the encroaching swarthy, lustful Spaniards!  See Ponce returning to the same spot near present day Tampa to see what a poison arrow can do to your heart, or your thigh!  See your humble hosts aim poisoned insults at the Tampa metro area!  Feel the frustration of the truncated, "Soprano's" style conclusion!   See if this episode was worth the roughly 3 month wait?  See that despite several episodes of promises, we STILL aren't really in North America!  Tampa doesn't count!

Episode 12 - Dogs of the Caribbean: Drooling Nightmares or Tasty Protein Alternative?

My friends, in this new 'merca, tell me - why can't we have both?  Why wouldn't our best friends trudge across that icy bridge into 'merca with our first peoples?  It's unpatriotic to even think that the new Americans wouldn't bring their puppies with them!  Meanwhile, in the olde country, nomadic tribes from the Eastern Steppes were introducing our soldiers to a number of colossal, bestial breeds for war - Alaunt and Mastiff-types with jaws capable of crushing out the hope of the cuāuhocēlōtl [http://thelastdiadoch.tumblr.com/post/121200787615/cu%C4%81uhoc%C4%93l%C5%8Dtl-part-1-ocelotl-jaguar-warrior](look it up, damned if I can pronounce it).   These animals were armored like the horses of the conquistadors, and you'll hear all about them if you give a listen!

Episode 11 - Ponce De Leon, The Kindest (meh?) Conquistador, Part 1

Meet Juan Ponce De Leon, the conquistador voted most likely to succeed (Order of Calatrava Yearbook, 1487) and the richest man in all Hispaniola.  See how cassava root and a little know-how made Juan Ponce De Leon the most sought after conquistador in Florida!  He doesn't need no stinkin' Fountain! Also, a dog named Becarillo and his buddy Diego de Salazar helped some.

Episode 10 - Surprise, Old World! It's a Gift from Your Spanish Friends!

An episode in which we finally lay Columbus to rest (literally) and talk in brief, hushed tones about the Big Secret that none of y'all's 4th grade History Books ever discussed - the revenge of the indigenous people on the Old World - syphilis.  Controversial theories, insulting implications and shocking revelations abound!  Plus a solar eclipse!  Bring your special sun-glasses and enjoy!  There is some strange grumbling in the background also, to distract and confound your senses, like a roller coaster (virtual of course, we can't even pay for a speedy uber).