Peeling the Onion

You're never given more than you can handle

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones deconstruct the popular phrase "you're never given more than you can handle". They argue it's harmful, dismissive, and isolating. The duo also agrees it invalidates real pain, suppresses emotions, promotes solo resilience over relational support and discourages help-seeking, especially for women and across cultures. They talk about: 1. Resilience is not a one-size-fits-all tool. 2. Societal pressure to "keep up" alone; reinforces failure narrative and isolation. 3. Suppressing feelings, invalidates pain (burnout, trauma, grief, chronic illness). 4. British culture expects people to get on with it and in Latin American to accept God’s will 5. Lack of connection 6. Empathetic response options Here are the highlights of this episode: 00:59 Life is not evenly distributed. How can we put everyone in the same group and say... you are never given more than you can handle?" 01:31 If you're having a hard time... the implication is you should be able to handle it on your own. 03:40 It isolates people instead of encouraging them to find the support they need. 04:32 It encourages emotional suppression. 07:00 Do you have to endure the difficult situation no matter what? 07:55 Not looking for help top not look weak. 08:27 Stiff upper lip 09:27 It dismisses real pain 10:20 This phrase is anti relational 10:44 This is hard, how can I support you? 11:54 We thrive, heal and grow when we connect with others 13:34 I am not valuable, I am not important enough 14: 39 No pressure, take your time to process. You don’t have to handle it all on your own 15:09 Struggle doesn't mean failure, it means something needs attention

Feel the fear and do it anyway

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones share their thoughts on “feel the fear and do it anyway”. Fear as a primal instinct, was used for survival, nowadays it is used to name any emotion that brings discomfort and it should not be misused as it can be dangerous and reckless to use it lightly. They talk about: 1. Fear as a primitive emotion 2. The difference between fear, discomfort, anxiety, vulnerability 3. Putting fear in the same box as other emotions may not allow personal growth 4. Learn to describe what you are feeling with different words. Here are the highlights of this episode: 01:05 Fear as the most primitive emotion, evolved for survival. 02:53 Fear is there to tell you there is danger ahead. 03:32 But is it actually fear or is it something else? 04:36 We can't make an informed choice about what we do because we're just blindly leaping in and doing it anyway. 05:07 Putting everything in the same box does not allow us to perceive danger or maybe grow. 06:03 Learn to describe what you are feeling to know what to do next. 07:18 Standing on a cliff and jumping without assessing risks? 09:15 People need to name the emotion and the feelings for what they are. 12:50 Name the emotion or the feeling using different words (expand your vocabulary) 14:49 The internal narrative may tell us to do something we shouldn't 15:23 Try not to confuse the emotions 16:40 Take your time to pause, to reflect, and to feel your emotions.

Finding your purpose

In today’s episode hosts Julia Rogers and Angela Quiñones share their thoughts on “purpose” : find your purpose, live your purpose. By definition purpose is the reason for which something or someone exists, is done or is created. But purpose can also be as simple or as meaningful as you’d like. They talk about: 1. Meaning of purpose by definition 2. Who are you if you have no purpose? 3. Purpose can and may be dynamic and change overtime 4. Purpose can be as simple or and meaningful as you’d like 5. Being ok with who you are and not necessarily trying to save others Here are the highlights of this episode: 1:02 Meaning of purpose by definition 1:38 My purpose is to be ok with my decisions and the things that I do. 2:09 Not everything needs to make everyone happy all the time 2:38 Finding purpose could create an awful lot of pressure on some 3:05 Who am I If I don’t know what my purpose is? 4:03 Doing purposeful things to please others and feel accomplished 5:56 Does not need to be meaningful to other people nor huge 6:03 Finding purpose and validation 7:10 Purpose now can be different from what it was 10 years ago, 7:41 Purpose is dynamic 8:50 Maybe you don’t need to find your purpose right now 9:56 I am better because I have a purpose and you don’t? 10:52 Is it mandatory to have a purpose in life to be successful? 11:40 Purpose does not have to be grandiose 13:51 Purpose could be seen as aims or goals for different stages in your life

Neurodiversity is a superpower

In today’s episode hosts Julia and Angela discuss the phrase "neurodiversity is a superpower" and the implications it can have for individuals with neurodiversity and encourage listeners to share their own perspectives and experiences, and to engage on LinkedIn post in a deeper discussion about the complexities and nuances of the "neurodiversity is a superpower" narrative. They talk about: 1. "Neurodiversity is a superpower". 2. Struggles and challenges individuals with neurodiversity face. 3. Managing the anxiety of neurotypical and neurodiverse people. 4. Validating the lived experiences of those with neurodiversity 5. Lack of real inclusion and diversity initiatives (01:07) Negating the struggles (01:47) We are all in the spectrum… no we are really not (02:17) Who came up with “neurodiversity is a superpower”, a neurodiverse or a neurotypical? (04:23) As neurodiverse I do feel judged and not accepted (05:43) “Neurodiversity is a superpower" can be an attempt to manage anxiety (06:16) Glossing over things, is never going to help people (07:14) Masking: coping behaviours to fit in and be accepted (07:52) Constantly masking can be hurtful. (08:37) The responsibility of having to be less (09:08) Is there really inclusion in companies and schools? (10:40) Nuances of neurodiversity (13:13) Invitation to share how do you feel about this phrase as neurodiverse adult or parent

Always think positive

Today Julia and Angela deconstruct “Always think/be positive” and share how positivity can be helpful, but forcing positivity can invalidate human emotions and prevents honest relationships, personal growth, and can build a sense of frustration or wrong doing. Healthy emotional life requires accepting all emotions. They talk about: 1. Constant positivity is psychologically unrealistic 2. The Pressure to stay always positive invalidates other emotions 3. Emotions as data 4. Suppressing emotions prevents awareness of problems that need change. 5. Toxic positivity blocks authentic relationships. Here are the highlights for this episode: (02:22) Constant positivity is physically impossible (03:02) Pressure to stay positive at all costs invalidates other emotions (04:34) Emotions are data. (05:09) Children need to express and live with their emotions safely. (05:59) Learning how to express emotions and not be frighten of them. (07:26) Other emotions may allow you to see things thart need changing. (08:29) Staying positive all the time makes you avoid real issues that might need adressing. (10:06) We can not hide behind constant positivity just to avoid, conflict, difficult converstions and reality. (10:37) Staying always positive may not allow you to have real relationships (12:04) Pause and reflect about your feelings and emotions about different situations and people Connect with Angela [https://www.linkedin.com/in/angela-quinones-t/] and Julia [https://www.linkedin.com/in/julia-rogers-cpc-mcc-ma-a2238bb8/]