Grief Relief for Christian Women | Widow, Support, Connection, Loss of Spouse, Joy, Grief and Trauma

Ep. 11 - Grief, Grace, and Gratitude

Grief, Grace and Gratitude 🎙️ FULL EPISODE SCRIPT Grief, Grace, and Gratitude INTRO Hey Ya'll. Welcome back to Grief Relief for Christian Women, where we talk about faith, healing, and all the things nobody warned us about—like how grief can turn a normal trip to H-E-B into a full-blown emotional meltdown in Isle 9. Yes, I've been there--did that! I’m your host, Patty Jackson, and today we’re diving into three little words that sound sweet enough to put on a farmhouse sign but powerful enough to change your healing journey: Grief, Grace, and Gratitude. But before we dig in, let’s start with prayer. OPENING PRAYER “Father God, we come to You today with hearts that are tender, tired, and maybe a little worn out. You see our tears, You know our pain, and You love us right through it. We ask for Your grace to steady us, Your peace to fill us, and Your mercy to remind us we don’t have to have it all together--not yesterday, today or even tomorrow. Lord, show us the little glimmers of gratitude! Bless every woman listening. Wrap her in Your comfort and remind her she’s not walking alone. In Jesus’ name, Amen.” SEGMENT 1: GRIEF — THE UNINVITED HOUSEGUEST Alright, let’s talk about grief—that uninvited houseguest who shows up unannounced, eats all your snacks, and refuses to leave. Grief is messy. Grief is sneaky. Grief shows up when you’re trying to pump gas or just minding your business, like while cooking or even watching TV. And if you’re anything like me, you may have thought, “Okay, surely this is supposed to get easier by now. Spoiler alert: it really does. Trust me on this! But here’s the truth I learned the hard way… Grief doesn’t follow a timeline. It follows your heart. And some days, that heart needs extra grace. Which brings us to our next part… SEGMENT 2: GRACE — GOD’S GIFT FOR THE DAYS WE CAN’T EVEN Grace is God’s way of saying, “Lady, sit down. You’re doing the best you can.”  Give yourself some grace. Grace is what whispers, “You don’t have to be strong every minute.” Give yourself grace. Grace reminds us that Jesus never once said, “Thou shalt not fall apart in Target.”  Give yourself grace. Grace shows up when we’ve used up all our patience, all our coping skills, and all your emergency food. I had to quit having "emergency food in my house, like Ice Cream, Chocolate, and wine, because when the emergency came, that stuff was already gone. And listen—grace is not only what God gives you, but what you must learn to give yourself. Maybe today grace looks like: Taking a nap instead of pretending you’re fine Saying no to people who drain you Letting the laundry stay dirty for one more day Crying without apologizing for it Grace meets you where you are—not where you think you “should be.” SEGMENT 3: GRATITUDE — THE TINY LIGHTS IN A DARK ROOM Now… let’s talk about gratitude.   I’m talking about the real-life, grief-stage gratitude that sounds more like: “Well, thank You, Lord, that my coffee didn’t spill on my shirt today.” Gratitude in grief isn’t about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about noticing the little mercies that keep you going. Sometimes gratitude looks like: A good hair day when you needed it A friend texting “thinking of you” at the perfect moment A funny memory that makes you smile through tears A day where you didn’t cry until 2 pm Every tiny thank-you is worship. Every moment of noticing good is healing. Because gratitude doesn’t erase grief— it simply gives grief somewhere softer to land.   "When people hear the word gratitude, they think I'm supposed to be grateful for losing Ralph. Not a chance. I would give anything to have one more conversation with him. That's not what gratitude means. Gratitude means I'm thankful for the years we had. I'm thankful for the love we shared. I'm thankful for the people God sent to help me survive after he was gone. I'm thankful that somehow, through all the tears, God took my greatest pain and turned it into a ministry that helps women all over the world. Some days my gratitude is deep and spiritual. Other days it's, 'Thank You, Lord, that I only had to do my makeup once today" 🌸 These are Things I'm Grateful For Even While Grieving I'm grateful that Ralph loved me so well that losing him hurt this much. I'm grateful for the years we had together instead of focusing only on the years we lost. I'm grateful that God never left me, even during the days I was angry, confused, and heartbroken. I'm grateful that my pain became my purpose. I'm grateful that my story can help another widow feel less alone. I'm grateful for every woman who listens to this podcast and realizes she's not crazy—she's grieving. I'm grateful for laughter. Some days it feels like medicine straight from Heaven. I'm grateful for coffee because Jesus works miracles, but sometimes He starts with caffeine. I'm grateful for the memories that still make me smile. I'm grateful for my friends and family, who carried me when I couldn't carry myself. I'm grateful that God helped me rediscover and reimagine my future. I'm grateful for the courage to sell our farmhouse and create a new dream. I'm grateful for my Lexus--the first luxury car I've ever had. I'm grateful for the lessons grief taught me that comfort never could. I'm grateful for every sunrise that reminds me God isn't finished with my story. I'm grateful that healing didn't require me to forget Ralph. I'm grateful for my parents, and I have so many memories of my wonderful, normal childhood. I'm grateful that joy and grief can sit at the same table. I'm grateful for the women God has brought into my life through this ministry. I'm grateful for second chances, new beginnings, and unexpected blessings. I'm grateful for the strength I didn't know I had until I needed it. I'm grateful that God specializes in resurrection stories. I want to explain gratitude — and I want to say this carefully, because gratitude is not the same as pretending everything is fine. Gratitude is not faking it until you make it. It is not dismissing your pain. Gratitude in grief is one of the most powerful, spiritually defiant acts you can do. It is saying to the enemy, "You took something from me, but you did not take everything." It is saying to God, "I still see you in here--in my heart." So here are some of the things I have become deeply, fiercely grateful for on this side of loss — things I might have taken for granted before. I am grateful for the years, the memories, and the moments I actually had. Loss has a way of sharpening your appreciation for what was given. I really don't want to spend so much time grieving what I lost that I forget to be thankful for what I had. Not everyone gets what I had. And that is a gift. I am grateful for the people grief revealed — the ones who showed up and keep showing up.  I know who they are, and they know who they are, and I do not take them for granted. Grief has a way of making you ruthlessly grateful for the right people. I am grateful for the woman I am becoming through this. I did not ask for this season. I would not have chosen it. But I can see — even on the hard days — that something is being built in me. Strength. Compassion. Faith. The kind of faith that doesn't just believe in God when life is good. The kind that believes him when it's not. That is a version of yourself worth being grateful for. And I am grateful, genuinely, for the small graces. The morning that I woke up and actually felt okay. The song that came on at the exact right moment. The friend who texted out of nowhere. The sunrise or sunset that I almost didn't stop to look at. God is in those moments. He is leaving little love notes everywhere! SEGMENT 4: HOW THESE THREE WORK TOGETHER Here’s where the magic happens… Grief will break you open. Grace will hold you together. Gratitude will slowly stitch you back up. They are not separate chapters. They’re all happening at once—like a holy casserole of emotions you didn’t ask for. Some days your grief is loud. Some days Grace holds your hand. Some days gratitude whispers, “Look right here—God is moving mountains.” It’s messy. It’s holy. It’s human. It’s healing. SEGMENT 5: PRACTICAL TAKEAWAYS FOR THE WEEK Here are three things to try this week, ya'll: 1. Name your grief moment each day. Just acknowledge it: Write it down--whatever your grief is at that moment, because I promise you, when you read it later--say next year, you will see how far you have come. 2. Practice one act of grace toward yourself. Rest, soften, breathe, slow down. Just give yourself grace. 3. Write down one tiny gratitude. Doesn’t matter how small because small stack up! As for me, I start every morning with "Thank you, God, for giving me another sunrise, and don't let me waste it today." CLOSING WORDS Your journey matters. Your tears matter. Your hope matters. And you are doing better than you think you are.  If you are listening to this podcast, you are trying, and that's all you can ask for. Give yourself grace. God hasn’t left you for one single second— And He’s going to carry you, comfort you, strengthen you, and lift you until you can walk steadily again. Thank you for spending this time with me today. We heal together. We rise together. And yes, we laugh together too. Until next time, may grief be gentle, grace be abundant, and gratitude show up right when you need it.

Ep 10 - Joy in Grief: Joy Hunting

Joy Without Grief — Joy Hunting In this powerful and joy-restoring episode of Grief Relief for Christian Women, we explore what it really looks like to experience joy again after loss — not the fake smile, “I’m fine,” forced kind of joy, but the gentle, God-given kind that grows quietly in the cracks of a broken heart. I’m introducing you to practice Joy Hunting — the intentional act of noticing, receiving, and welcoming joy back into your life, even while grief is still present. Because, ya'll, joy doesn’t show up like a package on your doorstep. After loss, joy becomes something you look for, choose, and allow. And yes… It’s absolutely worth giving it a shot. Through personal stories, spiritual insight, and real-life encouragement, we’ll talk about: * Why joy and grief can coexist * How God invites you to experience joy without guilt * The small, sacred moments where joy quietly returns * How to train your heart to notice life again * Why joy is not “moving on,” but moving with Grief and God If you’ve ever wondered whether you’ll feel light again, laugh again, or even recognize yourself again — this episode will speak straight to your soul. Grab your journal, or your Notes app on your phone, take a breath, and join me as we learn how to hunt for joy in a season that tried to steal it. Jesus is still writing your story… and joy is still part of it.

Ep 9 - Physical Pain vs Grief Pain

In this episode, Patty invites you to walk beside her as she compares two kinds of healing: physical recovery from rotator cuff surgery and the emotional journey of grief. Physical pain is sharp, located, and with a clear treatment plan—grief pain, by contrast, is invisible and relentless, surfacing in moments, memories, and quiet nights. She breaks down: * The difference between a pain you can point to and a pain you can’t. * How grief doesn’t come with a predictable timeline, unlike medical recovery. * The body’s response to emotional trauma and what “normal” fatigue, aches, and sleeplessness can look like during grief. * Why both physical therapy and emotional work hurt—and why both are healing. * The danger of numbness and the importance of acknowledging and feeling pain to heal. * The reality that you cannot rush healing, whether it’s tendons or expressions of grief. * How grief and faith can reshape your life into a new rhythm, with God present in every rebuilding moment. Patty also shares a personal snapshot: six months into her physical healing and eight years into her grief journey. Her message is clear and hopeful: you’re not alone, and healing is possible—even on days it doesn’t feel like it. If you’re a widow or a Christian woman walking through loss, this episode offers compassionate encouragement, practical reflections, and a reminder that healing happens at the speed of love—and the speed of God.

Ep 8 - Mother's Day and Missing My Momma

Podcast Episode: “Mother’s Day, and Missing My Mama” Hey ya'll, welcome back to Grief Relief for Christian Women. I’m Patty, and today…We are talking about Mother's Day and missing my momma. Mother’s Day holds a whole lot of beauty and a whole lot of ache at the same time. And this year marks two years since my sweet mama went home to be with Jesus. Let me pray for you. “Father, for every woman listening who is missing her mom this Mother’s Day, would You wrap her in Your gentle comfort? Remind her she is not alone. Remind her that grief is a sign of great love. Hold her heart the way only You can. Restore her strength. Give her peace. And let her feel her mama’s love lingering in every treasured memory. In Jesus’ name, amen.” If Mother’s Day feels tender for you — if it feels complicated, or lonely, or even a little unfair — sister, pull up a chair. You’re in the right place. Mother’s Day can be beautiful. But Mother’s Day can also be brutal. Social media turns into a giant Hallmark commercial. Restaurants fill up with families in coordinated outfits. Florists get a workout. Churches hand out roses. And for those of us whose mamas aren’t here anymore… it can feel like the whole world is celebrating something we’ve lost. Two years ago, on May 13th, my world changed. My mama stepped into eternity, and even though I know exactly where she is — healed, whole, and with Jesus — I still miss her voice, her laugh, her hugs! Grief doesn’t erase love. And love doesn’t erase grief. When I think about my mom, the first things that come to mind are her love for Jesus and her strength. That woman could’ve moved mountains with just a prayer...and she did move a lot of mountains in her lifetime here on earth. She loved everyone, prayed hard, and taught me what resilience looks like when life tries to bring you down. I don't know how I would have gotten through the grief I experienced after Ralph died, without my momma's faith and encouragement. I know many of you have experienced the same thing. Losing your mama feels like becoming a different version of yourself overnight — a version you didn’t ask to be. I remember someone telling me once that she felt like an orphan after her mom had passed away. That is what I felt like the day my mom died. My mom was the strongest connection I had to Jesus and myself. My mom's last Mother's Day was May 12th, 2024. She was very sick, but she was alert enough to know that all of her family was there celebrating her for Mother's Day. My dad gave her a beautiful bouquet of flowers as he always did, and sat by her bed and whispered to her (and I can still see this picture vividly in my head), he told her that he loves her and will miss her for the rest of his life, but that it was OK if she needed to go home to meet Jesus. He told her he would see her when he gets to Heaven.  We didn't know it then, but it was only 2 short months later that my dad went home to see her and Jesus. They are together forever.  But here’s what I’ve learned in these two years: My mom may not be here physically, but her legacy still shows up in me every single day. In the way I show compassion. In the way I pray. In the way I mother my own adult son. In the way I serve you, women walking this same hard road. Grief doesn’t just take — it gives. It gives perspective. It gives depth. It gives a new kind of wisdom that only comes from loss. And I like to think my mama would be proud of how I’ve used my pain to help others heal. This Mother's Day, I spent the entire day with my son, Ryan. We went to a Mineral Spa that is about an hour away from where we live, so we talked all the way there, and talked and talked more while at the spa. We talked about my mom (his momo) and how we both miss her so much. I had the best time with him and am so grateful that he wants to spend all day on Mother's Day with his mom! I love being his mom, and I am blessed to have Ryan!  I love that I have so many memories of my mom, and I am blessed that she is my momma! Here are a few things that have helped me, whether it be on Mother's day or really any day of your life. 1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel There is no right way to grieve on Mother’s Day or any other day. Cry if you need to. Laugh if you can. Stay home. Go out. Buy flowers. Don’t buy flowers. There’s no gold star for doing this “right" so do what feels right to you in that moment. Because we know that moment's feeling changes quickly.  2. Remember Her — Your Way You don’t have to make a big production. Maybe it’s: Cooking her favorite food Wearing her jewelry Lighting a candle Looking through old photos wearing a T-Shirt of hers Sitting quietly and thanking God for her life ...There's no right or wrong here---just choose to try something this year and be gentle with yourself.  Grief is love and can exist side by side 3. Let Yourself Be Loved This one might be hard for some.  Let people check on you. Let someone bring you coffee. Let someone pray for you. Let someone hug you! Every Mother's Day, my brother-in-law texts me to tell me Happy Mother's Day. I love this tradition they have, and I love them.  Remember, you are not a burden — you are a blessing. 4. Invite God Into the Day When you feel that "I miss my momma" ache, whisper this: “Lord, be near to me in the spaces she used to fill.” God meets us in the empty places. On this Mother's Day, my heart is tender. I miss my mom. I wish she could hear this podcast. I wish she could see who I’m becoming. I wish I could buy her one more Mother's Day card, and I wish I could hug her neck! But here’s some comfort thoughts: Love doesn’t end. Connection doesn’t end. Heaven isn’t far! And one day, every separation will be healed. Until then, we honor their lives by living ours with courage, faith, humor, and the kind of stubborn hope only Jesus can give. Thank you for spending this Mother's Day episode with me. If today’s episode helped you, share it with someone who might need it. You never know whose heart you’ll help. With love, Patty

Ep 7 - Reimagine After Loss

Have you ever had one of those quiet moments… Not a dramatic, crying-on-the-floor moment… Just a quiet afternoon, in the middle of doing absolutely nothing,  And this little thought floats through your mind… "what's ahead for me?" Not said out loud. Not even fully formed. Just… there. Like a question you're almost afraid to ask because you're not sure you're ready for the answer. Well — if that's ever been you… You are exactly where you need to be today. Because that quiet question? It's not hopelessness. That's the beginning of reimagining. 💛 INTRO Hi y'all, welcome back to Grief Relief for Christian Women. I'm Patty — and if you're new here, welcome. I am so glad you found this little podcast. Pull up a chair. Grab your coffee. Or your tea. And you don't even have to take notes because you can come back and listen as often as you need! Today we are talking about the third R in our grief framework: Reimagine. And before we go one step further, I want to say something I need you to hear before your brain starts doing that thing where it talks you out of everything good: Reimagining does not mean forgetting. It does not mean you've moved on. It does not mean you love him less. It does not mean your grief wasn't real or deep or valid. (I read once that the deeper your love was- the harder the grief is.) Reimagining means you are slowly, gently, sometimes reluctantly… allowing yourself to believe that there is still more ahead. That God is not done with your story. That the last chapter has not been written. And that is not a betrayal of who you lost — it is an act of faith. Let's pray before we dive in. 🙏 PRAYER Father, thank You for every woman listening right now. You know exactly where she is. Lord, give us vision again today. Not all at once — Just enough. Just enough light to see that our lives still hold purpose. Just enough hope to believe that You are not finished with us. Help every woman here trust that the story you started in her is still being written — and that the pages ahead are filled with more than she can currently imagine. We trust You with what we cannot yet see. In Jesus' name — Amen. 🧠 MAIN TEACHING Okay, let's talk about reimagining — because I want to be real with you about how this actually happened for me. It did not look like some beautiful sunrise moment where I stood on a hilltop and felt the wind in my hair and suddenly knew my purpose. (That is not grief. That is a movie trailer.) Reimagining, for me, was small. Very small. It was tiny little thoughts that I almost dismissed because they felt so strange, but hopeful at the same time. Not one or the other, but both. Because that's exactly what reimagining is in the early stages. It's not a clean, confident, kind of hope. It's a quiet, "I'm not sure I believe this yet, but I'm not shutting the door" kind of hope. And hey, that is enough. That is more than enough. Let me tell you how my very first “reimagining my future” went. Remember back in Episode 6 when I told you I discovered I didn’t actually want the barn house and land Ralph and I bought together… so I sold it? Well, the next step in that journey was trying to reimagine where I wanted to live next. I was still working at the time, and I loved my job, so I needed to stay in the area, but where and in what? Rent or buy? House or condo?  I couldn't make up my mind, nor was I in the mood to figure it out. Oh, btw, the ability to make any decisions at all, let alone life-changing decisions, at this point in my grief, was gone. I couldn't make a decision for my life! But here’s the thing: by the time the house closed and the new owners moved in, I had absolutely zero idea what came next. So I sat down with my son — Ryan — and shared this wild little idea I had: “What if I used the money from selling the house to buy a run-down place… and flip it?” Now, Ryan had to be involved because he has a degree in architecture, works with contractors every day, and has basically been in the building industry since birth — his dad was a licensed plumber, so that boy grew up with blueprints in one hand and tools in the other. I imagined we’d find a cute little fixer-upper that just needed some cosmetic updates… paint, floors, maybe a new kitchen faucet — you know, EASY stuff. We’d flip it, make a little money, and move on. Well… I didn’t imagine big enough. But God did. He already knew the plan. Ryan ended up becoming the general contractor for our first flip. And let me just say — the house we bought wasn’t just “run-down.” It was unlivable. He had to level the foundation — and if you know anything about remodeling, you KNOW you pray there are no foundation issues. Well… this house missed that memo. Then he tore it down to the studs, added on another 1,200 square feet, and between the permit delays, scheduling issues, and then COVID hitting… what should’ve taken six months turned into a year and a half and WAY over budget. Finally — FINALLY — it was finished. And we put that baby on the market in the middle of the wildest real estate market Austin, Texas had ever seen. It sold in two days… for 3 times more than what we bought it for. Can you imagine?! I couldn’t. But God? He is so good y'all!! Webster defines “reimagine” as forming a new, creative, or different conception of something — thinking about something in a fresh way to improve or adapt it for a new season. And that’s exactly what happened in that one conversation with my son. I reimagined everything — my finances, my living situation, my relationship with Ryan, even my relationship with my parents… because I ended up moving in with them for four months until I found my house. God used one moment of reimagining to rewrite an entire chapter of my life.  ✨ When Hope Feels Uncomfortable Let me tell you something that nobody warned me about. Hope can feel weird. Like, uncomfortable, weird. You start imagining something — like a trip, a new adventure, a new purpose — and then almost immediately your brain hits the brakes and says, "Wait. Should I be feeling this? And sometimes it even feels a little… wrong. Like, hoping for something good is somehow disrespectful to your grief. Or to him. I want to speak directly to that feeling right now: Hope is not betrayal. Listen to that again if you need to. Hope. Is not. Betrayal. Hoping for a future does not erase your past. It does not minimize your love or your loss. It does not mean you're done grieving or that you're somehow doing grief wrong. Hope is what healing looks like when it starts to take shape. Grief and hope are not opposites. They are not in competition. They can — and do — exist in the same heart at the same time. You are allowed to cry and dream. You are allowed to miss him deeply and wonder what's next. You are allowed to hold his memory close and open your heart to receive what God has ahead. Both. At the same time. 💛 You Carry Love Forward I think it is the biggest misconception about moving forward after loss: Moving forward does not mean leaving him behind. It means carrying his love with you — into what's next. His love shaped you. His presence changed you. The life you built together, the laughter you shared, the inside jokes, the sound of his voice — all of that is woven into who you are now. You do not leave that behind when you step into the future. You bring it. You carry it forward. And I believe with my whole heart: you are leaning into the woman you are becoming — the one being shaped by both the love you received and the grief you've walked through — you are extraordinary. The woman who understands depth and loss and resilience and grace in a way that most people never will. That is not nothing. That is a gift — even when it doesn't feel like one. 🌱 What Reimagining Actually Looks Like Here's what reimagining can look like in real life: Trying something new. A class you've been curious about. A restaurant you've never been to. A podcast (hi) you wouldn't have listened to before.  Saying yes again. To the invitation you almost declined. To the friend who keeps checking on you. To the opportunity that made you think "maybe" before you talked yourself out of it. Yes is a small act of courage. Make plans. This one was big for me. There's something about putting something on the calendar — a trip, a girls' night out, a class, anything — that says to your nervous system: there is a future, and I intend to be in it. Plans are hope made practical. Stepping into purpose. This might be the biggest one. At some point, you start asking: What has this season grown in me? What do I now carry that someone else desperately needs? Your grief story is not the end. It might be the very thing God uses to reach someone else who is right where you were. And here's the key thing about all of this: You don't have to do this all at once. Not in one big leap. Just small openings. One at a time. Think of it like cracking a window. You don't have to fling the whole thing open. Just… crack it. Let a little air in. See how it feels. 🛠️ YOUR ONE GENTLE STEP Alright, I'm not going to say goodbye without giving you something to do with all of this info I just laid on you. This week, I want you to do one thing: Notice one moment of possibility. Just one. It might be a thought. It might be an idea. It might be a "hm, I've always wondered what it would be like to…" It might be as simple as "maybe." When that moment shows up — and it will — instead of shutting it down… instead of saying "oh I couldn't" or "that's silly" or "I don't know if I'm ready"… Just sit with it. Think about it for a moment. before you commit to anything. Don't make any big decisions. Don't even tell anyone if you're not ready to. Just… breathe. Because that is how hope begins. Not with a grand gesture. Not with a five-year plan. With a quiet maybe that you choose not to dismiss. 💛 OUTRO If you could relate to this episode today — I'm so happy.  That's what this space is for. Before you go, can I ask a favor of you? If this encouraged you, share it. Text it to a friend. Post it in a Facebook group. message someone you know who has been quietly wondering if there's anything ahead for her. Because there is. There is so much ahead for her. There is so much ahead for you. Until next time — be gentle with your heart. You are not weak.  You are not broken. You are not lost. You are a woman in the middle of a story that God is still writing. And from where I'm standing? The best chapters are still to come. JUST THINK WHAT YOUR LIFE COULD BE AND WILL BE if you REIMAGINE💛