This Tantric Life with Layla Martin

That One Time I Had Sex in a Cemetery (and Other Tales About Desire)

Shownotes * Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist [https://laylamartin.com/vita] * How the American approach to pleasure compares to other cultures * Layla shares one of her favorite cemetery sex stories * The #1 way to get back into a sexual headspace * How to approach shame around your sexuality * Dr. Kate shares a take home practice you can use to connect with your body sexually Bio Dr. Kate Balestrieri, Psy.D is a Licensed Psychologist (Clinical and Forensic) in California, Florida, New York, and Illinois. She's a Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist – Supervisor, and PACT III trained couples' therapist. As the Founder of Modern Intimacy, a nationwide therapy practice, Dr. Balestrieri is a passionate advocate for mental, relational, and sexual health. Throughout her work, Dr. Balestrieri focuses on helping people build resilience and recovery from what ails them to move from a position of pain or discomfort to one of thriving holistically in their lives. Dr. Balestrieri is the author of What Happened to My Sex Life? A Sex Therapist's Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection and Pleasure, and is the host of the Get Naked with Dr. Kate podcast. You can learn more about Dr. Balestrieri's work on her website [https://www.modernintimacy.com/] and find Dr. Balestrieri on Instagram: @drkatebalestrieri [https://www.instagram.com/drkatebalestrieri/] Timestamps 00:00:00 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist [https://laylamartin.com/vita] 00:00:55 - Guest introduction 00:01:54 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification [https://laylamartin.com/coaching-certification/vita-coaching] 00:04:39 - Dr. Kate's 2025 mid-year sex in review 00:05:20 - The top ways Dr. Kate sees people lose desire 00:08:40 - How the American approach to pleasure compares to other cultures 00:11:15 - Layla shares one of her favorite cemetery sex stories 00:13:54 - Layla and Dr. Kate drink MOOD SEX MAGIC Elixir 00:16:19 - Dr. Kate shares a deep dive into her work with sex and addiction 00:18:22 - Get 2 FREE stick packs of MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir [https://shopmood.com/shop-all/mood-sex-magic-sexy-plant-activated-elixir/] using code PODCAST 00:20:27 - What it's like working with sex offenders in prison settings 00:25:04 - How better prevention can stop sexual violence 00:28:02 - The #1 way to get back into a sexual headspace 00:30:50 - How sexuality has changed from a cultural perspective over the last 20 years 00:32:11 - Dr. Kate's personal favorite thing about sex 00:32:54 - Dr. Kate shares her current sexual growth edges both personally and professionally 00:35:14 - How to approach shame around your sexuality 00:36:28 - Layla explains what it means to "eat shame for breakfast" 00:37:33 - Dr. Kate shares a take home practice you can use to connect with your body sexually 00:39:17 - Pleasure comes from within and you can access it anytime you desire 00:42:35 - Conclusion

Beyond Love: The Hidden Keys to Lasting Connection with Andrew Horn

Show Notes * Take your business to the next level with my ⁠VITA™ Coaching Checklist⁠ [http://www.laylamartin.com/vita] * The difference between objective truth vs. your truth (a.k.a. how to stop arguing with your own assumptions) * A practical script for conflict that doesn't melt into blame soup * The Five A's of Requests (Ask, Acknowledgement, Apology, Action, Agreements) * How to repair trust and build integrity like it's a daily gym routine * Why "Do you want to be heard, helped, or held?" is the relationship cheat code * Men's work, shame alchemy, and the real work of becoming who you say you are Bio Andrew Horn is an entrepreneur, writer, and relational leadership coach whom Forbes calls "Dale Carnegie for the digital age." He grew his last company, Tribute, to eight figures in revenue and millions of users, landing on the Inc. 500, before stepping away to focus on coaching and transformation. He also co-founded Junto, a community for leaders to explore men's work and personal growth. Andrew has shared his insights on global stages including Conscious Capitalism, Summit Series, and Google Talks, and coaches founders and executives from some of today's most innovative companies, including Hinge, Casper, and Everyday Dose. Learn more about Andrew's work ⁠on his website⁠ [https://www.itsandrewhorn.com/], at ⁠Junto⁠ [https://www.wejunto.com/], and follow him on Instagram @itsandrewhorn 00:00 Truth hits like electricity: authenticity, curiosity, presence 01:01 Meet Andrew Horn and why "being right" is overrated 03:03 The Burning Man suitcase origin story 04:00 Take your business to the next level with my ⁠VITA™ Coaching Checklist ⁠ [http://www.laylamartin.com/vita] 05:31 "I love the sh*t out of you" - friendship, on record 08:07 Bad communication = hyperbolic criticism (why "never/always" backfires) 09:41 Learning to meet fire with skill (Non Violent Communication, ownership, objectivity) 10:56 Gestalt wake-up: three pillars to speak from your spine 13:40 The eye-contact exercise that turned truth into lightning 15:02 Coffee-machine confession: when honesty cracks reality open 16:09 Matrix moment: you don't meet people, you meet your story about them 19:16 Layla's jungle-cult nights and the psychedelic power of saying the uncomfortable thing 25:02 Choosing aliveness over being liked 27:49 Objective > subjective: the foundation of clean communication 31:16 Feelings at work and the "clear ask" example 32:12 Get 2 FREE sticks packs of ⁠MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir⁠ [https://shopmood.com/shop-all/mood-sex-magic-sexy-plant-activated-elixir/] using code PODCAST at checkout 34:02 Curiosity as the antidote to mind-reading 39:46 Byron Katie and "everyone makes sense to themselves" 43:49 Boundaried vs. boundaryless and the sacred pause 47:45 "Violent" (charged) communication vs. objective language 51:10 Needs-based consciousness (OFNER) - a map out of reactivity 52:26 The Five A's of requests: Ask, Acknowledgement, Apology, Action, Agreements 58:24 Why agreements beat "good intentions" every time 1:00:55 Rituals that keep love alive: weekly check-ins & love dates 1:01:12 "Therapy speak" complaints - the pragmatic reframe 1:02:40 Integrity = knowing yourself, speaking the truth, and keeping agreements 1:06:37 Rebuilding integrity after breaches: deconditioning and working with shame *Correction: Nonviolent Communication was developed by Marshall Rosenberg (not Marshall Goldsmith).

What To Do When Your Childhood Trauma Is Hijacking Your Relationship

Shownotes * Take your business to the next level with my ⁠FREE VITA Coaching Checklist⁠ [https://laylamartin.com/vita] * How Shay's childhood taught her the impact trauma has on adult relationships * Why we have a tendency to draw in partners who are a perfect match for our wound * How to know if you're in a dead end dynamic in your relationship * The one question Shay asks herself when her inner saboteur comes up * The importance of loving your parts so they don't hijack you in destructive ways Bio Shay Aiyana is the best-selling author of Becoming the One and the founder of Rising Woman, a global community dedicated to self-healing, relational transformation, and spiritual embodiment. Her work blends somatic awareness, inner child healing, and grounded spiritual insight to guide millions through the landscapes of heartbreak, love, and personal rebirth. With a writing style that is both poetic and piercingly clear, Shay weaves personal storytelling with practical tools to offer readers a deeply human, emotionally resonant experience. Her words are a balm for those who have been lost in self-abandonment, teaching them how to come home to themselves with compassion and truth. Having grown up in foster care and overcome cycles of abuse, addiction, and heartbreak, Shay's teachings are not theoretical – they are lived. Through Rising Woman, she has helped millions remember that healing is not about becoming someone else, but about reclaiming the love, power, and wholeness that was always theirs. Learn more about Shay's work on the ⁠Rising Woman website⁠ [https://risingwoman.com/] and follow her on Instagram ⁠@sheleanaaiyana⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/sheleanaaiyana] Timestamps 00:00:00 - Take your business to the next level with my ⁠FREE VITA Coaching Checklist ⁠ [https://laylamartin.com/vita] 00:00:59 - Discover the ⁠VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification ⁠ [https://laylamartin.com/coaching-certification/vita-coaching] 00:02:29 - Guest introduction 00:04:39 - How Shay's childhood taught her the impact trauma has on adult relationships 00:07:30 - Why we have a tendency to draw in partners who are a perfect match for our wound 00:09:26 - How raising a child has helped Shay recognize adult attachment behaviors 00:13:01 - There are different levels of the expression of your wounds 00:17:04 - Why attachment and trauma wounds need to heal through relationships 00:21:24 - What is a healthy amount of healing that can be done in a relationship? 00:23:14 - How to know if you're in a dead end dynamic in your relationship 00:27:01 - A conversation that taught Shay she wasn't the partner she thought she was 00:29:31 - What it looks like to let your partner off the hook but still be self-responsible 00:32:14 - Get 2 FREE stick packs of ⁠MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir⁠ [https://shopmood.com/shop-all/mood-sex-magic-sexy-plant-activated-elixir/] using code PODCAST at checkout 00:36:03 - How changing your self-approach to "I've got you little one" shifts everything 00:40:52 - How being honest about your hurt in the moment improves your relationship 00:46:30 - How bringing "death energy" to her husband deepened Shay's marriage 00:49:49 - The one question Shay asks herself when her inner saboteur comes up 00:52:31 - A breakdown of Shay's first book, Becoming the One 00:56:52 - Layla's biggest takeaway from this powerful conversation 01:01:43 - True mastery is loving your parts so they don't hijack you in destructive ways 01:04:40 - 4 pieces of wisdom Shay used to create a better life than she was born into 01:06:38 - Conclusion

What to Do When Your Life Is "Perfect" but Your Soul Is Screaming

Shownotes * What Sarah's awakening and transition into feminine magic looked like * What sacred feminine ceremony actually is * How Sarah's marriage was impacted by her awakening * Why women's true happiness lies in their connection to themselves * The hardest parts about learning the Priestess path * The process Sarah went through to overcome her witch wound Bio Sarah thought she was destined to have an "in the box" life after going to a top college, working in advertising and then creating a successful emotional eating company. All of that changed when Sarah was introduced to Ceremony. After hearing "you're not who you think you are" while sitting in Ceremony and feeling the nudge from the Goddess to become a Priestess – she dove headfirst into training and ultimately became an Ordained Priestess. Sarah has a way of making spiritual work incredibly approachable and reaches over 100,000 people all over the world. She works with doctors, lawyers, CEOs, stay at home moms, teachers, life coaches and healers. You can join Ceremony by joining the Living Temple, which Sarah co-founded with Kelly Taveras, to experience this work for yourself. Learn more about Sarah's work on her website [https://thelivingtemple.co/] and Instagram @sarahjenks [https://www.instagram.com/sarahjenks/] Timestamps 00:00:45 - Guest introduction 00:04:01 - Sign up for Layla's newsletter at LaylaMartin.com [http://laylamartin.com/] 00:06:25 - Sarah shares what her awakening and transition into feminine magic looked like 00:11:02 - What is a sacred feminine ceremony? 00:13:43 - How Sarah discovered that her experience with the sacred feminine was real 00:14:32 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification [https://laylamartin.com/coaching-certification/vita-coaching] 00:15:57 - Sarah reveals how her transition into the sacred feminine impacted her marriage 00:19:53 - Layla and Sarah drink MOOD Sex Magic 00:20:44 - Explore the magic of MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir [https://shopmood.com/shop-all/mood-sex-magic-sexy-plant-activated-elixir/] 00:22:56 - Women's happiness lies in their connection to themselves 00:25:04 - The rise of patriarchy correlates with the destruction of the sacred feminine 00:34:07 - The moment Sarah knew she was ready to commit to the sacred path 00:37:04 - What the High Priestess path actually looks like 00:40:31 - Sarah shares the hardest parts about learning the Priestess path 00:45:45 - The most important functions of a Temple in a community 00:48:17 - Discover your sexual potential inside VITA™ Sacred Sexuality [https://laylamartin.com/goddess-empowerment/vita-sacred-sexuality] 00:51:46 - Humans have an entire brain center that only lights up in spiritual practice 00:57:45 - Sarah shares her favorite item on her altar 00:58:22 - Layla shares her favorite item on her altar 01:02:02 - The process Sarah went through to overcome her witch wound 01:06:50 - Conclusion

This Therapist Taught Me How to Go from Hot Mess to Girlfriend of the Year

Shownotes * Terry's "grid" that reveals how your trauma shows up in relationships [https://14530506.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/14530506/Podcast%20-%20This%20Tantric%20Life/This%20Tantric%20Life%20-%20Terry%20Real%20Handout.pdf] * The difference between individual empowerment and relational empowerment * Which quadrant of the grid Layla is on and how she got there * Why Terry calls our relationships our "biosphere" * Terry's best advice for shifting out of anger and into connection * A powerful guided boundary practice to follow along with Bio Terry Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and best-selling author committed to helping you build the lasting, loving relationships you deserve. The author of four books, including the recent New York Times bestseller Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, Terry knows how to lead people on a step-by-step journey to greater intimacy and personal fulfillment. His revolutionary approach to couples therapy, Relational Life Therapy (RLT), underpins all of his books, courses and teachings. RLT equips people with the powerful relational skills they need to make love work and cultivate authentic connections – to themselves, each other and the planet as a whole. A former senior faculty member of the Family Institute of Cambridge in Massachusetts and a retired Clinical Fellow of the Meadows Institute in Arizona, Terry has worked with thousands of individuals, couples and fellow therapists. His extraordinary ability to save couples on the brink of divorce garnered Terry the reputation of "the turnaround guy," and demand from other therapists to learn his RLT method skyrocketed. To bring the remarkable results of RLT to as many people as possible, Terry established his Relational Life Institute. To date, thousands of mental health practitioners have benefited from a whole new perspective on couples therapy that has transformed their clients, their practice and their own relationships. Terry is passionately committed to empowering us all with the essential relational skills for meaningful relationships. Learn more about Terry's work on his website [https://terryreal.com/] and take his FREE quiz [https://quiz.terryreal.com/quiz/]. Timestamps 00:00:56 - Guest introduction 00:01:12 - What Terry's book Fierce Intimacy taught Layla 00:05:03 - Sign up for Layla's newsletter at LaylaMartin.com [http://laylamartin.com/] 00:05:43 - Terry shares the work that inspired his grid 00:07:00 - Terry's "grid" that reveals how your trauma shows up in relationships [https://14530506.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/14530506/Podcast%20-%20This%20Tantric%20Life/This%20Tantric%20Life%20-%20Terry%20Real%20Handout.pdf] 00:09:47 - Why we have a hard time centering our own self-esteem 00:11:21 - Terry gives a real life example of self-esteem 00:15:33 - How to get out of one down or one up on the grid 00:21:10 - Say whatever you have to say, but do it from the heart 00:23:55 - Individual empowerment vs relational empowerment 00:26:10 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification [https://laylamartin.com/coaching-certification/vita-coaching] 00:28:41 - Why Terry believes that our relationships are our biosphere 00:37:54 - Unlock your deepest pleasure with MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir [https://shopmood.com/shop-all/mood-sex-magic-sexy-plant-activated-elixir/] 00:38:42 - Layla reveals which quadrant she is in on the grid 00:46:36 - What allowed Layla's pain and desperation to finally dissolve 00:48:52 - Terry guides Layla through an inner child exercise 00:57:45 - Discover your sexual potential inside VITA™ Sacred Sexuality [https://laylamartin.com/goddess-empowerment/vita-sacred-sexuality] 01:01:38 - The mysticism of marriage 01:07:55 - How Layla chose to be happy no matter what her partner is doing 01:10:50 - Guidance on how to shift out of anger 01:15:44 - Terry guides Layla and listeners through a boundary exercise 01:20:53 - Take Terry's quiz [https://quiz.terryreal.com/quiz/] to find out where you are on the grid 01:22:08 - Conclusion